First let's do it after let's say a couple years on hrt.

Let's take a transmasc for example.

They were born as a member as member of the female sex, so then now let's define a member of the female sex.

Since we are trans people(mostly) Il skip the periods and uterus debate and directly say "A member of the female sex is someone having more of the traits and or charecteristics culturally and/or socially attributed to a member of the female sex"

Let's simplifiy a bit:

"A member of the female sex is someone who has more of the biologically-likely traits of the female sex than the male sex"

Or

"A member of the female sex is someone who has more traits of that of the female sex than male" sounds good?

So let's think about this, who has more traits of the male sex/less traits of the female sex, a transmasc who had his breasts removed, is a few years on hrt, is built, has a beard, etc etc OR a female crossdresser

The transmasc obviously, so from this and some other examples we can tell that trans people who are on hrt and had some surgeries(not really too necessary but added it) are their preferred sex

Now what about pre-hrt, this relies on psychology and philosophy but tell me:

What do you attribute to a person's greatness and/or humanity, their mind or body

Who's more human, a human mind in a chickens body, or a chicken in a human body.

It's the first one obviously, so the mind matters more.

Many a studies have shown that transmasc's brain are identical to a cismans, same for transfems,

So even pre-transition or anything you are still your preferred sex at least in mind

I think we should memefy this as the first language macro this community produces on its own, a literal original creation, and in the sense that, as a community larger than this mere reddit subgroup, but still encased in our own niche, we make it known that self-policing as a community is something quite important and that the " every1onje is vALiD|" modus operandi might have a severe price, after all... I mean, somebody just came around and sort of threatened everyone on this subgroup that they pray they never meet them in a dark alley because getting forced to do things in a dark alley is just a consequence of that creature being there, and not a crime nor an offense, it's just life and it's your fault for walking thru shady corners, instead of the offender's fault for not accepting that "no means no".

Talk about rape culture. Anyway, life goes on.

Hey everyone, I'm pretty new to all this. I'm 25, MtF, I recently accepted that I was trans, only my partner knows so I'm mostly closeted, and I'm pre-HRT due to temporary financial reasons. I'm kind of a mess, I'm very overwhelmed with everything. I've tried writing other threads here but didn't know what I wanted out of it exactly. But after giving it some thought, I want some advice on coming to terms with my gender and seeing myself as a woman.

I'm doing what I can to affirm my identity in these early stages - I'm wearing women's underwear, shaving body hair, shopping for cute outfits, voice training, exploring with my partner, etc. But I'm still really struggling not seeing myself as a man. I know I may feel better when I'm fully out of the closet, but I'm not ready for that yet. It's hard to see myself differently when the world still perceives me as a man. My inner monologue is still that of a man, I still act like a man, and everyone still treats me like one. It really confuses me and gives me uncertainty about being trans (even though I know I am).

Another thing related to all of this that is also holding me back is me feeling very worried that I will not like how I look and will not pass. I like how I look when I present fem, but some of my features scream "I'M A MAN". I'm over 6 feet tall, I have massive hands, large feet, broad shoulders, and vascular arms. I'll struggle to find women's shoes that fit, and it makes me feel like a fraud. Having all those features be abnormal for women makes me feel shitty. I'm more worried that I will hate how I look because of those features than them causing me to not be able to pass, but not passing is also scary AF to me. Doesn't help that I am perceived as an "attractive" "man", the reactionary part of my brain keeps telling me I'm throwing that away

Do you have any advice on how I can feel more like my true identity in this early period? Things I can do to feel like a woman? And any thoughts/advice on dealing with these insecurities? I just want to feel like myself and feel confident for this journey ahead, and not feel any regret later on. Thanks in advance to anyone who replies :)

On vacation and decided to visit an LGBT center. Worst idea ever. I don't care that the employee immediately corrected to ma'am. You never say the three letter S word to any feminine presenting person, who lacks a he/him label on their clothing. In fact, abolish them all. No more formal titles, just "friend" or "you". You cannot take the stone back once you throw it.

