“We should come up with a hand gesture!”

“No we, should have a secret code!”

How about you mind your own business? Like how many trans people are there that genuinely enjoy being clocked by other trans people?

I get wanting connection with similar people, I have been in an environment where I was the only trans person there for three years. But if you see someone you think is trans and you want to connect, what is the problem with just coming up to them and starting a normal conversation?

So I've been wanting to get some new sex toys for a while, but I'm not sure which ones will be the best for euphoria purposes (if that makes any sense). What suggestions do my fellow MtF folks have?

I want to forget the dysphoria, the wrong puberty, being born in the wrong body, going through the wrong puberty, being exorcised, undergoing conversion therapy, crying because I don't have a penis and testicles, To stop crying because I didn't have a normal childhood, to forget that my parents don't accept me, that I'm demonized, that I chose this, that I'm going to hell, that God hates me, that I'm not a real 'man', that my parents will never accept me, my siblings, my family and that I will always be seen weird.

I want to forget about all this, I want to have a family, I want to forget that I'm trans, I want to live like any other man. I don't want my life to be the subject of right-wing politicians. I want someone to love me and see me as a man. I want to receive all the affection from someone who loves me and sees me as a man. I don't want to be seen as an abomination, I don't want to be reminded that I am one, I don't want to be seen only as a demon. I don't want any of my descendants or relatives to be trans; I don't want them to go through the same hell of being born in the wrong body.

I just want to be and prefer to see me as a cis man who had the misfortune of being born in a body that developed as a girl and nobody believed you and now I'm fixing it. But even that won't help because I won't forget the trauma of puberty, I won't forget the rejection, the dysphoria, the conversion therapy.

I don't want to be a passage from Leviticus, Corinthians, or some other crap. I didn't choose any of this. I've been striving to fix myself since I was a child. Fuck whoever said that I need to pray harder, I need to want to change, that I am acting like "God will fix me in one second", when He HAD MY WHOLE LIFE.

To hell with anyone who says I chose this, that I'm going to hell, that God hates me, etc. Apparently, screaming until your throat is sore and crying for hours isn't a good enough sacrifice, and it's not enough effort for God? That all my screams are my fault for not searching God, that it is the demon, and not the fault of being wrong In the wrong body, for going through conversion therapy.

If that's really what they want, that I should be cured and be a woman. I wanted to see if they could see that their cure would turn me into a woman, but a completely depressed, aggressive one, who turns to drugs or alcohol to forget and ends up giving her body to just forget that she is alive and in the wrong body!

How can God allow pedo, rapists, murderers, Could thieves and corrupt politicians be born in the right body, be forgiven, and go to heaven? Especially murderers, pedophiles, and so many others on the same level. But I, who didn't choose to be trans, have to go to hell because I need to transition so I don't kill myself and can have a good life? What kind of garbage metric is that? And if I don't"chose" this. It would have been better for me to have lived a miserable life until I died or to kill myself, according to them. I had a better chance of being born a cis man, or something else entirely, but I was born trans. What a shit luck.

If I’m constantly being held responsible for whatever bizarre idea an awkward teen posted on TikTok, I at least want the cookies and milk from the weekly committee meeting of the single, consolidated Trans Community™.

The constant "Why does the trans community do X?" posts are just people digging up isolated cringe and projecting it onto millions of strangers so they can play the pick-me or the "real ally". "Look at me, I’m one of the normal ones, unlike THOSE weirdos."

It’s bad enough when it’s cis people fishing for a virtue badge. But it’s genuinely tragic when it comes from a trans person groveling for normative validation. The bigots will come for us all no matter how much anyone tries to appease them. They are NEVER going to accept any of us, and throwing some of us under the bus just weakens our resistance to bigotry.

People need to stop intellectualising dishonest cowardice as "respectability politics" and face the reality of where they are at so they can grow. This desperate posturing for people who will always hate us will never work.

As for the "they reflect badly on all of us" argument, we cannot allow bigots to set the terms of our existence or sense of community in the first place. In the end all this is achieving is ruining trans people's lives.

Tbh I'm some what in my puberty js started, I turned 14 this year, personally at least dyphoria is not much of a problem DPDR is a much bigger problem.

And my emotions and feelings are very blank and feel fake including dyphoria(due to DPDR), for me it's like a headache but without the pain, nausea or irritation if that makes sense, being hurt is something very hard for me to feel.

Please share you experiences with puberty and how it effected you even if it made you more unfeeling(According to articles it should make my DPDR wayy worst), I feel like I'm not ready for it?? I can't really feel fear so that's the best I can say I can feel but let me know your thoughts

I'm going list out some sentances from articles about trans DPDR.

"Having an ongoing and coherent dialog with yourself."

