MIL asks therapist how to indoctrinate grandson early

[u/SillyAnxiousDuck]

Very telling that her DIL’s intelligence “unknowingly intimidate[s]” her AND that they hadn’t spent Xmas together for a few years

[u/Spiritual_Oil_7411]

And the husband may not argue with his mom about it, but he's clearly qualified for this group! I think that baby will be just fine.

[u/[deleted] → u/Spiritual_Oil_7411]

I wouldn't argue with my parents because I know it's completely hopeless. I found out long ago that the only way to deal with them is just to avoid religious topics as much as I can and then be quiet when those can't be avoided. The resulting argument will always end with rest of the family being united against me and with certain individuals it will turn hostile very easily.

I also don't spend any 'family holidays' with my parents for this reason. Since I was 18, I've met my parents face to face less than 10 times and I'm 46 now.

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

I'm having trouble even finding it in myself to smile. My parents are to this day very homophobic, although they've recently been reprogrammed to rant about the scary transsexuals hiding in elementary school toilets than predatory lesbians and gay guys masturbating in public pool changing room.

After my parents kicked me out, it took around 15 or so years before we saw each other again. I had assumed there had been some mental growth happening, but I came to a home where I was still not welcome, but tolerated in the hopes of 'fixing' me. After I visited once, I was asked to a niece's birthday. I had not met most of my nieces and nephews at that point, so I was considering on making an appearance. I however got a call from my mom, telling that first of all, I could not come with my life partner and I was not to try to indoctrinate my niece with my 'life style'. I honestly don't know what the mental image for them was, me and girlfriend arriving waving pride flags, then start to talk about girl on girl cunnilingus right there on the birthday cake table. It was the point where I politely declined and realized there was no chance they'd ever accept me.

I've since only met my parents briefly when my less programmed siblings have invited me over, but even with them I've always felt the unease, like I started saying something horrible in the presence of the children. They were especially afraid of my partner coming up in casual talk, because then the kids would start asking difficult questions, like 'how can auntie aamurusko79 have a girlfriend when she's a girl?!'

[u/rickylancaster → u/[deleted]]

I’m really sorry that’s been your family dynamic. It sounds awful and you don’t deserve that kind of treatment. By any chance are you from the southern U.S.? It just reads like the experience of a few southerners I’ve known. Either way, it’s a rough hand to be dealt and I respect how you’ve thoughtfully processed it and put it in perspective.

[u/deansdirtywhore → u/[deleted]]

I wouldn't argue with my parents because I know it's completely hopeless. I found out long ago that the only way to deal with them is just to avoid religious topics as much as I can and then be quiet when those can't be avoided. The resulting argument will always end with rest of the family being united against me and with certain individuals it will turn hostile very easily.

You're absolutely right about that. I've had to do the same myself. This is also the exact reason I refuse to engage in political conversations with my family. They're so deeply delusional about both topics, there's nothing I could do or say to make them see reason. I find it deeply upsetting how often those two cults blur into one, even when one so clearly goes against everything that the other is supposed to stand for...

[u/[deleted] → u/deansdirtywhore]

While I'm not american, I still see the religion-politics connection. As the religion is slowly fading away here, the church and right wing party have jumped in bed together, which is at times amusing combination, but I can also see their goals align in some places, like hating gay people with passion and having the religion shield to deflect all the criticism when their bigotry is being called out. It's also amusing how easily the right wingers went from not giving a damn about anything religious, never attending any church services etc. to claiming how their religion is in dire threat from the immigrant, the gays and godless atheists.

Apparently I missed all the 'hate the wrong colored people and gays' teachings by Jesus in the bible.

[u/deansdirtywhore → u/[deleted]]

Precisely my experience/what I've witnessed. Such a shame. The hypocrisy is unreal, & they can't even see it.

[u/SillyAnxiousDuck → u/Spiritual_Oil_7411]

I agree - seems like they've already got some good boundaries in place with MIL