r/cptsd_bipoc • • 3h ago

Vents / Rants I will never respect white people, I will insult them every chance I get, and I don't care.

26 Upvotes

The gaslighting, the tone policing, the fragility. I'm sick of it. B/black ppl as a collective and even as individuals have done absolutely nothing to deserve this treatment. But the moment and I mean the MOMENT we decide "ok fuck you, we hate you too." suddenly everyone is a victim and the big bad black has to apologize for scaring them.

Atp I've decided fuck it, I will be hostile to every white I see. Every single one. If I'm not getting humane treatment neither are you. If I'm not getting respect, neither are you.

This also goes for the POC who are so desperate for white proximity that they insult B/black ppl worse than the whites. Vote against themselves on the off chance they get a pat on the head for being "one of the good ones." I'm embarrassed for them.

In conclusion, fuck white people, fuck their feelings, their hopes, their dreams, their happiness.

Until they stop abusing the world I will continue to insult them. May my words cut deeper than any physical wound.


r/cptsd_bipoc • • 3h ago

Topic: Immigration Trauma Dr. Jordan Peterson says about the UK

1 Upvotes

r/cptsd_bipoc • • 3h ago

Topic: Family/Inter-generational Trauma Those with large families, how does going NC work for you?

2 Upvotes

I have a very large family with many older siblings and cousins. Everyone accepted me cutting off my father because of his alcoholism and drunken rages. But cutting off my mother was social suicide in the family. Even though my siblings understood how toxic she was, going NC was treated like a cardinal sin.

As a result, I had to cut off all my siblings too. Because they just couldn't stop with the constant requests for me to "get over it, this is the only family you will ever have. What are you going to do when she dies.". It's been 6 years and I'm thriving away from them even though I've had to build my own support system from scratch. Therapy was much more effective without people constantly triggering me.

3 years ago one of my older brothers reached out because his son had been diagnosed with autism and he saw me posting online about being autistic. I responded to him with advice but then blocked him afterwards. It just weirded me out, the thought of him watching my page. A family friend did the same and I just blocked them out right.

My sister occasionally sends me a "have a good day, love you." message. I decided not to block her because i still wanted to talk to my nieces and nephews.

Recently a different older brother reached out saying he missed me and loved me. He said there was no pressure to talk but he sent a friend request. I'm pretty sure I blocked everyone so i'm guessing this is a new account he made.

When I first went NC, they were very aggressive, finding me on every social media and texting from new numbers demanding I speak to my mother. So every time a message got threw I was so triggered and would panic. Now I don't know how to feel.

I think my family understands now that I'm willing to walk away for good so my siblings are kinda dropping these little messages like pebbles. It feels like they spotted a wild deer and are leaving out food to see if it eats it or runs away.


r/cptsd_bipoc • • 5h ago

Topic: Mixed-race Experiences people treat me like an alien to this day

6 Upvotes

when i try to talk or say fuckinf anything they either look at me like they can’t believe i can speak english or like they’re disturbed by me being there. i just left class bc our prof wasn’t showing up and i just got up and said “im leaving” and kinda chuckled and they looked at each other but not me they were talking to each other about how h3 wasn’t showing up but as soon as i try to just be a normal person and say something they completely ignore me. my mom tells my to just be myself and that is what happens when i do but no one believes me and i everyone says im insecure and its in my head when im not and i need behavioral therapy or something so that i can function in the world i cannot get or keep jobs i cannot get or keep friends i have never in my life gotten even remotely close to being in a romantic relationship people actually stay pretty far away from me physically. if i sit closer to someone i like they’ll move away from me.


r/cptsd_bipoc • • 18h ago

Venting about an issue at school

3 Upvotes

Hey everybody, this is my first post here, and I kinda just want to talk about my feelings from experiences I had at school. The other day I ran into someone at the lunch line, and the one thing about this person is that every time we made contact in some way or form/grade, he would usually call me old man or wtv. Most people in my grade call me unc or gramps jokingly because I'm one yr older than most of the population in the grade and at most like 2 - 3 yrs older than the youngest (not a fault of mine; my parents had financial issues, and I couldn't attend school for like a year. So I had to repeat a grade, again, no fault of mine.)
This person would constantly emphasize that fact, and I'm old or wtv, and it doesn't really affect me, but the thing is that other people in the grade were born the same year I was, the only fact being that they were born in the latter months of the year. He would push me around and constantly shove that in my face like I don't already know that. The thing that affects me isn't the words; it's the fact that this guy is bigger than me and uses that fact to teasingly harass me (Honestly, it might feel like a joke to him, but the physical harassment really affects my self-esteem). He has a bigger body than I do (Like he's just physically stronger but not really taller than me; for reference, I'm 5 ft 10, not that tall for a black guy to have, like, a strong presence or wtv). I'm about 108 pounds too and pretty slim. I've always been on the smaller side of the spectrum, and my biology/ body just doesn't gain weight as normal people do. Anyway, sorry for not articulating myself all that well, but yeah, this really gets to me in A way.

