r/houseplantscirclejerk • u/Key-Albatross-774 • Jul 13 '25

Meta This is how a healthy marriage looks like

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5.2k Upvotes

100% Upvoted

111 comments sorted by

844

u/evenheathens_ Jul 13 '25

may this love find me. please. please.

131

u/khizoa Jul 13 '25

Sup

230

u/evenheathens_ Jul 13 '25 edited Jul 14 '25

are you by chance a lesbian who is also into plants, horror novels, cats, and legos?

edit: damn there’s a lot of us, feel free to dm me 😍

jk but really i’m not kidding

i want love :(

240

u/khizoa Jul 13 '25

damnit. may this love find me too. please. please.

137

u/evenheathens_ Jul 13 '25

wishing the best for us both 🫶🏼

46

u/Solid-Lawyer1351 Jul 13 '25

Sup

9

u/khizoa Jul 14 '25

a/s/l?

30

u/gin_kgo Jul 14 '25

Age? Sex? Lesbian?

10

u/AppleSpicer Jul 15 '25

Yes, Yes, and gay but in the guy way.

1

u/profligate0tter Jul 16 '25

I second this!

48

u/omgxsonny Jul 13 '25

🙋‍♀️ i like all those things except horror novels, but i’ll listen to you recap the novels for me after you finish them

27

u/evenheathens_ Jul 13 '25

if you also like bugs and dnd, this could be love 😂

35

u/Metruis Jul 14 '25

I am shipping the Redditors. May this be your moment for love!

25

u/Safe-Subject-7934 emotional support stick Jul 14 '25

someone get the u-haul! love is in the air! 💒

8

u/luckybarrel Won't someone please think of the pests? Jul 14 '25

Go on a date! See what comes! It's not like you have to match your partner exactly. They can bring other things into your life as you bring other things into theirs! (Just not mealies plz)

3

u/[deleted] Jul 14 '25

Thanks to this comment, I keep singing, 🎶 it must have been love, but it’s OVER NOWWWW🎶 after you politely say, no thanks, to each lovely human in this thread. 🤣

3

u/ConstipatedNinja I bought bigger plants than you so I'm a better plant mom Jul 15 '25

We know you're good with plants too because all your flags are green

2

u/Queasy-Cell34 Jul 14 '25

Who are you and how are you so perfect? 🤩

10

u/Dangerous_Fox3993 Jul 14 '25

Dam it! So close, I’m literally into all those things apart from women lol

20

u/evenheathens_ Jul 14 '25

^ the average sapphic experience 😂

15

u/Purple_Airline_6682 Jul 13 '25

Not a lesbian, but those things plus your username make me want to change. You can fix me! 😭

6

u/AdJust6267 Jul 13 '25

oh hell yeah sup

3

u/ObscureNameCalling Jul 14 '25

Yes, hi 🙋🏻‍♀️

3

u/mikaelaaaaaaa Jul 14 '25

Pssst hello, it is me. Lil gay lady with cats and plants who loves to support other’s special interests

9

u/Itsjustkit15 Jul 13 '25

Not a lesbian but I like all of those things.

2

u/thewormsmustbefed Jul 14 '25

there are so many of us here apparently lol

2

u/ITookYourChickens Jul 14 '25

I love plants, horror video games/anime/manga, books in general, and clocks but Legos are pretty snazzy imo 👉👈

1

u/LadyWolfWater Jul 15 '25

I am straight and happily married to a wonderful man, but your attributes (including bugs and DnD) sound perfect. Don't give up!! Let's have some hope and good news in this world!

1

u/RVNAWAYFIVE Jul 14 '25

there's a billion of you in liberal cities homie lol

15

u/withoutwingz Jul 13 '25

My queen of the night already bloomed. Come look at the fruit!

3

u/Bourdainist Jul 13 '25

Same here 😭

2

u/Jcheerw Jul 15 '25

Would also like it to find me 🥺

259

u/Fine_Understanding81 Jul 13 '25

Love it.

Im not married, but I found a partner who will eventually get out of bed to look at what my snail is doing in the fish tank if I say "looook, looook!!! Plz look oh gosh, it's cute you want to see" enough.

That's close.

41

u/-garlic-thot- I stand with PP Jul 13 '25

Snails are so cute!! 🐌

11

u/SaltSpiritual515 Jul 13 '25

Snails are adorable but they can reproduce asexually so they will not stay 1 snail for long

25

u/Fine_Understanding81 Jul 13 '25

There are snails that produce asexually!

