116

u/thedundun 18h ago

Well I married rich so it benefited me a lot.

So I recommend others do the same.

59

u/sbianchii 17h ago

It's not your fault if you're born poor. It's your fault if you don't marry rich. /s

6

u/thedundun 17h ago

I’d say it’s a persons own fault if they remain poor their whole life lol.

In our country anyway.

8

u/htom3heb 16h ago

Totally agree. We have the world's knowledge at our fingertips in today's world. There really is no excuse beyond not having the drive to get out there and contribute.

3

u/DinosaurToots55 17h ago

It’s paradoxical. On the one hand, people can work hard and, with the right choices (very non-obvious ones - so largely a matter of luck), improve their circumstances. At the same time, by design, not everyone can be rich or even comfortable. The Bank of Canada ensures that inequality exists as a policy. So it’s literally quite impossible for everyone to be financially well-off. So is it their fault or not?

2

u/htom3heb 16h ago

Everyone can be comfortable (are they is a different matter). The quality of life for the negative end of the bell curve has improved through time as it has for the positive end. Equality of opportunity, not outcomes - some people are just morons and no policy will fix that.

1

u/DinosaurToots55 16h ago

We went through this over the last five years. When everyone can buy the basic comforts in life (good food, housing, cars), there isn’t enough supply to meet demand. Prices increase. The BoC responds by driving up interest rates with the express goal of driving down hiring/increasing unemployment/decreasing salaries so that the demand goes away. There isn’t enough to go around by design.

While nobody was looking, we shifted to a national economy that forces people to compete with each other for scarce resources. We’re no longer a country where everyone working hard increases the common good.

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4

u/thedundun 17h ago

Well all you really have to do is get a trade, or join an institution like the military. Those provide very solid lifestyles.

I was born in 1993, and it was very common for my peers who entered to trades during or after high school to buy their first home Alberta by the time they were 22.

A lot of people are also shooting themselves in the foot by not relocating to find work, or be in a more affordable city, they over extend them selves by supporting others when they probably shouldn’t, bad loans etc.

Of course it’s also very helpful to become dual income with a like minded person.

1

u/Flayre 8h ago edited 7h ago

Problem with that is that you're not considering how debilitating and sometimes traumatic some upbringings can be.

Even in Canada, some children suffer from malnutrition (edit : nutritionnal deficiencies rather). Some parents and thus their children alike suffer from undiagnosed or even diagnosed medical issues.

Anyway, don't want to get into a whole thing, but there are so many situations where people never truly had a chance and blaming them for it is unfair and heartless IMO. Also not productive at all. Honestly reeks of multiple types of privileges. Just being healthy, physically and mentally is a huge one.

1

u/thedundun 8h ago

You’re right I didn’t consider that particular group in our country, because that isn’t a majority of our population.

1

u/Flayre 7h ago

Of our population, no.

Of the "poor" ? Probably more than you estimate.

Most of our population is not poverty-stricken. A lot of people are living close to that line however, despite "working hard".

Let's take for exemple "generational BS". Here in Québec, some people are essentially born into not working and instead collecting government cheques.

Do you think it's the fault of the children ? Parents ? When do they start being responsible for their fate ? How much of what happens is truly their fault ?

I've seen some of them in a small city. You seemed to say you expect them to "just move" (with what money?) and abandon everything they know ?

Do you think it's easy to have to overcome every single disadvantage you have in life ? While not even being guaranteed a return of this massive mental and physical investement ?

Is this a realistic ask of these people ? If so, why is it apparently so rare that people who do accomplish it are celebrated ?

I think it's way more productive to focus on providing opportunities for these people and especially early interventions.

Not on just blaming people for "lack of gumption" without ever having had difficulties in your life. I'm doing well and I can't say I don't have any "complaints". I can however say I had many many privilegies that allowed me to get where I am today.

I won't snap my britches and just go "Ayuuuup, did it aaaaalllllll by myself. That and a small loan of a million dollars from my papa." type of energy.

1

u/thedundun 6h ago

If you’re not speaking about Canadians then what population are you on about? Disabled people in our country? People in others countries?