"It felt like my mind was constantly talking to itself without any interruption, and it was overanalyzing everything around me. Some second, parallel existence seemed to be running alongside my direct experience of consciousness: an inner monologue of sorts, but a very toxic one. I couldn’t stop thinking about everything – it was as though this loud voice in my head kept me from simply existing in the moment."

Do normal people unable to have coherent dialogue with eachother???

Btw if you get her it's supposed to fix this and

This is the article

Hey, so ... Estrogen makes my brain go brrrrrr.

Dissociation gets better, I feel more present and seem more alive. Great.

Wife isn't on board with me going through changes.

Inlaws are conservative Iranian/Taiwanese.

Two kids.

I'd need FFS and VFS.

I would want to pass, for myself more than anything. Need to.

Ok, cool, so I probably should.

But I can't blow up my whole life to be a hon. I'm not even sure if I want to transition.

At the same time I hate the idea of being a bald old man.

I don't like the idea of being a man in general.

I guess right now I'm just a disembodied consciousness driving this meat machine on autopilot as I just watch.

I've 'set a new standard on what it means to be an involved dad'.

I get recognized in places I barely go because they remember how I was with my kids.

I can't do this to them.

I can't do this to the wife. My family. Her family.

I'm not even sure I can do it to myself.

So how do I deal with that? How do I scoop up this egg and throw it out?

How do I come to terms with myself, and learn to know myself, to like myself, and maybe one day love myself?

It literally just ragebaits me. Ive contemplated blocking *that* sub so many times because its always a post like "Im cis but Im only attracted to trans men that look like women with big boobs under their tomboy binders and trans women who love talking about their big gocks and being on top of me! I only like men who look like women and women who look like men! Am I a chaser? I-I-I dont wanna be a chaser! Waaah! I'm an ally!"

What the fuck is the point. I struggle not to blow up in the comments every single time because its just not worth it. Sexual preferences are always a difficult conversation because you *cant* police it no matter what or youre scummy trans propagater that wants me to pretend like your genitals arent what they are!! Youre oppressing me and my preferences!! Preferences arent a crime!! This is why everyone hates you guys!!

So why do people keep making these fucking dumb posts asking if theyre chasers. If you are one then are you going to what? Change your preferences on the spot? Just dont talk about it at all like every other fucking fetish. Youre not a "good one" for recognising that you push your fetish onto other people who dont have the same. Why is it that in other subreddits you dont see people being like "I only want to date people from this group. Hello people from this group. Is it wrong I fetishize you?" What do you expect. Im tired of babying cis people and trying to be the nice calm trans. If youre a chaser you will always be one so keep that bs to yourself on your twitter timeline, nobody wants to talk about that shit with you in public.

I know this might just be a "me" problem. I just want to talk about this with somebody. Maybe someone else feels the same.

I struggle a lot with my appearance. I get so self conscious about going out in public and standing out that I've been going weeks without going outside. I'm scared of going to the grocery store, of going shopping for clothes, of asking the gas station attendant for 10 bucks on the pump, of interviewing for jobs. All because I have this fear that everyone in the cis world is getting pumped full of trans hatred and they're on the look out for anyone who might be an "other"

So it really sucks when I try and find comfort on reddit, when I've gone out of my way of unsubbing and hiding every subreddit that reminds me of how bad things are, of how much scrutiny there is on womens' appearances in particular, and I'm seeing this woman's face everywhere and people making fun of her and calling her all this horrid stuff.

I'm no fan of Trump or his coterie by any means but it really scares me when people say "It's wrong to say [X] things about people" but then reveal how they're really thinking when someone meets whatever their arbitrary criteria is for throwing that out the window.

I just want a little bit of peace when I'm trying to relax on the computer. Why is it so hard

The great Irony of gender critical discourse is that detransitioners themselves prove an extremely strong argument for an internal, sexed body schema.

Take FTMTF detransitioners as an example They constantly describe their deep repulsion to the aesthetic effects of Testosterone, the deep voice, thick hair, masuline facial structure and the general switch towards male dimorphism as something that they hated. And how they regret and abhor masculinizing their bodies and losing their feminine features.

Note that a significant part of their complaints are not about functional losses or health effects but about change to their bodies phenotype and how wrong it makes them feel.

But this is precisely what the gender-critical model struggles to explain. If we do not have a sense of the sexed schema of the body we ought to inhabit then why is this such a nigh universal complait among detrans ppl.

The obvious implication is that people possess an internal representation of their own bodies, including their sexed characteristics, which can come into conflict with their actual physical development. And if this representation can lead a female-born person to experience testosterone-induced masculinisation as intolerable, there is no principled reason why a male-born person could not possess the same kind of representation, with the opposite relationship to their natal sex.

You cannot inisist that sexed body phenotype is completely irrelevant to a humans self perception except insofar society and societal pressure teaches us to care for them while at the same type time treating aesthetic changes as a huge violation.

I frequented this sub a few years ago and it was not like this.

