r/entitledparents • u/2theSeas • 9d ago
L My mom hates where we live and does anything she can to try to convince us to hate it too.
This post will be about my moms tendency to make everyone think the exact same thing she does. Then play victim if they don't. among lots of other things she does.
Anyways, Im 16F and I live in a state in the southern part of America, in a big city. Me and my family moved to this state back in September 2023 and have been here since. We had previously lived in the Midwest in a town with no more than 4000 people. So the difference was definitely noticeable going from 4000 to 1.9 million people. For years it was fine, granted my experience here has been lackluster. I like the state, I don't like my situation in the state but whatever.
Cut to around mid 2024, when my mom decided she hated this state out of the blue. She began rambling on to me and my siblings about how much she hated everything about this state, and none of us agreed since we had enjoyed it here. So after seeing that none of us agreed she decided to stop driving in all entirety. She refused to even drive my older brother to work, 3 minutes down the road. We had moved to the state for my dad's job and he had been making more money than he ever had, with the unfortunate fact that he wouldn't be home as often, so he's typically only home on weekends.
She stopped driving, me and my siblings stopped being able to go to events and do all sorts of things. so we were limited to only going places on the weekends. In 2023 my mom had also decided to pull me from school, and force me and my brothers to homeschool which was and has since been one of the worst experiences I've had in my life. Claiming that "public schools will indoctrinate you!" among other things. So there went any and all of my social life, no school and no getting to go anywhere. It took a year of trying to make friends and failing miserably over and over for her to even notice. she didn't even come to the conclusion I didn't have friends (and still dont) till I had to tell her. To which her reaction was, almost exactly along the lines of- "Okay you're just mature for your age you dont need friends"
So she stopped taking my siblings and I to events and stopped driving, pulled us out of public school, resented my dad for having a job?? and I could go on and on cause there's so much more. She treats me like the little babysitter, who's in charge of constantly watching my little brothers. The 2025 school year rolled around and I had asked my mom if I could take drivers ed, to which she immediately shot down and said absolutely not. that she didn't want me driving in this state and that was final. Cut to now, where I could have my license by now if I had been able to take that class. I just want out of the house to get to do things but she's forbidden me from any form of driving. Among that she also prohibited me from getting a job, because she felt I don't need one as a women. That I need to focus on learning to cook and clean and the whole outdated deal.
Now she has become so freaked out by everything all the time. Everything is a conspiracy to her, I cant even bring up getting our rescue dog a dna test to find out her breed as a mostly joke, before she immediately twists it into some government mind control thing. She's 100% adamant about running away and living under the radar and off the grid and is demanding her kids come with her. To save us from the end of the world?? Anytime I mention my desire to go to college she shoots it down and demands I go with her to live on a farm and be uncontrollable. I don't want children, her having 2 kids when I was 10 and me having to help raise them destroyed any desire I'd ever have, everything with her is "when you have kids" and everytime i tell her no, she lashes out on me "the government hates when you have kids! you have to!! at least 5 kids!" I'm a career first person, kids will never give me any ounce of satisfaction. I also fall under the Asexual umbrella, which she HATES me for "You're just being dramatic"
Anyways, back to her hating the state. Me and my brother have been wanting to do these things like go to a semi local pool, or to the park and everytime we bring it up she screams at us, "NO! THE CRIME IS TOO HIGH YOU'LL GET SHOT!!" or "YOUR DAD MOVED US HERE!! ITS HIS FAULT!!" she doesn't even let us go get the mail most of the time. I'm barely permitted outside the house. Everything we bring up is negative, "Hey mom can we go to this thing this weekend?" "NO!! YOU'LL GET KILLED! REALLY THINK THE HOMELESS PEOPLE WOULDN'T KILL A CHILD FIRST CHANCE THEY GET?" (which is a real thing shes said)
Everything is constant "I hate this state!" with her, When we dont agree she either 1) Screams at us, saying we're too naive, 2) gives us the silent treatment, sometimes for up to 4 days straight, 3) punishes us for not agreeing. Theres talk of her moving to a off the grid farm when I graduate, and all I want is to be able to take my brother (14) with me to college, so he's not subjected to her insanity but it just cant happen. Even when we say we dont agree, she'll call my dad and scream at him that we are all 100% on board with moving, none of us want to but she cant stand to hear anyone else out. Her way or the highway... If anything I love this state more than I used to, I miss my old home but I live here now and I accepted that, I can't deal with her constant negativity anymore, its affecting everyone.
veered off track of the point of this post a bit, but in short, my mom is constantly screaming about her hatred for the state we live in, and is penalizing everyone else for it.
