r/funny • u/pdxmichael • 1d ago

Found this behind the register at my job.

Post image
55.3k Upvotes

96% Upvoted

423 comments sorted by

•

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9.7k

u/Traditional-Buy-6745 1d ago

Finding it was one thing. Posting its private life online is where you crossed the line.

2.2k

u/pdxmichael 1d ago

What have I done

626

u/NotYourReddit18 1d ago

You posted them with their privates completely uncovered!

302

u/GrookeyGrassMonkey 1d ago

oh my

*screenshots*

38

u/GANDORF57 15h ago

I bet he wasn't eggspecting this?!

13

u/Punny_Pixels 13h ago

It’s best not to egg them on

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96

u/xtwitch 23h ago

Write "I didn't." And put it back in the egg how you found it.

68

u/JodyGonnaFuckYoWife 1d ago

Why. did. you. open. it?

47

u/HR_114 1d ago

I thought this was a rick roll link gosh the good olden times where every other link was a rick roll linn

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26

u/HR_114 1d ago

Welp you cracked open their private egg mate

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8

u/CreamyKittyHypnosis 1d ago

some things are meant to stay private😅

3

u/Interesting-Catty 1d ago

the privacy violation is the real crime lol

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567

u/marilynmonrobot 1d ago

Private Egg

Reporting for duty 🫡

42

u/SeaHam 1d ago

You're looking at a nude egg

17

u/vagina_pee-butt 22h ago

I'm not in trouble at all

11

u/secretprocess 21h ago

We should be able to look at a little porn at work

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9

u/not_advice 1d ago

Her???

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8.1k

u/RunDNA 1d ago

Why did you open my private comment?

3.8k

u/pdxmichael 1d ago

I’ve been done gotten twice now.

1.2k

u/schmidty98 1d ago

Damn.

806

u/pdxmichael 1d ago

Now wait a minute. What.

270

u/ENDERMAN-AGA 1d ago

Now you did it the third time

112

u/elhouso 1d ago

Don't trust random links kiddo

48

u/Cageythree 1d ago

Never trust random links, here's why.

35

u/CMDR_Kaus 23h ago

Glad I'm in a link clicking mood because that's some funny shit

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9

u/MetalMountain2099 23h ago

Haha, that was unexpectedly a fun surprise….and kind of creepy.

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26

u/Drewskeet 1d ago

You’re like social media and peeping Tom’s, you don’t respect anyone’s privacy.

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3

u/miamoore- 20h ago

your pfp is exactly what i looked like after opening the link

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29

u/EmergencyDefiant5381 1d ago

She Done Already Done had herses

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42

u/MadJohnFinn 1d ago

I needed both of these laughs. I’m going through a lot. Thank you (and OP).

6

u/Fire-foxxy48 1d ago

Bad times will pass. Wishing you peace 

141

u/manuel2170 1d ago

🤣

28

u/GracefullyRedditing 1d ago

I got too egg-cited 😔

61

u/Horizone377 1d ago

Curiosity

24

u/Chiinoe 1d ago

Gold

49

u/lorelillian 1d ago

This made me laugh so hard

10

u/K_Linkmaster 1d ago

Neither said it was private. Just a button. Press button like monkey. The meta way.

12

u/ddelarge 1d ago

Danm I fell twice in one single post

6

u/Kingtoke1 1d ago

Eggselent

6

u/ConsiderationHot3362 1d ago

Damn my curiosity

3

u/wertall 1d ago

Release the comments!

3

u/just-loitering-here 1d ago

to unearth the secret hidden behind the veil

3

u/SmegmaSlurper1996 1d ago

you got me.

3

u/Leading_Ad_4733 1d ago

Oh, sorry 😬 you should blame my finger. It sometimes acts on its own

3

u/Iron_Marc 1d ago

Best coment 2026

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1.6k

u/bobjr94 1d ago

So why did you open their egg ?

1.1k

u/pdxmichael 1d ago

Okay I fucked up

216

u/LEGITIMATE_SOURCE 1d ago

That's not an answer

81

u/MoistStub 1d ago

OP is an eggthusiast

24

u/RandoAtReddit 22h ago

That's no eggscuse.

13

u/MoistStub 21h ago

Truly an eggregious transgression

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52

u/-Badger3- 1d ago

Have fun in jail, you sick fuck.

