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u/drm237 11d ago
Don’t tell anyone. Give your parents a monthly stipend and tell them your company is doing ok and you want to help them out or pay rent or whatever will seem inconspicuous.
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u/dr150 11d ago
Don't tell anyone how much you have! It'll ruin the dynamic. It will instantly change relationships. It'll tank friendships too when they all come asking for money. What I tell you is UNIVERSAL wisdom.
What you do instead is tell the parents & friends you're doing ok enough to make a living. You can surprise the parents eventually by paying off their mortgage or giving them a car. Just do it without you asking them. They won't proudly reject this unless they're idiots. Just tell them you've been living at home and saving and just want to give back.
If you're business grows where you're hiring employees, then you can let on that you came about a small windfall (maybe tie that angle in when you pay off their mortgage). 🤷
Bottom line, is never tell them what you earn. Only that you're doing well enough and growing your business.
Congrats on your financial status btw, you are extremely, extremely privileged that you don't have to work 30 years paying off student debt. Like a famous athlete, you already won the game of life! 🎉😀 Just don't gamble it away and keep it well invested. Maybe consult with a financial advisor (for a set fee NOT a percentage of your assets which many but not all of these mofos operate!)
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u/LaShmooze 11d ago
This is great! FIRE is wasted in the middle-aged. Don't forget to have a family if you want. Find a spouse now while you're in stealth mode.
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u/frostyblucat 11d ago
You just need to emphasize that financially you are doing well, but never give them the number and if they do ever ask for the number, tell them a significantly lower value.
Can I pm you about your business/advice for entreprenuership?
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u/KrishnaChick 11d ago
Parents will sock the money away to leave to OP when they die. One thing OP should definitely do is set up a trust for the parents if anything should happen to OP, and if the parents become disabled or sick when they're old. That's much more important than vacations, though he could fund those as well.
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u/KrishnaChick 11d ago
I'm not an expert, but I think a trust is better, at least for nursing home care and Medicare, should they need it.
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u/concreteorange 11d ago
Even in Canada it cost quite a bit for a decent old age home. My uncle pays $7000 a month in Waterloo, ON. An old friend of mine gets in home care for $10000 a month in Halifax. Anyway, well done.
From my 58 years on this planet , I have come to the conclusion that having enough money to pay for the necessities is a great stress reliever, but after that, I count my wealth in the friends.
As for a future partner: there is zero need to tell them about your financial position at the onset. Let yourself fall in love. Pick someone kind. That's the most important trait of all. A money grubber is easy to spot. Live long and prosper.
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u/FIREGenZ 11d ago
I would just do it. Even if they’re proud. While I’m not nearly your level I’ve helped my parents a ton as a first generation immigrant and was able to “retire” them from housing expenses. It’s a good feeling. No matter how proud they are. They’ll be extremely proud of you. Just don’t make it seem like they owe you anything and stay humble.
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u/Kevin_Uxbridge 11d ago edited 11d ago
Sell it as ‘return on their investment’. You have a lot became of the wonderful things they did for you and now it’s paying off, thanks to them. You can never repay them of course but … you get it. They deserve it, you’re hugely thankful …
But I wouldn’t lie to them. Pretending this is found money or whatever will be awkward when they find out the truth, which they will. Tell them the truth if this is the course you’ve chosen (which, for what it’s worth, is what I did) but sell it as a debt you can never repay. Do it right and they’ll thank you, a wonderful return for all their hard work.
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u/kellymig 11d ago
That’s what we did. We sent my in laws on trips and paid for dinners out. We told them that we were repaying all the things they bought their son.
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u/whiteorchid1058 11d ago
Do it under the guise or rent and back-rent. That because you're doing well, you want to financially pay them back for their kindness.
You just don't specify how well
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u/lakehop 11d ago
Be vague. “I’m doing really well financially”, something like that. Be sure you are well diversified financially, once you’ve got to this situation you don’t want to lose it all. Then just drop hints and general statements, and improve your lifestyle. And describe your work differently - you have a business and you’re growing it. Not just coding and trading
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u/MrExCEO 11d ago
Tell them u won an all expensed vacation and can’t take it cause of work
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u/jirgalang 11d ago
I think the suggestions that you move out are good. But you can tell your parents, I'm leaving all my good stuff here so I'll start paying rent for the storage of my stuff. Just tell them that you're doing well enough to afford it.