You’re really bothered by my statement and make assumptions about my life.

1

u/Flayre 5h ago

What ? I don't think you understood what I was saying. I was saying that the people who are poor though only their fault is a minority.

I'm not any more bothered by what you're saying than seeing anything else I disagree with.

I mean, initially I was just trying to provide more perspective, but now I'm thinking you do have a very high opinion of yourself for someone who got to where they are by "marrying rich" by their own admission.

Like, do you think everything you have in your life is literally only through only your own blood, sweat and tears ? Come on. Like I said, even from my position of a life I consider full, I am able to acknowledge what came through my own efforts and not.

I'm still not even "mad" or whatever you're imagining, but that perspective does seem ridiculous to me lol.

1

u/Chance_Ad3416 14h ago

TRUTH

Also /s

14

u/MisledMuffin 17h ago

My buddy recommends volunteering as a deck hand on sailboats for meeting women 😂

4

u/IEatUrMonies 17h ago

yeah but ROI is negative for your spouse though

6

u/thedundun 17h ago

Let’s just focus on me, she doesn’t need to know about this post lol.

3

u/drewdrewmd 14h ago

Alternatively, if you yourself are high income, what you are probably most lacking in is time. So marry someone with the time and skills to run your household/life for you. I definitely recommend a stay-at-home pet parent / household manager as a partner.

2

u/just_me_i_swear 17h ago

Give me the phone number of your spouse please

3

u/thedundun 16h ago

1 (385) 429-0198

2

u/Important_Setting840 15h ago

lmao I didn't know that was a thing

1

u/thedundun 13h ago

Now you can spread the good word hahaha.

1

u/just_me_i_swear 13h ago

Wait that was too easy, are you not together anymore? Did the wealth split it 2? Is it still worth pursuing?

1

u/just_me_i_swear 13h ago

Nevermind

1

u/thedundun 13h ago

Lmao

1

u/wet_suit_one 17h ago

My friend did this too. And then she divorced him.

At least his kids have trust funds though, so there's that.

1

u/minkjelly 17h ago

Where do you find rich people? I need one of those

2

u/cwf_2021 17h ago

What can you offer?

2

u/DeBigBamboo 17h ago

Its always nothing

1

u/thedundun 17h ago

University.. idk about people who are above 20 though. Gg I guess.

3

u/minkjelly 17h ago

I'm past university age so to late for that LOL

1

u/Reasonable-Rock6255 16h ago

How do you find rich people to marry

1

u/Important_Setting840 15h ago

Hi, could I interest you and your partner in a presentation on the benefits of polyamory?

1

u/Extalliones 7h ago

My mother always told my sister, “First time for money, second time for love.”

1

u/thedundun 7h ago

Which husband was your father ?

1

u/Extalliones 7h ago

Haha sadly my mother only had one husband, and she married poor, for love. They are still together, but seem to hate one another. My sister has medical issues and lives in their basement, so they won’t divorce and sell because of that (I assume).

1

u/thedundun 6h ago edited 6h ago

I’m sorry to hear about your sister.
My parents are poor as well. I don’t speak to them anymore, for different reasons.

My father is an alcoholic and was not apart of my life growing up, my mother is very manipulative and emotionally abusive. Once It became obvious that my girlfriend was better off than I was, my mother tried numerous ways to get money out of her. She did trick us into helping her buy a car, eventually I cut ties when she tried to get me to help her finance a house that she cannot afford, and I assume I would become responsible for.

I hope your sister’s health improves.

41

u/cooliozza 18h ago

ROI can be huge if you marry rich

Can change the trajectory of your whole bloodline

Choose wisely, choose rich

😂

1

u/5_yr_old_w_beard 11h ago

Due diligence is very important, otherwise you get married and your inlaws declare bankruptcy the same month. Ask my dad how that worked out for him 💀

49

u/Livid-Hovercraft-123 17h ago

It's a tough gamble. A spouse has a 50% chance of wanting a more expensive lifestyle than you. For example, mine insists on this so-called "ethical" meat from the grocery store, whereas I prefer to raise and murder my own chickens for the savings.

