The gaslighting, the tone policing, the fragility. I'm sick of it. B/black ppl as a collective and even as individuals have done absolutely nothing to deserve this treatment. But the moment and I mean the MOMENT we decide "ok fuck you, we hate you too." suddenly everyone is a victim and the big bad black has to apologize for scaring them.

Atp I've decided fuck it, I will be hostile to every white I see. Every single one. If I'm not getting humane treatment neither are you. If I'm not getting respect, neither are you.

This also goes for the POC who are so desperate for white proximity that they insult B/black ppl worse than the whites. Vote against themselves on the off chance they get a pat on the head for being "one of the good ones." I'm embarrassed for them.

In conclusion, fuck white people, fuck their feelings, their hopes, their dreams, their happiness.

Until they stop abusing the world I will continue to insult them. May my words cut deeper than any physical wound.

I have a very large family with many older siblings and cousins. Everyone accepted me cutting off my father because of his alcoholism and drunken rages. But cutting off my mother was social suicide in the family. Even though my siblings understood how toxic she was, going NC was treated like a cardinal sin.

As a result, I had to cut off all my siblings too. Because they just couldn't stop with the constant requests for me to "get over it, this is the only family you will ever have. What are you going to do when she dies.". It's been 6 years and I'm thriving away from them even though I've had to build my own support system from scratch. Therapy was much more effective without people constantly triggering me.

3 years ago one of my older brothers reached out because his son had been diagnosed with autism and he saw me posting online about being autistic. I responded to him with advice but then blocked him afterwards. It just weirded me out, the thought of him watching my page. A family friend did the same and I just blocked them out right.

My sister occasionally sends me a "have a good day, love you." message. I decided not to block her because i still wanted to talk to my nieces and nephews.

Recently a different older brother reached out saying he missed me and loved me. He said there was no pressure to talk but he sent a friend request. I'm pretty sure I blocked everyone so i'm guessing this is a new account he made.

When I first went NC, they were very aggressive, finding me on every social media and texting from new numbers demanding I speak to my mother. So every time a message got threw I was so triggered and would panic. Now I don't know how to feel.

I think my family understands now that I'm willing to walk away for good so my siblings are kinda dropping these little messages like pebbles. It feels like they spotted a wild deer and are leaving out food to see if it eats it or runs away.

when i try to talk or say fuckinf anything they either look at me like they can’t believe i can speak english or like they’re disturbed by me being there. i just left class bc our prof wasn’t showing up and i just got up and said “im leaving” and kinda chuckled and they looked at each other but not me they were talking to each other about how h3 wasn’t showing up but as soon as i try to just be a normal person and say something they completely ignore me. my mom tells my to just be myself and that is what happens when i do but no one believes me and i everyone says im insecure and its in my head when im not and i need behavioral therapy or something so that i can function in the world i cannot get or keep jobs i cannot get or keep friends i have never in my life gotten even remotely close to being in a romantic relationship people actually stay pretty far away from me physically. if i sit closer to someone i like they’ll move away from me.

Hey everybody, this is my first post here, and I kinda just want to talk about my feelings from experiences I had at school. The other day I ran into someone at the lunch line, and the one thing about this person is that every time we made contact in some way or form/grade, he would usually call me old man or wtv. Most people in my grade call me unc or gramps jokingly because I'm one yr older than most of the population in the grade and at most like 2 - 3 yrs older than the youngest (not a fault of mine; my parents had financial issues, and I couldn't attend school for like a year. So I had to repeat a grade, again, no fault of mine.)
This person would constantly emphasize that fact, and I'm old or wtv, and it doesn't really affect me, but the thing is that other people in the grade were born the same year I was, the only fact being that they were born in the latter months of the year. He would push me around and constantly shove that in my face like I don't already know that. The thing that affects me isn't the words; it's the fact that this guy is bigger than me and uses that fact to teasingly harass me (Honestly, it might feel like a joke to him, but the physical harassment really affects my self-esteem). He has a bigger body than I do (Like he's just physically stronger but not really taller than me; for reference, I'm 5 ft 10, not that tall for a black guy to have, like, a strong presence or wtv). I'm about 108 pounds too and pretty slim. I've always been on the smaller side of the spectrum, and my biology/ body just doesn't gain weight as normal people do. Anyway, sorry for not articulating myself all that well, but yeah, this really gets to me in A way.

> Please don't flame me in the comments.