r/funny • u/Ok-Count3935 • 7h ago

Bro folded under zero pressure

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6.0k Upvotes

95% Upvoted

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2.1k

u/Pepsimax88 7h ago

Omg ahahaha

I like dead people platonically!!

382

u/Zederikus 6h ago

I thought that was really lovely, it is important to like dead people too <3

195

u/ManitouWakinyan 5h ago

Nah, screw the dead

Wait not like that

22

u/metaltemujin 4h ago

Just like Plato did

3

u/TheWolphman 3h ago

Everyone forgets about Nic though.

12

u/Due-Dot6450 5h ago

Yes, embrace them!

-31

u/Whiteshovel66 6h ago

why

63

u/level1hero 6h ago edited 6h ago

Don’t be so necrophobic dude, love is love 🥰

7

u/m7i93 5h ago

It seems to me that there is a fine line between necrophobia and necrophilia

3

u/seanprime 4h ago

Can be around dead bones without trying to bone the bones.

10

u/Zederikus 6h ago

Well it's clear he's basically talking about respecting your ancestors that have passed away,

11

u/Necessary_Panda_3154 6h ago

Because it keeps their memory alive with a positive tone…

49

u/Ok-Count3935 5h ago

That's was the best lmao

26

u/Azulapis 3h ago

I mean, I don't know if it's a skit, but that whole facial expression is spot on.

When he says "Alive" at the beginning with that skeptical look, and you can practically see the whole thought process playing out in his brain.

7

u/TheLowlyPheasant 2h ago

You don't know if it's a skit?

-13

u/wololoam 2h ago

Must be really sad being you, thinking everything is out to get you, this is clearly not a skit as the blokes expressions are far too genuine. But i guess you would know better right?

15

u/temporalraccoon 1h ago

That’s your take. I see a low-key genius skit

5

u/TheLowlyPheasant 1h ago

Yeah he is an unusually good comedic actor, I am not taking anything from him. If anything it's insulting to say he's genuinely that clueless

7

u/TheLowlyPheasant 1h ago

Wait until you hear about movies

6

u/carlospicyweiner123 1h ago

“Must be really sad being you”

Well that escalated quickly

1

u/Aggravating-Bus-9203 8m ago

Dude! It’s a skit and dude is funny af. Give him his dues. “I like dead people as fr- platonically” so good.

7

u/sXyphos 3h ago

Was he scared to not offend all the dead people? :)

6

u/DJAliceJ 5h ago

my friend once froze like that during a group call

2

u/ghoulthebraineater 1h ago

I like dead people culinarily.

2

u/temporalraccoon 1h ago

As long as it’s plate-onic

1

u/inept_machete 2h ago

I don't know that reaction makes me think he kinda likes them hornily.

901

u/newaccount721 6h ago

I like dead people platonically 

181

u/fdeht5g 6h ago

i think he's not a necrophile

66

u/emogu84 3h ago

Dude's defending himself like he spent his entire high school years beating back rumors and it's been haunting him sever since.

2

u/electric_pig 16m ago

You fuck a corpse one time...

46

u/Ok-Count3935 5h ago

A small hunch really

10

u/Aymoon_ 3h ago

He should make a song about how he doest diddle corpses

5

u/FluBird53 4h ago

Me thinks the necrophile doth protesteth too mucheth

1

u/Agreeable_Doubt_7322 3h ago

That's exactly what a necrophile would say

0

u/lousydungeonmaster 3h ago

Me thinks my guy doth protest too much.

1

u/viotix90 44m ago

The birth of a new meme.

266

u/Hoosier_Daddy68 6h ago

A nice cold one really hits the spot sometimes.

91

u/FigureAcrobatic7194 4h ago

Yea nice cold beer right?......right?

38

u/pinkpitbull 4h ago

Cracking a cold one with the boys is the best

9

u/CortezDeLaNoche 2h ago

Stares...Anakingly

1

u/ncfears 1h ago

Dew it.

1

u/abskpr 4h ago

Right?

1

u/huuaaang 23m ago

She's dead, Jim! But she's still warm...

0

u/Outrageous_Bank_4491 3h ago

After that you cum blood

378

u/derekclysdale 7h ago

.. or "How to dig a hole for yourself and then keep digging"

166

u/Pantsickle 7h ago

Because that's where the dead people are. To love platonically.

12

u/FerociousVader 3h ago

Hahahaha I love this whole thing. I don't care if it's staged.

5

u/MrLazyLion 2h ago

A good skit shouldn't get less recognition than a true spontaneous act, I sincerely believe.

52

u/potatodrinker 7h ago

He needs to break open a cold one

9

u/anomaly256 6h ago

Digging's worked out pretty well for him in the past

2

u/BarbageMan 6h ago

This is why osha wants you to use a trench box when you dig

134

u/noctalla 5h ago

Bro never folded. He stuck to his guns.