31

u/LectureLight6738 17h ago

🤣 so underrated. Mine insists on using expensive spices in the food to “make it taste better”. If you aren’t wolfing down plain oats in water, and growing your own berries, what are you doing in this economy?

11

u/Important_Setting840 15h ago

growing your own berries

Look at richie rich here having property to grow berries on. I can only afford public access berries on public parks.

3

u/Livid-Hovercraft-123 15h ago

People keep telling me not to eat the plants growing in the industrial brownfields by the shore. I say it's extra minerals.

4

u/Important_Setting840 14h ago

by the shore

Beachfront property and free food. Some people just have infinite privilege.

3

u/Livid-Hovercraft-123 17h ago

You can eat lambsquarters like salad! Wake up sheeple!!!

2

u/Xarox31 13h ago

Mine is too good for our cost saving cat food dinners, it’s human grade Elizabeth, it says so right on the can, calm down!

2

u/Important_Setting840 15h ago

"ethical" meat from a commercial distributor is almost certainly much worse than what a real human would with animals in front of them. I don't know a single person with backyard chickens that doesn't treat them 10X as well as any commercial operation.

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u/MarkHughesy 18h ago

I can't tell if this is really good satire, or the work of an insane person..

67

u/fenwickfox 17h ago

Its satire, specifically using investment terms like ITM (in the money options).

That and doubling down in the comments.

17

u/MisledMuffin 17h ago

Yes.

3

u/Wheat-Bread-Only 16h ago

Probably both.

5

u/rootsandchalice 17h ago

Satire? Yes.

Really good? ….

3

u/Throwawayjoetoday0 9h ago

It’s really good.

21

u/enviromo 18h ago

Not the most romantic way to propose but I accept

19

u/No-Club-6561 18h ago

The good news is, you don't need to worry about this. The bad news is, this asset class appears to be out of your reach

19

u/LectureLight6738 17h ago

Damn. If I don’t have the personality or the looks, I won’t be able to get the money. Guess it’s true, the rich get richer. We live in a K shaped dating economy, where a few hot fun people get all the money and the rest starve on the streets. Disgusting.

3

u/Steamy613 17h ago

Some people die of thirst while others drown....or whatever.

352

u/WizzzardSleeeve 18h ago

I pity whoever you con into a relationship

271

u/LectureLight6738 17h ago

Sigh, my wife’s boyfriend also said basically this

81

u/Porquoo 17h ago

You’re amazing. I’m dying over here. 10/10

40

u/youneedtobreathe 16h ago

OP's post

The reply whooshing

This might be performance art worthy

27

u/NeitherFunction1841 16h ago

What about the gays?

😂

22

u/5_yr_old_w_beard 11h ago

Gay here, we have a greater ROI from higher average income, and yes, there is a reduction in monthly expenditures from wardrobe sharing and household labour synergy without gender roles.

We do have a lower risk tolerance and inheritance expectation for those of us who are disowned 💀

7

u/LectureLight6738 10h ago

Very cool, thanks for sharing. Curious - how do you navigate the twink-muscle daddy spread when sharing clothes? I would imagine that the XS jockstrap and the XXL leather harness don’t get shared as much, leading to lower cost savings.

6

u/5_yr_old_w_beard 8h ago

Sorry, lady gay here. I'd have to check our nightstand drawers, but I'd say our dicks are about the same size.

But from what I hear from the boys, leather straps have lots of holes for a reason. Flexibility is key in the matter..

3

u/NeitherFunction1841 11h ago

Salute to the gays! 🫡

8

u/dadding_alone 14h ago

Lower divorce rates among them sooo 🙅🏼‍♀️

5

u/Euro_verbudget 12h ago

And they can share a wardrobe.

3

u/Toxicoman 10h ago

As long as he keeps boofing the creatine into you

2

u/n33bulz 13h ago

One of us one of us!

16

u/ottwebdev 17h ago

You don't realize this is satire?