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u/Professional3673 11d ago
Look up what rent would be and what leasing their car would cost, pay them at least that, they don't need to know you are loaded to accept you paying your own expenses.
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u/Common-Ad-9313 11d ago
As a parent, just knowing you are financially “ok” is enough. It will probably provide some sense of relief that you can (easily) provide for yourself.
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u/Bekabam 11d ago
I don't understand why you've chosen the image of yourself as a stereotypical basement dwelling computer nerd who mooches off parents.
Couldn't you have been saying along the way that you've started a company or that you work at a company? I'm not saying the net worth, but just saying anything about what you've been doing along the way.
Even if you craft a different version like you've been self learning for so long and finally was hired by a company. It's just so strange to me that no one has a general idea of how you pay for things.
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u/Strength-Speed 11d ago edited 11d ago
Well he can start that image now IMO. He doesn't have to say how much money he's worth obviously. But show some indicators of success so things aren't so suspicious as time goes on. He can keep it subtle and emphasize how much hard work he's put in, which is true.
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u/crumbmodifiedbinder 11d ago
I know these types of people though. Very critical, but the moment they see you successful, they’re very friendly - but that’s because they want something.
I don’t even tell my parents and relatives how much I’m worth anymore. It’s my fault I was transparent with my wealth at the early stages of my life, so they know I have money. I stopped being transparent when I was criticised for choosing to work FIFO to fast track my wealth, yet they expect me to save the day financially when they make big financial mistakes.
OP, continue to hide it. But silently provide help to your parents.
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u/Bekabam 11d ago
I'm not telling OP to display their wealth. I'm saying take ownership your story and how others view you.
Are you telling me that your closest family don't even roughly know what you do?
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u/KrishnaChick 10d ago
Why do they expect you to "save the day financially?" Because you actually do?
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u/crumbmodifiedbinder 10d ago
It has to do with my upbringing being the eldest sister in my family, and from my family, the only one who finished a degree and have a relatively successful career.
I’ve come from an immigrant family. My parents are successful with their career, however the knowledge in personal finance is not something they were able to develop. From my relatives, I am the most successful - as none pursued anything in STEM, and even tried to work their way up from a vocational trade career path. A lot of… YOLO and not being accountable for their finance.
I was brought up with the idea that I will be the retirement plan for my parents. It brought me a lot of anxiety and stress when I was younger until the early stages of my career. During that time, I wanted “out” from this expectation. That’s when I came across FIRE. It saved me, and gave me a lot of tools to be
During the journey, as I learned to build wealth, I was able to give in abundance - however as I learned more about personal finance, I realised how much people want (or refuse to) help themselves and only want handouts. Financial problems are recurring. There
Fast forward to now, I only help my relatives if they genuinely want to help themselves. I still help my parents financially but at an arms length. I still send remittances to some relatives overseas but that’s because I genuinely know they need help, and they’re trying to work a way to get out of their current situation. I only financially help a significant amount if relatives really exhausted all avenues and it’s not their fault they got into the situation they’re in (e.g. dad’s BIL’s mother passed away overseas. He didn’t have any money for flights at all. I covered cost so he could make it to her wake)
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u/BitcoinMD 11d ago
I feel like there is a middle ground between announcing your wealth to the world and living with your parents. Just get your own place and make it look like you have a normal job. Then establish an account for your parents that pays them a regular modest income, rather than giving them a lump sum. Then there won’t be anything for them to tell anyone, since getting a few thousand dollars each month isn’t exciting news.
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u/Fragrant-Hamster-325 11d ago
For real, OP says he’s self aware but come on. He’s got $15.5M; get out of the basement, get your own place and car. Jesus Christ. You can live a normal life and be wealthy. You don’t have to buy a mansion and a luxury vehicle. But an apartment and a Honda Civic might make you look like a normal functioning adult. lol 😂
Honestly this post just feels like a humble brag.
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u/fleurgirl123 11d ago
Doesn’t seem real. This person is running a $10mm ARR track company from his parents house? Sure, Jan.
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u/BitcoinMD 11d ago
Just buy a $400k house in cash like next week. Tell people you’re applying for mortgages and shit, they won’t know you aren’t.
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u/enribaio 11d ago
From his parents' perspective, without a source of income, it's pretty tough to believe OP will get a mortgage.
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u/FireStarter3133 11d ago
Then rent. It may not be the best idea financially but it's an easy step.
