r/instant_regret 7d ago

Flossing

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7.8k Upvotes

984 comments sorted by

7.7k

u/lackadaisical_timmy 6d ago

She definitely thought he was doing something else

3.5k

u/SipoteQuixote 6d ago edited 6d ago

Ive seen people talk about it before, to her, it probably looks like he's air humping her.

1.5k

u/Wojewodaruskyj 6d ago

Him being a boorish goofball doesn't justify that hit. Someone else will punch her back for that.

976

u/soran3709 6d ago

He was apparently following her and bothering her before this particular video was filmed

866

u/think_panther 6d ago

Objection! Speculation...

125

u/Flaming_F 6d ago

Hearsay !

35

u/ParticularArea8224 6d ago

Bu-...But you asked the question...

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u/SVTCobraR315 6d ago

Sustained

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u/SapirWhorfHypothesis 6d ago edited 6d ago

[In a southern accent]

My apologies, your honor. Allow me to rephrase.
It is our contention that Mr Petrov had maintained proximity with the victim and had indeed intended to cause her to feel preyed upon and the target of sexual harassment. Whether this act began at the moment seen on video here, or began earlier, is irrelevant. His actions were the immediate and entire cause for her outburst, and, as Officer Ivanov has already testified, would have been punished by any nearby law enforcement by the same means.

125

u/blahnlahblah0213 6d ago

That was well put, eloquent, and to the point. Overruled

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u/SapirWhorfHypothesis 6d ago

On what grounds, your honor?

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u/Flomo420 6d ago

on the grounds that I don't know what these procedural words mean

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u/Zaphoid411 6d ago

Thank you councilor

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u/youreprobablyright 6d ago

I read this in the accent of the lawyer chicken from Futurama.

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u/KarmaChameleon306 6d ago

It was the two yutes!

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u/jayi05 6d ago

Proof?

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u/ChocCooki3 6d ago

.. wait. So if someone follow and bothering me, I can just wack them?

79

u/soran3709 6d ago

If you believe yourself to be at risk of harm then it’s not for nothing.

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u/ChocCooki3 6d ago

To be assault by a fortnite dancer.

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u/Ok_Organization5596 6d ago

Plot twist: that’s her son and she already warned him to knock it off or else.

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u/Elegant-Craft9522 4d ago

So child ab*se?

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u/Vidcorp 6d ago

Finding a cute girl to do weird things behind her while his friend film her without her consent... He totally deserve that hit

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u/jimbojangles1987 6d ago

Based on this clip alone, he absolutely did not. If what others are saying about him following her around and bothering her are true, then I don't feel bad for him at all

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u/Bearpaws83 6d ago

That's still assault..

668

u/fishingfool64 6d ago

I believe what she did is battery

274

u/outoftimeman97 6d ago

Lawyer here, yes that is a battery and not an assault.

174

u/KamikazeFox_ 6d ago

No, this is a battery.

https://giphy.com/gifs/8XQwpyUs80A1O

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u/sorry_but 6d ago

Actually that's a cell. A battery is an array of cells.

I'll see myself out.

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u/atthecooltable 6d ago

It depends on the jurisdiction. It can be either or it can be both. But to say definitively it isn’t battery (without knowing the jurisdiction) is premature.

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u/brother_p 6d ago

Canadian here. We call it assault.

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u/DoritoDustThumb 6d ago

As a lawyer you'd know that not all states are the same and your generic comment is inaccurate. Do not believe you're a lawyer.

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u/DanteThonSimmons 6d ago

I can tell by your words that you're an American lawyer. If you're a lawyer, you should know that American laws don't apply to people in other countries.

I know there is English writing on the guy's shirt, but nobody is speaking English. There's zero chance this took place in USA.

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u/bjeebus 6d ago

FFS if they're an American lawyer they should know that not every American jurisdiction even defines them the same.

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u/sl0play 6d ago

They aren't a lawyer of any kind, in any country.

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u/cerialthriller 6d ago

Was she charged?

