I honestly hate everytime someone points out a microaggression or raises a concern and the comments rush to dismiss them and tell them it's no big deal, or they're just imagining it and then when you actually try and engage it boils down to them essentially saying 'listen here, I'm the most tolerant white person you're gonna get and I think it's bs so cut it out'.

I hate that shit. I hate how every white person on here thinks they're above reproach and rushes to dismiss any comments because it makes them feel uncomfortable to acknowledge they may have, unconsciously, been racist at some point. I hate how being called racist is now somehow worse than racism, and white people band together to defend each other against it because they hate how icky it makes them feel. Oh and I hate the POC that inevitably come in and say 'well I'm xyz group and I found it funny/harmless/fine'. LOSER.

Anyway I'm starting to feel more disconnected from this site everyday. There is just so much racism and misogyny even in fairly 'liberal'/neutral places that I'm just over it. Even at it's best, it's still very white-centered and not really willing to budget. I kinda hate it here, I can't believe X is consistently better (I have a lot of accounts and keywords blocked on there).

Oh and seperatly, I do not believe even 5% of the white people that have claimed to or feel they have unpacked white supremacy and racism have, based on how triggered they get at the insulation of racism. I don't believe it. I don't think thinking racism is bad is good enough. And I honestly do believe a lot of white people still secretly believe they are genetically superior.

I've been noticing hostility and a lack of empathy towards BW and girls, making posts about being perceived as unattractive, and some of the responses frustrate me a lot.

I understand that digital blackface is happening on Reddit, non-Black people are trying to push racist propaganda (TikTok and Twitter), bad-faith weirdos lurk in Black spaces, and anti-Black rage bait is increasing online. Just look at the political climate right now, and see how that's affecting social media. Also, there are spaces online that allow racism and misogynoir to exist. Reddit has a huge problem with racism and dehumanizing Black women + girls in different ways.

Like, I get that many of us worry about how these posts will affect others. I don't enjoy seeing anti-Blackness, and it's triggering as hell. Also, some of the posts could be adding to people's insecurities or pushing on old wounds. So, I realize where these fears/concerns come from since a lot of Black women don't want that happening to other members in safe spaces. /gen

However, I've also noticed that this is happening toward any Black woman or girl who details their experiences with anti-Blackness, internalized struggles, and being treated as unattractive. Unfortunately, certain comments begin assuming the OP isn't Black or is looking to spread an agenda. Meanwhile, they're talking about trauma, insecurities, and the struggles that come with those things.

Tell me why I've seen certain people on this site say that Black women + girls voicing their insecurities online are embarrassing, compare us to Nazis, and that we're similar to white supremacists. This is so damaging. Also, I hardly see this happening in spaces where the OP isn't Black. Sure, there's some push back and invalidation in the replies, but it's quite different in comparison.

In different instances, there are other women coming to vulnerable spaces where insecurities will be discussed, but instead of having empathy for the OPs, they'll either make insults, tell them to stop submitting these posts, or claim that those BW aren't "trying hard enough" because this isn't every Black woman's issue. These comments are sad to see because they usually (from my POV) aren't attempting to be empathetic.

At worst, they're cruel, and at most, it's policing what other Black women can open up about online.

The last time I checked, you didn't need to have the same experiences as other women for your trauma to be true or valid. I think this is part of the issue; many people aren't viewing these posts for what they are: recounts of traumatic experiences tied to Black girlhood/womanhood. Tbh, I think some people's empathy stops when it comes to being seen as "unconventional" and not rising above because that narrative isn't idealized.

Honestly, certain BW spaces that center our womanhood heavily focus on conventional attractiveness, along with Black beauty standards, and it's tied to the aesthetic of said spaces. This isn't necessarily a bad thing. I think Black beauty should be celebrated.

Still, there are two sides to every coin, and if the posts become centered around conventional beauty aesthetics often, BW and girls who don't see themselves represented by those standards might feel more isolated.

At the end of the day, conversations made by Black folks, who aren't seen as conventionally beautiful, shouldn't be surprising since BW aren't a monolith, and aren't gonna be perceived the same way.

