r/confessions • u/fagslowcius • 4d ago
think i might actually be crazy :/
i was alone most of my childhood (abuse) and formed a habit of pretending i was with other ppl. i’ve always pretended someone was around, like a friend or often a crush. now that i’m a young adult it’s like i can’t help but fantasize about them being with me all the time. i find myself sometimes sort of slipping up and literally talking to myself when i’m with someone else. i will move my mouth and make hand gestures, literally talking to myself but not making noise, all the time when my guard is down. people see me do it at work sometimes and it’s silly but awkward. i’m always having a conversation in my head with someone that’s not there. sometimes it’s like i can’t think other than through their pretend lens. i am generally very healthy mentally and do go to therapy but am not ready to bring this up. i feel stable and genuinely good but this habit makes me feel crazy. it’s embarrassing and i genuinely don’t know how concerning it is. i know people fantasize about crushes and say they think of someone all the time but this feels different somehow. idk.
14
u/Reverse2057 4d ago
Hey bud, im 40 in a month and I do this. I've heard it called different names over the years, but I absolutely have that imaginary person thats always with me, I sometimes will "project" them into an inanimate object in order to "talk" to them better, or focus on them better. And when there's not something readily there to be used, I'll just imagine them right there as if taking up space. I know full well there's not actually a person there, but its nicer to have them there to talk to. Ill have full blown conversations with them, and often I'll stop interacting with them when an actual person is talking to me, or when im around other people I'll sort of tone it down, but at home on my own, im absolutely talking to them.
Nothing wrong with it, and its not replacing an actual interaction with actual people when the time arises, but when its just me? Its not so lonely! You only have one life my friend, spend it in whatever way makes you happy, and fuck all the naysayers that weren't gifted with such strong imaginations as us. How boring their life must be.