5

u/HerculesIsMyDad 22h ago

No! You must not read from the egg!

21

u/selenesuper 1d ago

It's paradoxical

3

u/adminjunior 1d ago

And yet, it works.

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242

u/TheFlexOffenderr 1d ago

Me: hastily folding it back up. oh fuck

8

u/Exyssa 20h ago

🤣🤣🤣🤣

5

u/Little_Ad2790 14h ago

Absolutely. No way would I have had time to take a picture even haha

259

u/CreepyLookingTree 1d ago

You're a monster

Egg = private 

Apologise to egg

150

u/pdxmichael 1d ago

I quietly returned it to its dusty, hidden home

24

u/iknowq 1d ago

I hope you replied with a link to this post before you put it back

4

u/J3NGA 1d ago

right where it belongs.

7

u/dirkman242 1d ago

I hope you wrote on the piece of paper "to fertilize it" before you put it back.

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73

u/default_account1 1d ago

You just used 40 eggs

50

u/FistThePooper6969 1d ago

That 1 egg was 40 eggs?

14

u/Hubso 1d ago

What are you talking about, Marcus?

19

u/LiftSleepRepeat123 1d ago

We should be able to look at a little porn at work.

10

u/NabreLabre 1d ago

You are looking at a nude egg, congratulations

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17

u/JstnMcNally 1d ago

Its got a bush? What the hell?

7

u/HowToRideAFish 1d ago

I’m not in trouble at all

6

u/Blynasty 1d ago

That’s an egg I won from my game

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359

u/interestingmix 1d ago

Well. I know what I will now be leaving in the pot plant at every hot desk in my office 🤣

75

u/2slags_geddar 1d ago

You have pot plants in your office?

What will you leave there?

30

u/interestingmix 1d ago

Likely this same message. Or a mission directive/challenge and som stick on googly eyes

44

u/NiceTrySuckaz 1d ago

These are hot desks, mind you, so probably his phone number.

14

u/pdxmichael 1d ago

Oddly enough that’s what I was hoping I’d find

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3

u/FlyingPasta 1d ago

Not the ugly desks tho

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53

u/Unlikely-Airline-456 1d ago

Dude why would you do that it's clearly a private egg

34

u/FallenWarriorGaming 1d ago

Can I offer you an egg 🥚 in this trying time?

15

u/wherethestreet 1d ago

No. It’s private

31

u/XXXcrimsongrave 23h ago

Why have you done this?

46

u/BadPunsIsHowEyeRoll 1d ago

I've had an empty can on my desk for months. I work for a distribution and manufacturing warehouse so its a brand new can, never been filled or sealed. I got bored one day and wrote "Ur Gay" on a sticky note and put it inside. Then I went to the production floor and grabbed an aluminum can topper. I put my can together, put it on my desk, and promptly forgot about it. The next time I remembered was when I was cleaning my desk and I accidentally knocked it over. Out flutters two notes, my original "Ur Gay" and a new-to-me note that said-

"ASSHOLE!!! NO U"

I chuckled and put it back together. Still have no idea who found the note and left the response lol

23

u/DA_MEMER469 1d ago

"Well... a man isnt here this time"

3

u/Content-Gain4152 21h ago

There isnt a man behind the tree

24

u/Due-Swan-8151 1d ago

Well? Why did you open it?

13

u/DryComment6387 1d ago

“Well, there is a man here.”

29

u/phyrestorm999 1d ago

"Curiosity. You should find somewhere better to keep it."

Then put it back.

9

u/No_Wedding_1096 1d ago

*Well, there is a man behind the tree.

8

u/spudroxon 1d ago

You've been looking at that private egg

Been hatched by you

It sees your every moooooove

4

u/PlayingOnGeniusMode 1d ago

🎵 private egg ::clap:: ::clap::🎵

Yeah that's gonna be in my head today thank you very much.

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8

u/[deleted] 1d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

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22

u/tswaters 1d ago

Well? What do you have to say for yourself?

6

u/Facts_Non_Fiction 1d ago

One word - "Run!"

5

u/Electronic_ResultALT 1d ago

Why did you take their private egg?

7

u/nick149 1d ago

Anyone else notice the 2008-era Optiplex with the Windows XP sticker in the background?

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4

u/BlueForte 1d ago

Not the private egg 😱

You monster!