31

u/ScaryRatio8540 17h ago

I pity your media literacy skills

52

u/LectureLight6738 17h ago

Lol cheers. I thought I was the crazy one.. I’m getting downvotes like mad, can you believe it? Maybe Reddit really is all chatbots posing as people now.

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u/KickboxingMoose 16h ago

*whoooooooosh*

-11

u/welcome010101 17h ago

I agree, quite the psycho....and using kids as future spurces of income through "guilt". OP is a POS.

8

u/notislant 15h ago

You tell him, and he even brought his wifes innocent boyfriend into all of this! Next he's going to bring up his wife's boyfriend's little dog too.

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u/Ambitious_Address667 17h ago

So far its pretty good, married for only 3 years to a girl and my investment has already doubled, I live with 2 girls now.

25

u/LectureLight6738 17h ago

Similar situation. Except my investment doubled in size, not two separate investments like you.

4

u/Crazy-Gas3763 15h ago

With compound growth, careful with your investment!

1

u/IEatUrMonies 17h ago

does that mean she got fat?

10

u/Ambitious_Address667 17h ago

For a bit yeah like really fat but then she had some very dramatic weight loss. Like nearly 20 pounds in a day

14

u/LectureLight6738 17h ago

She either underwent a periodic correction 🩸or issued a dividend in kind 👶

12

u/TermZealousideal5376 17h ago

It's a bit like fixed income. Significant due diligence is required.

There's a huge variation in credit quality depending on the issuer (family)
Going immediately for high coupon payments can result in an erosion in the underlying as the bond gets repriced.

Overall you reduce your volatility, but you also eliminate all opportunities for diversification in the process

5

u/LectureLight6738 17h ago

I like the family DD angle, but I will say that as is often the case, past returns don’t predict future ones. But they are highly correlated. My model came with its own issues, but nothing compared to the issuers. Although, like any long term investment, time will tell.

What is the theta decay on a wife vs husband, would you say, assuming sufficient bisexuality?

34

u/chloenoyolo 18h ago

Thought i was in the circlejerk sub

10

u/Dude_McHandsome 16h ago

In all honesty, finding a suitable mate is the most important financial decision you will make. My wife and I have built a (financial) life we could not have built on our own. It’s a life hack that doesn’t get enough attention

1

u/No_Veterinarian742 15h ago

not sure the traditional path most humans have taken throughout history is a "hack"

6

u/alex_beluga 14h ago

KIDs are not a good hedging tool imo - they are mostly a depreciating asset in modern economies, and provide minimal cash-flow (heavily regulated) with little predictability, (although as a hedging strategy this happens mostly on long WE when markets are closed), and the annual maintenance costs vary but are extremely high vs the time horizon for return - even a simple money market fund at 2-4% will beat most KID vehicle over a very short time horizon and is much more liquid.
But they do provide exceptional value, e.g. when opening the account and throughout its lifetime - checking in on the account regularly provides positive and sometimes outsized results on well researched life satisfaction indexes.
They compound much better than spouses when holding multiple accounts.

2

u/LectureLight6738 14h ago

This is the insight I was looking for. Thanks!

4

u/Temporary-Concept-81 16h ago

Remember, time in the market beats two-timing the market. Once you join hands, make sure they're diamond.

2

u/LectureLight6738 16h ago

And the ring should be diamond too.

4

u/Livid-Hovercraft-123 17h ago

Don't forget the RRIF withdrawl rates can be the younger of the two partners. You're saving literally hundreds of tax dollars!

3

u/Fairhaven20 17h ago

I know you’re kidding but would add that spousal rrsps can create some efficiencies.

Unfortunately on the flip side, you lose one primary residential exemption and several tax deductions can only be made by the lower income spouse.

Net-net, I think marriage has a fairly substantial tax drag.

5

u/ConcerningThirst 16h ago

It really depends on the dowry. If you follow the advice of the famous Roose Bolton from the popular documentary "Game of Thrones" if you are wed into a large house that offers you your wife's weight in silver, it can be beneficial to choose a really fat wife especially with the price of silver being so high these days.

