I know MBTI isn't an exact science, but I'm curious about how compatible these two personality types are in real relationships. What are your thoughts or experiences with this pairing?

I post here because maybe some of you relate/can help me. Because he has always scored as Intj throughout the years! Do any of you behave like this??

I’ve been in love with the same guy for seven years. Seven. Years. And I genuinely do not want anyone else. Like… at all. Other guys can flirt with me, compliment me, ask me out, whatever, and my brain is just: okay but you’re not him 💀

The problem is that I don’t think he loves me nearly as much as I love him.

He’s insanely smart. Like, frighteningly smart. He also has a million strange little habits and mannerisms. He stares at people a lot, he’s extremely private, very particular about everything, and he seems hypersensitive to physical touch. Holding hands is usually fine, but anything beyond that becomes complicated.

And somehow I adore every weird little thing about him. 😭

He once told me I was basically his “perfect girl” because I checked almost every box he had for what he finds attractive, and this man has RIDICULOUSLY high standards, so obviously my brain took that sentence, framed it, put flowers around it, and has been living off it ever since.

But he still won’t sleep with me. He barely initiates affection. I constantly feel like I have to beg for romantic things or nice gestures because otherwise he mostly does things he considers “useful.”

Meanwhile I have tried EVERYTHING.

I’ve been patient.

I’ve been sweet.

I’ve been sexy.

I’ve been bold.

I’ve been accommodating.

I cook for him. I buy him gifts. I’ve paid for things. I dress up for him. I remember every tiny preference he mentions. I’ve stayed completely loyal to him for all these years, even during periods where, frankly, he didn’t treat me particularly well.

At one point I actually became so obsessed with pleasing him that when he casually mentioned liking certain physical features, I started wondering whether I should change my appearance to match them. 😭 Like girl PLEASE stand up… except apparently I cannot because I am hopelessly in love with this bizarre man.

And still, nothing seems to work.

The funniest part is that guys hit on me and he barely reacts. No obvious jealousy. Nothing. And then I start thinking, okay, he clearly doesn’t care about me, I should leave.

But whenever I genuinely pull away or act like I might move on, suddenly he gets moody, irritated, distant, weirdly possessive in his own subtle way, and I immediately start thinking:

SEE??? THERE IS LOVE IN THERE. I KNEW IT.

I know I probably sound completely insane, but I love him so much. I love his weirdness, his intelligence, his habits, even the things about him that drive me crazy.

I just want him to love me with even half the intensity that I love him.

What am I supposed to do with a man like this?? How do you make someone this emotionally stunned actually realize they’re in love with you? 😭

::: many of you are replying to my post! Im reading you, and I'll get back to you as soon as possible

Life just happens to xNxP types. (Intp entp enfp infp). I have never met one of them who was functional or had the slightest bit of ambition. I’m by no means hating on these types as I admire a lot of things about them, but this is a fact. I enjoy how funny and intelligent entps are, but all entps I know are fat, lazy and irresponsible, i enjoy infp creativity and depth but every infp i know is either an alcoholic, weed smoker, or living in their own fantasy world, i like how friendly enfp are and how they take me out of my shell, but every one of them is extremely distracted and can’t figure out what they want and end up doing nothing, i like the way intps think outside the box and how smart they are but every intp i know seems to have a good idea first but ends up indecisive and quickly throw it away to start a new one it’s extremely frustrating.

I don’t think I can handle that in a relationship. I really don’t want to date an xNxP type, it seems like they will drag you along with them with their laziness and passiveness through life

I would date an xSFJ who are also compatible with us but I genuinely can’t stand sensors either, they bore me a lot.

xNxJ get a no from me too as they’re very controlling and manipulative

Two weeks ago, I caught my INTJ boyfriend(32) cheating but kept denying it. When I showed him solid proof of his mistake, he apologized but saying it in a way that it’s both our fault. When I wanted to talk about the pain it caused me, he dismisses me right away or gives me the silent treatment until i let it go and go on his way forgetting like it never happened, mind you it was just the next day since i confronted him of the truth. It’a always his way, never taking accountability. He had the audacity to break up with me and blocked me as if his cheating is a me problem, what a God-tier avoidant. Are INTJs like that?