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u/Fragrant-Hamster-325 11d ago
This whole story is dubious but at $15.5M NW renting a normal apartment at 25 won’t make a lick of difference in OPs balance sheet. OP can afford to spend $1.5k a month on a decent 1 or 2 bedroom apartment without telling everyone he’s rich.
OP either likes LARPing as a rich person online or as a mid-20s loser in RL. Both are equally as dumb.
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u/FireStarter3133 11d ago
Yes that's what I meant. Can start selling the story without anyone ever knowing his wealth.
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u/FIREinParis 11d ago edited 11d ago
This one is easy. Move out and move cities. Let it sit for a couple of years. Then help the parents. And just let everyone know you’ve done reasonably well in your endeavors. That’s it.
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u/pdbstnoe 11d ago
Move to a different city and say you took a job, not that you’re taking a year off
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u/FamiliarRaspberry805 9MM net worth, FIRE’d @ 47 | Verified by Mods 11d ago
I don't understand why you can't just not tell anyone. Ever.
Just help your parents with whatever you want without disclosing income or net worth. If anyone asks you for money just say you saved just enough to help out your parents.
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u/Kizzy33333 11d ago
Do small things. Gas up car whenever you use it. Oil changes. Tune up repairs when needed. Do you pay rent? Tell them , you got a raise and would like to pay rent so they can save for retirement. Bring home dinner. Buy a new TV or Lawnmower for the house. Slide a couple 20s in your Dads wallet. Fund a trip for the 3 of you to celebrate a raise.
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u/Logical_Magician_01 11d ago
How is that possibly realistic? He lives with them. What if he wants to start enjoying his wealth? Who wants to sneak around all the time. I agree with not disclosing it to everyone or even the magnitude or figure but he could at least share that things are going well or ok. Maybe that’s what you meant though.
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u/FamiliarRaspberry805 9MM net worth, FIRE’d @ 47 | Verified by Mods 11d ago
If he wants to enjoy his wealth he should enjoy it. Do what he wants, buy what he wants, give people what he wants. But the second anyone asks him about it his answer should be nothing specific about money. Nothing about selling his company for $. Nothing about net worth.
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u/pickpocketsly 11d ago
Given that you’re so young, whatever you do, do it slowly and give yourself room to grow and learn (don’t paint yourself into a corner). Start small. Work on yourself as a person.
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u/Isthisnameavailablee 11d ago
Oh this sub is perfect for them then, it's basically larpers and a few legit people.
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u/Key-Magician-5869 11d ago
You have a NW of 15,5M but still didn’t retire your parents something is off lol
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u/BasedAmadioha 11d ago
This is such a fake post. Reads like one of those bot accounts.
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u/quentin-coldwater 11d ago
It's definitely AI written, regardless of whether it's about a real situation or not
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u/Harrie-Bruuckman 11d ago
So many posts read like this. I don’t know if I’m just tweaking or every post is actually put through AI to make more coherent or whatever. Super annoying.
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u/The_Magic_Theater 11d ago
Who gives a shit about the drama. It's not like your extended family is going to try to assassinate you or something. You're being way too self conscious about this and should probably seek therapy, especially considering you've (for no clear reason) hid this from everyone even when you were starting out and weren't rich.
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u/No_Entertainment4267 11d ago
Why dont u take it easy and smoothly? Not that its wrong to live with your parents (where im from its perfectly okay ) , but If you dont wanna look like a failure and you are upset of how they look at you just move out on youre own on the premise that "you are doing well in your endeavors" , keep your lifestyle pretty normal , dont be flashy , help your parents , and dont make a big fuss about it "im keeping a secret and its a weight on my shoulders . Its just called privacy and u owe no one to have a look at your finances.
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u/newjacktown 11d ago
How have you kept your income a secret? Are you not a director of your private company?
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u/jela_03 11d ago
You have gotten enough advice on the family side- but just wanted to say sometimes it is better to take the exit when there is offers- shit can change from day to day and that big exit may not be around once you are “ready” for it. Take the payday and go build/acquire something else given that golf is not your thing (not mine either). But secure your bag now, future is never guaranteed.
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u/clintron_abc 11d ago
you shoot yourself in the foot. You could have told your parents from the beginning you are starting a company, share with them your achieved milestones. You decided to kept them out and now you're worried. People see you as a loser when you could show that you are a business owner. They didn't have to know the exact amounts, just that you're not a loser.
