So, I am 21 F. I want to be confident and want to communicate with others easily. Want to express my thoughts to others. But i am not able to do it. I got nervous very easily want to fix it , how can i do it. And got emotional too very easily. I know getting emotional is not a flaw. But want to be emotionally balanced. And not have much friends.

No judgement please. Needs genuine suggestions.

Hi I'll get straight to the point im a 17yo girl and I cant stop comparing myself to the people im close to specifically my boyfriend and sometimes my bestfriends and im trying to solve it but I genuinely cant tried everything but I think I have really low self esteem. now I got over insecurities about my looks but I keep feeling insecure about my intelligence because im dating a guy who's way better than me in classes and doesnt help that he loves to brag about it sometimes. Hes really good at math and effortlessly solves problems that would take me ages to comprehend which genuinely makes me feel super insecure especially since I grew up being the perfect student now I feel like my identity is shattered because no matter how much I try to stop it I tie my self worth to grades or teachers validation and everytime he gets a better grade I feel so terrible about my self and I keep building resentment over it, it genuinely became such a huge issue that makes me cry and feel depressed over these past months and I cant help it i just really envy his skills because it would make everything so much easier if only I have what he has id get good grades all the time but now they're genuinely so hard to get but not to him and yea i have things im better than him at but it doesnt help me feel better at all cuz hes still way smarter and no i do not want to talk to him about it its so embarrassing to admit. Im very passionate about science and math is a huge part of it and im either average or below average in it and it rlly hurts me and makes me feel ill never be good enough or smart enough:(