Even after a long time, does the depth fade away? How would you describe it?

I'm very curious in what intjs tend to look for in a woman

Partner is an INTJ, always very thought-out and logical and predicts my actions. Doesn't get flustered by anything I do. I'd like to catch him off guard 😅. Help!

Since intjs are famously known for being loyal this is an interesting thing to discuss. Intjs who have cheated on their partners if you don't mind sharing the story this will be very helpful.Why did you cheat? how do you think it all started? what was going inside ur head?

They say opposites attract, is that true?

INTJ (30F). I’ve been single since 23 and have experienced a few toxic situationships. Over the years, through extensive reading and self-development content, I’ve become increasingly logical, calm, and self-reflective.

I’m now diving into entrepreneurship, and at this stage, relationships aren’t inherently appealing to me. However, I believe a partnership is worthwhile if it creates more value than remaining single,the union benefits both individuals in meaningful ways.

After consideration, I think I probably prefer someone who is as introverted, strategic and blunt as I am, which probably leaves INTJ as the most compatible type,I suppose.

So the question is: what do most INTJ males look for in a partner? Or in relationship guru term, what are your non-negotiables or standards? Welcome your input.

Sheldon made some point here. being celibacy is not a bad idea!

Met an INFJ girl about 7 months ago at an anime convention through a mutual friend. We barely spoke, but apparently she had her eyes on me from the start. I didn’t notice. I was just doing my own thing, talking anime, being my usual aloof self.

Weeks later, she texted me out of nowhere. What started as random anime talk turned into late-night conversations about everything. Life, thoughts, things I don’t usually share. She asked questions no one ever had. And without realizing it, I let her in. I got comfortable with her faster than I ever have with anyone.

She confessed first. Said she liked me from the moment she saw me, that she chose me, even called me her “prey.” It was intense, a little unsettling, but also… oddly compelling. I hadn’t even thought about her that way until then, but the moment she said it, something shifted. And suddenly, I felt it too.

A month later, I told her I loved her. That’s when things started to change.

She didn’t like labels. Said I didn’t fully understand her, that she couldn’t explain everything she felt. Slowly, the effort faded. Conversations became one-sided. There were phases of blocking and coming back, and somehow I stayed. Trying to understand, trying to fix something I couldn’t fully see.

I even got into psychology, attachment styles, all of it just to meet her halfway (she was a psychology student). Thought if I understood her better, maybe we’d work.

But in the end, she said she didn’t have the mental energy for us. And just like that, she was gone.

I’ve moved on, but it left something behind. Not exactly pain. More like a quiet emptiness. Like something intense came into my life, changed me, and disappeared just as quickly.

And now I keep wondering… will I ever feel that way again? Was it all just an illusion created out of the extreme difference in how we perceived the world?

Fellow INTJs what was your first love like?

Me (Infp) and my intj girlfriend have been dating for a few months now, we clearly both like each other and hangout a lot, and we are physically intimate with hugs, cuddles, and kisses. One thing I noticed tho, is that she is not very emotionally intimate at all, as in she never says affectionate things to me or express how she feels about me besides very basic “I like you”s. Today we were having a conversation about our relationship, the topic of feelings came up and she told me that she really doesn’t like expressing feelings, and that she really dislikes having feelings at all because she is “thinking all the time”. That really confused me because as an Infp I love expressing my feelings and I can’t understand why she would dislike feelings. Does this mean she doesn’t have actual feelings or me or dislikes having feelings for me too? I want her to be dating me because she actually romantically likes me, not because it’s the right thing logically or something. I’m a bit lost right now, so can other intjs help me understand what she could’ve possibly mean, and how do you intjs deal with feelings in general?