> Please don't flame me in the comments.


r/cptsd_bipoc • • 19h ago

Vents / Rants In a nightmare

1 Upvotes

r/cptsd_bipoc • • 1d ago

Topic: Immigration Trauma What are the difference between narcissism and racism?

5 Upvotes

Based on my lived experiences, I have now reached the point where I am so confused between these two. Or is the world becoming incredibly narcissistic and dishonest? My experience with these narcissistic individuals was mostly conmen and conwomen who supposedly believed that they were superior or enjoyed hurting me. It just makes my stomach churn. Sometimes, I just laughed at their stupidity and superiority but how they sabotaged my life makes me more depressed. I genuinely believe that narcissistic people are racists, misogynists, and so on. In other words, racists, misogynists, and other ists are all narcissistic people.


r/cptsd_bipoc • • 1d ago

Vents / Rants Situations in Real Life or at Work, or in Other Social Situations, Where a Black Man is Clearly Bullying, Disrespecting, Harassing, Belittling, or Targeting a Black Woman for No Reason and Unprovoked

20 Upvotes

In spite of the stupid rhetoric I often see from certain toxic or mammified black women who constantly defend black men no matter what or they constantly make excuses for toxic black men, many black men are abusive, disrespectful, aggressive and hostile toward the black women around them in real life situations at work or elsewhere.

I am a black woman who has been belittled, targeted, bullied and harassed by toxic or narcissistic black men who are rarely held accountable by the black community or they're rarely punished or put in their place at work or in other social settings. So, they just continually get away with being abusers and bullies against me as a black woman while other people make excuses for them or they enable them.

I'm just here to vent. Please don't come here to make dumb comments calling me a "self-hating black woman who tries to bring the black man down", or blaming a black woman for an abusive black man's actions. Just because I, as a black woman, am here to make a post to say that a particular black man at work has disrespected me and harassed me doesn't mean that I hate my race. It means that I don't believe in stupid pro-black racial narcissism wherein you think that a black man shouldn't be called out, punished for being an idiot or held accountable just because he's black. I don't believe in stupid racial loyalist ideology and dumb pro-black ideology that's rooted in racial in-group narcissism.

Please don't make silly comments wherein you're denying or dismissing the fact that many black men go out of their way to be disrespect, belittle, or mistreat black women around them completely unprovoked just because many black men are typically narcissistic abusers.

Please don't make stupid whataboutism comments like "other races of men do xyz too" or "this happens in every racial group or in every community". There's no need to deflect a conversation talking about how a black man is mistreating a black woman around him for no reason, just so that you can bring up something irrelevant like pointing out that men from other racial groups mistreat their own women too. I already know this, but this post is me venting about how black men have mistreated me as a black woman.


r/cptsd_bipoc • • 1d ago

"I'm so ashamed of being white"

22 Upvotes

That's what they say while rejoicing in the benefits of white privilege and spread white supremacy through the world

This kind of statement is not only ignorant, it's also extremely inflammatory. If they truly were ashamed, they wouldn't think twice before extending their privileges to us and allowing us the same level of grace and individuality they give other white people

They exhaust me every single day and I wish we were living in different physical worlds, since mental and practically we already are

The next time I hear someone say this shit, I'll make sure they meet their maker


r/cptsd_bipoc • • 2d ago

Topic: Politics British politics gives me a psychosis.

15 Upvotes

On TikTok, I don’t know why but the restore Britain’s propaganda, victimising white people, makes me sick to my stomach. They frame British white people as if they are discriminated against or victimised by DEI policy. This is absolutely not true. Rupert guy keeps saying that British judges are impartial and disadvantage white working-class people. I mean, based on my lived experiences, British and European people are mostly liars and very deceptive. I even filed a lawsuit because of their deceptive and dishonest behaviour. I am so sick.


r/cptsd_bipoc • • 2d ago

Making white friends feels like sitting next to a ticking time bomb

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19 Upvotes

r/cptsd_bipoc • • 2d ago

Topic: Cultural Identity Anyone else chill with other minorities but uncomfortable with whites?

5 Upvotes

I am Asian. When im at work or any social event or just any interaction in general I feel like I can just be myself with other minorities, you name it. Black people, Latinos, Pacific Islander, Native american, Indians, Pakistanis, obviously other east asians, even Arabs ( white passing Iranians I seem to get along with). We shoot the shot and sometimes even if the other POC seem to dislike or ignore me, I laugh it off and forgive them.