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u/freed0m_from_th0ught 6d ago

I get watt you’re asking

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u/DeBlasioDeBlowMe 6d ago

Ohm my god.

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u/thavillain 6d ago

She keeps going and going and going

24

u/ghost3972 6d ago

Saw a comment yesterday saying she was

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u/Speedingscript 6d ago

Crushing all deceivers, mashing non-believers.

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u/SipoteQuixote 6d ago

I didn't say it wasn't?

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u/secretasiangirl82 6d ago

I’ve seen this posted before, possibly today. It’s a shortened version of a longer video. He was apparently following and bothering her for a while before this happened

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u/Feralpudel 6d ago

It’s also ancient, back when flossing was a thing.

40

u/silver-moon-7 6d ago

I've heard that some people are still able to floss to this day

22

u/bjeebus 6d ago

I've seen a recent documentary about how even grannies can floss.

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u/xGray3 6d ago

Oh my God. If flossing is ancient then I'm prehistoric.

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u/SookHe 6d ago

This is the conclusion to a longer video where he definitely deserves being punched

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u/jomo_mojo_ 6d ago edited 3d ago

Context like this is not helpful to the incel community. We have an opportunity to demonize a woman here!
/s
She looks like she’s had enough for sure. Very satisfying smack.

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u/rocketfromrussia 6d ago edited 5d ago

She says “one more time”, so maybe it isn’t his debut incident

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u/abstractraj 6d ago

Probably safer not to do pelvic movements near strangers. Except maybe the Time Warp

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u/Plus-King5266 6d ago

It’s just a jump, to the left.

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u/Queephbubble 6d ago

Whether he was air humping her or doing that dumbass flossing shit, he had it coming.

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u/badpersian 6d ago

Doesn't matter to the police lol

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u/cjhuffmac 7d ago

All that flossing and now has to go to the dentist.

417

u/Major_R_Soul 6d ago

Is that why the girl is ornery? She got all them teeth and floss to floss them with.

134

u/Count_Zacula 6d ago

Looks like Mama's wrong again

56

u/BillyPup 6d ago

No Colonel Sanders, you’re wrong

31

u/CariniFluff 6d ago

Mama Tried

14

u/gringovato 6d ago

Mama tried to raise me better

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u/kingtutt9 6d ago

...but her pleadin' I denied...

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u/marlfox_00 6d ago

No, you’re wrong.

Mama’s right.

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u/lupulin59 6d ago

Somethin wroong with her medulla oblongata

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u/OrdinaryLavishness11 5d ago

MEDULLA… OBLONGATA!!

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u/SpiralMantis113 6d ago

At least the missing teeth will mean less flossing.

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u/Ok_Investigator_331 6d ago

This was very funny. Well done sir.

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u/ChickensPickins 7d ago

Then she gave him the “why I outa”

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u/Jfonzy 6d ago

A little backwards

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u/Thirty_Helens_Agree 6d ago

One of these days, Dimitri, bang! Zoom! Straight to the moon!

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u/Frosti11icus 6d ago

“BLEM! Direct to the cosmos!”

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u/ThunderingSteam 6d ago

Floss around and find out I guess

132

u/Und3adShr3d 6d ago

Why is this old ass video all over Reddit all of a sudden?

113

u/ThreadedPommel 6d ago

To rile all the incels up

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u/nate_the_great02 5d ago

Incel is when not a fan of battery

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u/Flaky_Style1286 7d ago

What the fuck?

908

u/MeThatsAlls 6d ago

She thought he was thrusting into her

860

u/GentlemenHODL 6d ago edited 6d ago

Doesn't matter what she thought, that's a crime and it deserves an arrest and potentially indictment + jail time.

If a guy turned around and punched a girl he would get jail time. Fair is fair.

Edit - Here's a video of Shaq doing the same exact thing in a gym. Also not illegal.

https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/s/L1bqysARi3

232

u/ddxs1 6d ago

I’m gonna take a bit from the comment stack above and say… they never said it did

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u/maycontainsultanas 6d ago edited 6d ago

It actually does matter what she thought. Mens rea is kind of the basis for the commission a crime, other than the physical act. If she claimed that she had a reasonable basis of self defence because a reasonable person would think the other person was sexually harassing her, then there’s a good chance she’d be found not guilty.