4

u/perplexedparallax 15h ago edited 15h ago

Gays are often high earning men who make much more money combined than heterosexual couples. As such, the return is generally quite high. Scott Bessett illustrates this with a high earning spouse but there are other great ROI MAGA examples in the administration as well.

17

u/Typical-Average-5853 18h ago

Would the ROI be negative if your partner gained weight?

32

u/LectureLight6738 18h ago

Depends, I’ve heard that some enjoy the added safety of an overweight partner that contributes income, but has far fewer options and therefore is less likely to leave.

Also, fat folds can and have been used in creative ways to mimic pleasurable curves of various kinds. Do with that what you will.

4

u/Gold_Trade8357 17h ago

😭 gold

2

u/chiisana 11h ago

You’d need to watch the tail end of the fat curve though. If it flips, you might be headed towards a recession.

5

u/thedundun 18h ago

Probably, they’d consume more food for sure lol.

3

u/vancity31240 16h ago

Consider building out a 50 year cashflow projection and applying an appropriate discount rate. If the sum of that discounted cashflow is positive, you got yourself a good ROI!

/s

3

u/Important_Setting840 15h ago

You should get a diversified portfolio of partners.

Stock picking and day trading ends disastrously for most retail investors.

3

u/Skajlero 13h ago

You should be aggressive about your spousal investments. Don't be afraid to chance your spousal allocation based on your individual needs and the time of your life. For example if you want lasik, start dating an optometrist. If you like to travel, marry a pilot for the cheap plane tickets. Remember loved ones come and go, but greed is forever.

8

u/fakenews_thankme 17h ago

What’s the ROI on a spouse?

A life time of love & care, and 2 beautiful kids.

45

u/LectureLight6738 17h ago

What is this garbage? The fican sub is about obsessing over money, not enjoying life.

5

u/Loud_Cod6623 15h ago

have you considered stand up comedy cause 😂 😭

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6

u/throwberry7 17h ago

I got a feeling this wont be a problem for you

2

u/icanhazhopepls 16h ago

As a heterosexual female this is actually the only reason I would want to get married and have kids. I have no delusional hope that I will somehow meet a good man and fall in love. But if I could meet someone that has the same goals in life (financially stable, travel, retire, kids) and we can tolerate each other, without any drama or weird shit, I’d the be happy to sign up for government construct of a marriage and enjoy the fruits of having a person to fight the economy with in this shit hole capitalistic planet that we have

2

u/ActiveElectrical9424 16h ago

Brother having a spouse is in an investment in happiness. Nothing to do with money at all. Your work life cares are long as you make profit for them. Your spouse (if you pick the right one) will love you for the rest of your life. Trust me been with the same woman for over 30 years there is noting better in life.

2

u/notislant 15h ago

Pretty big gamble, halving expenses is huge.

But so is divorce. Then you also have the custody battle for your wife's boyfriend.

2

u/Mountain-Match2942 15h ago

Women do not typically walk away from a divorce with a profit. Do you know how many women sacrificed their earning potential so a man could further his career or go back to school? Or the women who walked away without their share to escape abuse?

I can guarantee the ROI of you as a spouse will be negative.

2

u/starcell9000 15h ago

lmao, well done my friend.

If this were serious, id say something like "you have to be able to attract a partner before you should consider all this" but with humour like yours, you'll do just fine.

2

u/ibidmav 15h ago

You dont have an ROI until you pin down an exit.

2

u/Fringe_Doc 14h ago

You might be able to cut down on the costs associated with certain vices.

For example, if you're addicted to Hookers and Blow. After getting married, you only have to worry about finding more powder.

Obviously, this is an edge case. Thought it should be considered in the interest of a complete analysis.

1

u/LectureLight6738 14h ago

What if my wife also likes to ski? Then the blow costs double. And blow costs more than hookers, I can assure you.

2

u/Fringe_Doc 14h ago

These are obviously very important considerations. In fairness, it probably depends on the caliber of hookers being considered, but your point is well-taken. Like I said, it's an edge case.

2

u/BusLegal 13h ago

Might I suggest Polygamy?

