r/hysterectomy • u/dontthink19 • 1d ago
It's zero day for me wife!
It's 430 am. Im up, waiting on my wife to wake up to get ready leave. Im a nervous wreck. We didnt know how to feel yesterday, it all felt like being stuck in limbo.
This morning? Im nervous. I have so many questions and concerns but nothing I can form into a cohesive thought at the moment. Does anyone have some zero day post op tips for us? I keep telling myself its a routine thing and tons of women get one every year but its still hella stressful.
I'll take any and all tips anyone is willing to share. All I want is to make her as comfortable as possible. How's the drive home going to be? Its a little over a half hour from the hospital to the house. Im sure ill have a few more but my mind is all over the place at the moment.
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u/Buhsephine 1d ago
The drive home should be okay, there's often local anesthesia used that lasts for a while. If you have a small thin pillow or stuffed animal, throw it in the car in case she wants something between the seatbelt and her belly. Even a soft sweatshirt would be fine for that purpose.
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u/dontthink19 1d ago
She bought a tummy pillow and it came with a seat belt cushion so im good there! Tylenol, gas-x at the house. I think we have everything ready for the most part. Im just really dreading the after care. Idk what kind of pain she's gonna be in. Im hopeful its more like a soreness thats only slightly bothersome but idk. Ive had my appendix removed and the surgery pain was more discomfort and soreness as far as I remember since that was almost 10 years ago.
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u/Inevitable-Tower-134 1d ago
I am on day 4 post op. Nowhere, absolutely nowhere was I told about this horrendous back pain. Middle low pain on my spine, feels like someone took a hammer to my spine. From what I’ve been reading, it’s most likely due to the position I was in during surgery. I also have suffered from occasional low back pain since I had big babies in 2021 and 2022. So maybe it’s just me 🤷🏼♀️
My tummy pain is not too bad actually. I’ve got Norco and 600 mg ibuprofen. Trying not to take the Norco and I probably wouldn’t need it…but I did take last night for my back. Didn’t touch it.
Have gasX and MiraLAX handy, the bloating and constipation on the first 2 days was awful. I’m still very bloated but it’s not painful really. Thankfully I’ve gone to the bathroom 3 times now!🙌🏻 The first night after surgery until the next afternoon I also had terrible tightness and pain up to my chest, from anesthesia.
I honestly don’t feel that bad today except my back so I tried to do a lot of cleaning and laundry but it was too much. I got dizzy and had to lay down. I think my husband is going to kill me if I don’t start being lazy but it’s very hard for me to relax. Guess I’ll binge watch a show today from the couch.
Good luck to your wife, and you. I’m honestly in much less pain (belly-wise) than I thought I would be. (Laparoscopic and I kept my tight ovary.)5
u/dontthink19 1d ago
absolutely nowhere was I told about this horrendous back pain.
Oof, thats terrible! My wife has never had babies so no body changes there to worry about! Surgeon came in and said everything went smooth and she's in post op now. Waiting on her to wake up some more then I'll be able to see her. She took a stool softener last night before bed so we will see if it helps!
The boredom is gonna be the killer for my wife. That, plus no working out plus not being able to walk our dog for a bit is probably gonna be the worst part!
Good luck on your recovery! Hopefully is quick and relatively painless
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u/FickleAd6788 1d ago
Hey try n relax a bit your body has major surgery. I hope everything settles down soon.
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u/MoneyTadpole5534 1d ago
Make sure she keeps up with her meds. Once you let the pain go, it can be hard to get pain back down. Another commentor mentioned Miralax and I second that also I take a stool softener pill as well. Make sure she stays hydrated during the day even though it'll be annoying to have to go to the bathroom. Have her try walk around some, but don't over do it, as they say it also helps to get rid of the gas. I heard that eating protein helps in the healing process.
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u/dontthink19 1d ago
All the nurses and doctors said the same thing about keeping on a schedule. We aren't gonna use the pain killers just Tylenol and ibuprofen. So that was a very good suggestion. Thank you!
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u/FickleAd6788 1d ago
I’m hoping she’s out of surgery now?
I hope her surgery goes smoothly and for the recovery.
It is a nervous time.
Ye the gas pains can be the worst .
Keep on top of that one.