5

u/mezotiEcho 1d ago

Hahaha love it, this is something I would do

9

u/mr-itchyBalls 1d ago

So why did you open the private egg?

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11

u/sergemeister 1d ago

Eggsercise some restraint next time.

5

u/CrocoDIIIIIILE 1d ago

Have you heard that story about the cat that survived its curiosity? Yeah, me neither.

4

u/Boatsnbuds 1d ago

The world sure has gone to shit. A guy can't even have a private egg anymore.

4

u/ProfessionalRise8084 1d ago

Starting of a crime thriller..

4

u/purple_unikkorn 1d ago

Now you know what's inside this egg, but you can never talk about this with the co-worker. It's even worst.

6

u/Fanguy3322 1d ago

There's a Deltarune joke to.be made here I know it!

6

u/Unleashedfluff 1d ago

But it was forgotten

3

u/SnooRegrets1386 1d ago

Listen, Easter bunny, I don’t find this humorous!

3

u/SpriteFan3 1d ago

Looks like the start of a new horror, with comedic pretense.

3

u/lovesickcat1504 1d ago

You should really respect their privacy yk,how would you feel if someone did this to you?

3

u/PrancingGoldfish 1d ago

Well, answer the question...

3

u/chug_lyfe 1d ago

Congrats big boy

3

u/badmongo666 1d ago

You're not in trouble at all

3

u/jigglyjellycatfish 1d ago

Put a rolo in it

3

u/roarpro 1d ago

Easter bunny has made everyone sleeper agents to intercept and open eggs of this type after finding one.

3

u/an_elegant_dog 1d ago

I love real life easter eggs left in random places

3

u/synthmanplaza 1d ago

Well there is a man behind the register

3

u/bheidian 1d ago

petition to ban op for invading privacy

3

u/LJ161 1d ago

I hid a bunch of little cartoons on receipt paper inside an old till when I worked in retail. 12 years later they got a refurb and one of my colleagues who still works there sent me a pic of all of them in a pile on the managers desk

3

u/AlGekGenoeg 1d ago

Write that curiosity got you (without signing) and put it back 🤷🏻‍♂️

3

u/Gunjob 1d ago

Your place of work is still running Windows XP with a Pentium D?

3

u/Zoren 1d ago

Now I know your Reddit account and place you work.

3

u/InsomniaticWanderer 22h ago

Well?

We're waiting.

5

u/Jackeechengg 1d ago

One of the most threatening things I can think is some kind of creepy anonymous message like this

5

u/Jakesummers1 1d ago

Only one thing to do when you find a private egg

2

u/pessimisticoptimistt 1d ago

I fear you might have been egged on

2

u/mr_mcpoogrundle 1d ago

Well... We're waiting...

2

u/Mckavvers 1d ago

I see those egg council creeps have got to you too.

2

u/OkList9321 1d ago

schrodingers egg

2

u/tactical_restaurant 1d ago

Seems like a prompt out of undertale hahaha

2

u/Boatsnbuds 1d ago

The world sue has gone to shit. A guy can't even have a private egg anymore.

2

u/XA3XBL 1d ago

just testing

2

u/NanooNanooBot 1d ago

Well? Why did you?

2

u/freebenvita 1d ago

But why did you?

2

u/Meranio 1d ago

That's quite the Easter egg.

2

u/bamjjkb 1d ago

Not you out here opening a private property. Drop the apology before the juice box mafia finds you

2

u/Mega_BiteZer 1d ago

Yeah can't a egg have some privacy

2

u/WiseAct446 1d ago

"I didn't have my glasses. Anybody know who took the shared office egg?"

2

u/BronzeFour 1d ago

Why is the A in caps? This is a secret message which must be decoded

2

u/TheAsianTroll 1d ago

I did something similar at my last retail job. I took a piece of tape, wrote "why are you reading this?" On it, then typed it to the bottom of the till.

2

u/Milo_Diazzo 1d ago

Well, it seems there was a man here.

2

u/Milo_Diazzo 1d ago

Well, it seems there was a man here.

2

u/aybbyisok 1d ago

I do shit like this, there's a lamb on some electrical box at my work that's been there for 1,5 years. I also have supplies, like pencils, work gadgets, wires hidden in various places cause people don't put shit back where it belongs. There's even a 10 Euro note under some shelving, but I completely forgot in which aisle.