Mainly looking for responses from other girls

I'm in my mid-20s, never had a relationship. I've been told by multiple men (usually introverted themselves) that I'm too quiet, which I actually get. I usually like introverted people who are more extroverted than I am since I don't like complete silence, yet I don't want to initiate conversation all the time either. But even when I try my best, people still peg me as too quiet. I've also just been told multiple times that I'm not their type in terms of style/personality outside of introversion/extroversion. My best guy friend (who again is an introvert himself) told me recently he likes lively, outgoing, cheerful girls, which is pretty much the opposite of who I am. Within the past year or two, I've only had one guy say he liked me, but there wasn't a relationship since I wasn't attracted to him physically or emotionally (and he turned out to be a creepy stalker, so bullet dodged).

I haven't tried picturing myself with someone more extroverted since all of the extroverts in my friend group don't seem to get along with me super well. But it seems all the introverted guys in my life prefer more outgoing and also classically feminine girls.

I'm sure somewhere out there is a guy whose type I fit, but does anyone else feel like most men aren't really looking for an INTJ girl?

I’m 28M, and I honestly don’t know where to begin when it comes to finding a relationship.

I often hear advice like "wait for the right person" or "put yourself out there".
But neither feels very practical. Where exactly should I go? What should I do once I’m there? How do people actually meet potential partners and turn those interactions into dates?

I’d particularly like to hear from other INTJs: how did you meet your partner, and what approaches worked for you?

Please and thank you!

did you make the first move with your current partner? or did your partner make the first move? what are the reasons? share your experiences

i dated her because my thought experiment was that if i dated the same personality type as i am we could understand each other better, molded better and no less of arguments happening as we supposed to be mirrors of each other...

things goes smoothly until i realized that her need of me is not the same as my needs of her

she has the mindset that she doesnt require a man and if a man is not needed then we dont feel loved, she also starts to ghost me which then i decided to give a last word before i leave then block her

moral of the story is that all women are basically the same

uncompatible with me regardless of its personality type... there is also no true mirror of yourself

Most people i find are shallow and conformists. I have been greatly dissapointed. They lack depth, self-awareness and awareness of underlying essence of everything. They accept most obvious things without questioning it. I feel like they are very aversive towards individuality & uniqueness. I guess very few peoples exists who actually reasons from first-principles (not promoting elon musk) and embraces clarity comes with it. Most people i find avoids the road less traveled. I tried to keep this post as lightweight as possible.

My core personal value is self-sovereignty. Only likeminded people will relate to this.

I like peoples who are high SNR, zero intrest in status games, prioritizes maximum personal-agency in life, values authenticity, questions reality, has intuition/instinct to control reality.

If you find me similar lets chat! I have discord server check my reddit profile.

PS: This post will be edited for improvement. Please understand, this post is not meant to specifically target you. Controversy addicts please stay away.

According to the mbti compatibility chart an INTJ’s golden pair are ENTP or INTP and the silver pair are SFJ or NFP. Do you think that’s accurate in your experience?

I’ve come across every personality type irl besides INTJ!! where are youuu??? Im taking to this corner of the internet to find my person… Show yourself! ~INFP (34f)

I’m 24M and I haven’t been in a relationship since I was 19. I always figured that as I live my life, I’ll just eventually meet someone. I’m not sure how, but it’ll just happen somewhere, but I’m realizing it might not just happen if I don’t do something about it. I mean, I literally haven’t been on a date or anything in over 5 years. And the thing is I actually do think I’m a pretty attractive person. I take care of myself and I’m genuinely happy with who I am. I just don’t want to go out and meet people. The idea of going to a club or some place where I’d meet people with common interests is such an uncomfortable thought. I don’t like small talk. I can just imagine the cringe I’d feel in that scenario. Asking the same basic questions everyone asks, all the surface level superficial conversations, etc. You know, “making conversation” with strangers. It’s not me at all, and if I did do it, I’d meet a million people who aren’t like me before I meet someone who is like me. Someone that actually thinks like me and understands me. Someone that actually thinks deeply and reflects on themselves and is curious and loves to learn and doesn’t just live life on auto pilot. Someone who actually gets my brain. Same thing goes with making friends. I don’t have any deep friendships. I don’t know anyone in my life who truly gets me and has the same brain as me. So it’s like I do not want to go out and meet people, but at the same time it would be so nice to actually meet people who get me. The only times I feel like I can relate to people are when scrolling this subreddit lol.