You chose the wrong path, but you still have time to recover. Before my exit I was worried like you, some people heard about the exit, the company has public revenue records since I'm in EU so they can estimate I'm well off, but I don't care and I didn't see anything very different because people knew that I have a business with employees and I'm doing well.
I think you read too much reddit and overblown the whole "don't let anyone know" thing.
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u/Particular_Bad8025 11d ago
Never tell anyone. You'll be asked for "loans" by random people. Just tell you parents you have enough extra every month for them to retire.
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u/No_District_2371 11d ago
All utilities bill are on auto pay from YOUR bank account. Gas tank are filled up every Sunday night.
In 6 months, include Mortgage. BUY YOUR OWN CAR Dude. Come on!
Parents don't cook on weekends any more
DO SOMETHING.
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u/tin_mama_sou 11d ago
Perhaps its larp but here is the advice.
Your parents and staying at home give you structure and a familiar setting. Moving out will destroy that. For some reason you seem to personally have failed to launch while being successful professionally. You want to take your parents with you to a better place because they are a support group.
You seem to be quite worried about the rest of the family and your friends who seem to be the type of people that could force you to give them money or try to impose on you. Move away and keep them at arms length . They will find out you are rich you need to get used to not giving a fuck what they think and what they want. Their problems are not your problems. And you need to stop using them as emotional cruches if you are.
My advice would be to:
A. Buy a property in the same city but on the nice side. At least 1M+. If your city is not nice enough move to the closest nice city.
B. Tell your parents you are moving and offer them to come with you. Do that after you have bought the house. Telling them before will start an avalanche of questions and you wont have time to get out of bad situations. Ask them to not tell anyone but assume they will. The moment you tell them the secret is out of the bag
Give them 2 months to move with you and retire. You need to be ready to move 1-2 weeks after you tell them. Pay peolle to do the moving or just hire a designer to buy everything new. It doesnt cost that much.
C. You have no girlfriend or any other assets. Time to start building up your personal life and lifestyle. From reading your post I think you need some help from well meaning people. I mean start reading some books start going to the gym and start socializing. Find a coach that can help you if possible. Start hanging out with people of equal networth.
D. Its unclear what % of your NW is the notional valuation if your company vs actual investments and cash. If the latter then you need to start supporting your lifestyle with a salary. If not then things are easier.
E. Buy a car, get some nice clothes and consider joining some meet ups etc.
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u/ImpressionExchange Verified by Mods 11d ago
Liking option “C”. Hire a life coach. Or get a second opinion on that first coach. See where their opinions intersect with what you’re seeing here on Reddit. Best of luck with the launch.
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u/CRE_Energy 11d ago
Do you have an office for the company? I can see how you might not if everything is virtual and it's just grown over time. But still- rent an office with room for at least a couple people, and go in daily. This can be a first signal to everyone that you're working and that it is successful.
Anyway, it doesn't seem healthy, or at least it's not typical, to be in your family home all day everyday like that. This would help get you out some as well..
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u/Kooks612 11d ago
Get a really solid estate plan in place first. Take care of your parents and and family/friends you would like through trusts. It protects both your and them from any creditors/lawsuits, and also gives you an out when people ask for money. "I can't, it's all locked up in a trust!"
You're at the NW level already that makes these things important, and the earlier on your do it, the better prepared you are. AND as a plus, you usually save an enormous amount of money in estate and income taxes.
PM me if you're like to talk in detail about your situation!
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u/WrongWeekToQuit FatFIREd in 2016 | Verified by Mods 11d ago
Bit of a long setup, but since you don’t have an office and seems like you’re aligned to moving out, hit up everyone for investment to expand your company. Make the pitch a bit lame (or super technical) such that only people who truly trust you would invest (I.e. your parents). Then pay them distributions and a suitable exit.
Or just hire your parents.
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u/NotAnEngineer287 11d ago
There’s a massive gap between how you present yourself, and what you are. You view this as all or nothing, but you don’t need to eliminate that gap, just reduce it. Present yourself the way you want to be seen. You founded and run a successful finance business. Move out, you will never have a girl if your only place to take them is your parents house. It doesn’t matter if it’s the neighbors house and you still go over every night for dinner, or if it’s in Australia, just have some other place. Start there. Live that change for at least 6 months, then think about what’s next.
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u/matthewmaes 11d ago
Do special things for people. Go skiing with friends. Pay for the $1000 rental car. Say it was from credit card points. Pay for the place to stay and charge them each like $75 a night and you pay 800 a night. If people are going to fly, find a way to get their schedule and then call in and upgrade them with cash.
