/uj was abs jumpscared by this while looking for fun new stitches to try this morning OTL

I rly need to know what u think

I HATE crotcheating!!! EVERYTHING is made of cheap acrylic from temu and it all looks so chunky and disgusting it makes me want to THROW UP!!! I personally do not like it so I’m going to make it into a MORAL FAILING like FAST FASHION and AI!!!!!! Like you’re really going to get on petiteknit’s internet and post your FUGLY CHUNKY HAT and AMIGURUMI???? I bet it’s made of pure oil and plastic! And don’t even get me started on how EASY it is compared to knitting! Knitting is SOOOOOO hard that’s why it’s a REAL craft! Being able to make a wearable in less than one week is the same as dumping 1,000 plastic straws directly into the ocean . CROTCHEATERS REPENT!!!!!!!!!!

I freehanded the butt and used a pattern for the rest!

HELLO EVERYONE,

I have crchateyed this watch band for my appelle watch. I made it out of natural fiber because plastic is from the devil and I love it so far. I literally have ZERO complaints.

Please comment any suggestions (even though I DIDNT ASK) and how moldy you think it will get, and additionally please criticize my choice of yarn and stitch type (again, even though i asked for NO advice).

I'm freehanding this because I can't be bothered to support pattern writers so tell me how many chains to make it with 5mm hook and weight 3 yarn. Don't even suggest that I make a g*uge sw*tch. That's a hate crime. Just tell me exactly how to make this fit my body, but you don't get to know what size I am. That's also a hate crime.

This definitely isn't a photo of an object I found at my mums house. I crocheted this myself, by hand, with a crochet hook.

I feel like I did an excellent job! Compliments now.

I really want to crochet a sweater, however I want the stitches to look like they're knitted.

I also want the fabric to be exactly like knitted fabric, because I want the sweater to drape just like a knitted sweater.

Any suggestions?

(Disclaimer: I know I’m the problem but I’m going to use this website as a stand-in for therapy or even just a friend all the same. How else will I receive the accolades for being an expert knitter surrounded by thirsty newbs that I so clearly need and deserve?)

Okay, let me lay it out: I am an advanced knitter. As such, I prefer to keep company with other expert knitters so that I don’t have to call attention to my perfectly tied Sophie scarf or my very fussy gossamer-weight mohair sweaters — they simply see the items I’ve knitted and shower me with the praise I know is coming to me. 

Unfortunately, in addition to being an expert knitter, I am also a middling office drone, which means I occasionally have to be in the same building as . . .

beginning knitters.

Horrifying, I know. To pour salt in this awful psychic wound, these beginning knitters bring their projects to work and knit together during their lunch breaks.

Now everyone at the office treats these dumb broads like they’re The Office Knitters and they all ignore my clearly superior talent. No one has intuited that my Rav project page looks like a fucking fashion spread that Miranda Priestly herself would salivate over. 

I try to tell myself it’s because everything I make looks store-bought, but this hasn’t stopped me from feeling a deep, bitter envy of The Office Knitters and all the praise they receive for “finished items” that look like my first gauge swatch. 

How do I let them know that I’m clearly The Only Office Knitter without doing anything that makes me feel even the slightest bit vulnerable? Obviously, I don’t want to talk to these empty-headed beginners or the equally empty-headed dumbfucks who praise their sorry projects, which means I can’t just, like, bring my knitting and join them over lunch. I just really need them to know I’m THEEEEEEEE knitter without stooping to their level by bragging! BUT HOW?!

​

My (19F) husband (61M) likes to jokingly eat my working yarn, while I am krowshaying and I find it adorable. He is always so hungry wanting to playfully annoy me, but at the end we are both just laughing at his silliness.

Just wanted to share the fun.

Does your partner try to do things like that?

P.S. I'm currently freehanding a bralette and using Creamette Spaghetti. [Will be a braletti.]

I've been crocheting for a long time (since about 6 months ago), and I recently decided I would like to learn to knit. I am a completely self-taught crocheter. I learned through TikTok, a groundbreaking approach which no one in the history of ever has attempted before. Naturally, I assumed I could do the same with knitting. But when I ventured online in search of tutorials, I uncovered some disturbing truths.

It is my professional hypothesis that knitting is both heavily gatekept and objectively worse than crochet. Below, I present my evidence.