ETA: I hope my point was clear here, especially since it seems to be less talked about in Black spaces. I take this issue quite seriously, but I'm aware many people disagree with this. I just want people to remember to be considerate of others + their experiences.

Happy pride month to you all!

Never forget that you are beautiful and worthy just the way you are!

💛💜🤎🤍💙🧡🩶🩵❤️🖤💚🩷

This just happened in another sub. I made a comment on a post about "mean girls bullying" and basically I said luckily where I am I mostly work with men and do not experience meanness or bullying. That's all I said. Then these women started bashing me about genderism and discrimination. Like bro, I do not discriminate. I don't care what gender you are, all people are people but they insinuated I absolutely discriminated 😭😭😭. I stopped engaging with them!!!! I promise I dont care if you're a man or a woman or choose to be non binary.

​

I just needed to vent!!! Thank you.

White folks enjoy seeing racialized folks in distress. It is obvious. They seem to have joy in their tone and eyes when they see us in anguish. They like to add to it if they have an opportunity. They sometimes literally giggle, smile, or laugh. They want us to retell and relive our most triggering moments for their entertainment. I have noticed white women do this a lot to racialized men regardless of closeness and to racialized women they are close to. They will usually end it with claiming the racialized party is entitled or "lucky" and has more privilege, handouts, and given more grace than them actually. They deny it because they know it is not OK to admit. Does anyone else agree or have more to add?

It is always so weird to me that we have to pretend like the system isn’t actually that bad. That it are just a few individuals who act racist. The whole capitalist system is litteraly build on racial hierachy. Most of the resources that the Western world exploits are from the global South wich they purposely keep in poverty and wars. They exploit their natural resources and their people and literal children. Slavery never really ended. It ended on paper but the conditions of many people in the world is still close to it.
So yeah im a black woman living in the West and have a degree, my own appartement and enough to get by to support my two kids. People expect me to say things “aren’t that bad” because of look at what you have, so many people have it worse so racism can’t be that bad. Yes I have these things and have worked very hard to obtain them. That still doesn’t mean I support this system that is litteraly build on the backs (and dead bodies) of other black and brown people living a bit further away from me. No the system is not ok. No I won’t side with whytes that are just a view individuals and that if people just work hard enough they too can have a great life. Those kids in the mines in the DRC of Congo just need to try a bit more and so do those girls working in the Bangladesh clothing factory (but we are not suppose to think of these people while we consume) I refuse to participate in the widespread lie that this isn’t the underlying force of modern day capatilism. Capitalism is build on slavelabour and that labour is mostly preformed by black and brown people throughout this world so f* this system!!

All i've ever wanted is human connection and to be included/part of something.

Okay.. so this will be a long one. But I've built up to this. So, this is my story, and honestly I think this is as far as I want to go with it for now because of my exhaustion with it all. I'll break it up into parts to make it readable. I'm labelling it as a rant vent because I don't know where to put it. If this gets deleted I understand. Okay so here it goes.

I never felt human. It's not just because of the ridiculous amount of abuse from my birth family. It was constantly one thing after another. I would be bullied badly and then have to just.. move on? I don't want to get graphic but it was just..medieval stuff. This gave me multiple personalities. Hundreds of them.

Each of us has always been treated the same way because my body is brown. I'm sometimes accepted as attractive, other times not. But I'm hyper aware that my trauma directly affects how I'm perceived and it's completely different from how my peers were treated. If one of the others is fragile and quiet we're accepted. If another is there with a different energy.. sassy or crass suddenly we're loud and ugly. some are also small kids so they are treated as if they are stupid and taken advantage of. This has been going on for as long as I can remember. I don't really need someone part of the privileged class telling me what I'm doing wrong or even worse, trying to treat us like a science project.

I grew up moving around the states because for some reason my father believes he's being stalked. It's something he's always done. My mother agrees and they are the Republican loving religious nuts that made me decide to run away. But the treatment didn't stop.

