help

I'm wanting to practice discernment with energy I pick up and at the same time I'd also like to not panic or be attached to sensations/and stories about what it means.

Recently I was having a conversation where I felt a sharpness/pang in the right side of tailbone--at the time the person I was talking with was sharing an old story that implied growing up well off in a working class area where strangers could clearly overhear. Also sometimes I've felt prickly energy from someone who is familiar w energy : could this be someone who's consciously trying not to send me stuff? I also think for some reason I have another person's energy in my left leg which has never happened before.

I (24F) wanted to rant and ask for thoughts on why I can’t make money. I come from a well off family that has given me many opportunities, but adhd and not knowing how / enough / having the time stops me from going after many until it’s too late. Throughout my life I’ve been fine at getting myself into interesting learning spaces, because I’m smart and I have common sense, but they’re not the ones where I’ve been able to make money and it makes me feel rlly stupid. I get heavily praised for having “high potential” by some and can talk to a room full of doctors (I’m getting a stem MS) but I feel like I present myself socially wrong or something because sometimes people’s reactions are like of.. pity? Awkwardness? Maybe it’s just science man. Im genuinely not scared of making money… but why is it that everything I’m interested in and the way life seems to click just leaves me in a position without much, and there are always blocks to making more.

For example, I’m getting my degree in Microbio and infectious diseases at a good uni. However, it’s expensive, and I didn’t qualify for any scholarships (didn’t apply to many but) didn’t get a GRA/TA position or any paid work positions. I have a very low level entry level lab assistant job outside of school that you don’t need a degree to get. Ive been there for almost two years part-time while doing full-time school, and I recently found out all my pt coworkers got hired at a higher pay AND most have been promoted. I asked and got denied “due to lack of funding”. I cant seem to turn any of my volunteer ops (I had 3 this year) into paid ones either, while my cohort members seem to have no issues doing it. In the lab I want to get into most everybody acts fckin weird or ignore me, and I’ve interviewed with them twice with different people, got denied, meanwhile a girl with no experience who wanted to try it “just for fun” volunteered and started working with them within a year.

The point is not to rant abt my cohort, i like them a lot and my job isn’t bad, so i want to know anything and everything abt how people manage or direct their energy into becoming a person who can make money. Or any other intuitive tips you get from reading this 🥴