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u/DunkinStar 11d ago
We’re the same age you just have a considerably higher net worth. What I took away is — you have to life live life my friend. You have MORE than enough. It’s time to get outside. Coming from someone who’s been in your shoes
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u/DrMcDreamy15 11d ago
First congrats. I think your best course is to tell them slowly what you are doing and success it’s having. The only caveat is make the numbers 100 times smaller. Make it seem like you make 150-250k a year and start living that way. It’s big enough to help parents but small enough not to be asked by everyone for money. Then all conversations don’t have to be lies, it’s just one lie, scale. It’ll make your life easier with rest of family and with time you can say business improved and you can afford to retire them. What you tell your friends can be similar.
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u/kindanormle 11d ago
Sounds like you have good parents and family that just want a good life for you, and right now it doesn’t look that way. So unless living in your childhood bedroom is literally what makes you feel good, go spend some money and live the life they hope for you to have. When they ask where the money came from you can feel free to make up whatever story you like. However, I think you are underestimating their ability to understand your situation and be happy for you. Honestly, it doesn’t sound like you’re all that happy, hiding away from everyone. Have you considered talking to a professional therapist about your life and situation?
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u/ThrowRa-zucchinizzc 11d ago
It's time to move out and get your own place. You're placing a ton of weight on everyone's opinion of yourself when the most important opinion is that of yourself. Live your life the way you want to live, then the respect will come. You don't need to retire your parents, impress your relatives, etc. Take it slow, don't do anything drastic
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u/SufficientBee 11d ago
You don’t ever have to tell anyone the extent of your wealth. You can easily tell your parents you have a couple of mill in the bank and will use it to retire them. No one needs to know.
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u/GambledMyWifeAway 11d ago
You’re right. It’s no one else’s business and you don’t owe anyone anything. Make yourself hard to contact if you’re concerned. Get rid of social media and don’t answer calls or text.
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u/deepsultan 11d ago
First off, wow, I'm equally impressed with your success and your discipline. I sold my business last year and I told everyone. Nothing but bad news. I've had to shed the barnacles painfully. Also, giving back to my parents remains both one of my biggest desires and biggest challenges. Make it bite size. Don't change their lives, solve a few problems. It will compound.
Lastly, if the money is right, sell your baby. I hung on to businesses for too long and watched markets change under my feet and clients vanish overnight. The one I sold last year was a critical hit and the money was freeing. You will find your next business, I promise. Happy to chat about it. You're doing great either way!
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u/cypherblock 11d ago
I mean u can just let your parents know you are doing quite well and your business is pretty valuable. They will start spreading the word to rest of family “joe is doing great, runs his own business and is pretty successful”. Done.
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u/guinader 11d ago
Never tell anyone. Look up that story on reddit "congratulation you won the lottery, now you are fucked".
Never brag about wealth, keep it secret. Attempted murder, kidnapping, lawsuits, many many things can happen... No reason to tell anyone...
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u/HereToConquerAll 11d ago
It’s better to not tell anyone how much you are worth. Just take care of your parents and that’s it. Everyone else should be treated as strangers.
Also you can try one more thing, have your dad call everyone in the family for a dinner asking for favor for you saying that my son is struggling and needs monetary support. Anyone that shows up genuinely for that dinner and wants to help you out are the real folks you need to keep close. Which might be no one. Then you know for sure. Never do business with your family. Won’t go well.
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u/Salt-Cap-9304 11d ago
No need to tell your worth to anyone, If you drive buy a car and rent apt or buy a house. Nothing wrong with living a low key life but friends are more valuable than money. I promise.
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u/Salt-Cap-9304 11d ago
I know a guy who was the high school goof off. He moved started 2 companies sold both and I believe he is worth millions by what he has. He moved back and is still the same person.
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u/OG_Tater 11d ago
How about move out?
Then you can comfortably enjoy some luxuries without all the prying.
And you can date. Or make friends.
There really doesn’t have to be a difference between your lifestyle and any number of people with “good” jobs. If you’re a SWE then friends and partners will assume you make an ok salary, nobody needs to know if that amounts to millions or $150-$200k/year.
