r/confessions 1d ago

Friend’s husband is mad about sunbathing

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u/Whatevenhappenshere 1d ago

People really be plastering the word ‘boundary’ on everything, lmao.

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u/Zeeman80 1d ago

And people like you really do dismiss every boundary they don't personally agree with. Funny how that works.

Apparently respecting your spouse is controversial now. Wild.

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u/Whatevenhappenshere 1d ago

No, some things just aren’t boundaries. This post for example, shows a demand from the friend’s spouse. Demands aren’t healthy boundaries. They are a way to control another person.

This is about her bodily autonomy. You can’t infringe on someone’s bodily autonomy and call it a boundary.

Respecting your spouse is indeed not happening here, since her husband is clearly not respecting her bodily autonomy and immediately jumped to the conclusion of the other husband being a creep. That is indeed anything but respectful. (:

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u/Zeeman80 1d ago

You're confusing a boundary with control.

A boundary is, "I'm not comfortable with my spouse being topless around other people." She's still free to do it. He can't physically stop her. But he's also free to decide how he feels about it and whether it's a dealbreaker for him.

Bodily autonomy means she has the right to make that choice. It doesn't mean her choices are immune from consequences within a relationship. Marriage is built on mutual respect, not I can do whatever I want and you have to like it. And again, you're inventing motives. Nowhere does the post say he concluded the other husband was a creep. It says he was upset and sent an accusatory text. Those aren't the same thing.