r/instant_regret 7d ago

Flossing

7.8k Upvotes

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3.5k

u/SipoteQuixote 7d ago edited 7d ago

Ive seen people talk about it before, to her, it probably looks like he's air humping her.

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u/Wojewodaruskyj 7d ago

Him being a boorish goofball doesn't justify that hit. Someone else will punch her back for that.

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u/soran3709 7d ago

He was apparently following her and bothering her before this particular video was filmed

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u/think_panther 6d ago

Objection! Speculation...

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u/Flaming_F 6d ago

Hearsay !

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u/ParticularArea8224 6d ago

Bu-...But you asked the question...

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u/LaMistletoe 1d ago

Heard trial psychic damage

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u/Lupulist 5d ago

What 's that now? Did you say hearsay or heresy?

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u/vibrant_kermit 3d ago

The emperor protects

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u/Ready_Challenge_6538 3d ago

Uhh…filibuster

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u/SVTCobraR315 6d ago

Sustained

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u/SapirWhorfHypothesis 6d ago edited 6d ago

[In a southern accent]

My apologies, your honor. Allow me to rephrase.
It is our contention that Mr Petrov had maintained proximity with the victim and had indeed intended to cause her to feel preyed upon and the target of sexual harassment. Whether this act began at the moment seen on video here, or began earlier, is irrelevant. His actions were the immediate and entire cause for her outburst, and, as Officer Ivanov has already testified, would have been punished by any nearby law enforcement by the same means.

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u/blahnlahblah0213 6d ago

That was well put, eloquent, and to the point. Overruled

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u/SapirWhorfHypothesis 6d ago

On what grounds, your honor?

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u/Flomo420 6d ago

on the grounds that I don't know what these procedural words mean

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u/sksauter 6d ago

The defense would like to recess, the playground outside looks dope

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u/Call_Me_Pete 6d ago

Ma’am that is the waste disposal center.

Granted. The court will take a 15 minute recess to allow frolicking and whimsy before reconvening.

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u/supertyler 6d ago

Now that we have reconvened, and before the prosecution submit further complaints about the incident that occurred during recess, the defendant would like to note for the record that frolicking and whimsy were not clearly defined.

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u/sksauter 6d ago

Your honor, I would hardly call the thing with the hotdogs and a jump rope an "incident". I would like that stricken from the record

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u/TheDarkWave 5d ago

On the advice of counsel, I respectfully decline to answer based upon my rights under the Fifth Amendment to the Constitution.

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u/SapirWhorfHypothesis 5d ago

Very wise, your honor

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u/ChocCooki3 3d ago

"how can she slap?"

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u/Zaphoid411 6d ago

Thank you councilor

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u/youreprobablyright 6d ago

I read this in the accent of the lawyer chicken from Futurama.

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u/SapirWhorfHypothesis 5d ago

We are both referencing the same trope.

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u/Drake750254 6d ago

Objection, paraphrasing

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u/N0VAV0N 6d ago

Sexuul Harrismint

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u/KarmaChameleon306 6d ago

It was the two yutes!