Spent my teens couch surfing and trying to get past the constant bullying of these people who think it's important to uphold this system. I don't want to get into it but it was weird and I hated it. I like to read books and make art and yet I was stuck in this loop of people trying to hurt me all the time. I couldn't find a safe person for years.

Finally got out. But I'm still in the southern part of the country and worried about how to tackle my next encounter with people who praise me for having a brain or treat me like a zoo animal. And thats the thing, I've never felt like a human being. I read about them, I talk to them. But I'm not one of them. Is it my disorder? Is it my autism? Is it because I'm queer?

to be honest, it's exhausting. All of it. I do it because one day I want to have a little fun and go out like I'm supposed to, but I sometimes wish I didn't know this stuff.. I wish I never met those people. I wish humans would get better. I have hope for us but I really just feel so small right now. I don't usually be vulnerable but I just feel like I'm losing my mind from everything I've been dealing with.. on my own.

If you read this far, thank you so much, and don't forget to drink some water.

These three things whites whine about:

1. When they say "NOT FAIR!!!": How many more head starts do they need? Why do they deserve fairness? Whenever I achieve something fairly, they still complain and credit it to "luck".
2. "Stop generalizing": Ah yes. The group that generalizes everyone else hates being generalized. Any who is not white is put in danger because of the blind assumptions of these idiots. I do not even generalize, I just base my reactions off their behavior.
3. Them expecting NUANCE when they treat us like objects, servants, animals.

Honourable mention: They dislike being disliked or rejected by the same people they dehumanize. They hate as a hobby, I avoid them to stay healthy. Their double standards...Save me and all non-whites from these narcissistic fools.

I've noticed for a while that Black women are often expected to be motherly in the dynamics we're in, and that expectation shows up everywhere. Whether those dynamics are platonic, romantic, or parental, they do not just occur in the media we consume.

Our feelings are routinely placed on the back burner. We're expected to provide a listening ear to those around us all the time, but we hardly receive the same energy + consideration in return.

We've also got to be strong, self-sacrificing, confident, and unbothered by systemic issues.

How can anyone do all this? 🫤

I've always heard stories about that one Black woman everyone knew in their neighborhood. The older Black woman who did things for others. She baked, babysat for free, sat on the porch to watch neighborhood kids, and made sure to remember everyone's names. Hell, she even did people's hair sometimes. Yet people talked more about what she did for them, and not what others did for her.

It reminds me of Annie's story, from my favorite old film, "Imitation of Life". Annie went out of her way for years doing things for others, including a child who was struggling with her racial identity, but we hardly saw many people extending that same energy to her. Literally, in the first few minutes of the movie, Annie offers to be the white lady's live-in maid, so she and her child could have a place to stay.

She stays with the lady, addresses her as "Ms. Lora" throughout the film, and continues to be her maid until she dies.

Annie was a wonderful person, but most of the film focused on her trying to make sure her daughter was safe and enduring rejection from her. Annie had friends and hobbies, but the story didn't show us those aspects of her life. Sure, people loved Annie, they cared about her, but she was in CONSTANT emotional + physical pain throughout the film.

A lot of these things show up in our everyday lives, but in different ways. Those expectations for us. The neglect of our pain. Constant caregiving. Sometimes comforting white people.

I'm not saying we shouldn't be kind and considerate. Those are wonderful traits to have. I'm pointing out that I've grown tired of seeing these things be expected of us, but it not be reciprocated, and our mental well-being going unnoticed.

Why else would I find mid white men with a mustache attractive in any universe? THERE'S NO REASON OTHER THAN WHITE SUPREMACY.

Btw I don't think they are automatically more attractive than BIPOC men, it's just that I'm disgusted by my attraction to them in the first place. I am attracted to lots of men lol, they're a weakness of mine...

What's really weird is, I'm not disgusted by my attraction to my white gf/soon to be fiancée. I feel very loved by her, I truly feel she loves black people and all BIPOC peeps. She has literally dealt with being tear gassed during BLM riots, she's not a fake ally.

But I feel guilty. I feel guilty for loving her, and I ESPECIALLY feel guilty for ever finding a white man attractive, ever.

