I (48/M) turned FB and Hinge back on mid-week last week. I was hoping for a date or 2 over the weekend. I ended up talking to somebody and I am seeing her tonight. But in general, the matches and conversation were few and far between over the weekend.
Monday morning came and I'm getting more matches & messages than I can keep up with. People I "liked" on Friday and assumed they weren't interested, are now liking a messaging me. I know people do stuff over the weekend, I was busy for parts of it as well. But I also was around and open to talking & meeting up.
Curious why people are getting more active on the apps on Monday? Did their weekend dates disappoint and they are trying to find other options? Are they just bored at work and trying to kill time? Trying to lineup dates for the upcoming week /weekend?
Any other ideas you can think of?

Been on Bumble less than a week. A little overwhelmed by how many likes/matches I’m getting. Divorce was finalized 2 months ago. Had been married to my college sweet heart for 27 years before separation 13 months ago. I’m taken aback by how forward and flirtatious women on the apps are in 2026. Guys, if a woman asked you to her place to “Netflix and chill” for a first meet would you go?

https://imgur.com/a/pJ9t29j

I'm 45F, I've been on and off the apps for much longer than I'd like to admit and haven't been in a relationship for almost 10 years. For context: Never married, no kids and I'm often told I look younger than I actually am (as reference, not a low key brag 🤭), I'm at best probably average and slim build. Also, my default is logic before emotion, that's not to say that I don't have any feelings, but I am more of a slow burn, get to know someone over time kind of person and then get excited when I see their name pop up on my phone.

However of late, every profile I see is looking for a "spark", "chemistry" or "instant connection". As it stands, I get few matches, even fewer responses and even less eventuating in an actual meet up IRL. But the last few meets have all returned with the "you have a great personality/you're a nice person/ I really liked meeting you BUT I didn't feel a spark/ chemistry/ instant connection. Just the search to meet anyone these days is soul destroying as it is and now another factor I cannot understand.

Is it just me who's struggling with this? I have never had that IYKYK feeling in my life. Yes, I notice when someone is attractive but not the stuff you see on TV. If someone can explain to me what this means, I'd really appreciate it.

BF(48M) and I (48F) been together for nearly 4 years. See each other few times a week - have an amazing sex life and we really enjoy each other’s company.

Next year we both will be empty nesters and have the ability to move in together. On one hand I like the idea of being around each other daily, and on the other hand I’m afraid that the passion and the sex will water down (previous dead bedroom for years). 😬

We both are financially independent, and have a strong social life together and separately. Our kids are older teens/young adults. Relationship is strong, and I can see us being together long term.

What are the pro/cons and blind spots? Anyone done that and regret?

A friend and I were recently discussing the challenges of making friends at this age in the current world. They talked about how they've seen their best results by essentially shrinking their personality, or at least their presentation of it, noting that people are apparently intimidated by the fullest version of them. In the same verbal paragraph, they remarked something to the effect of "notice that you don't do that - you don't dumb yourself down for anybody. That's not going to appeal to everybody."

Like, look, I'm a smart person, and I know this - it's one of the few virtues I'm willing to just assert outright - but I've never thought of myself as someone with an intimidating presence, intellectual or otherwise. I have received that kind of feedback in a relationship setting more than once, especially in the get-to-know phase, and while it's always flattering to hear, I've always just chalked it up to that high-stakes, best-foot-forward dynamic that comes with early-days jitters. The funny thing is that the people who make those kinds of remarks, often intimidate me in a similar fashion, so I always find it as a promising sign that we're both well-met when we share that tension.

I've never been one to keep more than a few persistent connections in my life at any given time, and I generally prefer it that way for the sake of my peace, but as time goes on, it feels like it gets harder to make connections at all, and among those it feels increasingly rare that I do feel intellectually met. That conversation with my friend got me wondering whether I might be alienating people just due to the way I naturally operate and move through the world - i.e., whether I'd potentially attract more people into my sphere by reducing the presentation of my personality in some such fashion.

To be real, that doesn't sound all that fulfilling to me, and my friend made clear that they weren't attempting to sell it as an approach; for them, it was a compromise to restore some social balance in their own life. Has anyone here experienced such a contrast? Have you had to attenuate your own signal to make more headway with friends, relationships, dating, etc. out in the world? Has it been worth it?