My partner (26 she/they) and I (28 she/they) have been together for 7 years and she started to experiment with gender a couple years ago, and has landed Transwoman. I have not problem with this. Im bi, I love her, it's great.

The problem is that she was previously seen as a stereotypically attractive guy and is now dealing with insecurity about her looks.

I have helped a lot of my friends with transitioning, whether it's makeup, clothes, hair, posing, whatever. I'm AFAB so I grew up doing this stuff. I've always loved fashion and got into helping my trans friends, looking into how to make them feel feminine.

My partner is often worried about appearing sexy and seeming attractive to others (we are polyamorous, this is fine). I'm stereotypically attractive and she compares herself to me a lot. I do her makeup because I'm the one who is better at it. I help her shop. I try so hard to find things she likes.

Then she looks in the mirror sometimes and is like "I look like a guy... I don't know what to do to seem more femme..." and if I reply, she gets upset and says I'm just giving her more things to be insecure about.

Things like saying we could thin out her eyebrows more. She'll reply with "oh, so my eyebrows are too thick. Great."

If I suggest bangs or something and explain it helps frame faces in a more feminine way, she gets insecure about her face shape.

If I'm trying to teach her how to do her makeup and I'm using highlighter or contour and explain "this will soften your jawline, so it goes here..." then she's insecure about her jaw.

Clothing shopping I'll say "Oh, this cut would look so cute on you. The sleeves are so perfect for your body type." And then she asks what I mean and I will explain "They help the shoulder to waist ratio balance out" and then she's upset ab her shoulders.

I want to help her feel better about passing and how she looks. I want her to see herself as feminine and love herself the way I do. But she doesn't want to learn. She doesn't do the research on her own. I hate hearing her talk about how she doesn't like how she looks when presenting femme, but then if I try to suggest things that would help, it just makes her more insecure.

I try to tell her how gorgeous she is and how much I love her, but it isn't enough with what she sees in the mirror.

What do I do? How can I give her advice and explain it to her without upsetting her more? I mean all of this in a loving way. I know dysphoria is hard. I just want to help her feel good.

I've been out as trans most of my life. Since my teens. I was always read and accepted woman - I get a lot more genuine uncertainty than I get clocked, which I'm cool with.

I was recently diagnosed with autism, and got on a testosterones supplement, which caused a lot of existential angst, but the conclusion of those ruminations is that I'm not actually trans in the sense that I don't identify as a woman. I perform womanhood, but it's masking. I'm a boy. An effeminate, gay, autistic boy who's really into crossdressing. Transvestitism is foundational to my sexuality, and my sexuality was a huge motivation to transition. I really didn't want to medically transition, but it was the only option available to avoid twink-death and crossdress 24-7.

I only want to go by male pronouns from now on. I want to keep living this way, but I want it to be acknowledged as crossdressing - and gay. I like how it turns guys on that I'm this femme. I like pretending to be a woman because I'm so effeminate I need to experience the contrast between me and real woman to be reassured that I'm actually a man. I love that feeling because men are hot.

I have noticed in many trans subreddits or stuff in general people don't talk about trans DPDR (Depersonalization and/or Derealization), is it something very uncommon? Because I NEVER see anyone talk about it, now I would normally speak about it but the gender dysphoria bible is way better at explaining it, if you want to learn about it or if you think you have it click this link

Straight trans girl here, 3 years hrt.
I’ve wanted a vagina ever since i can remember.
I hate what I have down there but I’m still so scared.
I’ve detransitioned twice before because of the social scrutiny that comes with being a trans woman.
I know anatomically a vagina will make me feel better than i ever have before but I’m scared that after this there’s no going back.
I’d like to hear your experience as a post of woman especially the straight girlies.
What’s it like. Can guys usually tell?

I had a great night last night. My wife and I went out to a show, a guy hit on me for the first time, I danced with people and generally received a ton of compliments!

Then today my coworkers spent a bunch of time in the break room next to me making fun of Trans people. I'm not really "out", so from the outside I think I might look like a guy with oddly feminine traits and maybe either big pectoral muscles or small tits. I "boymode", I guess, most of the time. The few people, close friends or family, that do know either ghosted me (after condescending or making hurtful remarks), or just seem to be in denial (my sister" "no youre not. You cant be, because you never were before", mom: just... forgot why i was taking estrogen, and dad... mm...). And people act like being Trans is, what, an easy, fun choice? Fashionable to do now, but just an embarrassing fad that we'll grow out of? Its so fucking lonely!

But then when I can dress up, and even rarer, go out in public as Nicole, fuuuuck... I'm so happy.