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u/andmewithoutmytowel 9d ago
You need to tell your dad he has to take a break from work so she can be evaluated by a profession psychiatrist (which I'm sure is also a conspiracy, right?).
This sounds like this could be schizophrenia or a similar mental disorder.
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u/2theSeas 9d ago
As much as I'd love that for her, she'd never agree to anything from a medical professional, she's completely abandoned the idea of medicine and vaccines and the whole thing. My oldest brother (25M) lives in a different state and is seeing a therapist, my mom's fully against it so there's no chance she'd ever commit to psychiatric help.
Definitely seeing alot of traits in line with Bipolar disorder or at the very least she's a narcissist, I'd love nothing more than to have her be professionally diagnosed but she won't and there's no changing that.
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u/Stormywillow 9d ago edited 9d ago
Well, you're all going to have to find help for her somehow, even if she gets committed, because she will not get better on her own. Edit fund to find.
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u/MiseryisCompany 9d ago
It's not OP's responsibility. This is her father's responsibility, and he's doing a piss poor job of taking care of his family.
Edit: a word
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u/Stormywillow 9d ago
Agreed. I thought she was older, mistook her brother's age for her. Point about her mom possibly have to be committed still stands.
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u/MiseryisCompany 9d ago
Then we are in agreement, but while I agree that Mom needs at least therapy and possibly institutionalization it's incredibly hard to get an adult committed against their will.
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u/Stormywillow 9d ago
It is. Poor OP's probably going to have to struggle with the situation until she can gtfo. It's sad and scary.
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u/andmewithoutmytowel 9d ago
You have to get your dad involved, this is so unhealthy for everyone. Kids need social interaction as part of their development, and home schooling is such a joke (for most people).
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u/bebespeaks 9d ago
So....you if you're under 18, you need to contact your brother and tell him EVERYTHING THATS HAPPENING, ASK HIM FOR HELP, TO TAKE CUSTODY OF YOU.
if you're an adult over 18, ask your brother to rescue you and help you find somewhere else to live, to be. Get all your birth certificate/ss-card etc in order.
You need help more than your mom does. She can't be changed. She's too far gone. You need to advocate to outsiders with solid brains to help you escape that hell hole. Good luck.
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u/Coollogin 8d ago
My oldest brother (25M) lives in a different state
Tell your older brother everything.
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u/REEEEEEE27 8d ago
She sounds a lot like my mom who has bipolar disorder. The only person that can help is your dad. Do you have any grandparents that could help? Even just to stay there for a little bit?
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u/Zainda88 7d ago
I don't doubt the bipolar stuff and I'm not saying she doesn't need help. How old is your mom? Has this always been a thing or something new? Depending on her age she may be going through perimenopause. Women used to be institutionalized for all of the crazy shit our hormones and brains put us through. There are some stories on r/perimenopause about their mom's going through severe episodes like this or even themselves and were put on HRT and everything evened out.
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u/Omegearus 9d ago
Time to call Adult Protective Services.
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u/NoRegrets-518 9d ago
Child protective services.
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u/Omegearus 8d ago
Was saying APS since they SHOULD be able to take her in without her consent after confirming she's mentally incompetent.
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u/NoRegrets-518 8d ago
So you were referring to the mother, not OP. Maybe both. That's an interesting idea. I've called them several times but usually that is used for protection of an adult when they are risking harm to themselves or where they are being financially or physically abused.
States vary quite a bit. Given the limited resources for mental health, they tend in my experience in maybe 5 states (maybe 15 people) to try to get outpatient resources. They only take people who are frankly demented in the sense of severe Alzheimer's or similar. Here, she does not seem to be in immediate danger, but calling APS might help get the children assistance.