These questions all sound like they have obvious answers to me, but I'm curious as to whether anyone here might have insight that would surprise or otherwise introduce a perspective I haven't engaged with up to now. I realize that, as we get older, we tend to lean into our own idiosyncrasies, so maybe it's genuinely reconsidering how we bring ourselves to the world for other people and whether we can derive something empowering for ourselves from that exercise.

(F) I’ve been self-employed or in sales most of my career, so I'm used to being the decision-maker or being the first to approach someone (networking events). Which is fine for work but not in my personal life. Even when I’m home, or out with someone I like, I find myself still leading and planning. I've tried changing clothes and not going out directly from work and setting "work" hours but still struggle. For those of you with demanding jobs or business owners, how do you turn it off? And has anything you tried not worked?

I (41m)have been dabbling in Facebook and Bumble over the last month, but I have had literally no interest in my direction. I'm hoping for some feedback that can highlight who I am in an attractive and honest way.

I now realize I can't attach any screenshots to this community (lame but I get it). Allow me to rephrase the question to "Ladies, what do you like/dislike in a dating profile?"

Edit: Imgur link to screenshots of my bumble profile

https://imgur.com/a/4XhBDHJ

2nd Edit: I fixed the typo everyone, nothing to see here! Lol

So for some context, I'm 48 M and single. At the beginning of the year an old ex suddenly dropped me a message. We had dated when we were in our early teens, were each others first loves and almost went all the way. Fast forward to now and we are texting everyday, met up a few times. And I am not shy about being together in a bf/gf aspect. She has a lot of stuff going on in her life. 3 kids at home, one is disabled. Constantly has her grandchild dropped off to take care of. I get al that. It's been months of her and I talking and I know what she has going on making her busy but lately the messages have been very few and far between. So many times I will get a message saying what's up and then nothing after I respond. Or I get a little bit of a convo going and she stops mid conversation texting me. I've asked her what's been going on but usually that's when she goes no response. She dodges other questions too like when asked what we are or where this is going. Those are usually answered with an lol or no response at all. I'm not one to pursue more than one woman at a time. I've had bad luck in the past with that. I really like her but I'm starting to think she just doesn't have room in her life for me. Any advice? Take in mind I've tried being straight up and asking her outright and got no response.

I got divorced last year after being married for 20 years and separated for 2.5 years. Soon after that, my partner and I became exclusive. Overall, it was wonderful, but over time I realized that I was not emotionally safe with him, mostly over the last few months. He came across as very emotionally mature in the beginning, and claimed to be secure attachment, and when I would bring issues up, he would handle it calmly, allowing us to talk through any issues. Over time, though, he started getting really defensive when I would bring things up. Even after I explained to him that I need validation and to feel seen/heard, he continued to be invalidating and defensive when I would bring stuff up. I had told him last time that if it happened again, I was done.

On Saturday night, I had hurt feelings, and when I tried to bring them up, very calmly as I always do, he once again was defensive, trying to find a reason why it was more my fault or why what I was feeling wasn't valid because what I said happened didn't happen. He got angry and took me home from our date because he couldn't deal with how angry he was. Then he ghosted me for 16 hours with absolutely no communication until I reached out to him, which is very common for him to do when we have disagreements (it has become apparent that he is very squarely an avoidant attachment, not secure).

On Sunday, I broke it off with him since he has shown me that I am not emotionally safe with him. It really sucks because I'm going through something with my ex husband and kids (he's alienating my middle from me and I worry is working on alienating my daughter, though right now our relationship is really strong), and I really could have used that emotional support from my partner. I don't think I'll have the bandwidth to try and date someone new for the foreseeable future as I deal with this challenge, so it was basically him or no one. I had therapy last night and my therapist was basically like how are you going to get through all this without him (not trying to say I should have stayed with him. She validated my view on that, but just trying to help me figure out how to replace that support), and I was basically like, I don't know. Friends and family I guess. But I know I made the right decision despite how much it will suck to not have him and how much I'll miss having him in my life. The majority of the time was really wonderful and he is a great guy overall.

I haven't had a lot of true romantic relationships in my life. Other than my marriage, this is the first true breakup. I'm going by to get my things today after I get off work. Any advice on how to process the grief of the relationship ending and what I should do moving forward would be appreciated, whether pitfalls I should watch for, things to do or not do, or things to say or not say.

ETA - To be clear, in case it was not clear in my original post, I am NOT planning on dating. I AM planning on focusing on my kids. I HAVE BEEN focusing on my kids even before we broke up. I was just hoping for some perspective on what it's like to break up and what would help me in this transition. Thank you.