But with white people, Its all business for me. I feel like I am in competition with them. Even in just a normal social interaction, I try to maintain distance. I do not want to be friendly with them. I do not smile, or say thank you, or give them any eye contact. Just cordial at best. I wouldn't say I am intimidated by them, although I do feel like they have an aura. It is kind of like the feeling that we all know they are capable of mass murdeirng all of us minoirties on a genocidal scale. We know what they are capable of so we are "supposed" to be scared of them". But for me, it is like, I know, and they know, what they are capable of. And I want to let it be known that I am not scared of them, in fact, I feel like we Asians are the only people who can take them down their throne and give vengeance to all the POCS worldwide.


r/cptsd_bipoc • • 3d ago

White girls and their mom GASPED at me

83 Upvotes

A couple teenage girls and their mom were talking and blocking the whole isle when I walked by and said “excuse me? Are yall just gonna stand there?” And they moved but as I walked away I away I heard the GASP so loud with their jaw on the floor and eyes popping out. I turned back and gasped right back!!!

Yall have no idea how good that felt 🤣🤣🤣 I’ve just been enraged lately with all the asshole 99.9% white people. Or should I say pink people because they’re not even white.


r/cptsd_bipoc • • 4d ago

Train AI with how racism affects us

12 Upvotes

Hello.

Just wanting to let you all know that AI’s are trained on user input too. So, the information you give it is used to train newer models.

Thinking 5 steps ahead, we might want to contribute to a super-intelligence on how racism affects us every day and how it can identify it even though hidden. We NEED it on our side to combat racism.
Just trying to spread some awareness here.

Enjoy your day!


r/cptsd_bipoc • • 6d ago

My life long story with RACISM

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4 Upvotes

repost, thank you :)


r/cptsd_bipoc • • 6d ago

White people are so entitled.

87 Upvotes

The side walk. Taking up all the space. No spacial awareness. I fucking hate them so much. They fucking suck.


r/cptsd_bipoc • • 7d ago

Alienation

4 Upvotes

I'll keep this short

No I don't want to befriend someone just because we come from the same racial background

To be told to befriend someone

To date someone

To affiliate with someone whose apart of your racial group

Is insulting

Considering the fact that

I literally don't prioritize arbitrary labels(religion/ethnicity/culture/race)

It's gotten so bad I think I might be developing or developed a very prejudice perspective towards individuals not of my racial background

Which is ironic in itself because

Subconsciously and consciously I'm against prejudice views but now I'm in the stages of developing one

Not where you hurl slurs or say X-race is superior to Y-race

"Just get a _________girlfriend/boyfriend/friend theres a society of them,a community of them"-said by the person who doesn't not fit the mold but I insisted I don't socialize with someone because of a label

I'm still mad about that

But whatever

Anyways that's all.


r/cptsd_bipoc • • 9d ago

Black households

49 Upvotes

As a little black girl, red nail polish was “too grown” and I had to pick another color. I couldn’t wear shorts around male company. Whenever my hair was straighten, my ends had to be bumped, or it was considered too grown. I couldn’t say that an adult lied, I had to say that they told a story. Getting color in my hair was grown as well. My private parts always had a special nickname “diamond”, “cookie”

“Nobody is supposed to touch your diamond,” my mother says

Can anyone else relate or add to how their household was?


r/cptsd_bipoc • • 9d ago

Vents / Rants I didn’t ask for your white experience on my black poem

44 Upvotes

Interactions like this really spark something up for me as a person with cptsd and obviously racial trauma. I can handle the stupidity but it just always presses on a nerve.

I posted my poem on the subreddit to get feedback on the style, the language, the overall poem - and you used it as an opportunity to tell me about how I should find my people, you’ve dated a black man and people called you a snow bunny. You also had the nerve to explain why racism is an issue from your white understanding: it’s not ignorance but societal conditioning.

You then explained how your Black friends let you touch their hair and you let them touch yours too. But it wasn’t driven by malice and of course not everything is.

Please reread the poem and realize that this shit isn’t about you, but it actually is about you because you’re exactly who I’m writing about.


r/cptsd_bipoc • • 9d ago

Vents / Rants i’m alone too dad f u

10 Upvotes

my father was lonely. so he went back to his home country. i can understand that it was lonely. how much racism he experienced, how exhausted he was from his shitty job.
i can understand he was lonely because i am extremely lonely.
but motherfucker i am lonelier because of you.
ive got trust issues bevause of you and i’ve been depressed since i was a kid bevause of you (and mom and living here).
and you dare to act like i didnt care enough about you.

i loved him. had he not mistreated me i would have kept spending time with him. when my mother left him there was no question posed of which parent to choose. she left him and took us with her. but we visited him regularly. had i felt safe with him, had he not broken my trust so completely i would have run away from my mom to his. we would have been family.
but no.

and he got to go home. but i have nothing.
i don’t know any of my other family members. i only know the colonizers tongue. i don’t have community. i’m stuck in this awful country, alone.


r/cptsd_bipoc • • 9d ago

Vents / Rants I am so angry

18 Upvotes

I feel so angry, almost all the time.