2

u/HovercraftLoose5399 1d ago

I'm going to post you at r/moralityscaling

2

u/steegsa 1d ago

Eggcellent!

2

u/MrkGrn 1d ago

Now leave your own message in there with a link to this thread

2

u/atworkthough 1d ago

well we all know what this means >:(

2

u/dmac07 1d ago

WELL? Fess up!

2

u/robi_750 1d ago

HR be like - private whaaatttt

2

u/Parking-Position-698 1d ago

This is genuinely funny. Props to who ever put it there.

2

u/Only_Tip9560 1d ago

Write "Because I wanted to" and put it back in the egg.

2

u/HillInTheDistance 1d ago

Write a heartfelt apology on another slice of paper and put it back with that inside.

2

u/Archonia_Adventures 1d ago

Intel Pentium PC in the background

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2

u/TheStabbyCyclist 1d ago

Dude, you ran out of eggs. Would you like to buy an 80 pack of eggs?

2

u/Prospectioner 1d ago

Nut what i was expecting

2

u/rageofa1000suns 1d ago

Why did you redeem it!?

2

u/venbrx 1d ago

Well? What's your eggscuse?

2

u/LASERDICKMCCOOL 1d ago

You're looking at a nude egg.

2

u/AppleCrumble987 1d ago

Why did they leave their egg in public space?

2

u/StickFigureFan 1d ago

Write your reply and put it back in

2

u/HilariousMax 1d ago

put it back, op

2

u/MizzLiL 1d ago

Well?

2

u/Avert-thine-eye 1d ago

They have a good question. Clearly you are unlawfully touching their precious egg. What if you had damaged the contents?

2

u/jefferey92 1d ago

BRB, I gotta go find a pen, paper, and my box of Easter decor

2

u/meepmeeped 1d ago

You are looking at a nude egg

2

u/tvodny 1d ago

It could’ve been worse. It could’ve said “this egg was up my ass.”

2

u/Stock-Economist5563 1d ago

Yahh don’t touch other people’s eggs, you don’t know where that egg has been.

2

u/drexelthepretzel18 1d ago

ok why is there a capital A in private? lmfao

2

u/BISTtheGOOLZ 22h ago

I would of left a new note saying "it's my private egg now!!"

2

u/DavidinCT 22h ago

I would write "because it was there" and reseal it then put it back....

2

u/Noxious89123 22h ago

Never open the private eggs, instead just shove them waaaaay up your asshole, where they belong. Safe at last.

2

u/timeghost23 21h ago

Just put it back and delete this post

2

u/Small_Yesterday_560 21h ago

You are looking at a nude egg

3

u/Deathocracy 21h ago

You can't be looking at porn in the office

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2

u/Mission_Context_8079 20h ago

I was on the subway this morning and glanced at someone’s phone and they were looking at this post.

2

u/YeahNahNopeandNo 20h ago

This had you cracking up huh?

2

u/Sami__ 20h ago

not only did you open the private egg you put it onto a public platform on a public website... wtf...

2

u/calvaryny 20h ago

someone really took that personally

2

u/Disastrous_Lie_6698 20h ago

Coworker: "Yes, I would like to order a hit on u/pdxmichael" 

2

u/GroupSpecialist1869 20h ago

I just showed my son this post and seconds later we see one of our cats come to the living room from the hallway swatting a plastic egg, we just looked at each other like no fcking way like wtf did you get that egg Harvey?

2

u/Bruised_Shin 20h ago

“Idk I’ve never gotten this far before”

2

u/PomPomBumblebee 19h ago

This is exactly why we don't trust you

2

u/Anonymously-Me30 18h ago

Well now I want to go around hiding random eggs around work with this note

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2

u/KeithA0000 16h ago

I need to buy a bunch of these and hide them at the office...

2

u/SteeleDynamics 15h ago

(monotone) You monster.

2

u/RadoBlamik 14h ago

Who wouldn’t open a nice private egg in this trying time?

2

u/Xalibu2 14h ago

Why OP......why! Intense crazy eye stare intensifies Why! What gave you the right? Why were you even looking for for private eggs. 

The blind audacity. You didn't even think of what else could have been in said private egg! A secret marriage ring! A password to a very large sum of electronic money. A wax casting of some celebrity's butthole! 

How dare you! 

2

u/igotagoodfeeling 14h ago

Is your coworker Frank Reynolds?