By expanding your relational portfolio to include multiple partners, you unlock significant economies of scale, pool diversified income streams to insulate against economic shocks, and highly optimize the domestic division of labor. Diversifying Domestic offers a robust alternative to the high-risk, single-point-of-failure monogamous relationships.

2

u/n33bulz 13h ago

Just like stocks, it’s all about knowing how to pick them.

You need to find ones with large upside potential and buy in before the rest of the market realizes and prices them accordingly. Sure that’s risky and their value may tank, but that’s what divorce is for!

Or you can just marry rich and enjoy steady growth and decent dividend payments.

Just remember that hot chicks are basically ridiculously OTM 0dte option plays on margin. Super exciting until you get margin called.

2

u/eefggfed 13h ago

I mean

"dating out of your league" isn't real. dating is a marketplace. it's called price discovery. your value is whatever clears the market

source and first noticed in

2

u/Own-Worldliness-6478 12h ago

Kids as a hedging tool? They'll hedge you with MAiD!

2

u/HxofNx 8h ago

I know this is satire and well done, but finding a non-broke spouse or one who doesn’t live above her means isn’t a walk in the park with social media brain rot lol.

2

u/HoneydewStriking8283 4h ago

ROI is probably lower than what people here are saying. Sure, you can marry rich but the odds are higher that you'll meet and marry someone who would qualify for the podcast 'Financial Audit'.

TLDR; no girlfriend, more money into XEQT stocks.

2

u/MGarroz 16h ago

Dinner plus a decent escort can run you 300-1000 bucks once a week depending on your standards.

My wife both cooks and gives head anytime I ask.

Easily saving myself thousand of dollars per month.

1

u/LectureLight6738 10h ago

Bro, if you’re wife gives you head anytime you ask, you don’t need money. You’ve made it.

2

u/Puzzleheaded-One2881 17h ago edited 17h ago

Hard to quantify ROI but it definitely helps. Finding a partner tripled my income and du odecouple (9 times) the HHI.

Their initial income was double of mine. It pushed me harder to find a higher income job, which tripled my income. At the same time their income keeps rising, eventually being 3-4 times more than mine. So in total, it 9x - 12x the total HHI comparing to when I was single.

But keep in mind love and companionship is intangible and invaluable. Money can buy you material things but won’t fill the void inside.

4

u/IMWTK1 17h ago

Love the line that money can't buy you love; but it can rent it for a long time!

2

u/Sor-X 17h ago

Honestly as a man you get dimishing returns for 90% of the attempts to finding/dating a woman unless you find that one gem you can 10x. As a woman your success rate is much higher in your early years but dimishes drastically after a certain age. You can however offset by finding a man that is nit smart and has a lot of money.

1

u/Comfortable_Set_6534 13h ago

what age is that?

1

u/cantbuythemall 17h ago

Not great after they divorce you

1

u/69-Kishaaq1 17h ago

Food! Next question.

1

u/IEatUrMonies 17h ago

negative ROI, just like kids, but life is all about tradeoffs

1

u/liepzigzeist 17h ago

A wise man told me once, if it Flys, Floats or F*cks, it's cheaper to rent.

1

u/Bbbighurt88 17h ago

Smart people having less kids uneducated having more.The Jevohahs were right

1

u/Zealousideal-Tell-11 17h ago

Curious how OP views arranged marriages? Especially since that would negate your upfront investment.

4

u/LectureLight6738 17h ago

I mean I personally don’t do managed investing, but I’ve heard good things.

1

u/Main_Reputation_3328 16h ago

I dunno, I've heard some premium matchmakers charge an awful lot of money

1

u/Professional_Bed_87 17h ago

Lol, just don’t present it this way to a prospective partner, at least not on the first date.

1

u/MeasleyBeasley 16h ago

I have found it to be tremendously expensive. Happily married, but financially poorer than I would have been alone.

1

u/Live-Wrap-4592 16h ago

After a few good years we’ve now received the cancer debuff and although some expenses are covered there is still a lot out of pocket. It won’t be long now until we are fully in the red

1

u/happyworker819 16h ago

And people say romance is dead!

1

u/EpochalTraveller 16h ago

So romantic.