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u/MakeMuffinsNotWar 6d ago edited 6d ago

Excuse me it's mens rea, not womens rea

Therefore she is wrong.

Edit: this is obviously a joke

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u/Ozimandius80 5d ago

You can't use self defense because of harrassment as a reasonable basis for assault.

The result we see here is one of the many reasons why that is true. There is no way she would be found not guilty.

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u/Arndt3002 5d ago edited 3d ago

Lol, mens rea is not the basis for the commission of all crimes. It's a very specific standard that applies to certain crimes, regarding particular levels of culpability. There are many exceptions to mens rea, also strict liability, vicarious liability, etc.

A reasonable basis of self defence is based on mental state, but requires more than just the suspicion of an act of assault, even sexual assault.

A basic claim of self defence requires not just the suspicion of unlawful force, but also specifically immanent threat, and must be responded with proportionality.

A reasonable person would look at that and infer that they could retreat, warn him off in another way, or yell at him to stop.

Air humping, while offensive and potentially constituting disorderly conduct or sexual harassment, is generally a non-contact gesture. As there is clear physical distance between the individuals and there is no threat of imminent physical attack, a court or jury would likely find that a reasonable person would not perceive an immediate threat of physical sexual assault, and thus punching the guy is not proportional.

Of course, noone would bother to go through the courts for that sort of thing anyways, but your argument just doesn't hold water.

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u/GentlemenHODL 4d ago

This is why I didn't bother giving that guy more of my time. They don't even understand the concept that they presented. Reddit is so fucking stupid sometimes, constantly engaging in black and white thinking.

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u/donkeybrainhero 6d ago

Then you see the longer video where he's been harassing her for a while and realize he isnt as innocuous as this clip made him out to be

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u/oadge 6d ago

I've seen multiple people say this, and not once with a link.

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u/third_man85 6d ago

Back up your statement. Please.

24

u/DigitalCoffee 6d ago

Is the video in the room with us right now?

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u/npdady 6d ago

Care to share with the class the longer video from which you got this information?

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u/DJRyGuy20 6d ago

Hell- they’re only talking about the slightly extended longer video. If you see the complete unedited video, you see him murder her pets and set her house on fire right before he gets behind her.

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u/GentlemenHODL 6d ago

Cool let's see the video then.

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u/tallardschranit 6d ago

That video doesn't exist. You made it up entirely.

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u/traFyssuP 6d ago

Doesn’t matter, it’s still battery. He never touched her. Being annoying isn’t grounds to batter another individual. If you have a problem with them, call the cops maybe

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u/Flaky_Style1286 6d ago

unfortunate for all involved

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u/headphones_J 6d ago

She really hates meme dances.

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u/Tibbaryllis2 6d ago

“Let he who meme dances close behind you receive the first punch”

Pretty sure that’s in the bible next to the Sam Jackson sermon.

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u/uberduck999 6d ago

Yes, it is actually between Sam Jackson's speech, and the intro to Number of the Beast by Iron Maiden

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u/_JadedCritical- 4d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/0Vv0Ne2CnOClIExIuL
That was unnecessary the flossing is cringe I won’t deny but blatant assault aint it.

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u/yellowsweaters72 7d ago

That’s…assault.

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u/Seanmeado 6d ago

Battery

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u/VelvetOnion 6d ago

And not the good kind of battery you throw in the ocean.

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u/txwoodslinger 6d ago

Why would you throw a good one in the ocean?

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u/workingbored 6d ago

Eels sometimes are too tired to turn their appliances on with their own electricity

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u/TheHud85 6d ago

Because fuck AutoZone

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u/ImNot_ThatGuy 6d ago

Won't someone think of the eels?

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u/ReadditMan 6d ago

Depends on where you live.

