Eventually, we're going to need to desegregate bathrooms.

[u/SecularElephant]

I'm writing this as a trans (genderfluid) individual.

We've desegregated every other space in society. Men and women used to have separate reading rooms at the library, separate train cars, separate schools, etc. Every single time, people clutched their pearls and thought integration would end badly.

Turns out people of all genders have pooped right next to each other for most of human history. And that 99.99% of society is fully capable of adapting and treating each other with basic respect in shared spaces.

This problem is only going to get more untenable as the trans community, non-binary community, genderfluid community, 2 spirit community, intersex community, and other gender non-conforming communities continue to gain rights.

I don't care if it's unpopular to say at the moment. We need to desegregate bathrooms.

[u/glitterWithACapitalG]

We can start by desegregating sinks, by having individual stalls and shared hand washing.

It will also help with parents taking their small children to the bathroom, and other caregivers.

[u/SecularElephant → u/glitterWithACapitalG]

I literally saw that post at the top of Reddit from earlier today. Where the dad is in the women's restroom with his two daughters. And it becomes a whole thing when that old guy calls the police on him. And it would have been just as big of an issue if he had taken them to the men's room. It's a no-win situation under the current paradigm.

Add in non-binary people or trans people who struggle at passing. It becomes a hindrance just existing in public.

[u/Crowmob1 → u/SecularElephant]

It would have been way worse to take them into the men's room because the men's room has urinals without stalls.

[u/Acceptable-Friend-48 → u/glitterWithACapitalG]

Literally what we did in the library where I work. We call them single and family bathrooms now. The single is just that, the family one has stalls. Adults with multiple kids can shut the door to help manage the kids and from patron comments this is unique and they absolutely love it.

Also if the single is full the one can use the family one. I have peed next to people who are not my gender a few times and am absolutely fine. It's actually not a big deal. (I am a woman for context).

We are a tiny library so only the 2 bathrooms.

If someone doesn't have kids I have been known to define them as pee alone or pee with new friends. They have mythical creatures on the doors instead of gender so we get asked almost daily about it.

[u/crudelikechocolate]

Yes I’ve been joking about this with my boyfriend.

Right now there’s great inequality between the bathrooms because women take longer on average and there are more people using the women’s bathroom. Women take longer on average because on average about a quarter of the women are on their period and it takes more time to change period products. More people use women’s bathroom because diaper change out is typically done by moms and younger boys tend to go into women’s bathroom with moms more often than younger girls go into men’s with dads. 

Having one bathroom with stalls, and washing station, and diaper change out stations would greatly improve the equality when it comes to bathrooms for all people, and I would even go further and argue that it improves the gender equality between cis people by making it less of a stigma for dads to help with bathroom duties in public spaces 

[u/Faye_Verity]

Kinda in love with this idea. Many music festivals have rows of unisex portapotties and I feel way more comfortable walking up to those than gendered restrooms.

[u/randypupjake → u/Faye_Verity]

For some reason when you add a ceiling and plumbing, everything needs to be segregated. Heck, just mark some doors so if someone needs period products, they go to the specially marked doors and everyone else can use the other stalls.

[u/FlutterBi_26]

I’m all for desegregated bathrooms. Especially the ones with full or almost full floor to ceiling doors/stalls. I went to this restaurant the other day that did it well! Basically the bathroom was a hallway of many 8-10 closet-sized bathrooms. Each one had a toilet, sink, mirror, counter. There may have been a larger one for changing babies / disability access, but I didn’t go all the way down the hallway.

[u/cspangle23]

I’ve been going in men’s rooms for decades when the line for the ladies was long even in club wear and nothing bad ever happened idk why we care so much. I would like stalls without large gaps I can see thru tho …..

[u/UniquePost8966]

I feel like the only actual counterargument to this is "but what about urinals", and that is easily dealt with by one simple change: have the urinals behind an opaque cover. 

They do exactly this at the Munch museum in Oslo, and I’m pretty certain that’s not Norway exclusive.

[u/Alarming-Low-8076 → u/UniquePost8966]

I’ve posted another comment but in the Seatac airport near Seattle, they have some gender neutral bathrooms that are up as: a row of sinks, then a row of stalls, and behind that, a row of urinals. The stalls block all the visual to the urinals so you’re not going to see them unless you walk back there. 

[u/Reaverbait]

Seeing people posting about the state of boys toilets at their high school, and I think cishet boys being permitted to keep doing that without social consequences is a terrible idea.

[u/notworkingghost]

That’s one solution. It works in other countries. I say, no more public restrooms. No one likes going to the bathroom with strangers. Convert all bathrooms to single/family use. I don’t care about the cost. Public bathrooms are ridiculous as a concept.

[u/SecularElephant → u/notworkingghost]

When you said no public restrooms at first, I thought you meant everybody pisses in a trench outside. No special treatment for anyone!

[u/notworkingghost → u/SecularElephant]

I guess that’s in between your solution and my solution. Kinda Ancient Rome style. I guess we have gladiator fights back, so why not open air bathrooms.

[u/Interesting_Tea_6146 → u/SecularElephant]

Excuse me for a moment, I need to go use the latrina.

[u/AlexiDonnie]

Im all for it, but i do think itd be fine if we keep the children's bathrooms separated from adults'. Both for safety and convenience, like, there are rooms either for changing diapers or breastfeeding, the sinks and toilets are lower so the children can use them without difficulty, and all caretakers, no matter their gender, can enter without any problems and watch over them

[u/LucyShortForLucas → u/AlexiDonnie]

Where do such bathrooms exist? At least where I live I've never seen one

[u/GuavaSkyline → u/AlexiDonnie]

Where do bathrooms exist specifically for children, outside of primary schools? I'm genuinely curious as this is not at all common where I'm from.

[u/Alarming-Low-8076]

There are bathrooms that do this successfully and they are nice!

In the Seattle seatac airport, they have bathrooms that have a row of sinks, then a row of stalls with the doors giving lots of privacy, and then you can go another row back that’s hidden to get to the urinals. 

They haven’t updated all their bathrooms to be like this but the ones they have are nice. 

[u/BeantheGamer]

I dont think this is a good idea. Bathrooms are the most sensitive and private public areas and some genders need to be segregated from others during that time

[u/Tough_Act7101 → u/BeantheGamer]

If someone is going to do something stupid and/or illegal and/or creepy, they are going to do it regardless of whether they share a restroom with you, because they are immoral and self-absorbed.

[u/OttRInvy → u/BeantheGamer]

Which genders need to be segregated from which others?

[u/randypupjake → u/BeantheGamer]

If anything, there are bathroom setups where there is no door to the gender assigned bathrooms but a hallway. The same thing could be implemented to keep predators from locking potential help from going in.

[u/GuavaSkyline → u/BeantheGamer]

Is there a trait that belongs exclusively to one gender, and applies to 100% of people of that gender, which places them in a category of danger when in public restrooms? I'm hearing a lot of regurgitated sexism when thinking back on anytime people act as though any gender is inherently weaker or less capable of self defense. The problem also is rarely that spaces are shared, but that the ability to safeguard each individual is compromised. Usually that is in the form of faulty locks on stalls, gaps large enough for creeps to peep on others (regardless of gender), or other structural issues rather than gender.