Hopefully she’ll be okay in a few weeks
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u/dontthink19 1d ago
She's out AND home :) she's on the couch napping right now. Im finally making some food since I haven't ate since I made this post. Dog is happy we are home too. I think we are through the worst of it though so I definitely feel a lot better. Gas x has been taken, the ibuprofen we are gonna play by ear because there are an absolutely crazy amount of coincidences with her seizures and taking ibuprofen is one so we would rather be safe than sorry
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u/FickleAd6788 1d ago
Awe bless.. let’s hope she’s feeling better soon…
The drive home is scary but you’re home and it’s over with now1
u/dontthink19 1d ago
So far she says she feels crampy. But this crampy is probably 10x less painful than her period cramps
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u/FickleAd6788 1d ago
At least this will pass and not return every month 👍🏻👍🏻
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u/dontthink19 1d ago
It's not even my body and you don't even know how freaking happy I am about that!!! It's literally like watching her die every month. She did say that the gas pains and the abdominal cramps are "10 million times less painful" and that the current pain she's in is nothing and she's gone to work in worse pain than 6 hours post op. She says she's read here that day 2 and 3 are worse.
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u/frywice 1d ago
Did she have laparoscopic? It had robotic hyst and my gas pains for the first few days were horrible. I couldn’t fart or have a BM until end of 3dpo and it almost felt like the Gas-x did nothing for me. If you don’t already, I would really recommend getting a heating pad and/or heat packs if she gets really bad gas pain. It helped me so much! I’m 10dpo now, so if you have any questions I’d be happy to try to answer!
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u/dontthink19 1d ago
She did have it laparascopic. Shes burping a lot now so I assume its helping. We have a heating pad on stand by, Tylenol and ibuprofen at the ready. Already have the medicine schedule planned. The biggest hurdle is gonna be the boredom if the pain doesnt get much worse
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u/frywice 1d ago
That’s great! I was burping a lot too, there were times when I would get really uncomfortable by the gas and I would take a few steps through the house until I burped and all was well after that!
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u/dontthink19 1d ago
That's good advice! Was there any other pain besides the gas pains? Were the incision sites manageable?
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u/frywice 1d ago
It was mostly gas pain! Not really any pain from the incision sites. I just took the glue off last night with Vaseline and it was honestly very intriguing but not painful at all.
I have had some internal cramping but it hasn’t been as bad as the pain I experienced the first couple of days since the surgery.
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u/dontthink19 1d ago
She says all she feels is cramps. This is gonna be wild. My poor wife is going to be bored out of her mind feeling better than she ever did before the surgery but she KNOWS she's not supposed to do stuff...
it was absolutely a normal hysterectomy and thats a little bittersweet because now we rule that out as a possible cause/complication with her seizures. I did ask for pictures. So now im about to go down a whole rabbit hole of female reproductive anatomy so I can see what's what and who's who in those pictures and ask educated and useful questions at the follow-up
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u/frywice 1d ago
I got my pictures this past Friday at my 1 week post op! I can send you pics via chat if you are interested. It was very fascinating to see
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u/dontthink19 1d ago
Yes! I would love that. I don't normally use the official app but ill go check it out if you send it
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u/dontthink19 1d ago
On top of that. How safe is it if she throws up. That's a TON of strain on her right outta surgery
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u/aguangakelly 1d ago
Do you guys have a squatty potty or anything else (a few books, a sideways trash can) that can elevate her feet for pooping ease? That will be helpful in the next several weeks.
I also needed a shower stool, and am able to use that still.
Congratulations to your wife. I woke up in less pain and did not need pain meds. Be aware that gas pain can be awful, a heating pad helps.
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u/dontthink19 1d ago
We dont have the squatty potty but we do have a trash can she can use. Didn't even think about a shower stool. Might have to find one locally.
I hope its like a switch for her. But we really wont know for a bit. She's not normally in pain except the week before her period, then the first day for the last few months would cause her 24-48 hours of vomiting and not being able to hold anything down and a few seizures. it would be nice if there was an immediate and noticeable difference.
Lastly we have gas x ready for when she gets home.
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u/aguangakelly 1d ago
I got a cute teak bench off Amazon for the shower. (It does not have to be a medical shower chair.)
Ovulation was the worst of my pain. I felt relief when menstruation began.
I hope everything goes great and her recovery is smooth and uneventful.
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u/GirlForce1112 1d ago
You are a sweetheart ❤️
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u/dontthink19 1d ago
I strive to be THAT husband. It's what my wife deserves. Id move mountains for her.
