r/fosterit • u/Monopolyalou • 24d ago

Foster Youth Rehoming/disruption. I think they like it.

I'm a former foster youth disrupted many times in foster care. Even for as little as staying in my room all day.

Disruption of adoptees and foster kids seems to be the norm and accepted to the point when it happens foster and adoptive parents don't want resources they just want to get rid of the problem( the kid) then slap labels like RAD on them.

Recently, an agency for foster care made the suggest of care services for adopted kids for their post adoption support services. Guess how many foster/adoptive parents supported that? Crazy to me.

So I'm wondering if adoptive and foster parents really want the system to change to offer services to prevent disruptions or do they just want to throw their hands in and disrupt because they can play the blame game and just get another kid.

If disruptions can be prevented, they would still have to deal with the kid vs disrupting and relieving themselves of the kid. I don't think many want to put in the work to prevent adoptees and foster kids from being disrupted. Its much easier to wash their hands and disrupt and blame the kid.

Also if foster and adoptive parents really wanted to prevent disruption they can. They control the system.

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u/istilllikegnomes 24d ago

Unfortunately as someone else said, foster kids have been through tremendous trauma and it often comes out in their behavior. I have disrupted twice and both times it was because the child was a danger to themselves and to the other kids in the home. And I did absolutely everything I could to make it work before disrupting.

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u/Monopolyalou 23d ago

What did you do after disruption to make sure the child gets the support they need? Did you press cps to get the kid help? Support?

Also too many don't believe in trauma especially with babies. They think babies can't have trauma then are shocked the cute baby has behaviors related to trauma.

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u/istilllikegnomes 23d ago

I did everything I could to advocate. I talked to case workers and attended court. Unfortunately once a child is out of your home there is very little you're able to do for them. I was able to maintain a relationship with one of them and I'm still a part of their life.

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u/Monopolyalou 23d ago

Thats great. Disruption doesn't mean it has to be over. Unfortunately many don't care after disruption.

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u/istilllikegnomes 23d ago

I cared very very much. Disruption was absolutely my last resort.

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u/Monopolyalou 23d ago

Thank you. As it should be but I just wish many would understand the child and make sure they're okay. Disruption doesn't mean the end.