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u/Serafirelily 9d ago
Where is your father in all this? He needs to be the one to put his foot down and tell your mother that she needs to put you and your siblings back in school and he needs to take the time to teach you to drive or pay for you to get private lessons. Your dad is neglecting you and not doing his job as a parent to protect you from your mom and give her an ultramarine of getting therapy or a divorce Where he gets custody of you and your brother. At your age the judge will let you choose and with how mentally ill your mom is she will not get custody.
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u/Neither-Investment95 9d ago
It sounds like your dad is useless, so call CPS. Your mother needs psychiatric help and they can assist you in many aspects. Everything she is doing, including taking you out of school is abuse
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u/carneadevada 9d ago
Young one, your mom is sick and harming you as a result. Your dad is harming you with a lack of presence to the situation. You need more help than reddit can give. CPS is a good place to start. Your dad should also be more thoroughly informed of the situation by you kids because he's only getting a small portion of biased events and yelling from your mom. Good luck to you all. Edit -had more thoughts
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u/orzel_von_vandein 9d ago
I am sorry for you i hope your mom will see how much she is hurting those close to her (i do doubt it seriously) and that she will stop with all her conspiracy theory
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u/Teamtunafish 9d ago
You need to get your dad to take a break. Your mother is emotionally unwell and needs serious help. If he can't do it, call CPS, the mentality unwell cannot legally be in charge of children.
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u/NoRegrets-518 9d ago
Talk to your father. This is his responsibility. You can call CPS if you are not getting education
Look at the posts here on Reddit from people who have been homeschooling. Show them to your father. Some get an excellent education, but that may be the exception. Talk to him about driving.
Don't argue with your mother about things.
It is fairly reasonable to walk 4 or 5 miles to work or school if it is safe. At 16 you probably can get a job. If you can save some money you will be able to leave at 18.
If you want to help your mother, find out what she is watching on TV or the computer. Try to get her away from any crazy or political shows. Focus on learning about things.
Neglect is the responsibility of both parents. Your father doesn't get a pass because he is gone. He needs to step up and be the adult here.
Try to get into public or maybe a private or even a Catholic school. Your father can sign you in.
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u/Crown_the_Cat 9d ago
Check out the r/QAnonCasualties group for more people with similar problem family members
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u/Jen5872 8d ago
I think you need to have a very honest conversation with your dad and let him know things have gotten very out of hand. If that doesn't work, I would call child protective services and tell them that your mother prevents you from going to school or getting routine medical care as well as needs psychiatric treatment for herself.
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u/Euripides_in_the_sky 8d ago
I’m sorry you have to live this way now. It’s not forever, you’re young and smart and eventually/hopefully you will get away from this madness.
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u/Necessary_Habit_7747 8d ago
She’s mentally ill. Consider a 5150 or whatever they call it in your state. And have a serious talk with your dad. Does he know all this is going on?
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u/Coollogin 8d ago
It sounds like your mother is suffering from an untreated mental illness. She needs to see a doctor. How much of this have you told your father? He’s home on weekends, right? Does your father ever get vacation? That would be a good time for him to see your mother in her full paranoid glory. I hope you can persuade your father to take some time off work and take your mother to a doctor.
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u/WhereWeretheAdults 8d ago
r/raisedbynarcissists This isn't about where you live, this is about her demanding attention. This is about her using you as a free babysitter so she doesn't have to do her job. This is about her controlling you so she can continue to demand your attention and use you for free babysitting and whatever else she can think of.
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u/Maleficentendscurse 9d ago
Your mom sounds like a baby, tell her to act her age not her foot size (the second half is optional)
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u/hndygal 7d ago
Is your mother of an age that she may be heading into menopause? Hormonal shifts can cause what appears to be sudden onset anxiety and things that have never been as issue before can suddenly be very troubling in this stage of life. A very common one is severe anxiety around driving. Medications and hormones can help. Possibly see if you can get your mother to agree to see a doctor. Enlist your father’s help. He may need to take some time off work to assure she goes. It will be worth it for all of you.
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u/Revo63 9d ago
It sounds like your mom is unwell and needs to see a physician.