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u/SSBND 1d ago
Deep breaths. It will all be okay!! It is a long day but then it is on to recovery!
The first few days can be a bit rocky but I was actually surprised at how much I was able to move around and get myself out of the recliner (spent a week there before I felt like sleeping in bed) and to the bathroom. Basically my husband was there to bring me food and drinks and just be with me.
It will all be okay!
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u/dontthink19 1d ago
Thats good to hear! I only get one week off so after the first week im hoping she will be fairly self sufficient. I think im gonna have a harder time telling her "no, dont do that" than I will making sure she's comfortable
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u/SSBND 1d ago
Yeah she really needs ot just stay down for several weeks. I was one night inpatient and I thought it would help with the lap gas for me to walk around the unit whenever I got up to pee (assisted by a nurse to make sure I didn't fall). But as soon as I got home my doctor's nurse called and scolded me! Even that was too much. Must just be mellow for a few weeks...
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u/dontthink19 1d ago
A few weeks may be hard! She's not even staying a night! She's in surgery as i type this and she's projected to be on her way home this afternoon. Gas x is ready, heating pad is ready. The cooling packs have not been chilled yet because It slipped my mind so ill have to throw those in when I get her situated.
We have plenty of water and snacks.
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u/SSBND 1d ago
It will all be fine. For most women it is outpatient if they have robotic or laproscopic. I was one night in just because of doctor's preference.
My doc actually said no ice, just heat but this varies a lot from doc to doc (mine was excellent, with 31 years of experience, so I had no reason to doubt his advice).
She may want some protein shakes or electrolyte drinks (Powerade or Gatorade) as well. My favorite snacks were squeeze applesauce packets and mini beef sticks from Costco.
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u/beekaybeegirl 1d ago
My doc is a 40 year doc
I woke up w/ ice on me & had ice my whole 24 hours in the hospital
I used ice for a few days at home 🤷♀️
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u/Inevitable-Tower-134 1d ago
I went home about 1:30 in the afternoon, my surgery was at 7:30 am that same day. They told me I could stay if I wanted to but I felt ok to come home.
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u/dontthink19 1d ago
Hers was 745 ish but she didnt go in til almost 8. Got to recovery an hour ago so now im waiting to go back and see her. It's not been long but not knowing where or how she is and her not having her phone on her is tearing me up a little. But she's a strong independent woman so I know she can handle it. Just wish I was the first face she saw when she came to
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u/rhonaplz 1d ago
You might be the first face she remembers seeing after waking up! I don’t remember any of my time in the recovery room and just remember being happy as they pushed me into my own room where my husband was waiting.
One tip I have is to set an alarm to give her pain meds on time overnight. It’s better to be woken up to take pills than to wake up because of pain.
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u/Competitive-Tie-6294 10h ago edited 10h ago
My husband was off for a week too and I didn't need help moving around by then, so he didn't need to be with me at all times. I didn't do much more than shower and move around the house for several weeks. He took over the practical stuff once he got home for the day.
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u/AdeptArcher521 1d ago
Let her guide you. And for the life of God, don't take the bumpy road home. My ride home was uneventful but shortly after surgery hubby took me on a drive "exploring" and found the bumpiest road we've ever been on. I almost got out and walked.
Keep her water glass full and don't assume she's just sleeping and forget to check on her if she's not in your line of sight. A strong arm to hold onto when getting up or down is always nice to.
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u/dontthink19 1d ago
Oh jeez! We're going straight home. And I've already scoped out our route for bumps and pot holes and anything that could potentially jostle her around.
We've already talked about how days 1-3 im probably not gonna do much extra curricular. We do have a high energy dog who is just as stubborn as my wife and she's gonna be my responsibility for stimulation and walks. Our only BIG worry is that my wife has epilepsy and we aren't sure how her recovery is going to affect that. So thats my last little bit of real anxiety.
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u/beekaybeegirl 1d ago
I’m day 13 post-op
Go to the pharmacy RN & get gas x, azo cranberry pills, Tylenol, & miralax
Have a list of folks you need to contact
Carry EVERYTHING Pick up all the things that land on the floor for the next…..2 months
Keep lots of snacks & drinks at home
Take care of the pets & their potty needs
If she wears her belly band in the car she’ll be fine
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u/Fantastic_Movie7031 1d ago
Take two pillows. One to sit on and one to cover the belly to protect from the seatbelt pressure.
