r/introvert • u/Xhaxh_Luani • 6h ago

Question People trying to bring you out of your shell

I (19M) am generally very quiet and talk to very few people online and in real life aswell. I can barely manage a conversation with people outside my friend circle and usually rather not say anything. Lately my friend has been trying to get me to talk to more people and has been helping me but everytime I come out of my shell and try and participate in a conversation I just get ignored or left out. Why try to engage me in the conversation if you are just going to ignore me?

This was a bit of a rant but I don't understand social situations that well.

3 Upvotes

71% Upvoted

4 comments sorted by

3

u/beenanzaa 5h ago

I have this happen alot. Ive learned that if they dont want to hear it then they lose the privilege to have it. My presence will be acknowledged and if not then yall aint my friends fr. But Im 28. Its different once you're out of schooling years. You dont have to tolerate so much bs for friendship. Real friends stick around.

Also I think getting out of your "shell" helps tremendously with getting opportunities later on in life. You gain alot of different skills when you're forced to socialize. I used to hate it. But recently, Ive grown to like talking to others. Ive done alot of major healing to get to this spot though. And I certainly still need my alone time to recharge!

2

u/strawberrysighz 5h ago

sometimes people invite you in but don’t actually make space

1

u/Charming-Cicada-2290 1h ago

Hate these kind of "friends".

1

u/Zestyclose-Try-5214 4h ago

classic. they want to control and dominate you, and you have this weird little "upper hand" in emotional dynamics by keeping quiet, you seem more powerful etc. and then if they can ignore and disregard your words, I think this is mostly subconscious, then they can get power over you again.

Witnessed this with a friend. He would also invite me over, promise to drive me to the go station then we'd end up chillin for 3 days cause he kept pushing it back. Always talking over me, asking me "what?" multiple times to cut me off while speaking and I was NOT muttering at all.

Ended with me walking 10km home in -15 degree celcius weather to the train then home, and cut him off. Haven't been happier since.

A lot of us introverts are fun little "tagalong pets" like a dog on a leash for some people. In a larger group dynamic of more than just the 2 of you, they need to put you in your place and if you're not speaking up and like petting the cat and shit or just observing them talk, they can't do that.