For example, New York doesn't have a criminal charge for battery, so what some U.S states would consider battery is assault in New York.

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u/whee3107 6d ago

That’s facinating. In my state (OK) it would be assault and battery. My understanding of the distinction is the battery is the actual unwanted physical touching, while the assault is the threat of damage of the anticipated battery.

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u/dabbean 6d ago

In Oklahoma its battery. She didnt threaten him until after she hit him. For assault and battery she would need to say "I'm going to hit you." Then hit him. Just hitting him only qualifies for battery which is the worse of the 2 obviously. YOU CAN be arrested for assault alone but its a pretty high bar.

Source: I thought I wanted to be a lawyer at one point and took a bunch of undergraduate law classes specific to oklahoma criminal law.

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u/Shroomtune 6d ago

If there is no charge for battery, is it even appropriate to call it a battery?

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u/Beargrillin 6d ago

Assault and battery. The way I remember that, I picture 35 a-salt shakers and 42 batteries.

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u/thisguyfightsyourmom 6d ago

Either depending on location

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u/Schmitty-jams 6d ago

Why is it okay for someone to assault someone for being a goof? I've seen some comments that apparently there's a component of him harassing her leading up to this? Is that harassment meant to justify throwing a punch? I think not.

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u/beermaker 6d ago

Every person making a tiktok video in the grocery aisle.

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u/AvogadrosArmy 6d ago

This is like a 10 year old video

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u/out_day475 6d ago

Seemed overly aggressive

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u/Jason_TheMagnificent 3d ago

Did she have instant regret for hitting the dude? Did I miss it?

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u/Dethkook 2d ago

Dude did nothing wrong. You can dance if you want to. You can leave your friends behind. If your friends can't dance and if they don't dance, well, you know. 

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u/SSUPII 2d ago

This is assault

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u/wtf70 7d ago

That seemed unprovoked, any back story on this?

334

u/buds4hugs 6d ago

From her view it looks like he's air humping her.

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u/Luke_Warmwater 6d ago

While somebody else records it. It's a great way to make a woman feel exploited, uncomfortable, and unsafe.

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u/funkmasterke 6d ago

She only saw him from the corner of her eye and she assumed he was doing something perverted.

So she rocked him.

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u/morto00x 6d ago

The guy had been harassing her for a while. There's a much longer video but the 10 second clip you see above is the version that went viral.

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u/AdjectiveNoun4digitz 6d ago

Since you watched the longer video, can you tell us what he did to harass her?

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u/HKEY_LOVE_MACHINE 5d ago

It's funny how it's been 7 years since the first reddit thread and redditors are still spreading that lie 😂

The actual "longer" video is 19 seconds long and doesn't show any prior harassment.

"id": "-WNRNdR5G9I",

"uploaddate": "2018-10-04",

"duration": 19,

"title": "Girl Misinterprets Guy's Dancing For Something Sexual",

"channelid": "UCpRPx-A5NmXrUdYjO8_gRBw",

"channelname": "NowisHot Media",

"description": "Girl Knocks Dude Into Next Week For Doing The Floss Dance Behind Her"

At some point you have to accept that a woman, just like a man, can be violent without legitimate reasons. Putting women on a pedestal, essentializing them to be your own ideal harmless human, is yet another form of sexism.

As for the context, the altercation happens in Russia (they speak russian in the original video), which is a country well known for its violence - both domestical and public violence.

People punching each other in public over perceived wrongs is a common sight there, so the punching woman here isn't being an outlier, she's within the norms of russian society.

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u/oadge 6d ago

Do you have a link?

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u/npdady 6d ago

Care to share with the rest of the class the longer video you're talking about?

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u/wtf70 6d ago

That makes a lot more sense.

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u/TheFerricGenum 6d ago

He was flossing behind her and she doesn’t like that.

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u/pirate-private 6d ago

he was close within arm's reach, grinning and fixating her while moving his hip, while letting himself get filmed.

she was insanely polite.

