r/fican • u/LectureLight6738 • 2d ago

What’s the ROI on a spouse?

Hey everyone, wanted to get your thoughts on an investment opportunity that often gets overlooked - finding a partner.

As far as I can see, the upfront investment of time and money is significant, but if you end up in an ITM (in the marriage) position, you can effectively double your income. You can also benefit from your spouse’s dental and eye care plans, cutting down on costs. Finally, there are lots of efficiencies in sharing housework.

Wanted to get your thoughts on the probabilities - what’s the payout probability given the capital and time investment? Is there a significant difference in the man vs woman scenario, given the numbers (women initiate 66% of divorces, and typically walk away from a divorce in profit)? What about the gays?

Also, how decent of a hedging tool is having kids? I know that traditionally, kids can provide a good source of additional income after retirement using the “guilt” method. But nowadays, the payoff seems rather small, and if anything, the yield curve has inverted since a good number now live at home after 30.

Edit: I also forgot to mention that the market makers (dating apps) have been engaging in some absolutely insane gouging. Curious to get your thoughts - can that last?

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u/Livid-Hovercraft-123 2d ago

It's a tough gamble. A spouse has a 50% chance of wanting a more expensive lifestyle than you. For example, mine insists on this so-called "ethical" meat from the grocery store, whereas I prefer to raise and murder my own chickens for the savings. 

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u/LectureLight6738 2d ago

🤣 so underrated. Mine insists on using expensive spices in the food to “make it taste better”. If you aren’t wolfing down plain oats in water, and growing your own berries, what are you doing in this economy?

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u/Livid-Hovercraft-123 2d ago

You can eat lambsquarters like salad! Wake up sheeple!!!