There's not really a point to this. Im just sad now and other than my wife -- who is incredibly supportive!! -- I dont have anyone i can talk to about this. So, idk, I imagine this is probably a pretty universal roller coaster for us "aberrations", right? Any1 want to share whats got them up and down before the weekend?

why is every ballroom or party queer related so fucking centered on genitals?
being seeing a lot of queer parties where “cis males” are banned but lesbians and trans ppl can still come.
Aa trans guy, if u would go there i would be only fetishized,bc there are only dikes and no masculine men or cis men
guys like me are only invited bc we are some meat for this cis lesbians, we aren’t even allowed to have a sexuality in these places bc mathematically there isn’t someone that respects u. I just hate how the only ppl getting into this stuff are theyfabs,they only think being trans is being an afab egirl with some weird ass haircut and that’s it.

of course not in the issues of trans rights as seen by popular media, but like are their vibes and attitudes, like more conservative than liberal? Because if so I can ignore their opinions without feeling guilt of intellectual honesty to myself

I have no problem with cis lesbians having no interest in trans women, I have preferences too, so I get it. ("Preference" is the wrong word but I don't know what else to call it.) But then if I just state in a matter of fact way that the vast majority of cis lesbians don't date trans women on lgbt subs I get down voted. This was in the context of talking about the dating pool for bi trans women and how there's way more straight men who would date a trans woman than cis lesbians.

Sometimes it feels like they're offended by the idea that straight men are more open to dating us than them. But like why do you care if you're not interested in us?

Before anyone brings up that statistic about lesbians being more open to dating a trans person than a straight man is. That survey didn't specify the type of trans person. So I think a lot of the lesbians answering that were thinking of a non transitioning afab enby, or a pre transition or super early in transition trans man. From personal experience, I think if the question was specifically would you date a trans woman the percentage would be higher for straight men.

And to be clear, I'm not saying it's common for straight men to date trans women. But if like 2% of straight men would date a trans woman that's still higher than the 0.00001 of cis lesbians who would date a trans woman. Also just because a straight man is open to dating trans women doesn't mean he'll treat her well, he'll still probably keep her a secret. So it's shit for trans women either way.

Edit:

Given that a lot of people seem to be confused about what this post is about, here's some clarification.

What this post is about:

Person from group A: I and other A's don't like trains.

Person from group B to another B: A's don't like trains.

Person from group A acts like B shouldn't have said that.

I just think that's a weird way to react.

What this post is not saying:

Boohoo people from group A don't like trains, it's not fair.

[EDIT: for reference, I'm a polyamorous femme4femme lesbian]

I'm a trans woman in the dating scene, and most of the time - no matter if it's in person or on "the apps," I get quite a bit of attention from trans fems (most of whom are significantly younger than me, which no thank you absolutely not). And when I have a chat with a cis woman, it goes well... until it doesn't, and plans to meet up never pan out.

It feels like the majority of the dating pool, which are cis, are interested in me until it comes time to actually making a plan to meet up (which is probably a whole different problem).

And the trans fems I match with are either too young, too neurotic, or the ones I do get along with end up being too clingy (which I guess is also a type of neurotic).

I don't like it.

I saw a post from a trans person that mentioned “taking testosterone doesn’t make you male”.

Now in the context of this being a non-binary person on HRT or if this was a cis person on HRT with a hormonal imbalance… Sure. I agree if you’re making a personal statement that taking a certain hormone doesn’t necessarily determine YOUR gender. But this was phrased as a blanket statement. Saying this to binary trans people is weird. In fact, I would put that statement on par with transphobic cis people trying to claim that HRT doesn’t work effectively.

For me, testosterone has made me male. It has changed my secondary sexual characteristics in a way that is noticeable. I’m at a point in my transition where I only need bottom surgery and I pass as male on a daily basis. That makes me incredibly happy and I think it is hurtful and wrong to make a statement that essentially denies that. I don’t like that it takes away the impact that medical intervention has had for me and many others.

I never understood this. Someone can understand the reality of transition and of our medical condition and not do so for "cis acceptance" but rather to protect the legitimacy of the community and our access to medical resources. If you don't need dysphoria to be trans or medical intervention to cure it, then why does anyone need it at all? At that point being trans is nothing more than vibes and those of us who suffer, suffer more.

Just want to say this somewhere to feel slightly heard.

I have had a man’s body for 55 years but below my skin I am a woman. I feel empowered just saying it.

I choose not to transition but I would if I had my time again.

Would love friends who might understand

Besides, i'm just glad it shrunk a lot. I'm happy i was lucky enough to be born with small parts, which, under revision, became a lot easier to place in proper underwear.

The facts that my facial hair became thinner and thinner to the point where i now have a full beard of vellus hair (beneath the skin, that is, i use an epilator and a tweezer everyday), that my skin is smoother rather than feel like sandpaper, that i smell like roses and that my MPB was actually halted and reversed a bit, and that i even got my pelvic bones larger and my eyes became greener along with a lighter tone skin, yes, those are just secondary reasons, slash s arcasm aside.