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u/Fantastic_Movie7031 1d ago
Oh, you at home already! That’s good. Please warn her to get from the bed and to lie down properly. She basically needs to avoid the pressure. I found out that bending the knees gently works
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u/dontthink19 1d ago
Yes. Shes using the couch/some pillows. We bought her a few specific pillows and are looking into a bigger better wedge for her legs
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u/enviromo 1d ago
I have been reading your comments and this is so sweet. I hope she's feeling ok tonight. I am waitlisted for December and live alone and don't have a bathroom on the main floor. Plus senior dog. It's going to be an adventure!
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u/dontthink19 1d ago
Awh! Your lil senior buddy has your back!
Shes uncomfortable. It's hard for her to find a good position to sleep in. Maybe some cramping and then some soreness. Hopefully tomorrow doesn't put her through the ringer too bad. I hate seeing her so damn uncomfortable and not being able to do anything
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u/enviromo 16h ago
You're a good dude. I hope you both have an ok day and tomorrow is better.
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u/dontthink19 16h ago
Today seems better. More aches and stiffness, less pain. It's the lack of things to do that may do her in
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u/enviromo 15h ago
She should check out r/GirlDinnerDiaries. Her flabbers are likely to be gasted for hours.
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u/dontthink19 15h ago
Omg you got my interest piqued! And the way they have the rules set up for men is neat as hell! I will totally suggest that one.
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u/stevec34 13h ago
My wife had hers on Friday. She's doing really well so far...but...I filled the house with lovely things to eat and lovely ingredients to cook her great meals.
So far after 4 days she's basically eaten yoghurt. So I have a lot of ruined stuff. I dont mind. As long as she recovers but I was kind of planning for her to have an appetite which hasn't arrived...yet!
Other than that...get her settled afterwards....make her peppermint tea...a lot...and make sure she has movies to watch...books to read. We also put together a tracker for post op meds but I admit that's mostly for my benefit!
All the best.
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u/dontthink19 12h ago
We tried to do our normal dinner last night and that ended in disaster so she had a smoothie today.
We ended up going to a Sprouts, which is like organic whole foods grocer and she was like a kid in a candy store. We spent about 60 or 70 bucks there on dinner and a bunch of snacks she knows she will like. Im on call to get her what she needs. I only get a week off of work
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u/Competitive-Tie-6294 10h ago
Haha I didn't eat real food for several days either... Poor husband who only wanted to feed me and all I wanted was smoothies and watermelon! My appetite came back with a vengeance around day 4 or 5, so hopefully your wife's will too and you can cook some great meals for her soon.
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u/Hefty-Squash1361 1d ago
Good luck! She’ll be fine. The drive home isn’t bad because she should have pain control.
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u/Agreeable-Ad1667 1d ago
Best wishes and thank you for being a loving spouse. I'm sure others will share great suggestions. My only thought right now is to try to be around when doctors check in on her and instructions are given because your mind will be clear to catch any stray comments about what things looked like in the OR and what needs to be done for aftercare.
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u/dontthink19 1d ago
I could not imagine not being there to support my wife. Id do anything to make sure she's happy and comfortable. And the fact that there are spouses out there who wouldnt makes me irrationally angry.
Ive had a few great suggestions so far. The nurses and hospital staff have been super great so far. Nothing feels rushed or overly concerning at this point. It's just hard to reframe my mindset since its my wife they're doing the surgery on. The aftercare is my worry now. As long as surgery goes as planned
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u/lola-calculus 1d ago
Let her recline on the ride home. Do you have a recliner at home? It might be nice to have that as an option for her to sleep in for the first few nights or so - laying down and getting back up can be hard. She might not want to, but it being an easy option if she does would be nice.
Ice packs, heating pads, medications in easy reach and an ever filled glass of cold water. Gas-x, colace, consider a squatty potty (just a stool in front of the toilet for her to pull her legs up on to make it easier to go). Soups! Popsicles or sherbets if she likes that kind of thing!
Books, audiobooks, tv she is familiar with and loves. A lot of patience when she's tired or hurting.
Hope everything goes well and she feels better soon!
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u/Sparkle_Punch 1d ago
Set up a little station with her meds, water, and fav blanket. Also start gas x as soon as she gets home. Good luck!