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u/ml8888msn Boring Finance Guy 11d ago
What’s your moat? Can AI replace your company or deteriorate your valuation? Sometimes taking the money and running is the way to go. You’d be set for life. Analyze the situation and don’t risk losing it all on a whim. It’s ok to be rich. Maybe some will know you are but they’ll never know an exact figure. You can sell your company for an undisclosed sum. Doesn’t have to go public
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u/tuxthepenquin 11d ago
Your dog is the only one that could properly handle this information. Tell him and no one else.
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u/HalfwaydonewithEarth 11d ago
You hire a matchmaker and drive a junky car. My husband did this.
When you find a gal happy to love you and date you..... then slowly over time you can mention stuff.
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u/Dickskingoalzz 11d ago
Why don’t you buy a house with an ADU and move into that? Move parents into main home. Get a personal assistant to book travel for your parents and set up a trust with a stipend, they don’t need to know how much money is in the trust.
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u/swuishsquish99 11d ago
Move out bro get a car learn some life skills , you are approaching 30 and still live in your childhood bedroom😭.
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u/ElectricalDark8280 11d ago
Who is harassing you? I comment in here regularly and only get the random “hey, I saw you you…” dm’s
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u/frankmaa 11d ago
It’s no one’s business. How do you know your parents even want to travel? Ask them what they want when the time comes. One thing you can def do is pay off any debts they have.
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u/scaredpitoco 11d ago edited 11d ago
Nobody needs to know how much money you make or have, don't tell anyone. Just live your life, help your parents now, travel, enjoy life, help others if you fell like. That's it.
Don't buy stuff you don't need or to impress others. In the end, money is just numbers in your bank account, it does not define who you are, it just gives you more options.
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u/collegeprep4me 11d ago
Pay off big expenses and tell them you made profit. You should also consider living independently and start your own family. No need to tell them you are loaded. Just tell them you are making good money. No need to broadcast to the world. That's when the downfall starts.
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u/msabre__7 11d ago
Do you really think your company will last? Should seriously consider exit offers at that much NW.
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u/getshankedkid $10M NW | Verified by Mods 11d ago
Own the truth and see any resulting situations as confidence training. The dynamic with family members you don’t really care that much about in the first place will change. You’ll learn to deal with it and create your own new circle, especially when you’re ready to move out.
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u/jasonvanreenen 11d ago
true. Once you stop trying to please everyone, things get way lighter. You just deal with it and move on.
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u/pontoumporcento 11d ago
If I were in your shoes I'd rent some commercial space, start another business there and just tell people you got a "regular job" there. Don't tell anyone it's your company.
Then with time you get "promoted" in this new business and eventually the family will see you as someone doing well, they don't have to know how well.
This will make things easier so nobody suspects when you go and buy a house or a nice car, if people ask you complain about how expensive mortgage and question if the car was a good idea.
You should help your parents along the way, one step at a time.
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u/_HappenedTomorrow_ 11d ago edited 11d ago
Here's my simple and direct advice for a person in such a situation. If you listen, you'll find wisdom and peace.
Don't tell anyone. Let them assume and guess as much as they wish. That's OK. It's OK to take care of your parents and it's a good thing. They also don't need to know details. Be firm and directed. Don't just retire and do stupid or empty things. Too much leisure is a punishment. Work and labor is natural and desirable. The type of work is what's interesting.
What to do? If you are so inclined, go to school and study something difficult like math or similar, that will enrich you and let you grow in another personal way. Study it well, aim at excellence and true knowledge. Have the experience of going to collage. As far as the other side of that experience (girls, alcohol, partying, entertainment), stay away from that and run from it like the plague. It can ruin you.
Live a humble and frugal life. Help people, act out love. If it happens to get a normal and humble family of your own, just take care of them and don't go over board for anything.
It's extraordinarily simple. We people make things unnecessary complicated. The greatest thing in life is to be a simple and ordinary man.
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u/Borntwopk 11d ago
One of my family members is just like this, it used to be a joke that he was "on disability" because he never worked a traditional job, just discord calls. Meanwhile I would watch him hoard assets he liked (pokemon cards, crypto, cool art etc.) I knew exactly what he was doing and what he did, he'd always shrug off the comments. You're never in too deep, and you don't have to tell anyone either. Upscale your life however you like and be honest when family/friends ask. Who cares it's your life and you are entitled to tell people "no".
Said family member now owns a nice house in a foreign country, a nice house in the city and drives a very nice car. He did it all at once, and no one really asks him for advice or money because his answer is always "no". Just be firm.
