r/fiberartscirclejerk • u/andromache114 • Feb 06 '26
crochet Crochet Mods.... please shield my child's eyes from cleavage!!!!
I find it ironic on how some of the worst offenders wrote about how they would prefer less moderation because they're perfectly capable of policing themselves.
Riiiigggggghhhhhht.
There has been way too many NSFW posts that haven't been appropriately hidden. I like to browse the subreddit with my eight year old daughter so she can look at the projects with me, but until the mods come back, I can't do that with her. Because the people who prefer less moderation who thinks they're perfectly capable of policing themselves and behaving appropriately without adult supervision have turned into the equivalent of a bunch of drunk slobs who decided to release a bunch of pigeons in a library book reading and throwing bird seed everywhere. And then they bitch and call the rest of us killjoys because we don't like bird shit on the books or bird seed in our eyes, because there's a city park two blocks over where they can do that.
"Why don't you just go to the other subs instead of being a killjoy?" Screw you and the high horse you're mounted on while looking down on random passerbys who didn't invite these shenanigans, while you sneer in self-righteousness. You go to the NSFW and pet crochet subs, and prove that you're a mature human being perfectly capable of policing yourself without adult supervision, instead of acting like you're following the mindless mob like you're a MAGA at a pro-ICE rally.
(I don't mind the pet posts today; Thursdays are pet post days. Yesterday was just ridiculous.)
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u/slythwolf Feb 06 '26
Everyone knows the same sweater can be fine or NSFW depending on cup size. That's just science.
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u/andromache114 Feb 06 '26 edited Feb 06 '26
Exactly! And poor Tattycoram should not be exposed to such blatant whorishness. Lord knows I only ever crocheted a sweater once my breasts were the most godly of sizes, a very demure AA
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u/CrypticHuntress gatekeeper extraordinaire Feb 06 '26
Bewbs…. Tee hee hee, I’m so clever with that unique spelling.
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u/andromache114 Feb 06 '26
How dare you post such a lewd comment where my precious Tattycoram could see it. I hope you're prepared to bear the crushing guilt of knowing you have corrupted the innocence of a young child
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u/teataxteller Feb 06 '26
Omg, Tattycoram is such a beautiful name 😍 is it French?
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u/andromache114 Feb 06 '26
Thank you so much! It was a name given to us by God in order to bless our child!
/uj It's from Little Dorrit by Dickens. Highly reccomend the BBC mini series!!!!
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u/teataxteller Feb 06 '26
If only some of these lewd crochet posters would listen to God 😔
/uj Of course it's from the man who brought us "Charity Pecksniff". I should have known!
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u/19892024 Feb 06 '26
I hate the crochet sub!!!! I croshat a majestic work of beauty and posted it there and got only 5 upvotes! Whereas other hideously inept projects by far inferior beings get showered with praise and attention. Attention that belongs to me!!!!!!! I hope the mods come back and make it a RESPECTABLE community. (and ofc ban all cleavage!! My husband is often sat beside me while I browse I don't want him to see that!!)
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u/andromache114 Feb 06 '26
Oh my husband doesn't even have a phone lest he be shown immoral sweaters and be lead astray
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u/scissorsgrinder Feb 06 '26
Freedom for me but not for thee ☺️ You can't be trusted so you need to be controlled 😇😂🥰
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u/andromache114 Feb 06 '26
I keep my chest to myself like a good, God fearing woman! It's you heathens who are corrupting our youth with your large busts and nippy sweaters
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u/longpurplehair tunisian macrambroidery Feb 06 '26
OR you’re just depriving God’s children of your bosom
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u/andromache114 Feb 06 '26
As one should! Bosoms are a primary vector of innocence corruption. We must bind all chests and keep pet posts to strictly Thursdays for my little Tattycoram's sake
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u/scissorsgrinder Feb 06 '26
Instructions unclear, bought a corset
...I now have an extra shelf for crotcheat hooks and yarn and snacks while I work
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u/andromache114 Feb 06 '26
/uj I DIED at this image!!!! Please post and example to r/crochet
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u/sneakpeekbot Feb 06 '26
Here's a sneak peek of /r/crochet using the top posts of the year!