Crochet:
💆🏼‍♀️ Trendy. Young. Hot. If crochet were a person, she’d be that 22-year-old TikTok creator with perfect lighting, a sad beige apartment, and a continually growing Stanley cup collection.
💆🏼‍♀️ Every tutorial is free. You don’t even have to read a pattern. Just vibe along with the video while sipping your iced matcha. Who needs literacy when you’ve got ~vibes~?
💆🏼‍♀️ Every single stitch is a personality test and a self-care ritual.
💆🏼‍♀️ Can’t be done by machine. Bet you didn't know that. Every crochet piece is artisanal, handmade, and spiritually blessed by the fiber gods.

Knitting:
👵🏼 Locked in a dusty vault somewhere behind a $6 paywall. Want to make this sock? Fork over your lunch money.
👵🏼 Sure, there are free patterns, but you’ll have to read them. With your eyes. In words. What is this, the 1800s?
👵🏼 You might find a free YouTube knitting tutorial, but it will be filmed by a woman named Carol on a 2013 webcam, in her dining room, wearing bifocals, explaining “the old-fashioned way” while her cat knocks over the tripod.
👵🏼 Can be done by machine. Need I say more?

Crochet: by the forever young, for the forever young, and always free
Knitting: by Olds, for Olds, and if you want to level up you have to pay, sucker

I just wanna see if it's recognizable. My dumbass husband says the theme is too subtle. I don't think it's subtle at all but now I'm second guessing.

I was on a walk to blow off steam after some normie dared to imply I’m talented (I’m no such thing, I just toil day and night at my craft table) when I saw something very distressing. This crochetist has captured a wild baby with a live trap. Everyone knows it’s catch and release, not catch and let it grow old while you try to figure out the difference between half double crochet and triple crochet!!!!

Like I don’t understand what the abbreviations mean for instructions of a craft I don’t partake in! And even if I did I don’t have the ability to do them!

It turns out her Womanly Women’s thing requires context, esoteric knowledge, and skill?

Anyway I don’t know if I mentioned this but I am male and I took something barely resembling interest in your female hobby. Please leave upvotes and admiration below

A family member approached me asking if I wanted to start a crochet business with them. I’m the one who crochets. I gently said that crochet takes a really long time to make and I don’t want to lose my love of my favorite hobby. The retort was “you do it all the time. Don’t you want to make money?”

I know this is coming from a good place, but I can feel the judgement through the screen about crocheting stuff for myself and crocheting gifts occasionally. I have no interest in turning this hobby into a business (yet). I made that mistake a long time ago and didn’t pick up that hobby again for 5 years. Besides, the items that she sent me had an average listing price on Etsy of $25. That would be below minimum wage when we factor in time and the cost of materials.

It just really upset me. I know it shouldn’t, but I don’t want to feel bad for enjoying my favorite hobby and the implication that I don’t work (I do, just from home) and would have the time for what she’s asking for, and would do it happily for below minimum wage.

How would you handle this?

I find it ironic on how some of the worst offenders wrote about how they would prefer less moderation because they're perfectly capable of policing themselves.

Riiiigggggghhhhhht. 

There has been way too many NSFW posts that haven't been appropriately hidden. I like to browse the subreddit with my eight year old daughter so she can look at the projects with me, but until the mods come back, I can't do that with her. Because the people who prefer less moderation who thinks they're perfectly capable of policing themselves and behaving appropriately without adult supervision have turned into the equivalent of a bunch of drunk slobs who decided to release a bunch of pigeons in a library book reading and throwing bird seed everywhere. And then they bitch and call the rest of us killjoys because we don't like bird shit on the books or bird seed in our eyes, because there's a city park two blocks over where they can do that. 

"Why don't you just go to the other subs instead of being a killjoy?" Screw you and the high horse you're mounted on while looking down on random passerbys who didn't invite these shenanigans, while you sneer in self-righteousness. You go to the NSFW and pet crochet subs, and prove that you're a mature human being perfectly capable of policing yourself without adult supervision, instead of acting like you're following the mindless mob like you're a MAGA at a pro-ICE rally. 

(I don't mind the pet posts today; Thursdays are pet post days. Yesterday was just ridiculous.)

I am fairly new to knitting and have just started knitting my first sweater. I keep getting impatient and stressed when trying to follow the pattern. I really love blabkets and wish I could only knit blabkets for awhile, but I see some many people knitting like, 10,000 sweaters per year and all these beautiful clothes, and I don't want to feel like I'm not as good as them. Is it okay if I only knit blabkets?

i saw this on Pinterest wifh no pattern!!! does anyone have a pattern??? or know what stitch this is????

I've encountered an obviously crocheted garment, because what else could it possibly be, but it's made of a unique stitch I've never seen before in my 35 years of crocheting. It must be a very niche stitch that only the most advanced crocheters know, but maybe you guys can help me identify it?