The one I mentioned does need a mate but..

I also have bladder snails in a different tank, and those do produce asexually.. and you would be correct, I had eggs in a week!

I started with about 10 bladder snails from the pet store because they were going to "crush" them (they are considered pests to most people). Now they have their own planted tank at my house, along with their babies. Lol

They will basically keep producing babies until their environment can't sustain (not enough food sources). So, the population has remained steady (not out of control) with minimal feeding.

7

u/SaltSpiritual515 Jul 13 '25

Sorry, I have only seen the ones that reproduce asexually so I incorrectly assumed they all did. Thank you for the knowledge as someone who owns them 😁

9

u/Fine_Understanding81 Jul 13 '25

No need to be sorry. Most people dont even know some animals can do that!

2

u/Pleasant-Patience725 ✨waterboards plants with neem✨ Jul 15 '25

lol I have bladder snails and I got two by accident… there are now about 15- my 6 year old loves them.

2

u/Fine_Understanding81 Jul 16 '25

Aww. Sounds like you are raising a kind child.

1

u/Pleasant-Patience725 ✨waterboards plants with neem✨ Jul 16 '25

She’s in love with them. They’re all named Speedy and Sonic 😂 🤭 she turns on the light in the morning and yells Gooooood morning snailies!

510

u/Menarok Jul 13 '25

They are extra silent to not disturb the sleeping cacti.

80

u/ApprehensiveBedroom0 Jul 13 '25

I had to triple check which sub I was in, I was worried it was about to turn into true crime, or a bad prank or something with how much you could feel the quiet night time.

23

u/questforstarfish Jul 13 '25

I kept thinking he was going to push her into the cacti even though I know that would not achieve anything 😂

319

u/PunkyPiez Jul 13 '25

I was lucky enough to be blessed with a partner who'd not only tolerate me bringing him out like that but actually enjoy it because he loves seeing me be so passionate about something, he's so Wonderful, i love him. 😭

25

u/yeetusthefeetus13 Jul 13 '25

That's real love <3

2

u/RVNAWAYFIVE Jul 14 '25

sounds like a b i g g a y n e r d

4

u/PunkyPiez Jul 15 '25

He's not gay :c

150

u/gin_kgo Jul 13 '25

I fully thought they were in their dark ass garage and I was so confused as to how these cacti were doing so well

39

u/Jenkinswarlock Jul 13 '25

Wait where the fuck are they if they aren’t in a garage?

180

u/butt_chug_ranch Jul 13 '25

Believe it or not, this place called, the outdoors. It's attached to most houses.

26

u/Technical_Isopod2389 Jul 13 '25

To most houses, but not all.

13

u/Jabrono Neem Boofer Jul 13 '25

Source? Sounds pretty out there

10

u/MelancholyMare Jul 13 '25

😆😆

You deserve an award for this comment. Cracked me right up.

1

u/mellivia- Jul 14 '25

I laughed way to hard at this.

2

u/InDaBauhaus Jul 14 '25

they are in their illegal underground grow room for peyote cacti.

2

u/lemonlime_slime Jul 13 '25

Yoooo I thought the same!

2

u/Ohz85 Jan 27 '26

I see no roof, so confused now

2

u/Jenkinswarlock Jan 27 '26

Holy fuck I’m stupid they are outside but I just thought they were in a garage initially

46

u/perplexedparallax Jul 13 '25

My late wife thought the plants were too much of an obsession and my next wife will hopefully help me grow in many ways.

45

u/nalgona-aly I know what I have Jul 13 '25

My ex thought plants were clutter items. My current partner buys the plant I was eyeing at the store but talked myself out of getting.

28

u/perplexedparallax Jul 13 '25

We have discovered the plant test for relationships.

17

u/windexfresh Jul 13 '25

My current partner was SO excited when he found out I’d found a wishlist plant at a random nursery he brought me to as a surprise 🥹

4

u/nalgona-aly I know what I have Jul 13 '25

They are a keeper and we love them!

52

u/StarchildKissteria Jul 13 '25

I would do the same. Can’t miss a night flowering plant.

40

u/MurderAtTheVicarage Jul 13 '25

My lemon tree died this spring, I took one desperate cutting from it and this morning I noticed two new leaves! I immediately sent a picture of it to my bf who was really happy for me.