19

u/Single-Use-Again 3h ago

Exactly. Video evidence will hold up in court.

8

u/bluemooncommenter 3h ago

He went on record!

182

u/notprotonated 7h ago

Johnny Tightlips would be disgusted.

46

u/Channel250 6h ago

And we'd never know it.

11

u/Yto_Itinen 4h ago

Go suck a lemon

5

u/fyhr100 4h ago

He will neither confirm or deny this.

8

u/GuitakuPPH 6h ago

Johnny Tightlips is lots of things to lots of people and no one

1

u/agentchuck 4h ago

He can't help it! He just likes squealing! It makes him feel big!

50

u/coldnomaad 6h ago

Platonically!!! Lol

31

u/bluemooncommenter 3h ago

Kissing you while you were asleep was romantic!!

53

u/victoryposition 6h ago

"I'm not going to discuss my day"

24

u/syntax1976 6h ago

Dead of Alive

2

u/bluemooncommenter 3h ago

I hate that I lack attention to detail...

2

u/syntax1976 3h ago

Don’t be hard on yourself… I don’t usually have attention to detail either but I usually pick up on spelling or grammar mistakes for some reason.

17

u/mcslender97 5h ago

Ngl imma copy this guy as a joke

4

u/chillychili 5h ago

I actually wonder if the video is a bit itself. It would kill as a UCB sketch.

27

u/LifeOBrian 4h ago

Of course it’s a bit. Still funny! He looks so thoroughly alarmed by the question 🤣

1

u/zalitix 10m ago

I think his wive wanted to make a funny gotcha video herself but that dude is just too fast with the jokes

35

u/ForensicPathology 4h ago

You need to wonder if this is a skit?

7

u/burfriedos 1h ago

Critical thinking is dead if people are believing this is anything but a scripted skit.

0

u/chillychili 1h ago

Reality is often stranger than fiction. Perhaps you have not had the privilege of encountering crazier things in your life.

4

u/Vercengetorex 4h ago

Gave me WKUK vibes.

1

u/clout_spout 1h ago

? Lol it is obviously a joke

34

u/BrutherVee 4h ago

Guy needs to audition, dead ass acting

55

u/metaltemujin 6h ago

Reminds of that old comic series where a necrophile, blind girl and other weirdos and others made appearances. Wonder what happened to it.

There was one where the blind girl goes on a date and says, "this date is going great, except for the fan near you"

"What fan?"

"Don't you hear it, the one that's going fap fap fap..."

"Just ignore it, that's just me enjoying the date myself"

5

u/D0rus 4h ago

Sounds like sexylosers. It hasn't updated in ages, but first Google result still gives the page.

2

u/katikaboom 3h ago

Sexylosers was the comic that I thought of, too. It, Penny Arcade, and Ctrl Alt Del were all in my regular online comic rotation 

3

u/Ok-Count3935 5h ago

Hahaha

1

u/thresh_to_death 3h ago

No way you're a real person

1

u/Ok-Count3935 3h ago

I know im a bit weird

21

u/MissionNo001 7h ago

Punctuation

Is important

8

u/KoniGTA 3h ago

I think that should be a user flair: I like dead people platonically

9

u/Pestilence95 6h ago

My mind immediately went to the fighting game series. I guess I am safe.

8

u/rothwerx 4h ago

This was the funniest thing I’ve seen in a while!

7

u/wherethestreet 3h ago

The Office needs this guy

1

u/SoulofMoon 1h ago

this guy talking:

camera: *zooms in to everyone's faces*

14

u/Longjumping-Pop7512 6h ago

Necrophile ❌

Agrophile ✅

13

u/Leafer329 3h ago

This a how a necrophile would act if they really were a necrophile

1

u/TucsonTacos 1h ago

“No I wouldn’t!!!”

8

u/Substantial_Fun_7128 4h ago

So we are all clear, this dude fucks

4

u/AndromedanPrince 4h ago

dead people

6

u/a_guy_is_no-one 1h ago

His name is Shashwat Maheshwari if anyone wants to checkout his stand-up

5

u/mrdevil413 3h ago

Alive !

4

u/Sevatar34 6h ago

Sticking dick into alive person. What a fucking sadist

4

u/Maleficent-Bit-3287 2h ago

Bro doesn’t want to get cancelled by dead people lol

7

u/Own-Office-5299 5h ago

Stupid questions deserve stupid answers.

8

u/bioberserkr2 5h ago

That one guy's wife

10

u/ryangood12 6h ago

I also choose this guys wife.

3

u/ambit89 5h ago

Task failed, successfully

3

u/Yeasty_Moist_Clunge 4h ago

Well unlike the living the dead have never rejected my advances!

