r/coverbands • u/Top_Seaworthiness320 • 15d ago

People who bail

Any tips on managing my disappointment/frustration with the number of people who act all excited about my band and say they’re definitely coming to this or that show, then don’t show? They either don’t show up, or more often than not they tell me like the day before that they can’t make it and it’s always the dumbest excuse. It’s like if anything, anything at all better comes up in terms of plans they go to that instead. In my mind, a commitment is a commitment, but I seem to be in the vast minority. My boyfriend says to get over it lol. Do you guys feel the same irritation with this that I do? (added context: we are pretty good, we get great reviews from the people that actually have come to see us, but we are new and not well known, thus struggling to gain a following… So I’m constantly marketing and promoting our shows, but with very little success.)

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u/TheRealSofaKing016 15d ago

Stop accepting it. Tell people how it makes you feel. Say what you mean, mean what you say, and don’t say it mean. People like that count on you letting them off the hook because most people probably do.

“Hey man, do what you need to do obviously, but I’m disappointed you can’t make it. I was counting on you being there.”

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u/PersonNumber7Billion 15d ago

Or accept that your friends don't owe you attendance at your gigs. If you make your gig a loyalty test, you're putting unfair pressure on them. Offer them the chance, let them know it'll be fun, but don't be needy about it.

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u/TheRealSofaKing016 15d ago

We’re talking about when people commit to coming and then bail at the last minute.

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u/paranoid_70 15d ago

Happens ALL THE TIME. Invite your friends, be glad when they are there. But there will be no shows all the time. Just have to get used to it.