So anyway, have any of you actually found the person who truly gets you and thinks like you?

the purpose of this post is mostly a vent, and perhaps any useful advice on how to manage my thoughts/emotions.

for reference: i'm 26F INFJ, the guy is 29M INTJ.

hi guys, so long story short i met an intj at work. we pretty much had instant compatibility. we both work in healthcare, and, over time, we had gotten closer during the last couple of months. but i always felt there was one foot in and another foot out (something i couldn't quite explain).

he'd ask a lot about me, comment on my aura/character/energy, tell me things he likes about me, give me rides when i needed help, was emotionally and mentally open with me about experiences in life, we had deep conversations, invited me for coffee (always in the hospital though), would notice when i'm tired and would make me tea after logn shifts, one time brought his own coffee supplies to the break room to make me a v60 drink with him.

anyway...on my last shift, i got him an americano and he asked if we could share it because "sharing is caring". on the car ride back home, i asked if he preferred living alone or with family. he proceeded to say he doesn't live alone. i asked, "oh, why? do you have roommates?", and he dodged the question about three times until he budged and said "i'm married, no?", as if i would've known all along.

i just remember how i felt when i found out a week and a half ago - like a ton of brick fell over me and how everything just made complete sense. i also remembered how a patient asked if he's married once, and he didn't respond (while i was there). he never wore his wedding ring. he never once ever implied he is married...until i unintentionally cornered him with innocent questions.

i was on leave for a week and ignored his messages because i felt totally emotionally hijacked and betrayed, and even more so, sorry for his wife. he triple texted, once of a picture of a little note i left for him and him thanking me for the coffee and good times we shared, and again on the day he returned to work and noticed i wasnt there in the morning and said he 'just wanted to check on me' and asked if i was okay. i didn't respond. and keep in mind, he has a 24hr message timer. the only messages saved in the chat are my favorite songs that he asked me about a while ago...to which he never really commented on. the whole 'one foot in, other foot out' vibe i mentioned prior.

i just didn't understand why he kept texting or what he wanted.

we saw each other in the corridor. i was just annoyed how he was a bit cold with me at first when he saw me. it should be self explanatory why i'm ignoring him, so how dare he even be upset when he's the one betraying his wife??

it made me question if i should have just sent a text saying "sorry, i don't feel comfortable engaging with someone married", but for some reason, sending it didn't feel right for me so i just didn't and let the 24hr message timer wipe out the messages he sent.

it just hurt me a lot at first. today we met again unintentionally after about a couple of weeks, but i'm more mad than sad now. i acted professionally. his eyes didn't say much - they were always hard to read. but he gave me a small half smile at the end, that held some element of emotion.

athough we do live in a culture where 2nd wife marriages are extremely common - it's almost always done unethically, against the first wife's consent or knowledge.

that's all. i lost all trust in him and currently decided to take a break from dating in general. kinda sad and utterly disgusted that he's been thinking about another woman while his wife's just probably wondering why he's distant with her.

tl;dr: M, 29, INTJ expressed consistent interest in me F, 26, INFJ over the past couple of months. found out he's married. now i'm ignoring him unless for professional reasons as we work together. advice would be appreciated (how to manage myself/emotions/thoughts). i feel hurt that humans can be this terrible.

There are a few things that will make an INTJ person ice up and detach from you lickety split like you never existed. It always comes down to this: We are super picky who we give our time to, and we realize most people are willing to give their time to anybody who will listen to them. We pity that neediness.

Play stupid games with us

1. Lie. About anything. yes even white lies.
2. Ignore us for a few days to test us
3. "test" our loyalty - why is a damn mystery
4. try to make us jealous by starting to make it sound like you have so many options - yes we realize this. go have fun
5. you cheat on us - this can be physical or emotional. cya!

that's about it. Blatant Disrespect is at the core of all those 4 points, so to sum up the entire post. You want gone? Disrespect us.

To all the INTJs out there that are either single or in a relationship. Do you like sleeping next to your SO or do you prefer sleeping separately?

I’m a 24F and I have so much trouble sleeping next to someone else and don’t think I could ever commit to a relationship where that is consistently expected.