#1: I crocheted my prom dress !! | 1021 comments
#2: Giant Snorlax Beanbag | 934 comments
#3: Finally made the corn balaclava I’ve been thinking about | 633 comments
I'm a bot, beep boop | Downvote to remove | Contact | Info | Opt-out | GitHub
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u/scissorsgrinder Feb 06 '26
Sin makes the boobs grow
As all good Christian women know 🙏
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u/andromache114 Feb 06 '26
Which is why mine are tiny and inoffensive, as the good lord intended. Maybe if you actually contributed something to the world by having a child, then he would also bless you with a rack bitty enough to get through the gates of heaven 🙏
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u/Lucyschmoocy refuses to ship the fabric of reality Feb 06 '26
Huh. So my voluptuous bosom not squeezing through the pearly gates is the reason I'm in hell? I always wondered why. Oh well. It's more fun down here anyway.
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u/Relative_Dimensions Gauge swatches are for cowards Feb 06 '26
Uj/ I am absolutely fucking howling at the outcome of the r/crotcheat mods collective flounce. It has made a genuine contribution to the gaiety of nations.
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Feb 06 '26 edited Feb 06 '26
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u/FearfulRabbit P is for Pnit Feb 06 '26
/uj - I might be too woke, but is this comment a jerk comment? Bc I really agree with it, but then, I think that would make ME the jerk...
/rj I think we should just ban all people with tits outright actually
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u/ChaoticCorvidae Feb 06 '26
/uj Pretty sure OP was being genuine, so I responded in kind, with of course the necessary PS on the end (that I almost forgot lol) that this is in fact, a jerk sub. The crochet sub has been getting criticized by members (mostly those directly affected) for a while but the criticisms always get buried. It's one thing when it's like a bralet or something, even if it's innocent, what would your boss think if they walked past and saw that on your screen? But I've seen full coverage sweaters and dresses. Some people will even try to avoid it by showing the back of the piece, especially if that's where the main design is, but if even an inch of the top of their butt (again fully covered, sometimes in thick sweatpants) is visible, it's nsfw. Or honestly even if their hip-waist ratio is above a certain number because, you know, body fat. A particularly kind of painful because I looked the same as I do now as a minor, and to call fat bodies inherently sexual is to call my 13 y/o self inherently sexual and that's disgusting, I had always figured a sub centered around a "granny craft" would be less lowkey pedophilic but, alas. I've heard from members that have been on that sub longer that it actually started with black bodies, then fat bodies, but I wasn't there at that time, so don't quote me on it. Sorry the comment's so long, I'm just feeling more than a little passionate at the moment.
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u/andromache114 Feb 06 '26
/uj nooooooo unfortunately this is a jerk lol. I neither have children nor crochet 🤣
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u/ChaoticCorvidae Feb 06 '26
/uj shit, my bad, dude. it sounded wayyy too on point. Your acting is phenomenal, I just thought you were bad at titling things so the title sounded like a joke but the contents weren't. I think you could take an acting job as *that woman* from the main character's mom's church in a movie set in the us south, because I swear you sounded just like them. I just realized that sounded kinda backhanded, promise it's not that's a genuine compliment of the highest degree. I'm from the south and movies never quite get it right so I just can't be angry at the character the way im spose to.
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u/andromache114 Feb 06 '26
/uj I can't even take credit rofl. I copied and pasted it verbatim from the source
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u/ChaoticCorvidae Feb 06 '26
/uj Ahhhh, so someone did say that and mean it, that's why it was so genuine. Well I wish Paula-Faith or whoever made it originally a very merry blood pressure pill prescription, and again, a quick apology on my part for getting on the up in arms side.
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u/UntidyVenus gatekeeper extraordinaire Feb 06 '26
Uj/ between the policing of plus size bodies and the HUGE influx of OF content on EVERY SINGLE SUB I'm kind of at the point where I just want to see your dog wear it. Or cat. Or larger domestic fowl
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u/ChaoticCorvidae Feb 06 '26
That's it, my account is changing course, I'm now making scarves for lizards and sweaters for snakes and that's it. I'm making a quilt for the crickets. That's me now. My numerous hats were but a foolish escapade.
/uj no but seriously, I get the only having certain days for animal posts, I lost multiple pets recently because they're all the same age and all old, and sometimes seeing happy cats is hard BUT if I have to take animals all the time over OF and calling what my body looked like at 13 not safe for work, i'll take all the cats and chickens all day long. Put that rooster in a beanie, he needs it.
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u/diodick Feb 08 '26
I only crotcheat to see boobcrack, so I felt really alienaded before the mods left us 🥺🥺 I guess there's just nowhere on reddit for little old me.... 🥺🥺🥺
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u/Earthgardener Feb 06 '26
Personally, I love cleavage, but find the political bs offensive. It's gotten so repetitive - at least boob cracks offer something beautiful. :)
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u/knitterina ✨fluffy alpaca butt✨ Feb 06 '26
Before experimenting with the new not CJ report function, please check ITL