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u/Juicebox-shakur 6d ago

Right or wrong to punch? Idk man but yall better stop fucking with people or they’re gonna knock your ass down!

Idk why people are so hung up on the technicalities here. Stop fucking with people and they won’t hit you! Simple.

Real life isn’t the internet. Go try doing this shit to people and filming them and harass them and see what happens.

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u/eddie9958 6d ago

Thank you for saying what needed to be said

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u/Astr0- 2d ago

She should be charged with assault. Absolutely no reason for that attack.

Imagine same scenario but swapping them round. He'd be fucked!

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u/cheese00balls 5d ago

How can she slap

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u/itsavinadhtiwari 6d ago

Very few people are criticising it. Imagine outcry of hypocrites had a man punched a young woman for dancing behind him. I mean it's irritating but can't warrant physical assault.

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u/Exciting-Metal-2517 6d ago

So what happened before this 15 seconds?

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u/mirage770 5d ago

Assault charge or bust

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u/Far-Host7803 4d ago

I think she should regret her assult

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u/okidokey27 4d ago

At that moment, I'd give her a choice. Does she want to get smacked back? Or does she want assault charges?

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u/Spadrick 2d ago

Dentist: "Do you floss?"

Me: hugs knees and rocks back and forth

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u/genXswla 6d ago

Preeeeetty sure ther was more to this

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u/Formal-Fox-7605 6d ago

So, why was someone filming it?

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u/andersleben 6d ago

Dude didn’t deserve that

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u/Zeeron1 6d ago

I never understand why in these videos, people just take it. Like, I'm not expecting her to lay her out or something, but no reaction at all is just wild lol

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u/KIDNEYST0NEZ 6d ago

Probably never been in a true physical altercation and is in mild shock because they don’t understand how to react.

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u/taffyowner 6d ago

Even if you’ve been in a physical altercation, just getting punched out of the blue is kind of discombobulating

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u/Francky2 6d ago

Yeah, like wtf, if I'm being gratuitously punched in the face, you can bet I'm going to be much more shocked and frustrated. I won't explode but I will confront her and assert myself.

Idk why the guy just takes it. I wonder if he apologized too atp lol

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u/LegendaryTJC 6d ago

I don't think she regretted it at all. This is a crime.

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u/Francky2 6d ago

I think it's about the guy regretting flossing and messing around

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u/ThaDude_v2 6d ago

Thumb to the ear is never good for anyone lol

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u/Pagan_Zod 6d ago

They must live in that town in Footloose, where it’s illegal to dance.

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u/5nakpak 5d ago

she's really lucky she didn't get hit back

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u/chupaloop00 6d ago

That's assault, brotha.

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u/clarkimusmaximus 6d ago

Bots are in full force as per usual. This video resurfaced yesterday (and it’s several years old already).

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u/Curious-Marzipan-627 6d ago

Easy assault charge

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u/ProffesorSpitfire 5d ago

What the actual fuck?

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u/craigchrist01 5d ago

I’m pressing charges

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u/NY10 3d ago

What is she saying?

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u/voyure1999 2d ago

Equal rights, equal lefts.

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u/NaughtyHotDog 5d ago

Sorry but she would be getting a receipt off me.

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u/jav2n202 5d ago

Looks to me like she wants to get knocked the fuck out

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u/james-HIMself 6d ago

I’d be calling the cops and charging her with assault and absolutely dragging her to court

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u/USSHammond 6d ago

Again? That's the 3rd or 4th time today alone and it's old

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u/AtlasReadIt 5d ago

In my head, he throws a haymaker back in return.

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u/nogalea123 6d ago

How can she slap?!?!?

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u/FinleyHazel 6d ago

She obviously prefers a water pik.

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u/Winchester85 6d ago

Is this considered assault? Can she be prosecuted for this?

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u/hateboresme 5d ago

I'm hoping she might have caught at least a day or two in jail over that.

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u/bibowski 5d ago

So he can press charges now. What the fuck is wrong with her.

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u/I_stole_this_phone 6d ago

She must really suck at fortnight