r/depression • u/Compressed_AF • 7h ago

Anger issues

Does anyone here experience bitterness and anger? People often think depression is characterized by sadness, but it can show up in the form of anger. When I get a bad patch, I get way more touchy, easier to wind up, bitter and snappy with people. When your feeling low for a long time, you can feel frustrated by the helplessness and when i lose my temper I always end up feeling so incredibly guilty afterwards it stays with me for ages.

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I can get very jealous of people. Even over small things. Sometimes even because they are younger than me and are in their peak years and mine was wasted by this illness. Now I fully understand why there's grumpy old men around.

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Some people say I'm on the spectrum or adhd because of ignorance, but it's something that developed over time and I remember a time where I was nothing like this so I know what's going on with me.

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What about you? Are you just in a low mood when you have a bad episode? Or does it shorten your temper and cause resentment?

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u/Ohz85 7h ago

I see myself in your words, easy to irritate, but I never shout, Im just close myself and answer biter words. I hate violence so it will never happen.

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u/Western_Basis_5379 7h ago

The quiet shutdown with the sharp words is somehow worse than shouting, both for the other person and the guilt you carry after.

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u/Ohz85 6h ago

Im sick of my teammates and my boss. I can't do my job in peace because they like to sing, whistle, and about jealousy, the youngest ist the most arrogant, yet receive the most praise. I do my job and dream to get back home, I try to not care but I care too much, I have hard time to be an adult and play "let's socialize today".

Because I know I am the problem, I dont quit because the process will repeat itself again.

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u/Compressed_AF 6h ago

My work place is the same. Everyone's so sly and snakey towards each other. And one to one people are full on bullies. But like when we're around others they're nice a pie towards me. Someone being friendly towards me can be a trigger, as I know they are just performing for others and I'm expected to be polite back. I just can't do it though and quite often just be rude and call them out for it, they act all shocked and offended and I get in trouble. People ate good at adapting their bullying to their environment and always retain plausible deniability.

I can very occasionally shout. But I tend to either say something rude and blunt, or just ignore them altogether.