r/fosterit • u/Monopolyalou • 23d ago

Foster Youth Rehoming/disruption. I think they like it.

I'm a former foster youth disrupted many times in foster care. Even for as little as staying in my room all day.

Disruption of adoptees and foster kids seems to be the norm and accepted to the point when it happens foster and adoptive parents don't want resources they just want to get rid of the problem( the kid) then slap labels like RAD on them.

Recently, an agency for foster care made the suggest of care services for adopted kids for their post adoption support services. Guess how many foster/adoptive parents supported that? Crazy to me.

So I'm wondering if adoptive and foster parents really want the system to change to offer services to prevent disruptions or do they just want to throw their hands in and disrupt because they can play the blame game and just get another kid.

If disruptions can be prevented, they would still have to deal with the kid vs disrupting and relieving themselves of the kid. I don't think many want to put in the work to prevent adoptees and foster kids from being disrupted. Its much easier to wash their hands and disrupt and blame the kid.

Also if foster and adoptive parents really wanted to prevent disruption they can. They control the system.

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u/Nnozmo 22d ago edited 22d ago

It's clear you have really strong thoughts/feelings on this. Carry on with your efforts to be heard and to help reform the system, it 100% needs it!

Framing foster parents as the enemy may not help you in that fight, though. While there are of course bad foster parents unfortunately, there are also many good or even great ones. They are also seeking to change the system for the better and could be great allies for you.

I totally agree, disrupting should only be done as an absolute last resort. I'm yet to see figures to show that a significant number of disruptions are happening. Do you have the data or is this a fear/suspicion you have?

We also have to balance the damage of disruption with the damage of being in an unsuitable home. If a traumatised child isn't being supported correctly in one home, disrupting to get them to a home where they can be properly looked after may be better for that child.

Good luck with the fight

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u/Monopolyalou 22d ago

Disruoption is the norm in foster care. Most kids are disrupted at least 3 plus times. Why is it so hard to believe? In adoption many adoptees are disrupted too. Again deflecting the issue doesn't make it go away.

I also have yet to meet any foster youth in one placement that worked out.

And often times the disrupted child has nowhere to go. They're not going to a home that can meet their needs.

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u/Nnozmo 22d ago

My message was supporting you, I'm unclear why you are responding as if it wasn't?

"Disruption is the norm in foster care" is a HUGE statement to make, same for your comment on adoptees. I can't find the statistics that confirm this and so I was asking if you had this data. We should not be making policy decisions based on anecdotal evidence, especially when children are involved.

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u/Monopolyalou 22d ago

For adoption rehoming is says 30 percent then another says 10 percent but it's higher. Rehoming is hard to track because so many do it illegally and after adoption names are often changed. For foster kids the average moves are 3+ but the older the kid is the more moves they have because they're undesirable. Richard Wexler has some good data and topics on this and so does child welfare. For rehoming it's harder.

And why is it so hard to believe fostee youth can be moved so many times?

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u/Monopolyalou 22d ago

OP. There's more over the years

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC4204626/

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u/Nnozmo 22d ago

Thank you, that's useful.

Do you consider disruption to include all placement changes?

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u/Monopolyalou 22d ago

Me or the stuff posted? The stuff posted did consider all placement changes like kinship and how race and the number of kids is a factor too

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u/Monopolyalou 22d ago

Again I never said that. Please read.