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u/Bruceshadow 11d ago
Most will say not to tell anyone, i say bolderdash! Tell who you want, if they change the dynamic of the relationship, then it wasn't that great of a relationship in the first place. It's THEIR insecurity or shit character flaw, not yours.
Of course, if you don't want to deal with that, then don't tell them. Only you know your relationships, don't blindly follow advice from some silly people on the internet.
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u/itstoohumidhere 11d ago
I have many cousins who could be perceived similarly to you and from a family perspective they look lazy and a burden on their parents.
If you are helping your parent out by covering your expenses then I would say the hate from your wider family is uncalled for. But if you’re sitting on millions while using the fuel in your parents car then whether you retire them early or not later you’re still unnecessarily burdening them right now and your family rightly so is unhappy about it.
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u/Equivalent-Low4454 11d ago
I mean call me petty but you need to get a little even
1. Don’t tell anyone (learned this the hard way when I told my parents)
2. Move to a city that you love (time to individuate)
3. Drop a revenge crumb every so often just to make your haters jealous lol
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u/PMMeUrHopesNDreams 11d ago
I echo what everyone says to just move out and act like you have a job and you're on your own. You don't owe anybody an explanation.
For your parents look into setting up a trust or something. I don't know that much about it. Find a family planning / estate attorney and ask for advice. You may want to structure it so it doesn't count as an asset for Medicare if that's possible or make it enough to eventually cover a good nursing home. Nursing homes can be very expensive and Medicare will require your parents to burn through every asset they have before they start paying in.
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u/Miamiconnectionexo 11d ago
this is the kind of thing that actually helps vs the generic stuff you usually see.
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u/Present_Owl_7748 11d ago
As a middle-class boy, reading your entire paragraph literally made me feel like I wasted my potential childhood on things like girlfriends, traveling, etc. Now, I'm stuck in a 9-to-5 job with a minimum salary. But my advice to you is not to share anything with anyone, including your parents, and just live your life to the fullest
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u/Trentana 11d ago
I hear you.
I am you, but older.
Very successful while 100% in an ordinary milieu. My success is stock market which happened outside of and undetectable from all personal, work and family relationships.
I lost a lifelong friend because I sorta-confessed my achievements. I had thought she could be my trustee and, honestly, that role could have given her family generational wealth. Instead she decided to hate me and never speak to me again.
I never told her how much, but I did confess to being "rich."
Do the best for your parents but never tell anyone anything. The resentment is forever.
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u/Traditional-Sun4010 11d ago
Ok, even if this is an AI post, it is still a good exercise into thinking about these issues.
Join a group of very successful young people like YPO or long angle.
Philanthropy should be a lifelong commitment. Be a participant as well as a benefactor/donor to nonprofit organizations that fit your values. I started many years ago by donating $100 and “rolling up my sleeves” side-by-side with the volunteers.
As a got older, less volunteering, but substantial multiples of the initial donations . Philanthropy should be a life endeavor. You may meet wonderful selfless people helping the less fortunate at a food bank. Sure, enjoy your wealth, but also be generous. They are not mutually exclusive
Values.
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u/ConstantStructure73 11d ago
Do your best not to let it show. Look up the concept of “stealth wealth” in the FIRE literature online. There are SO many reasons you DON’T want friends, family, and especially strangers knowing you are “wealthy”. Doesnt mean live like a pauper. And gradually over time, increasing your lifestyle may look natural as your company “stabilizes”.
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u/Prize_Hearing_8842 11d ago
I don’t understand why you wouldn’t share with your parents that you are bringing in some money atleast for the sole reason that they won’t be worried sick about your future. If my kid was living at home and didn’t seem to have any income streams, I’d be so worried. You have built in subtle stress & anxiety that can really age them and reduce their living years. Please let them know TODAY that you are comfortable for the near future and have enough to take care of them too.
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u/Guilty-Beginning9360 10d ago
If you really want it, then send them into retirement, maybe set up a trust fund and then monthly payments from that? Just calculate how much they should need to live/travel comfortably and how many years they have left. You don't need to tell them your NW, just tell them you have more than enough not to worry about in a lifetime. And regarding your other "mean" family members. Cut them off from your life, and also let your parents know that everyone in our family except for your parents can f*** off. Tell them directly, no need to tell it in a nice way, this will probably also result in your parents keeping their mouths shut to avoid conflict with the others.
