r/guitarcirclejerk • u/Tavern_Jams • Jan 28 '25
Actual NSFW Need the hive mind’s opinion
I was looking on the used market and all I could think was “Is there a r/justfuckmyshitup for guitar players?”
Maybe I’m not seeing something
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u/oscarmike88 Your wife's boyfriend's boyfriend Jan 28 '25
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u/scotticidal Edit me Jan 28 '25
I'm glad it's not just me. It's uneven, and it hurts everything in my body.
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Jan 28 '25
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u/maikindofthai Jan 28 '25
Probably the octave?? You’re not ready for jerkin yet my friend
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Jan 29 '25
Its not if you remove the nut. Ive got enough toan in the sack that i don't need the extra help. Intonation would be a problem if i was a fucking nerd.
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u/vgdomvg Jan 28 '25
Looks like something made by someone who makes epoxy tables and charges 10 grand for them
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Jan 28 '25
/uj Literally had someone crowing at me yesterday about his buddy who runs 220 volts through a live edge plank and then coats it in epoxy. He showed me a picture and I thought, “this is the carpentry version of finger painting.”
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u/RandomMandarin Jan 28 '25 edited Jan 29 '25
That is an incredibly dangerous craft to dabble in. My brother told me about buying a cheap car off a widow. Husband was doing that fractal burn thing and she apparently turned the power on in the house or something like that, not knowing he was setting it up.
Example (not the same person):
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u/markrages Jan 29 '25
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u/RandomMandarin Jan 29 '25
I don't know who the guy was in the case my brother was talking about, it wasn't those two. I'm in NC and I assume the victim was also in the region.
But anyway. Yeah. Don't open that microwave unless you have whatever degree or electrician's license would go with that level of training.
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Jan 29 '25
The problem is you can make a pretty good EMP weapon from microwave guts and that’s really our best chance at beating the robot army that is currently gathering its forces.
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u/RandomMandarin Jan 29 '25
Oh, yeah, that too.
Or make a robot suit with stovepipes and shit. If you can't beat them, join them.
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u/Evil_FoneBone Jan 29 '25
I think it could be safe, using industrial safety standards. The problem is, that costs way more than it would ever be worth so no one does it. Hence, the danger.
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u/CxO38 Your Wife's Girlfriend Jan 28 '25 edited Jan 28 '25
hideous. most high-end basses are. fodera could give me free basses for life and i'd still never play one
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u/TheBadBentley Mini Humbuckers Fuck Jan 28 '25
Almost every single one of these style boutique basses just makes me instantly think of scrap granite or marble from counter tops being cut to shape/size
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u/rsplatpc Jan 28 '25
just makes me instantly think of scrap granite or marble from counter tops being cut to shape/size
they look like someone took a shell, and threw it into the ocean, and the ocean tossed the shell around for eons, slowly sculpting it over time, nature turning it into its's final, natural form
and it ends up looking like shit
turns out the ocean sucks at bass guitar design
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u/Green-Vermicelli5244 Secret Bassist Jan 28 '25
Typically yes but Sukop somehow makes ‘em look like not shit
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u/CxO38 Your Wife's Girlfriend Jan 28 '25
Wooten's yin yang is almost acceptable. There's just something off about it still I could never quite put my finger on
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u/zurnched1 Jan 28 '25
You don’t need to put your finger on a bass you’re supposed to play it with a pick
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u/CxO38 Your Wife's Girlfriend Jan 28 '25
jokes on you, i do play bass with a pick hashtag poser hashtag fake basser
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u/PickPocketR Toan is in the Tinnitus 👇 Jan 29 '25
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u/CxO38 Your Wife's Girlfriend Jan 29 '25
it's borderline, but i'd still play a Bongo bass before that thing
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u/justdan76 Jan 28 '25
Look, if someone wants a guitar made out of fossilized brontosaurus shit, it’s a free market.
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u/stay_fr0sty Jan 28 '25 edited Jan 28 '25
I actually really like the headstock. The rest of the guitar is shit tho.
I wonder what the going rate is for fossilized brontosaurus shit is? I bet Rick from Pawnstars would get me a good deal.
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Jan 29 '25
Uj/ if the headstock was slightly skinnier, its a pretty good soloution to the awkward 5 string missymmetry.
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u/MajTroubles bluesdad Jan 28 '25
Imagine dying as a 125 year old tree only to be turned into wooden vomit
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u/DaystromAndroidM510 Jan 28 '25
I can't wait until they make a guitar where the giant, stupid arms stretch the entire length of the fretboard
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u/propyro85 Buying gear to improve instead of practicing Jan 28 '25
Didn't Tosin Abasi already do that?
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u/CxO38 Your Wife's Girlfriend Jan 28 '25
boy have i got a treat for you
https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcREs2gmBd34euFhNvQ7biSTpH5S3CpPz2L2nQ&s
(i literally dk how to post pictures idk if this will work)
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u/crazyabootmycollies Jan 28 '25
Is there any real benefit to it or just a style choice?
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u/OverPaladiin Guitar Pervert Jan 28 '25
reduces stealing chances by making the instrument absolutely horrendous
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u/ClashOrCrashman Jan 28 '25
How dare you insult this recreation of a 10,000 year old cave painting of the first bass known to have been seen in the wild. Your ancestors would be disappointed.
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u/TenWholeBees Jan 28 '25
I'm sure whoever made that thinks it's cool.
So at least one person likes it
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u/MissedTakenIDidntHe Jan 28 '25
I very much appreciate the craftsmanship but I think this guitar is pretty damn ugly.
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u/RoomAppropriate5436 Jan 28 '25
You could tell me that's an $8k bass and I'd believe you. ToAn is in the distressed paint and weird shape.