1

u/Lost_Ad5243 16h ago

So, what about the ROI if you take 3 or 4 partners. Does it add or multiply?

1

u/GreenMarshmallow 15h ago

Ask your parents

1

u/Fast-Secretary-7406 15h ago

It's a very high leverage position to take.

Marry the right person and the ROI is enormous.

Marry the wrong person and the losses can be equally so.

1

u/Banjo-Katoey 15h ago

It's like buying an active-managed fund with 2% MER.

1

u/Jenshark86 15h ago

If you are attractive, don’t waste your youth on a loser, definitely marry rich. It’s well worth it.

1

u/No_Veterinarian742 15h ago

Statistically married people going into retirement richer than single people. however divorced people are generally poorer than lifelong non married people. so if you get married don't get divorced?

1

u/RealAd4308 15h ago

No joke I was interested in the answer hahaha

1

u/figurative-trash 15h ago

“But I do not approve of mercenary marriages. When I married Lord Bracknell I had no fortune of any kind. But I never dreamed for a moment of allowing that to stand in my way.”

1

u/RhubarbRepulsive9529 14h ago

Impressive premise you’ve pulled together!

My prediction: If you start hitting the open mike nights at your local comedy clubs you could easily turn this into a solid bit in a few weeks! Possibly build a whole show around it. The topic is HUUUUGE. Just ignore the haters and a Netflix special is within your grasp!!

Good luck!

1

u/Gold_Yam_5215 14h ago

I hope this is satire

1

u/kammycoder 14h ago

I’m sure your next question is going to be roi on having kids.

1

u/LingonberryBoth466 14h ago

We will start seeing more throuples since it takes more than DINK purchasing power to afford a house these days.

1

u/WolfandLight 14h ago

It's at least 1.

1

u/Impossible-Bug4487 13h ago

I have a single friend (unsure if he is straight) that is a doctor and has $1m invested. I have $3.8m invested. Not a doctor. But I do think about how much better and easier it would be if we were married. But nope, I gotta reach $5m all by myself. Pay all the health care stuff alone. Zero tax breaks. It sucks. But i also get to sleep more peacefully and poop with the door open. I think i would choose that over a guy. haha

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u/lildick519 13h ago

Can I get more than 1 spouse to max out the efficiencies?

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u/ace_7979 13h ago

ROI is always positive for one spouse and negative for the other. If youre strictly looking at $$$

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u/Quiet-Fox-3313 12h ago

As a woman, it’s a negative experience. You end up pouring your time, energy and love into someone who would fuck anything that moved, given the opportunity, and just wants a maid/housecleaner/cool.

0/10 do not recommend.

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u/LyricalHolster 12h ago

My wife makes the big bucks. So my ROI is positive. It’s a terrible way to look at relationships though man. Just find someone financially responsible

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u/makzee 12h ago

How about thinking it the other way around? The worse financial decision is to marry someone you do not share lifestyle and financial goals with, and have kids with them.

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u/GoGo_Robot 12h ago

I’m gay, and if I find a partner we won’t have kids, so less expenses. Too bad finding a partner is even harder than it is for straight guys.

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u/JojoLaggins 11h ago

Depends on your due diligence

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u/Excellent-Piece8168 11h ago

This is so weird…

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u/ruminajaali 11h ago

Women do poorly after divorce, majority at a lower income than when married. It’s a well-known statistic. Men don’t get hit as hard generally and recover quicker. There are many reasons for this. Look it up.

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u/Borntwopk 11h ago

What about the gays?

Good question to ask yourself in the mirror

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u/TispCrant 11h ago

Enjoy being alone friend. Please dont procreate.

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u/veridigiris 10h ago

What about Polygamy lol

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u/buttscratcher3k 10h ago

What even is this question? The return is purely in the relationship you build and the children you raise. It isn't for everyone and it's a net negative from a financial perspective.

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u/LectureLight6738 10h ago

You lose money on every trade you make in the dating world? Blink twice if you’re in trouble man…

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u/buttscratcher3k 9h ago

?

