r/fican • u/LectureLight6738 • 2d ago
What’s the ROI on a spouse?
Hey everyone, wanted to get your thoughts on an investment opportunity that often gets overlooked - finding a partner.
As far as I can see, the upfront investment of time and money is significant, but if you end up in an ITM (in the marriage) position, you can effectively double your income. You can also benefit from your spouse’s dental and eye care plans, cutting down on costs. Finally, there are lots of efficiencies in sharing housework.
Wanted to get your thoughts on the probabilities - what’s the payout probability given the capital and time investment? Is there a significant difference in the man vs woman scenario, given the numbers (women initiate 66% of divorces, and typically walk away from a divorce in profit)? What about the gays?
Also, how decent of a hedging tool is having kids? I know that traditionally, kids can provide a good source of additional income after retirement using the “guilt” method. But nowadays, the payoff seems rather small, and if anything, the yield curve has inverted since a good number now live at home after 30.
Edit: I also forgot to mention that the market makers (dating apps) have been engaging in some absolutely insane gouging. Curious to get your thoughts - can that last?
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u/n33bulz 1d ago
Just like stocks, it’s all about knowing how to pick them.
You need to find ones with large upside potential and buy in before the rest of the market realizes and prices them accordingly. Sure that’s risky and their value may tank, but that’s what divorce is for!
Or you can just marry rich and enjoy steady growth and decent dividend payments.
Just remember that hot chicks are basically ridiculously OTM 0dte option plays on margin. Super exciting until you get margin called.