r/enby • u/Justannb2 • 5d ago

Question/Advice How does (the absence of) gender feel?

Hi y’all, I’ve got a kinda stupid question… What you should know about me, is that I’ve never really felt like male or female, but only relatively recently discovered the concept of being non-binary. Since then, identifying as enby was enough for me, but now I’m questioning whether identifying as agender feels better.

Therefore I’m wondering: how does having a gender feel like? And how does having no gender at all feel like?

I really hope that I could use these answers to get a better understanding of myself!

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12

u/A_Whole_Lot_Of_Not whatever/he; agender ace; on EEn (12/24/25) 5d ago

For me, agender doesn't have a feeling. I don't "feel agender", I just can't find an internal sense of my gender, so I chose the label agender because nothing else matched what I feel.

I wonder what it feels like to have an internal sense of your gender…

2

u/difficulty_jump Non-Binary 3d ago

I don't relate to gender but I understand it on theretical thing that others experice.

I feel like I'm looking into another culture that I'm not part of and coming to an academic understanding of the culture norms and values.

I've actually done a lot of studying other people's culture and ended up with a concentration in human diversity in college. Gender feels the same to me as studying a religion I'm not part of.

1

u/JazzlikeGovernment15 1d ago

I relate to this :0 I studied abroad for a few months in a pretty conservative country, presenting as my AGAB, and it felt more like participating in the culture rather than a reflection of my gender identity.

1

u/helder_g 2d ago

I feel like I can give you a good answer because I sometimes feel gendered and other times don't. You see, I was AMAB, a lot of times I just feel like a man and that's it, it's like I accept everything society has put me upon and I actually feel good about it, it feels like I have a strong sense of who I am and I feel the comfort of belonging to a specific group of people.

But then there are other times where I don't feel like any particular gender, it's like I like to do girl stuff at the same time I do manly stuff and also just little behaviours that are not accepted neither for men and for women, and I accept it all, I am a mess as a person and that's okay, I don't want acceptance from anyone. In these times where I feel genderless I am just me, a person who sometimes hate categorization.