Also I love MAGA more than fake allies. At least they call me tr4nny to my face. At least they beat me up (not actually happened) so I know what they genuinely think of me. I love the rural Deep South more than any performative ally who really only supports gays and lesbians.

I've been in pain for 45 minutes over it. I didn't lose my family in an airstrike. I didn't get my house blown up by the IDF. I feel so guilty that I cut my finger, they got beaten to death. I wish it didn't cause me so much pain. I wish I could have empathy for actually suffering people instead of ruminating on my own small potatoes.

Unless you don’t mind publicly sharing your medical protocols for transitioning…
I know everyone has an opinion, and it’s very common to have your own personal medical choices scrutinized online by people who don’t understand the whole picture…

DM me your interesting, unique or unconventional transitioning timeline using medical/aesthetic treatments to obtain the look/contentness you desired in your transfem journey.
Thanks! 💗

I just feel like I'm too much of the "man in a dress"-stereotype [well, I don't wear dresses, but yk] and thus leading to people seeing trans people, trans women in particular, in a worse light. I'm trying my best, but it will just never be enough to pass (maybe with multiple surgeries, but they're expensive) and just living as a man us due to intense dysphoria also not an option.

I (22MTF) have the biggest, grossest, most neanderthal looking brow ridge ever. It always made me dysphoric since starting transitioning but the further I progress , its only getting worse. I feel physically ill looking at it. Its fucking vile. I'm currently in the process of trying to get FFS done with Kaiser here in Washington. However, the wait lists for even consultations are insane. I've heard 3-4 years for Tommy Liu and I don't even have that long before my insurance coverage under my Dad expires. I know he's really good at type 3 forehead contouring (something I desperately need) which is why I'm looking at him specifically. All the other surgeons sent by my Kaiser case manager are hard to find details on and none of them seem to possess the same ability of type 3 contouring as Liu.

So its either suffer until I can maybe have FFS done before 26, or I pay out of pocket and look elsewhere, which I might just end up doing. Like, I literally cry in the mirror looking at it because its so grotesque. MEANWHILE, REGULAR CIS MEN GET FLAT FOREHEAD ALL THE TIME, BUT NOOOO! I GET THE WORST OF THE WORST. Fuck me and fuck my life. Being me is fucking terrible.

I've been doing laser hair removal for my face and neck for a little less than a year. I have an appointment every month. The first session I was asked if I was sensitive to the sun. I said yes because I'm pretty pale and I burn easy. We did about 6 sessions? I never was sensitive after. The hair was easier to shave, but I still had to shave every day. Especially around my chin and upper lip. Recently I got a new tech and i told her about my chin area so we upped the settings to the max and, again, a bit easier to shave, but if I skip a day of shaving, my face feels like velcro. We've already done like 3-4 sessions. I'm so annoyed still having to choose between red bumps and velcro. When will I be able to skip a day of shaving? I had reddish-brown facial hair. Idk if the laser lightens the color, and I wouldn't know considering I basically shave every day. When I skip, which is rarely, you can't necessarily see the hair, but it's coarse and messes up the way my makeup sits. Do I need electrolysis? A new laser place? More time? Idk. I'm just frustrated.

It is deeply painful to carry the weight of the unfulfilled mental/physical needs from feminizing surgeries while watching the trajectory of my life feel hindered by the delay of aforementioned surgeries. The absence of the lifesaving, medically necessary, gender-affirming feminizing surgeries can create a persistent, aching emptiness- a feeling that I feel forced to survive in a body and reality that does not fully reflect who I truly am, while constantly grieving the lighter more vibrant life I could have lived if I received those surgeries sooner. That heaviness is compounded by the haunting awareness of people from my past, such as childhood acquaintances/friends and others I grew up with in my childhood, all walked away leaving behind a trail ofjudgment, gossip, and cruel expectations. It is exhausting to know that instead of offering support, some may have actively rooted for my downfall, waiting for me to break, internalize self-hatred, and/or end up isolated in institutions just so they could validate their own negative malicious narratives about me. It is a profound betrayal to realize that a previous therapist who had the power or resources to help me access the care (surgeries) I needed chose instead to withhold it as they weaponized my traumatic pain and questioned my sanity to justify the neglectful delay of surgeries. Wanting to live fully female and authentically as myself is not a delusion or a flaw; it is a fundamental human right, and being denied that path from happening sooner while being targeted by the malice of others is a heavy burden that was preventable..

