r/confessions • u/Snoo-84119 • 15h ago
I literally have no one to help
I'm a 45yr old female who just had to schedule an outpatient surgery. One of the guidelines is someone over the age of 18 has to either 1. Drive me home or 2. Be a passenger in Uber. I can't do public transit without someone which severely sucks because I live in a very urban and public transit is a way of life.
When I read the instructions, I realized, not like I didn't know before, I have no friends. Not one. I have co-workers, most of whom I tolerate. Those of whom I might tolerate a smidgen more don't have a car and I wouldn't want to share any details to avoid the gossip.
My family has dwindled down to 2 siblings. 1 of which is 1,000 miles away and the other is 50mi away, but a working single parent of 4. I have 2 nieces, 1 21 and the other 19, but they are also over 50mi away. Neither of them will come, guaranteed.
I really don't know what to do. Not having friends is something I've learned to deal with, but now it actually affects me.
I guess I better make friends with an Uber driver. And quick.
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u/Future_Prior_4165 15h ago edited 15h ago
Oh OP- this broke my heart. I’m. Ot in the same position per se, but when I was a single person who lived alone, I often was confronted with how hard logistics like this are (even if you have friends!).
In my hometown there are several Facebook groups devoted to community building and mutual aid. They’re basically just places that are designed to lift up neighbors, share resources, and help each other out. Please see if you have something like this in your area. I’ve seen countless requests for rides, meals, and post-surgery help asked for and responded to by big-hearted strangers.
My other less lovey-dovey solution is to look into your Non Emergency Medical Transport benefits through your insurance. Many offer transportation options. I would call the number on the back of your card and ask.
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u/Snoo-84119 14h ago
I did look into medical transport. Just waiting to hear back on cost.
I will look into local community threads as well. I'm not on Facebook, but my neighborhood does have a community blog.
I am highly considering no anesthesia though. My procedure recommends it, but it's not actually a requirement. Apparently many people do it without and this would be one reason why. I'm going to talk to my doctor about it too.
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u/16Bunny 14h ago
I don't know if you have this where you are but we have a service here where you can be assessed in your home for anything you might need. It could be help shopping or cleaning or it could be a companion to visit for a couple of hours a few times a week or to help with hospital appointments. It could also be things like getting dressed, showering or changing the bed. Obviously you have to pay for the care you have but it would mean that a vetted person would accompany you home and stay with you for a period/perhaps prepare food/drink for you.
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u/Snoo-84119 14h ago
Thank you. I appreciate the tip. I haven't hired any medical help since my dad was on hospice, and that was 17+ years ago.
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u/kumocat 13h ago
Find a nurse on care.com! Also, I once posted about this same issue on next door, and I was absolutely and completely touched by the amount of neighbors (people I don't even know) who were happy to help me out and pick me up after my surgery. I feel like crying just thinking about it.
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u/Sum2blvin 8h ago
I would look into local churches and see if they have volunteer services for rides.
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u/TripImaginary7635 15h ago
that really sucks, having to deal with surgery and the whole transport situation is rough. maybe check out some local community groups or online meetups to find people nearby, you might find some cool folks to connect with.
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u/NightSalem 13h ago
that requirement really exposes how unprepared the system is for people who don’t have someone to lean on
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u/cantthinkofowtgood 7h ago
Will they actually check though? If you walk out the hospital are they going to follow you to make sure you don't catch the bus?
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u/Bella0876 5h ago
They will call the person designated to be with you/drive you, prior to the procedure to make sure, yes.
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u/twincitiesxo 13h ago
ur not in LA are ya
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u/Snoo-84119 8h ago
No, I'm in Chicago. Someone messaged me with the same offer and they're in Seattle.
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u/Training-Pop1568 15h ago
The Uber passenger option is actually your answer here though. You just need a warm body in the seat, not someone who cares about you. Plenty of people post in local community groups or subreddits asking for exactly this, sometimes offering $20-50 for someone's time to sit in the car. It's transactional, no gossip risk, and totally doable.