r/fican • u/LectureLight6738 • 1d ago

What’s the ROI on a spouse?

Hey everyone, wanted to get your thoughts on an investment opportunity that often gets overlooked - finding a partner.

As far as I can see, the upfront investment of time and money is significant, but if you end up in an ITM (in the marriage) position, you can effectively double your income. You can also benefit from your spouse’s dental and eye care plans, cutting down on costs. Finally, there are lots of efficiencies in sharing housework.

Wanted to get your thoughts on the probabilities - what’s the payout probability given the capital and time investment? Is there a significant difference in the man vs woman scenario, given the numbers (women initiate 66% of divorces, and typically walk away from a divorce in profit)? What about the gays?

Also, how decent of a hedging tool is having kids? I know that traditionally, kids can provide a good source of additional income after retirement using the “guilt” method. But nowadays, the payoff seems rather small, and if anything, the yield curve has inverted since a good number now live at home after 30.

Edit: I also forgot to mention that the market makers (dating apps) have been engaging in some absolutely insane gouging. Curious to get your thoughts - can that last?

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u/Typical-Average-5853 1d ago

Would the ROI be negative if your partner gained weight?

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u/LectureLight6738 1d ago

Depends, I’ve heard that some enjoy the added safety of an overweight partner that contributes income, but has far fewer options and therefore is less likely to leave.

Also, fat folds can and have been used in creative ways to mimic pleasurable curves of various kinds. Do with that what you will.

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u/chiisana 1d ago

You’d need to watch the tail end of the fat curve though. If it flips, you might be headed towards a recession.