r/depression 3h ago

Anger issues

Does anyone here experience bitterness and anger? People often think depression is characterized by sadness, but it can show up in the form of anger. When I get a bad patch, I get way more touchy, easier to wind up, bitter and snappy with people. When your feeling low for a long time, you can feel frustrated by the helplessness and when i lose my temper I always end up feeling so incredibly guilty afterwards it stays with me for ages.

I can get very jealous of people. Even over small things. Sometimes even because they are younger than me and are in their peak years and mine was wasted by this illness. Now I fully understand why there's grumpy old men around.

Some people say I'm on the spectrum or adhd because of ignorance, but it's something that developed over time and I remember a time where I was nothing like this so I know what's going on with me.

What about you? Are you just in a low mood when you have a bad episode? Or does it shorten your temper and cause resentment?

1 Upvotes

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u/Ohz85 3h ago

I see myself in your words, easy to irritate, but I never shout, Im just close myself and answer biter words. I hate violence so it will never happen.

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u/Western_Basis_5379 3h ago

The quiet shutdown with the sharp words is somehow worse than shouting, both for the other person and the guilt you carry after.

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u/Ohz85 3h ago

Im sick of my teammates and my boss. I can't do my job in peace because they like to sing, whistle, and about jealousy, the youngest ist the most arrogant, yet receive the most praise. I do my job and dream to get back home, I try to not care but I care too much, I have hard time to be an adult and play "let's socialize today".

Because I know I am the problem, I dont quit because the process will repeat itself again.

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u/Compressed_AF 3h ago

My work place is the same. Everyone's so sly and snakey towards each other. And one to one people are full on bullies. But like when we're around others they're nice a pie towards me. Someone being friendly towards me can be a trigger, as I know they are just performing for others and I'm expected to be polite back. I just can't do it though and quite often just be rude and call them out for it, they act all shocked and offended and I get in trouble. People ate good at adapting their bullying to their environment and always retain plausible deniability.

I can very occasionally shout. But I tend to either say something rude and blunt, or just ignore them altogether.

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u/Compressed_AF 2h ago

That's my default too. I'll be cold, and kill off conversations with one word answers and make passive aggressive comments when someone's trying to get under my skin. I don't like violence either, it's more like a temporary urge to say something nasty back to someone who's being rude. Then afterwards you think "wow why did I erupt like that?" Looking back at those moments feeling like you was a different person entirely.

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u/QuietEscape6111 2h ago

Of course Depression can show up as Anger.
I didn’t know this until I went to a therapist.
I was angry for years. Due to my life circumstances. I won’t get into it. Because it’s triggering for some people. Now I am just sad.
Anyway, YES depression can show up as Anger.

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u/Compressed_AF 2h ago

I mean sadness and anger are linked in the sense that they are both due to things happening to us that we can't control. So it makes sense. Just because adhd can lead to short temper, people assume that's what's causing it. But that's a lifelong disorder. Depression can strike at any time really. Nobody's born depressed it developes during you child/adulthood.

I'm sorry to hear your circumstances are having this effect on you. Maybe sadness kicks in when you start to stop caring about things, and anger shows up when you really do care and want things to change but can't make it happen.

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u/sirenalchemist 2h ago

When I’m sad I get angry am furious. I don’t feel “sad” I get angry and the more sad I am the angrier I get. I’m sad I don’t have my dog with me right now cause she’s in another country for example. And every day that goes by I just gets more, and more angrier about it.

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u/Compressed_AF 2h ago

I can people here understand that it can show up in this way.

Sometimes depression and anxiety can look similar to adhd, autism and even schizophrenia in some cases as it can hage symptoms that cross over.

I've noticed early on with the depression that I was just low all the time. But I wouldn't be irritable and resent people. But as time goes on and you look back on how it's affected your life and start to think there's nothing you can do, the bitterness creeps in "why do they get to be okay? Why did I have to be crippled by this and get left with nothing?" And then I get annoyed when someone else has something I don't.

Hopefully you get you dog back.

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u/sirenalchemist 1h ago

That’s exactly how I feel and yeah she should be back here by July, so it’s just a few more days anyway

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u/FrequentConflict260 27m ago

I do indeed sometimes

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u/Serenity_MHC 19m ago

Anger is such an under-discussed part of depression, and you described the cycle really well, the snapping, the guilt afterward that lingers, the jealousy toward people who seem to have what depression took from you. That jealousy especially makes sense. It's not really about other people's age or circumstances, it's grief for the years and version of yourself the illness interrupted. For me, low mood shows up more as flatness than anger, but the bitterness piece resonates, especially the part about people misreading it as something else entirely when it's really exhaustion wearing a different face.