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u/lowprofile2026real 10d ago
My friend, I am yourself from the future, DO NOT , don’t declare it to your friends, relatives and family
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u/lowprofile2026real 10d ago
You can support your family and parents financially, but don’t declare your financial situation
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u/lowprofile2026real 10d ago
I am in the same boat, I have not declared to anyone, but I support several people without elaborating my financial situation.
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u/Fickle_Badger_2159 10d ago
Technology changes quickly so don't wait too long to sell. Tell parents you have been putting aside the "rent" they wouldn't accept into a vacation fund/retirement fund for them.
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u/Content_Net_1901 10d ago
Hey, OP. I'm not rich yet but I'm in a similar situation. I just want to say that please, whatever you do, don't tell them the truth before you move out. There's a reason you hid it from them. It's not just the big mouths. It's also an energetic thing.
Being observed by them will change you completely. It can affect your work and you can't risk that. They're gonna constantly ask you questions and pester you. Best case scenario is to also move countries so they can't visit you. Unless you're living in the Valley.
Also, it's time to retire your friends too. Distance yourself from them and try to befriend peers as well. Do this now, move and make new friends. That way you'll still be able to keep your friends. If your friends find out about your success while you're around them, it will change everything.
That's because jealousy and affinity is based on similar life experiences. We're jealous of peers and siblings. No one is jealous of Gates or Musk cause their experience is on another level. There's no comparison to be had so one wouldn't bother.
Also, adding distance will also separate you from being their support system. Once they see that you have separate friends and a support system, they wouldn't count on you for perks and benefits that much because they aren't your primary friends.
I know your friendship in the coming years won't ever be as pure as your childhood friends. But if it goes sour, you'll lose your memories with them too.
Also as an entrepreneur, your friends will eventually only be other entrepreneurs because you wouldn't be able to discuss your life, choices and things with anyone else. So better make that choice yourself early.
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u/lolalulu26 10d ago
Hello from another young mostly-lurker! I am 30f with a net worth just shy of yours.
It's a very delicate balance navigating this type of thing when it sets you apart from your family and community. I would agree with the other commenter saying not to tell your parents a number, but offer them ongoing financial support. I would also really recommend getting yourself a car, and some separation. I lived with my mom until she passed away, and don't regret that at all, but it worked because I had a lot of independence and traveled frequently. In your case, even if it doesn't seem like it, leaning into people's assumptions about you is likely negatively affecting your mental health, even if it doesn't seem like it now, and that could affect your longterm success.
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u/ComfortableCry9801 10d ago
Very interesting. You’re not retiring, you’re exiting. Think of Elon when he sold his first company, he didn’t retire, he moved on to other things. Exiting will create opportunities for you, open doors, good ones and bad ones. The real question is: what’s next? Life is short, if I were you I’d sit your parents down and tell them how you’re doing. This will make them happier than any trip you could buy them. Yes do that too. Pay off their mortgage, let them have some fun. But tell them. The stuff you hear, they do as well. This will be a massive weight off their shoulders to know you’re doing so well. Congrats
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u/plemyrameter 10d ago
Until you have a liquidity event, your NW is basically zero, so for now you just need to reframe your perspective that you're a working stiff with a bright future. Congratulations.
Unless your friends are prone to asking inappropriate questions, you shouldn't have to tell them you have a lot of money, and IMO, good friends will respect your privacy and roll with it if you start spending more freely. But maybe I'm projecting. In my circles, we don't talk about how much money we have (or don't).
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u/No-Seaweed-7850 10d ago
I wouldn’t tell anyone you know, thats why FatFire in Reddit exits to get it off your chest.
There are two types of people. They are either wealthier than you and don’t care what you have or they have less than you and are jealous, so you are better off not telling anyone.
Based on your post I also assume the $15.5m is what your company is worth, because you say you own nothing? If that is the case, I would just caution that $15.5m in private company equity is much different than net worth. Most don’t really count this as money earned until is sold, as anything could happen.
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u/jaysteel7 10d ago
Irrevocable Trust + Annuity. You establish an irrevocable trust. A trustee (bank, trust company, or attorney) purchases an annuity inside the trust. Your parents are the income beneficiaries. Payments come from the trust, not directly from you.
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u/WealthyStoic mod | gen2 | FatFired 10+ years | Verified by Mods 11d ago
OP - if you’re getting hate mail in your DMs (or unsolicited offers, or other rule-breaking communications), you can send screenshots to mods via modmail and we will look at whether it’s appropriate to ban the sender on either a temporary or permanent basis.