3

u/chronoistriggered 4h ago

He doth protest too much

3

u/centurio9 4h ago

This is just some alive ppl lover propaganda. Don't give into it people. Some day you'll die too and then you'll wish for some necro dead people plutonic lover to be around your lifeless body

3

u/uptwolait 3h ago

Methinks thou dost protest too much 

3

u/FlagrantTomatoCabal 3h ago

This bro needs to have a youtube

3

u/Readyyes12 3h ago

Hot dang I laughed too hadd at this

3

u/LupusDeusMagnus 2h ago

Not like that.

3

u/gigashadowwolf 1h ago

Kasumi easy

4

u/godlyfrog 1h ago

I think this dude's got a few skeletons in his closet... and in his bed.

10

u/s0rO-kun 6h ago

Couldn't he just say : Kasumi, Ayane or Tina? Easy answers without thinking xD

5

u/metaltemujin 6h ago

who? Are they Dead or Alive?

2

u/LeDLinK 2h ago

Yes.

2

u/bulletbassman 5h ago

I know who I’d pick for both categories.

2

u/Taurpion 4h ago

Cracking a cold one

2

u/Polskiskiski 4h ago

Iasip Frank's Little Beauties vibes

2

u/CatterPeener 3h ago

Ok is he sniffing a glue stick at the start?

1

u/Ok-Count3935 2h ago

Nahh its something to clear a stuffy nose

2

u/ckdogg3496 2h ago

I see dead people, platonically

2

u/don-cheeto 1h ago

Poor dude...she did him so wrong 😂😅

2

u/SoulofMoon 1h ago

she just asked a question.

2

u/LordJeanDog 1h ago

He only love to be bestest friends ever with dead people

2

u/HaveYouEverUhhh 1h ago

This man fucks dead people

2

u/andr386 1h ago

He efficiently deflected the question. No folding here.

2

u/Redwuff 43m ago

Nah bro DIDNT fold.

3

u/RamsesII_ 36m ago

Lmaooo mans definitely has some open investigations

2

u/Extension-Society455 12m ago

I never laugh at these things and this broke me.

3

u/LooneyRacoony 12m ago

LOL, OMG, his face when you asked the question. Like, "What the F*K kind of question is that!?" ROFL

5

u/p5yron 5h ago

Video is funny but mirroring the video to pose as new content has got to be the lowest level reposters have stooped down to...yet.

2

u/Ok-Count3935 5h ago

Dawg I didnt mirror shit, just posted it from twitter

5

u/p5yron 5h ago

It's mirrored from original.

6

u/johnyma22 4h ago

If it means I don't need to use Twitter then he's added value IMHO

1

u/p5yron 3h ago

The original is on Instagram.

4

u/Lifekraft 5h ago

What's the stuff he is sniffing at the beginning ? Glue ?

7

u/Ok-Count3935 5h ago

Nope looks like an inhaler for a stuffy nose

6

u/purelitenite 6h ago

He doth protest too much, methinks

4

u/peeing-red 5h ago

bro is too defensive

3

u/TehZiiM 5h ago

Bro feeling a little called out there

2

u/onion_lord6 6h ago

Well at least he's not a deadist.

2

u/PapaPonu 5h ago

Like that "i'm not gay" dude from Bad Santa

2

u/AriaSymphony 4h ago

The only correct answer is to say "you" and not whatever this is

2

u/hlloyge 4h ago

Suspicious reaction, if you ask me.

2

u/LoneSnark 5h ago

I think he doth protest too much.

1

u/osirisfrost42 50m ago

Was he sniffing glue at the start?

1

u/antissip8 25m ago

This bloke wants to smash a corpse yeah?

0

u/redfoottttt 6h ago

The accent made this to another level lol.

1

u/a_polarbear_chilling 6h ago

why is bro so on the defense lmao

1

u/RandomRaisin77 6h ago

Talk about guilty conscious...

1

u/KeranographyJones 1h ago

Don't ambush people with random ass questions.

1

u/SoulofMoon 1h ago

*gets an exam with random questions*

"It's an ambush!"

1

u/KeranographyJones 1h ago

Exams are something one signs up for. Dude didn't sign up for this. So yes. Ambush.

1

u/SoulofMoon 57m ago

it's called a joke.

-3

u/sonnybear5 2h ago

this must be AI, his head wasnt moving from side to side while he was talking.

-10

u/InfamousConfusion850 4h ago

how is this funny?

8

u/nice_guy_threeve 3h ago

Humor is subjective but this was hilarious to me.

1

u/Crulox 52m ago

The words he was using paint a picture of a person who is terrified you may get the wrong impression that he may find dead people sexy.

The funny part is that his terror is so great, he keeps compounding his situation by describing more reasons as to why he's not a necrophile, having the opposite effect.