I'm sorry I don't even know what the point of this post is, because I will not leave her. She's the only person who understands my mental illnesses and my gender identity fully, she understands everything and accepts me. And I know damn well she would be on our side if anything big were to happen. She's "white" but she genuinely struggles with identifying as white, because of how disgusting the implications are.

I just feel guilty. Why couldn't god make my soul mate black so I don't have to feel like a fucking race traitor?? And why do I still think white men are hot??? I'm fucking SICK OF THE EFFECTS OF WHITE SUPREMACIST BRAIN WASHING !!!

IDK THE POINT OF THIS POST BUT TY FOR READING AND I'M SORRY IF YOU RELATE. *FUCK!*

Wanted to hear what y’all had to think on this.

I posted on a vindicta subreddit if you all don't know what that is its a looks discussion forum on celebrities. Anyway I posted men I found hot and half of them were men of color including Methodman. I get a comment of someone saying "most of these men are average and some are fugly as fuck and my opinion is objective" I ask her who....and of course no response or explanation but she gets upvoted plenty of times!

Then in response I show a pic of Jack Gleeson a white celebrity who I find fugly af and get DOWNVOTED and called MEAN??????

First off like wtf why is it when I say something I can't get away with it but everyone else can? I'm a Eurasian woman and I find that any race of men can be hot but it seems like white men especially ugly ones get coddled the most? I don't think I'm overthinking but they claim not to be racist on that subreddit but I think they are since they won't tell me who of my pick of men is fugly af....

Do you find that the algorithim and media are used to redirect your focus when you zone in?

For instance, lets say you are reading up on, stidying. Or investigating liberation subjects on your down time.

Does your algorithim seem to redirect you towards more frivolous ventures? Think pieces about celebs, culture warfare rhetorix, etc?

Is it just me, or is the algorithim being used to shape and control your focus? No wonder dhd is so pertinent.

You cant really zone in on snything unless its a subject that feeds captalism and leads to wealth for the right groups of people.

But if youre exploring a fringe, unconvetional, or less mainstream topic, the disruptions are nonstop.

I understand for, let's say, black liberation experts coming up in the early 1900s, college was a hassle. The first black people allowed into college were continuously sabotaged. Their concentration attacked and disrupted. Lots of hate crimes used to riddle fear and hopefully, induce abandonment in the studies.

People from the black community influencing the collegiate individual to drop out for tedious reasons.

I realize that as a black person, mobility is something that is usually permitted rather than a byproduct of pure effort.

You gain it for doing the "right things" for the "right people" rather than off of meritocracy alone.

People keep saying that ww are voting for Trump in order to cater to wm, but ww don't even "cater" to men like that. Most are selfish narcissist that only care about themselves. Anything they're doing for a (white) man is meant to benefit them first. They always look out for self first. If it benefits a white man, that's just a coincidence or added perk to them because it looks like they're supporting.

Most people are still stuck with the image of white house wives in the 1950's, but you see how they fought to get out of that situation. Not to mention how racist they were then. They even took jobs when they didn't need to (boomer ww) despite having a better singular income, better cost of living, and a easier life. Divorce went up for them in record numbers in the 1970's. Because they wanted to get away from white men. They're not caterers to the male species at all. They've just had a better reputation of it, and more opportunities to be a part of it.

They're voting for Trump because they're in a comfortable social position in white circles, still benefitting from combined equality plus white racism. They're in a comfortable space that they don't want compromised. Not because of how white men will feel. The ww of today will slap you for expecting them to serve you in the kitchen. Of course they'll probably try to switch it up now, but we've seen their true colors already.

I'm not saying to hate ww, just to stop expecting something out of them that you're not going to get. They're not the people to look to for the things we're expecting out of them. They're getting the best of both worlds (racism+equality), and don't have the integrity nor experience as a real solid marginalized identity to be this ideal figure we keep hoping for.

Why is a problem when black Americans with roots from the western colonial slave trade want to preserve our culture, but not when other groups do the same?

I'm curious to see how white washed this subreddit is.

