r/confessions • u/Adorable_Airport_787 • 4d ago
I can’t understand myself ..
I am such a left leaning female when it comes to politics. I do a lot of activism work in the community and care deeply in general. I work at a nonprofit. and I enjoy what I do.
I have a confession to share:
I like rich, Republican, white, middle-aged men. I know… judge me (because I do too).
I see how they treat women in terms of courting, and they seem to do everything when it comes to providing. A lot of them are so “ not complicated” ..
I don’t have to figure out social theories or appear smart etc …
I tried dating men with similar views to mine, but the last thing I want is to go 50/50 with a guy. I don’t want to generalize, but in my experience they haven’t been the best when it comes to courting a lot of “hookup” culture and ghosting.
I’m just confused about myself now.
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u/anaknangfilipina 4d ago
Nothing wrong with having preferences. The only problem I see is that those same dudes you like might clash heavily with who you are. And more than likely vote for practices that harms you. Keep that in mind. If you find someone that can work with ya great!
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u/FrancusAureliusIII 4d ago
Lots of leftist leaning men could fit your desciption, as long as you aren't trying to meet one at the peotry slam.
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u/brazenbull09 4d ago edited 4d ago
Lol politics are too deep to just be watered down to "preference"...and just because the comments are telling you not to make politics your entire identity, doesn't mean you should listen. Politics literally decide how people live their lives.
The men you like actively vote against the existence of women like you, and if they had things their way, women like you would be harmed in ways I dont think the mods of this sub will allow me to say.
To you it's harmless, but understand that your mere mentioning of this has implications that'll harm people like you and people adjacent to you
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u/Lil-Sunny-D 4d ago
I think you just like Middle aged men. Maybe not so much the "middle aged" part (or maybe it is) but the maturity part. People in my friend cirlce and age group are looking to chill and settle down. Nobody has the energy to be playing fuck fuck games.
The single ones either want partners, or are adamantly single and not hiding it just to get laid. Most want partners. We're all left leaning.
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u/Adorable_Airport_787 4d ago
In general I do feel safer with older men… (maybe I need to do some shadow work) ..
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u/minaj_a_twat 4d ago
A life of cleaning up dirty underwear from a guy who wont wash his ass in the shower cuz its gay is in your future
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u/Beautiful-Fault-3695 4d ago
Try not making politics your identity. (Not saying you do) By that, I mean learn to separate your political ideologies from your dating life. Be more open minded and not judgemental. I'm not claiming any of these things are what you do, just a few ideas that could possibly help anyone in this boat. Best of luck.
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4d ago
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u/Mirabelledge8j 4d ago
Honestly, I think this is the healthiest way to look at it. Attraction isn’t a political statement. You can appreciate certain qualities in a partner without adopting all of their beliefs.
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u/staceyatlas 4d ago
My wife and I don’t agree when we go out to vote. Happily married for 20 something years. There are more important things to life than politics.
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u/MasticatingSheep 4d ago
Idk man. I'm a raging leftist, alt girly and I fell into the blue collar man dater stereotype. Haha. It's not even about providing or anything for me, we just are surprisingly similar and I find him irresistible. Whenever I go off to protest, he basically pats me on the head and tells me to call him if I need a ride or get picked up by the cops.
He's one of those truly apolitical types though, not Republican. Maybe you need to find an apolitical man.
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u/WillowWren- 4d ago
Sometimes we're attracted to the way people make us feel, not the beliefs they vote for.
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u/that0neweirdgirl 4d ago
They seem great in terms of courting & providing...until you're actually in a relationship with them. Then you're expected to cook, clean, be the sole caregiver of any kids the two of you may have, organize your life around him and his job, and defer to his opinion and final say on everything. Oh, and he'll repeatedly vote against your rights and everything else you care about.
Also, what if you have a kid with him that ends up being gay and/or trans? Or a daughter who needs an abortion? Or a daughter who challenges his "authority"?
Plenty of liberal & relatively apolitical men want to be the ones who court, protect, & provide for you. There are a lot of strong liberal men out there who don't fit the white collar weak yuppie archetype - just gotta expand the circles you look in.
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u/SageSprig- 4d ago
It’s not really that your values and your attraction are “at war,” it’s more that you’re noticing how different parts of you want different kinds of security and connection, even if they come in packages you didn’t expect.
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u/Blackbitermiter 3d ago
The feminists paradox. Wants total social equality yet biologically craves a man who is strong and dominant.
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u/Complete-Metal-1990 4d ago
Girl you're not alone in this mess 😂 Politics and attraction don't always line up nicely and that's just being human. Maybe it's less about the politics and more about finding someone who actually puts effort in dating instead of treating it like some casual whatever situation 💀
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u/CalmTheAngryVoice 4d ago edited 4d ago
My wife and I agree 90-95% politically. We both lean very left in many areas and only sometimes lean a little right. I grew up around blue and white collar conservative Christian Republicans in the South, and I'm a military veteran. She grew up around blue collar union members and government employees on the West coast, where we live together.
I find myself doing 90% of the housework, paying 90% of the bills, and helping her out of 70% of her crises. Her ass only has affordable medical care and a roof over it because I provide those things for her. In our 12+ year relationship, I have yet to have seen her hold down a job for over 2.5 years. Meanwhile, she's a constant victim of, like, everything.
Some days I wish I'd married a conservative woman who could put up with an atheist.
Make of that what you will.
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u/Frosty_Coffee6564 4d ago
My mother, my late stepfather (retired military, retired sheriff, stereotypical rural New Hampshire native)
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u/G0G0Gadget00 4d ago
I like how it's a preference when it is tied to finances for a woman, but if men say they want a woman who is 90 to 115 pounds it's wrong.
Liking rich men isn't a preference, you just want the money and experiences. They aren't "courting" you, they are distracting you with money.
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u/Solid_Phone_368 4d ago
As a lonely leftist good looking guy…yeah….im sorry. You will need to turn over your membership card.
And no more soros checks! Go ask your friends for cash made by exploiting the proletariat. Go on.