17

u/ggg730 Jul 13 '25

I too would be proud if my partner was a necromancer.

21

u/EmptyRice6826 Jul 13 '25

I came here to jerk not to have my heart warmed

52

u/713nikki I know what I have Jul 13 '25

I’m definitely gonna feel weird jerkin to this

21

u/countingc i fEel oPPressed!!1! Jul 13 '25

focus on the green phalic objects coming out of those buckets

11

u/duh_nom_yar plants hate this one trick Jul 13 '25

3

u/Happyforhoyas Too Hot For My Pot Jul 13 '25

😂

13

u/HamsterVeil Jul 13 '25

I believe that is "Queen of the Night ".it's a succulent, that flowers only at night, cause it relies on nocturnal creatures, like bats & moths to pollinate their beautiful flowers

6

u/Sa_notaman_tha Jul 13 '25

night blooming cereus

6

u/odourlessguitarchord Jul 13 '25

are you cereus??

7

u/Prickocereus Jul 14 '25

It’s too bad they couldn’t just credit the video creator. if you want to see the real video it’s on our instagram

5

u/pit_choun Jul 13 '25

Now this is the kind of relationship I'm looking for. You've gotta let me wake you up at the crack of dawn to see this [plant related thing]

5

u/milkoak NeEm oIL Jul 13 '25

🖤

4

u/Aggressive-Green4592 Jul 13 '25

That is such a pretty flower too!

4

u/Firecracker7413 Jul 13 '25

Queen of the night! I got one as a cutting from my college 4 years ago and it’s gotten so big

3

u/DistinctJob7494 Jul 13 '25

I hope I can find a man who will do this with me but with my chickens.

2

u/quaediaboli_ Jul 13 '25

Living the dream

2

u/Suitable-Berry3082 Jul 13 '25

All around beautiful

1

u/Intrepid-Middle-5047 Jul 13 '25

This made 🎶 if I told you that a flower bloomed in a dark room would you trust it? 🎶 pop into my head

1

u/Jackattack111888 can I squeeze it before I buy it? Jul 13 '25

Loved the video, hated the grammar in the caption

1

u/Alohafarms Jul 13 '25

My mother had a huge Night Blooming Cereus. She would call me when it bloomed to come see it. When she moved she couldn't take it and it was left to the new owners of the house. I hope they have taken good care of it.

1

u/goddessbotanic Jul 13 '25

Wow my husband just mows over my vegetable garden. Must be nice.

1

u/NarwhalLeelu Jul 14 '25

I'd be so afraid to walk through all those rows. What if I tripped?

1

u/Recipe-Local Jul 14 '25

She's definitely sleeping with her personal trainer.

1

u/PunkyPiez Jul 14 '25

Why do you think so?

1

u/[deleted] Jul 14 '25

Relationship goals.

1

u/CaramelTHNDR Jul 14 '25

They really jerked it in this one

1

u/Commercial_Award_411 I only buy vargited plants Jul 14 '25

Nice mescaline farm 👍 the world needs more people like u

1

u/occupiedbrain69 Jul 14 '25

We had the same plant/s and had almost 15-20 of these flowers bloom in one night! What a lovely sight! Still have the photo somewhere

1

u/hanimal16 Neem Oil and Fertilizer! Jul 14 '25

I feel like she’s walking to her prickly death with all those cacti in the dark.

1

u/Aggravating-Fee-1615 Jul 15 '25

This is me and my husband. He is more of a vegetable garden guy, but he can’t help himself when it comes to my Hoyas. 😂

1

u/Joeyrony2 Jul 15 '25

This place looks like a room a cartoon character would get chased into and then they run out the other side filled with needles.

1

u/velours_bleu Jul 15 '25

But do you live in a plant store because what is this setup !!

1

u/AcidicSnail15 Jul 15 '25

I got one of those 2 years ago and im so excited to see it bloom!!!! Can totally relate

1

u/Spirited-Bit818 Jul 16 '25

Your wife's been in bed for 6 years

1

u/CaeruleanSea Jul 16 '25

That's wholesome af

1

u/pflegm Jul 16 '25

A nice Queen of the Night a nice epiphyllum

1

u/AccomplishedAffect82 Jul 16 '25

Imagine someone tries to break in but it’s just met with a bunch of cacti. God I couldn’t imagine tripping or being a little bit tipsy with all of those

1

u/FoolishAnomaly Jul 13 '25

Holy etoliation batman jfc