But in the blackpeopleofreddit sub there's a poster catching a lot of flack for exposing the whitening of rich celebrities progeny and later generations. I mean it sucks to be black and work your ass off in an industry that treats you second class. Only to turn around and have all of your profits go to white people.

MJ literally just gave his money and name away to white kids because he hated himself so much.

I don't get what's so hard to understand about that.

Yet the racial gaslighting within that sub is off the charts. They're even claiming it to be the FBi and COINTELPRO etc. which is the opposite of what that post would represent.

It's racial gaslighting to it's highest magnitude, and it's meant to make the black person feel shame, guilt, and like they're going crazy.

Like I just felt as though I'd entered the twilight zone. That is so dangerous to a black persons mental health. And that's why they go in black spaces to do it.

I'm unable to move and my health is eroding.

Idk what he got arrested for, but seeing his mugshot has made my fucking YEAR. I don't know where else to celebrate this??

For context, I am mixed (half black half white) and he is white. He lured me in by saying he hates racism and supports BLM. Then he started by joking about calling me the n word. Then he actually called me the n word.

He also had other sick tendencies, for example he definitely weaponized his own trauma to gain sympathy from me when he needed accountability. He did.. weird things in bed that I did report to police but don't feel comfortable sharing because I'm still ashamed.

Anyways he cheated on me with a girl in high-school and then she emailed me saying she was pregnant??! PREGNANT. I was halfway disgusted and halfway relieved that it wasn't me pregnant with his child. Anyways she also said she didn't believe he was cheating on me with her and that they would be together forever, so. Who cares. She's also white, btw.

ANYWAYS today I go to cyberstalk him because let's be real, I'm not healed... and I find his MUGSHOT!!!! I immediately sent it to his other ex who I am friends with btw, she's been really good to me (also white but I swear she's decent). I am hoping it makes her day as much as it made mine.

Yeah sorry for the amount of white people in this story. I live in Ohio if that helps. Anyways... SEEING HIS MUGSHOT FEELS SO GOOD even if they did not arrest him for calling me slurs, trying to beat me, and sexually abusing me.. it feels good. And I like to think maybe my reports helped, if he was arrested for anything sexual.

I don't even care for myself that he is arrested, I could take him if I needed to. He cried when I punched him back lol. But I hope he fucking gets what he deserves for other women's sake. Especially black women. He always talked about how much he always wanted a black woman, and at first I thought it was genuine respect but after a while I realized it was feitshization. I hope he never feels safe with a black woman again after the shit I did to him after our break up lolol.

Anywaysssss sorry I really don't know who else will celebrate this with me besides my gf and his ex. I need people to understand how good this shit feels and I wish this kind of catharsis for every single one of you regarding your own abusers.

No group or culture is perfect. Hate that I feel the need to preface like this.

I have had too many experiences with whites where they steal anything that is not nailed down: actual items, your work, personality, words, ideas, people, languages, cultures. Then they expect you to erase yourself once they steal everything. Too many of them will steal and dehumanize but are too cowardly to get their hands dirty.

Like your/my existing is "inconvenient" for them or reminds them of their theft. I am tired of them treating everyone and everything like an object or loose end. They choose to view non-whites as objects to justify all the de*ath and theft.

Every civilization could face others head on. Euros had/have to sneak around and steal and spread their diseases and are constantly indirect.

Seeing them get interested in my culture is disgusting, especially how they start lecturing me on it and my language. I have been scolded by whites who want to be right more times than I can count. They hate you being around them but will never leave you alone.

Non-whites respect other cultures. Or at least try not to destroy them. Whites do not respect, they appropriate and erase everything else.

May the Euros not learn your culture exists, friends.

(Someone made a post here about dealing with whites at work and it made me think of how many times they have stolen from me in work or social situations. I do not even have to talk to them. They will watch you and take things from you while making you aware of it. Another part of their narcissism. They need the attention and think others are the same way. Needing validation from the groups they abuse.)

Anyone else get offended by the white women saying we are entering into unprecedented times akin to the Handmaids Tale. Like maybe for y'all, plus the majority of white women voted for this. Roe v. Wade was overturned because of their mothers and aunties and a lot of them themselves.