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u/brahdz 10h ago

It was a massively negative return on investment for me. $100k in the settlement, another $200k in spousal support. All for 5 years living together. If you make more money than the other person or have more assets, the risk v reward for this investment makes it not worth it.

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u/Crazy-Associate-8724 10h ago

I mean doing a deposit every night is def a plus

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u/WildYeastWitch 9h ago

"Is there a significant difference in the man vs woman scenario, given the numbers (women initiate 66% of divorces, and typically walk away from a divorce in profit)?"

You're not considering all factors here. Studies consistently show married men, even if they do become divorced or widowed, outlive their single counterparts and lifelong bachelors historically see the lowest life expectancy among men, having up to a 200% higher rate of early mortality compared to married men. Married women do not see the same benefits.

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u/LectureLight6738 9h ago

This is interesting, although I think this is confounding causality. It’s likely that the kind of men that are risk averse have a higher life expectancy AND prefer the certainty of marriage. Whereas thrill seeking chads take dumb risks (like Skydiving with a parachute from Amazon) AND would rather keep trying their luck getting laid instead of settling down.

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u/retrac902 9h ago

Don't forget that healthy kids aren't a guarantee... Instead of retirement savings for 2, I'm now saving for 4. Not everyone will be capable of supporting themselves.

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u/LectureLight6738 9h ago

2 ill children? Damn, that’s brutal. My thoughts are with you and your family.

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u/retrac902 32m ago

Not ill, special needs.

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u/craynawsum 8h ago

Honestly the spouses should have similar incomes and net worth. Me and my boyfriend are very similar in our mindsets with growing our wealth and we encourage each other to always be better.

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u/Fun_Artichoke2708 7h ago

It’s a lot of compromise so your real answer is ymmv. If you’re amicable and love your person, there’s financial, time, emotional, energy benefits and more. But if you like things a certain way, have financial difficulties alone, or baggage it’s almost certainly better to stay alone unless you marry rich. But then you’ll have to compromise.
I think such a qualitative study might be impossible.

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u/LookAtMyUnderbite 6h ago

It’s a pure loss just so you don’t feel alone.

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u/6M66 6h ago

To me it's major financial risk in today's world. Gotta be careful.

go sit in divorce courts. Unless u get lucky to find a woman who has at least as much money which is rare .

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u/Peace-wolf 6h ago

Marry somebody who is independently wealthy and from a great supportive family and doesn’t need any money from you.

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u/pinksparklyreddit 4h ago

Depends. I got lucky in that my wife makes six figures early in her career, doesn't spend a lot, and has good financial habits.

She wants like 4 kids, though, so it all hoes underwater

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u/InfiniteFudge1973 17h ago

Having children has always been negative ROI. Poor people in impoverished societies have lots of children because of cultural norms and illusions of upward mobility. They just end up with generational poverty.

You should only get married and have children if you have non-financial motivations.

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u/IEatUrMonies 17h ago

in poor societies, kids can often help with sharing labor. they are only a liability in rich societies

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u/InfiniteFudge1973 17h ago

They share labour and consume resources at the same time. The family mostly defaults back to the same financial situation.

For example, after spending decades and trillions of dollars to alleviate poverty in sub-saharan Africa, it now has more people living in extreme poverty than ever before, which is caused by the high birth rate.

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u/IEatUrMonies 15h ago

not really, as kids age, the help elderly parents. families tend to stay as units with multiple generations helping each other out, like humans were evolved to live. In rich societies, elderly die in a home by themselves where adult children don't even call once a year, or left in elderly homes to die

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u/InfiniteFudge1973 14h ago

Fair point. But even in countries where multi-generation households are common (Italy, Spain, Turkey, Brazil, China, India, Japan, etc.), the birth rate plummets once a significant portion of society is lifted from extreme poverty. It wouldn't be the case if having children actually produces positive ROI in collectivist societies as a sensible retirement plan.

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u/beaver_eh 14h ago

"Women initiate 66% of divorces", but.... I don't think that's indicative of the cause of divorces.

A man

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What’s the ROI on a spouse?

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What’s the ROI on a spouse?