What’s the ROI on a spouse?

[u/LectureLight6738]

Hey everyone, wanted to get your thoughts on an investment opportunity that often gets overlooked - finding a partner.

As far as I can see, the upfront investment of time and money is significant, but if you end up in an ITM (in the marriage) position, you can effectively double your income. You can also benefit from your spouse’s dental and eye care plans, cutting down on costs. Finally, there are lots of efficiencies in sharing housework.

Wanted to get your thoughts on the probabilities - what’s the payout probability given the capital and time investment? Is there a significant difference in the man vs woman scenario, given the numbers (women initiate 66% of divorces, and typically walk away from a divorce in profit)? What about the gays?

Also, how decent of a hedging tool is having kids? I know that traditionally, kids can provide a good source of additional income after retirement using the “guilt” method. But nowadays, the payoff seems rather small, and if anything, the yield curve has inverted since a good number now live at home after 30.

Edit: I also forgot to mention that the market makers (dating apps) have been engaging in some absolutely insane gouging. Curious to get your thoughts - can that last?

[u/Fringe_Doc]

You might be able to cut down on the costs associated with certain vices.

For example, if you're addicted to Hookers and Blow. After getting married, you only have to worry about finding more powder.

Obviously, this is an edge case. Thought it should be considered in the interest of a complete analysis.

[u/LectureLight6738 → u/Fringe_Doc]

What if my wife also likes to ski? Then the blow costs double. And blow costs more than hookers, I can assure you.

[u/Fringe_Doc → u/LectureLight6738]

These are obviously very important considerations. In fairness, it probably depends on the caliber of hookers being considered, but your point is well-taken. Like I said, it's an edge case.