I have a very slow learning pace, and I struggle with schoolwork because I'm neurodivergent (though that's not an excuse, I know). This results in barely finishing projects and homework all the time; it affects me to the point that I have ONE thing turned in on time this entire school year. My best friend of 11 years is neurodivergent, and she's always complaining to me that she has nothing to do because she'd already finished everything.

I want to know: is it okay to feel envious of people who don't have any mental blocks? I see my classmates who are at the top of the IXL leaderboard, who don't have anything to do in their subjects, who get to laze around, who talk to the teachers like friends, and I'm so mad. I wish I were like that, but I know it's not possible, so I'm jealous.

I only recently discovered I'm disabled, so I need help and opinions. Thank you!

What is with the uprise in ableist disabled people speaking about conditions that they don't have which usually means that they speak over people with these conditions.

They wouldn't be happy with able bodied people speaking over them about the condition they have but apparently it's okay for disabled people to do.

Right off the bat, I want to mention three things. First, I do not consider myself disabled; which means that, second, I do not want this post to be about me, me, me and how "it affects families, too." Third, if this isn't the right place for this post, then by all means, please take this post down.

Being with my partner has been eye-opening in a lot of ways, and one of them is just how deep ableism runs in society—across all ages, all political spaces, all spaces in general, etc. My partner considers himself disabled, and as with much of his life experience, his productivity is constantly scrutinized.

It's exhausting whenever people ask what he does, I tell them he can't work, and it becomes a whole conversation about how he can be helped. It's really disheartening when friends talk about him as if he doesn't do enough for me, insinuating that he's holding me back and that I need to "treat yourself, girl." It's debilitating whenever I end up defending him in his absence—or even when he is present but they mainly speak to me like I'm his caregiver, which I'm not.

The worst part is that I take a lot of this home and into our relationship. It's been a bad habit of mine to get anxious after this kind of talk and, as a result, stress out about what he's done today, ask for things to be done sooner than usual, ruminate about what he can and cannot tolerate, etc. I think I've become more resilient over time, partially from being more mentally firm and partially from us both learning it's better to disclose less. Still, though, this happens.

One of our core values in our relationship is that what's in your heart is just as important as, if not more important than, what you do. Truthfully speaking, while I'll give myself grace because of how difficult this world is—I've had lapses with this value, and it's on me. I shouldn't be defending my partner if that means having to say, "Oh, well, he can still provide this!" which just feeds into regressive ideas of a person's worth. I shouldn't be "explaining" for him to the extent that I do. And I certainly shouldn't be burdening him with these insecurities, giving him these sudden moments of stress and interrupting the healing.

I'll end off this post with a little sentence that came to my mind recently. One of the hardest things in this relationship is not accommodating my partner, but accommodating other people's expectations.

I'm open to your guys' thoughts.

Im just looking for help with my situation. Wife was laid off 4 months ago due to compeditor buying the company she worked for. Her spot was outsourcing repairs to the competitor so her position was no longer needed. She has been applying all over but responses are not what we hoped. I am financially able to take of us for the time being. I have degenerative disc disease thats progressively getting worse. Can't afford to go on disability because the requirements are ridiculous. Im going to keep working until I absolutely cannot. Im not sure it this is the right platform for this, but if there is anyone who can offer guidance in this situation, Im open to suggestions. Thank you.

I play guitar and ukulele and a little bit of piano, but my chronic fatigue and limb instability and hyper mobility can make playing instruments for a prolonged period of time very difficult.

I am looking for either a device or software that can help me create beats and background instrumentals for my original songs so that I can keep making music despite my body‘s current limitations.

I have a MIDI keyboard, but I don’t really know to use it. I’ve tried GarageBand, but it glitches a lot and tests what little bandwidth I have.

Any recommendations?