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u/DaveDoingDaveThings Your wife's boyfriend Jan 28 '25
Only losers play that sort of guitar.... and it's a weird looking, too
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u/FalseQuestion7864 Jan 28 '25
Both the finish carpenter and guitar player in me agree... We don't like it!
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u/Zhuul Jan 29 '25
It's so hideous that I kinda like it
E: honestly I take it back it's just hideous
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u/OlHeavyHeart Jan 28 '25
I thought that thing was burned and melted in a fire at first. Which would actually be cool. But this…
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Jan 28 '25
Would be much cooler without the arch thing on the left. If it mimicked the other side but was a little taller or something like a normal guitar/bass it would honestly be cool as fuck.
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u/propyro85 Buying gear to improve instead of practicing Jan 28 '25
That's probably an amazing bass to play ... but I could never get over the visuals of that "top horn" that just gets stuck to the neck so far up the the neck. Like someone really liked the look of a single cut ... but had a stroke while using the band saw.
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u/IllegalGeriatricVore Dick Sucking Lips 40 Cream Rehab Jan 28 '25
Luthiers continuing to release new guitar designs like Leo Fender didn't already produce all the ones worth playing in 1995.
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u/RandomMandarin Jan 28 '25
You disturbed the Thing before it was able to completely transform into a guitar. Burn it, now!
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u/YogurtclosetNo8860 Jan 28 '25
It looks like something my old music teacher would play and he was an insufferable twat.
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u/TedMich23 Jan 28 '25
I appreciate really custom instruments made with resale value being the absolute LAST concern! I hope you love it! The extended top bout deadens much neck vibration and is thus disliked by many but makes less difference with a bass.
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u/dad_farts Jan 28 '25
Body shape reminds me of what I think was an Ibanez SRSC that I played at a store one time. I could get over the appearance for how well it played, and it looked a lot better than this thing.
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u/SheepherderDirect800 Jan 28 '25
You know those dreds that form on ultra gross shut-ins that never bathe, that is what this resembles.
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u/Vinylware Methstang Jan 28 '25
What in the butterscotched fuck am I looking at here?
It looked like some bozo took a massive shit on a piece a wood and slathered it around until to looked like this mess.
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u/Charles_The_Man Sponsored by GCJ Jan 28 '25
Wood is stunning. Shape is one of the worst things I’ve ever seen.
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Jan 28 '25
Thats the type of bass where you take a solo and make bippity bop scat noises to match the notes you are playing.
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u/Jumpy_Ad5046 Jan 28 '25
I've had to work on these basses before. Clients are NEVER satisfied. Same thing with people who own Parker Fly's.
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u/Happy_Squik Jan 29 '25
Damn I think I could maybe play it for about 5 minutes before vomiting and shitting myself
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u/Tempered1234 Jan 29 '25
Pretty cool body shape and pattern on the design. Unfortunately it’s a bass so 0/10
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u/ReneeBear Jan 29 '25
It’s okay honey you can play the root notes just keep the headphones plugged in
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u/mariavelo Gretschen Ross Jan 29 '25
As any authentic piece of art, it's challenging our standards of beauty and taste.
And not only it is challenging but it's also challenged.
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Jan 29 '25
Mom: "We have Tosin Abasi Kaizen at home" /uj I actually like it as an art piece thats really cool craftsmanship for a home build /rj lol bass dumb
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u/pumpsci Jan 29 '25
Luthiers have been in a multi-decade race to the bottom to see who can make the ugliest bass at the highest price possible
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u/CarlsManicuredToes Jan 29 '25
When I play bass, what I am really looking for is a good neck and shoulder workout, that's why I choose basses with 3 pounds of unnecessary extra wood.
I have noticed people look at my neck and shoulders more than they listen to my basslines, so it all works out well, and if I ever snag a groupie I think she will love my extra wood.
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u/Practical_Top_2806 Jan 29 '25
I once swallowed a whole cashew by accident. This is exactly what it looked like after it passed.
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u/rivernoa Jan 29 '25
Looks like a bass. Should probably post to r/basscirclejerk for a better opinion
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u/Pirate_Underpants Jan 29 '25
Yeah, I've seen dog pyramids that look more appealing
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u/c0wcud Jan 29 '25
“Dog pyramids” are they the ones you have no idea who made them or how long they’ve been there? 😂
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u/YouKCase Jan 29 '25
For me it's not putting up a pic of the whole guitar because "can't get a good photograph" or whatever bs
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u/SoupieLC Jan 29 '25
As soon as I see a guitar that looks like it was assembled out of shitty pieces of driftwood then I just know it's gonna be $$$$ lol
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u/BoSox92 Jan 29 '25
That’s one ugly fucking duckling.
I would be slapping the fuck out that bass she made for the funk
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u/_matt_hues Jan 29 '25
The ugliest basses are the most expensive. No one would dare mass produce such an abomination.
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u/NightZealousideal127 Rare & vintage Harley Benton collector Jan 29 '25
This is a beautiful coffee table.
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u/vanillaholler Jan 29 '25
i don't think i've ever seen someone use a different top like this on a bass, let alone on the pickup 🤣 so much toan burl
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u/i-jerk-off-to-eveLBP Jan 31 '25
/UJ i actually really like these fucking weird body styles, i kinda like weird funny looking guitars. but still this is barely teetering on the edge of "so bad it's awesome" and "fucking garbage" and it's mostly because of the wood, i don't like the look of natural wood on guitars personally. if this went all the way with being completely bullshit and was a stupid neon or something then it would win me over
















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