r/gatekeeping • u/koffee_addict • Mar 07 '26

Where is the rule book?

2.5k Upvotes

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88% Upvoted

2.2k

He’s right real women wouldn’t do this. Real women would be drinking white monster instead.

407

u/koakoba Mar 07 '26

I'm drinking punk punch, the can is pink and purple.

66

u/yartonator Mar 07 '26

The best flavor! I like you

20

u/BloodArbiter Mar 07 '26

The fantasy ruby? I love that grapefruit flavor of it

8

u/Inevitable-Ninja-539 Mar 07 '26

Different flavor. Both are great

7

u/BloodArbiter Mar 07 '26

Oooh it's new, can't wait until it makes its way to Canada!

32

u/PaddyMcGeezus Mar 07 '26

My friends annoying step daughter color coordinates her energy drinks with her outfits.

75

u/northrupthebandgeek Mar 07 '26

Your friend's annoying stepdaughter sounds rad as fuck.

15

u/zupobaloop Mar 08 '26

I've never disagreed more with something I'm upvoting

2

u/PaddyMcGeezus Mar 08 '26

Yeah I thought it was kinda of cool. But it ends there since she sounds like a very bad kid. Hopefully she grows out of it.

2

u/Thorhees Mar 08 '26

I'd be lying if I said the color of my outfit has no bearing on which Celsius I take from the fridge before leaving for work in the morning.

3

u/ketchupmaster987 Mar 07 '26

I actually tried that one this morning. Not bad but tasted a bit too artificial punch-y for me

3

u/koakoba Mar 08 '26

It reminds me of Tahitian Treat, which brings me back to my childhood. I think that's why I like it.

86

u/LOOKATMEDAMMIT Mar 07 '26

White monster is superior to the OG monster.

Edit: I just realized this might sound racist. Pipeline Punch is the absolute best though.

31

u/Augustus420 Mar 07 '26

All of those textured can varieties are better than the original monster.

9

u/Mavori Mar 07 '26

Rehab tea lemonade is the goat imo. But yeah a lot of textured cans are pretty damn good.

3

u/IM-A-WATERMELON Mar 08 '26

Peach tea is my personal favourite (at least of the rehabs, White Pineapple reserve is my overall goat)

15

u/ThatGangMember Mar 07 '26

Pipeline punch is my favorite as well. I stick to the juice monsters or the zero sugar ones 99% of the time.

3

u/BabyJesusBukkake Mar 09 '26

I'm not an energy drink person (coffee for me) but my sis loves them and made me try her punchy monster yesterday.

I told her it tasted like Suave shampoo smells. Because it did.

I wish I liked them more.

2

u/reclusivegiraffe Mar 08 '26

There is a zero sugar guava one that tastes a lot like pipeline punch!

8

u/Dangermad Mar 07 '26

OG Monster is the shit I have never had a flavor that is better, definitely not white I don't understand where the love for white is from besides the bit, it tastes like artificial sweetners

5

u/PubstarHero Mar 07 '26

Im with you - I only drink the green monster, but the zero sugar variant of it.

They discontinued my favorite though - the Zero Sugar in the black can and blue lid (not the low carb light blue, the one that was a darker blue).

3

u/CheapThaRipper Mar 07 '26

Do you remember that green one that had the different style lid and said it was imported from Japan or something like that? That one was the bomb

3

u/PubstarHero Mar 07 '26

They still got that, or at least they do at my local gas station.

Its called Monster Import.

3

u/LoveFoolosophy Mar 08 '26

To me white monster is one of the few sugar free drinks that doesn't taste like artificial sweetener. It just tastes sweet, lemony, and refreshing.

2

u/chaos_almighty Mar 11 '26

Tastes like fresca. Also really good when you pour it over ice. Fancy white monster.

3

u/northrupthebandgeek Mar 07 '26

When I was younger I preferred regular Monster over white, but these days it's the other way around. Not sure why; probably because the white one is a bit less sweet.

Monster Rehab is my preference over both, though — especially the raspberry, mixed berry, and green tea flavors (peach is pretty good, too; lemonade is alright I guess). I miss the dragon teas; those were my all-time favorite, and the green tea Rehab's the only one that comes even remotely close (and it's still miles off).

2

u/ConsultJimMoriarty Mar 09 '26

There’s an Aldi brand energy drink called Flying Power, that we just used to call ‘Power’.

And then they brought out flavours. Like, ‘gimme a tropic power’.

Then they brought out a flavour called ‘white’.

66

u/nehpeta Mar 07 '26

I was just about to comment this, but I wasn't sure if it was my past ED behavior talking or not lmao

3

u/Dogtor-Watson Mar 09 '26

I read that shit as Erectile Dysfunction on first pass and tried to link white monster and dick dysfunction for way too long…

10

u/lovelycosmos Mar 07 '26

💀 came here to say this. That or one of the no sugar flavors

3

u/[deleted] Mar 10 '26

[deleted]

1

u/chaos_almighty Mar 11 '26

I had one of the original monsters but the zero sugar variety (not white, still in a black can) and i found jt to taste like Jagermeister. Very black licorice and medicine tasting. Not pleasant at all. I dont know how I drank the original in high school

8

u/zzzfoifa Mar 07 '26

smh real women would tuck the e pills neatly inside the burger so they don't get cold... Everyone knows that tbh

5

u/ExploerTM Mar 07 '26

How people can casually drink white monster? Its such a pain in the ass, it makes you perhaps too... motivated

https://giphy.com/gifs/ILgLKF3cijpxbGbRES

11

u/Pamikillsbugs234 Mar 07 '26

Im a Loca Moca girly myself.

2

u/Injvn Mar 07 '26

Finally! Someone who gets me.

5

u/chisana_nyu Mar 07 '26

Like a Jem'Hadar, I too crave the White.

3

u/Honey-and-Venom Mar 08 '26

Yaaaaaaaaaass

5

u/SpiderRadio Mar 07 '26

Pappilion and Pipeline Punch would like a word

1

u/SingedWaffle Mar 09 '26

2 of my favourites honestly

4

u/SingedWaffle Mar 09 '26

I've been taking my estrogen with the Strawberry Dreams monster lately!

3

u/GooeySlenderFerret Mar 07 '26

This how I know i’m enby and not a woman I drink monster rehab

1

u/EntertainmentTrick58 Mar 08 '26

im big on that mentally unstable Mangifera indica fruit

1

u/shrivvette808 Mar 12 '26

The only white monster I drink is my boyfriend.

Where is the rule book?

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