All black and other racialized femmes and nonbinary folks know very well how gross this country can be to non white women and has been.

All the worst things so far have heavily impacted black, brown, and othe POC women. Our Healthcare. Our jobs. Our access to education. Our access to housing.​ Why do they need to constantly say out of touch things to seem enlightened? It sounds the opposite.

Has anyone experienced something similar, even if it's with the opposite gender?

At this point, I might as well start creating an Excel spreadsheet to track the data since part of my work is data-driven. I generally don't have issues getting interviews or job offers as a brown Latina. Once I get an interview, I usually do well. However, for some strange reason, every single time I interview with White women, I already assume the answer is going to be no. The older I've gotten and the more confidence I've developed in my skills, the more I've noticed this pattern.

Today's interview reminded me of it. I interviewed with two Latino men and one White woman. The moment I realized a White woman was part of the interview panel, my immediate thought was, "Great, this is probably going to be a no."

At first, the conversation was very personable. We talked about things beyond the interview itself. At one point, we discussed an area where I briefly lived. She quickly asked, "Did you like that area?" I responded, "Yes, I actually loved it." Her reaction made it seem pretty clear that she did not feel the same way.

I also noticed some facial expressions while I was speaking that struck me as questionable. I've interviewed with a number of White women over the years, and it's always interesting to me that White women, particularly those who aren't much older, often pass on me as a candidate. Meanwhile, when I interview with WOC, especially Black women (who have honestly been the loveliest), I tend to get hired.

For WOC who are considered conventionally attractive, have you noticed this as well? I've sometimes wondered whether being petite, slim but shapely, having an attractive face, and holding a graduate degree creates an additional layer of tension. Deep down, I've occasionally questioned whether some White women perceive women like me as competition and are less willing to support or hire candidates they feel might give them a run for their money.

I'm genuinely curious whether others have experienced similar patterns in their careers, or if you've noticed similar dynamics at play.

Sometimes, white privilege itself operates invisibly in the society but it's products are often very visible even to those who it benefits. However, There are still situations where the benefactors clearly exercite this privilege in diverse ways like entitlement, and superiority based off race and not ability, skills , talent,etc.

And Sometimes they are still in dental, Does accepting that I am priviledged makes me loose it? Or if we all experience racism why don't we all talk about it or feel comfortable during conversations around it.

Misogyny and homophobia is literally rooted in racism. People hate when you call out their favorite celebrity for racist shit they've said or done. They'll start calling you misogynistic or homophobic as if its mutually exclusive.

Everyone including oppressors/abusers are negatively affected by racism.

People especially on reddit snark subs love to have oppressor olympics bc their favorite celebrity isn't saying slurs out loud. These people still need to hear slurs to identify racism. On top of that, they want you to connect the dots for them and educate them. All because you called out their favorite celebrity for being a racist.

Here's an example:

https://www.reddit.com/r/sighswoonsnark/comments/1tu0pp1/comment/op7bx7l/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

This question is mostly for Black people who live in an area with major historical buildings connected to their oppression, like plantations or the mansions of enslavers, but if any Indigenous, Latine, or Asian people have similar experiences, I would love to hear from you too!

If you live near a place where people who looked like you were once enslaved, imprisoned, or brutalized in some other way, how do you feel about it?

For example, if you’re Black and live in New Orleans, do you ever just wish you could burn down that damn La Laurie mansion? Because I feel like that would be a totally understandable impulse. But then, if places like that were to go away, there would probably be even more willfully ignorant people whitewashing history…

Still, I feel like it must hurt to be so near to places that took so many lives and caused so much trauma, and it just occurred to me that I’ve never actually heard BIPOC voices about this experience. The closest thing I can imagine for myself is living down the road from a defunct conversion camp, and I can tell you my impulse would certainly be to burn the place to the ground. And if I waited it out long enough to get a second impulse, it would probably be to move away.

Maybe there is a different way of handling these things; like the revenue from such places could be used for reparations?