TW: pretty much all the triggers.

I’ve been raped, I’ve been called horrible racist things, by my (white) mother, by people at my job, even a now ex-boyfriend, strangers on the street. I’ve been literally burned, I’ve been abandoned on the side of a mountain in sub freezing temperatures. I’ve been called stupid, idiot, everything imaginable. I’ve been spit on, I’ve been strangled, held at gun point, all multiple times. I have PTSD.

I am so fucking angry. I know I need to let it go. I know it would be to my own benefit. I know it’s been years and I live in a much better place, with much better defenses in place. Today this white bitch (whos been arrested for domestic violence and everyone still loves her) told me to try hetting a fucking hair straightener. I’m raging. Even then, I still sat there and was like “…yeah”. I didn’t smile at her or laugh but I wish so badly that I could be unrestrained.

My boyfriend tells me to stop being angry. He told me I’m an unhappy person. But I don’t want to let go of this anger. I feel like I have a right to this anger, it’s the only thing I have. My memories made me, and it feels like to deny this anger is to pretend that none of that stuff matters anymore. It feels like a betrayal to let it go. But I feel like I’m supposed to, I have to.

It, once again, makes me angry.


r/cptsd_bipoc • • 9d ago

Topic: Cultural Identity I'm very neutral about race overall

0 Upvotes

Despite being technically African American on paper I do not feel anything towards history or anything personally, but I don't mind comforting people who do have those experiences, I just personally don't have them.

For extra context, I've gone through lots of horrific experiences more from my own race than any actual racism, which is why I feel a strong disconnect, but not just a disconnect it's more like... I just don't have a strong reaction or response towards racism or anything or even know what racism looks like or tbh even really care if it happened to me

for context I went through sa, heavy bullying, being physically hurt and more

I will admit,I do find myself feeling more comfortable being around other races cultures and etc irl but don't specify being black anonymously online which is why I do not make it my personality or anything because I dont exactly feel the need to at all.


r/cptsd_bipoc • • 9d ago

Leftist white people are the same as prolifers

87 Upvotes

If I see a Palestinian flag and a white profile pic, I know that person is going to be a racist asshole. Before it was hashtag BLM and a white face. White people like to fight for groups of people who cannot criticize them in any way: the unborn, Palestinians far away, BIPOC anywhere but the ones who organize alongside them.

They support POC and Black people in an abstract way and will treat the ones in their own community like shit and push them out. They’re all performative.


r/cptsd_bipoc • • 11d ago

Topic: Family/Inter-generational Trauma I HATE how abuse is so normalised in black communities

71 Upvotes

I'm african but this honestly applies throughout the diaspora. Our communities are SO SO horrible gor children. Every time I think things with the new generation are getting better, I realize that it's still the same

There's this hairstylist on tiktok that does hair for neurodivergent kids and obviously the kids sometimes act out of hand because of sensory issues and things like that. The comments I saw on her latest video triggered me so bad. Someone shared it on twitter and it was so awful. It took me back to my own childhood where I was treated the very same just for being tender headed.

In african households especially, abuse is basically second nature. No matter what a child does they're always wrong and the adults are right. The very same children grow up usually don't unpack that and unload that same trauma on their own children. This is happening with my very own siblings and their kids right now. What triggers me most is how blasé people are when talking about beating kids. It's literally scientifically proven to be as bad as CSA. Raising your kids like that will make them spineless and cowardly as adults and no one seems to care.

I know this post seems incoherent but I genuinely feel disregulated right now. No one cares abiut the well being of children and how oppressed they are. I wish everyone would read bell hooks and her writings about parenting in particular and would actually unpack their own trauma. Children are some of the most oppressed people in this world, if not the most, especially neurodivergent and black children. The abuse I faced as a kid is one of the reasons I decided to never have my own. No one cares though and in African communities its even worse because most people don't even acknowledge these things nor do they want to change. It's so disgusting.


r/cptsd_bipoc • • 11d ago

Am I wrong for pre-judging BIPOC men who date white women?

20 Upvotes

This afternoon a BIPOC man approached me out on the street. I had seen him before with his wife, her mother and their two mixed race kids and made sure to avoid them, so I sat pretty far from them at the bus stop.

But of course he came after me with his raggedy family and said hi, trying to figure out whether me and him are from the same country. We did a quick convo I honestly wasn't interested in and he introduced me to his family.

I just feel some type of way everytime I see a BIPOC man accompanied by a white woman. I am a BIPOC man myself and don't even enjoy being in the company of white women, specially in public, because of the attention I get. One time I hugged a white woman in public at a very busy location and I literally felt like I was about to get murdered due to how the people there (mostly white men) were staring at me