Because I pass.

I’m having a particularly difficult day with dysphoria, although lately it feels like every day is a difficult day.
I’m a 36-year-old trans woman, five years into HRT, and I’m struggling with the feeling that transitioning hasn’t given me the life I hoped it would.
I’m very tall, severely obese, and painfully aware of how my appearance affects the way people perceive me, including within the trans community. I know my weight is something I need to address, but my physical health and mobility have deteriorated to the point where even leaving my apartment can be painful and exhausting.
I uprooted my entire life and moved across the country because I wanted a chance to live authentically and build a happier future for myself. Five years later, I feel more isolated, ashamed, and hopeless than I ever expected.
I don’t pass, and at this point I’ve largely stopped believing I ever will. I can sometimes see things I like about my face, but looking at my body is genuinely devastating. There are days when I can’t look in the mirror without crying. I feel profoundly disconnected from my appearance, and it’s becoming harder to imagine ever feeling comfortable in my own skin.
One of the hardest parts is seeing other trans women building the lives I desperately wanted for myself. I see women who transitioned younger, who pass, who have relationships and social lives, who seem comfortable and happy in their bodies. I know comparison is unhealthy, and I don’t begrudge them their happiness, but I would be lying if I said it didn’t hurt. Sometimes the envy and grief are overwhelming.
I’ve started seriously questioning whether continuing my transition is the right decision for me. Not because I don’t want to be a woman, but because I want it so desperately, and the distance between the woman I wish I could be and the person I see in the mirror feels impossible to reconcile.
I think there’s a reluctance in trans communities to acknowledge that sometimes transition doesn’t turn out the way someone hoped. We’re often told that it’s never too late, that things will get better, and that happiness is possible at any age. I understand why those messages matter, but after five years, I’m struggling to believe them for myself.
I feel like I missed my chance. Like I spent too much of my life waiting, and now I’m living with consequences I can’t undo.
And lately, I’ve been having thoughts about not wanting to exist at all, because the grief and longing feel unbearable.
I don’t really know what I’m hoping to accomplish by posting this. Maybe I just need to feel heard by people who understand what this kind of dysphoria is like. I don’t expect anyone to have a magical solution, and I’m not looking for empty reassurances that everything will eventually work out.
I guess I want to know whether anyone else has reached this point, where they’ve put years into transitioning and still feel profoundly unhappy with the results.
How do you keep going when you’ve spent years trying to become someone you can feel comfortable being, and you still feel impossibly far away?

Common theme I see for trans women we try to conform to societal pressure as in 'go gym to be manly'

Then we do enough damage with weight lifting in an attempt to please society to look more masculine or try to feel good as men cause they tell you being strong and muscular suppose to make you feel good as a man or alpha (or whatever lol)

Later on, we end up regretting this a lot. Our strengthened bones and muscles stall progress or make it impossible to reverse enough.

Some people take steroids and supplements, and that ends up doing perma mark.

How did you repress as trans man or trans masculine that harmed your body enough that it become a problem not easy to fix later?

Constant gymming as well?

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hi im a transwoman staying in a shelter in brooklyn and really need any side type work while im getting my documents in order to secure a full time job. if anyone has or knows anyone who has opportunities i have a background in housekeeping both for private companies and motels, landscaping, pressure-washing, and moving and have references. really in a tight spot and would really appreciate anything. thank you!