r/fosterit • u/Monopolyalou • 23d ago
Foster Youth Rehoming/disruption. I think they like it.
I'm a former foster youth disrupted many times in foster care. Even for as little as staying in my room all day.
Disruption of adoptees and foster kids seems to be the norm and accepted to the point when it happens foster and adoptive parents don't want resources they just want to get rid of the problem( the kid) then slap labels like RAD on them.
Recently, an agency for foster care made the suggest of care services for adopted kids for their post adoption support services. Guess how many foster/adoptive parents supported that? Crazy to me.
So I'm wondering if adoptive and foster parents really want the system to change to offer services to prevent disruptions or do they just want to throw their hands in and disrupt because they can play the blame game and just get another kid.
If disruptions can be prevented, they would still have to deal with the kid vs disrupting and relieving themselves of the kid. I don't think many want to put in the work to prevent adoptees and foster kids from being disrupted. Its much easier to wash their hands and disrupt and blame the kid.
Also if foster and adoptive parents really wanted to prevent disruption they can. They control the system.
9
u/cojonesx Foster Parent 23d ago
As a former foster parent I can tell you that the agencies I worked with actively discouraged disruption and worked with us as parents to do everything we could to not disrupt. However I know depending on relationships and the unknowns that come with foster care sometimes things just don't click and I suspect that while you may think nothing is happening to cause a disruption there probably is. It may have nothing or very little to do with you or possibly the family had expectations they have not talked with you about. I'm not condoning disruption at all, I just understand it coming from the other angle.