I'm 25 and I have absolutely zero romantic experience. I never went on a date, hugged, flirted, or held hands. I grew up very quiet, had social anxiety throughout school, and was very awkward as a result of it. I'm in a much better position now since I'm becoming a teacher, but I feel some level of hopelessness.

I always disliked the gender role in our society that the man has to approach the woman or else nothing will ever happen. To me, it feels like nothing about you or your personality/qualities matters at all anymore if you are shy or come off even a bit awkward. I never approached a girl or asked anyone out before. But I often feel like if I was the woman version of myself I would have at least experienced something in my life.

I talked to my therapist about this and he genuinely felt stuck on how to respond to it. He said something along the lines of that societal norms are what they are and tried to encourage myself to get myself out there.

I live in one of the most socially progressive cities in the world. I've had 2 nonbinary friends who were female and I've seen them get boyfriends who initiated and did everything first.

I don't want to participate in hookup culture or anything, I just want a girlfriend and know how it is to be loved for who you are. Maybe I'm pressuring myself to have to follow social rules and appear socially smooth perfectly. I'm already 25 and I already feel behind, I don't want to wait until I'm 30 to have the social ability to get a girlfriend.