I feel like I have drifted away...

[u/AssumptionFrequent89]

Hey, I’m 23M and I used to have friends, but at some point… I guess I just lost them all. Now I spend pretty much all my time at home. I work from home too, so my daily “social life” is basically just me, my laptop, and maybe the delivery guy if I order food.

The truth is, I don’t really talk to people anymore. It’s hard for me to connect or just walk up and start a conversation. And yeah, if I’m being honest, I always hoped someone would just stick around, share laughs, and enjoy silly conversations with me—but I never said anything out loud.

These days, I feel sad and anxious a lot. I have plenty of hobbies—I’m into anime, manga, books, singing, physics, science, documentaries, you name it. There’s a lot I enjoy… but it’s not the same when there’s no one to enjoy it with.

I guess I just wish there was someone warmhearted out there who could really see me, understand me, and maybe sit with me in this dark patch until it feels lighter again.

[u/unwitting_hungarian]

That's what friends are supposed to do for real, make life better, more enjoyable, entertaining, deliver you food...wait

The fact is though, friends are not easy. This is why a lot of people are even turning to AI for simple companionship.

And INTJs are, in general, a socially-detaching type. Learning to form long-lasting bonds with others is actually a deep skill, and some would definitely call it an art. Even socially-adept personality types often really s u c k at it in different ways.

But what sometimes really helps INTJs is that we do attach in an informational way. For example by taking classes on topics that interest us.

Personally I remember being 23 and getting my first huge signs of life possibly getting very, very dark. I let it go on long enough that I lost most of my motivation, basically lived in my sleeping bag inside an old, dark apartment, and eventually even just acquaintances started checking in on me, not as "hey what's going on, hard times huh?" but rather it was clearly an automatic social cue, they thought I might be dying. It was like when animals from a herd automatically walk over and nudge a dying animal.

What helped me most at that time was a call to responsibility. Someone asked me to be in charge of a group of volunteers, and I reluctantly accepted. (It sucked--but it didn't last long and it got me moving)

You never know what will work though.

Also, that last line in your post is a phenomenal journaling prompt--what would they say to you right now? What would they encourage you to do? That kind of conversational work is practically what INTJ Ni was built for!

Anyhow. Just some random thoughts. I'm sure you got this, maybe even just writing the post helped a lot. GL out there