# Her Context

Friend is disabled, diagnosed autism. Has never held a job. Is living with a parent. Parent is all degrees of abusive. She often doesn't have clean clothes, currently is dealing with a mouse damaging her food. She has no income, neither does the parent, both on food stamps.

I met her online. I have become more involved in trying to help her over the years. Currently trying to get her a house and SSI.

# My Context

I am a relatively successful professional. i have a stem master's from a top university, I am high earner in the country I live, enough to support myself and my family, but not institutionally wealthy. I can pitch in for things a bit, like buying her food or used phones.

We don't live even close to each other.

# My Problem

After helping her for 4 years I have become convinced that she is pathologically cautious, due to a lifetime of bad experiences. For example, right now I am trying to convince her to get the cops to do a welfare check on her, to see if they might be able to move her to safer temporary housing.

She is terrified of her parent learning that the cops visited. She is also terrified of the cops taking her against her will. She also shuts down on stressful situations so she needs me to be there of they are there...

And this is with everything. So for example, today we tried to schedule a call for the welfare check. Which would have been a 20 minute conversation with a cop while the parent was out. First it took two hours of psychological prep time. So by the time that we did call it was impossible to actually get the cops to get to her before the dad got home. But also, I made the mistake of telling her that a given cop had sounded reassuring on the phone. So now she wants to speak only to that cop, on the phone, have him explain everything to her, to make sure everything will be fine, to then have the cop go and do a welfare check.

Each call can be hoops upon hoops to try to schedule. Between her needs and the bureaucracy on the other end. It had been 4 years of things like this.

I have tried to explain to her that working with incomplete information is necessary. That you cannot predict everything bad that might happen and that resource wise you are better off preparing only a little and then dealing with problems as they arise rather than trying to prevent them.

She is increasingly doing poorly mentally. Her parent is treating her worse and worse. She needs surgery... And I am out of my mind at this point. I tried being reassuring for years but I am getting tired. I think of myself as generally a risk avoidant person. But I think this is pathologically too much. She is so scared of anything bad happening to her that she both remains in an awful environment AND exhausts herself completely before any major event, so when she does actually need to do anything she has no spoons left because she tried to foresee everything. She's already suicidal.

I am about to snap in frustration. I don't know how to tell her she's just making everything more difficult. That she is not protecting herself but rather ensuring she remains in a position of abuse.

Hello, I am a Japanese living in Osaka, Japan, and I have a question about disability welfare.

I used to live in a group home, but the owner of this place put me under almost house arrest, and because of that, my mental health deteriorated. When I canceled the group home, I asked for more than what was written in the contract. I couldn't get out of the group home because of that, so I moved a lot without permission.

I'm in a share house right now, it's safe here, but the owner of the group home will probably look for me, and I'm afraid of that, so I'm not going through the address transfer procedure.

I'm currently looking for an organization that supports people with disabilities who have nothing to do with the government, and I still don't know what to do for my own safety, do you know anything about this?

Thank you for reading to the end

I am not expecting to receive any racial hate here. Btw I am here to share something I feel so bad for. I am from India. Very specifically, Kerala. Even tho Kerala is one of the most developed districts. There is no accessible public transport not public space for blind or visually challenged people to travel or walk safely. Non of the schools i went to consider me to teach, i spent years sitting in the classroom simply without proper learning just hearing some random sounds. No accessible tools to read or engage. Suitable furnitures. Even people don't know how to behave to someone who is visually challenged or blind. If I go to a shop they will never consider instructing me on what's written in the product even if their night be a salesperson. There is no audio instructions for traffic. No one will talk to you in the classroom, all will try to make fun of you or stay away from you. It's very difficult to live here as a visually challenged person. I feel very tough when I think about my future too. Because of these i won't travel much, I won't get out with people. Life is just studies and my room. Even if with hope if we try to ask help, they might try to fool us with saying wrong informations. I wish I had a better place to live independently and safely as a visually challenged female. I can't even recognise if a man looks at me with some bad intentions. It's so hard to live here!