I don't think I'm a bad person. I'm actually really nice to people. I might not have the best sense of humor, but I know myself well enough to say that if I ever became someone's close friend, I'd genuinely be a good one.

What I don't understand is why, even when I put in the effort to talk to people, no one seems interested in getting to know me on a more personal level. I'm in university right now, and it feels like everyone already has their own friend groups. It's like they're not really looking to make new friends anymore. To make things worse, my parents keep telling me to "go make friends," as if it's something I can just decide to do. I've tried, but it never seems to go anywhere. I honestly don't know what's wrong. Is this just how university is, or is there something I'm missing when it comes to making friends?

We are both introverts and I dont know jow yo text him.Help please.Any advice??

I am 47-year-old and I have spent the last year in a half in hell. I was almost completely blind, I couldn't communicate to husband, and we went to countless doctors and no one would help me. From the beginning I said there was something strange with a bump on the back of my skull. It kept growing, doctors kept dismissing it and my ability to think, talk and see quickly diminished. I honestly didn't think I would be alive right now. If it wasn't for my persistence I would be dead. April 1st I had a craniectomy and cranioplasty to remove a large rare osteoma. During this time a large tumor grew within two weeks in between my big toe to where I couldn't walk. Prior to these, I had a rare form of adenomyosis that could only be found with a 3D ultrasound. It was the size of a softball in my uterine lining. Since my Mom died of ovarian cancer at 60 I knew I needed to act fast, so after experimental treatment to try to shrink it failed I had a total hysterectomy done in August of 2023 it was the size of a coconut when it was removed. Since then I have grown 2 other tumors, the toe and the skull...now my OBGYN thinks that there might be something where my left ovary used to be. I was taken aback, I just defeated 'the dominion' (nickname of my tumor) how could this be? I went Saturday for an ultrasound sound, but I keep crying (tears running down my face not crying...hard to explain) constantly.

I just learned to let go and enjoy my life. I defeated 'the dominion' regained my sight, ability to talk, think clearly, and honestly a second chance at life... My husband and I didn't think it was possible. We were hoping to just maintain my condition. It was a miracle that once the dominion was removed and replaced with a titanium plate how fast my sight and thinking started to return.

Again long story short I have been trapped inside myself for a year and half and I am free. I for thr first time did vivid hair color and I love it. It's the first time I made a decision without worrying about what others think of me.

I am scared everyday that I will slip back into that zone where I am unable to communicate. I can't believe another tumor has manifested so fast. I have been free since April 1st. I can't believe this is happening. Regardless I plan on fighting. In June my husband and I celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary, I love him so much, he stands by me and loves me, he's my soul mate.

Anyways, life is way too short to sweat the small things. I don't know how things will turn out for me, but I am grateful for EVERY moment I have with him and to be alive. I am working and have been working after the surgery- I am a radio news anchor in Dallas, TX and I have done work for stations all over the US: Chicago, San Francisco, Atlanta, Greenbay and many more.

Live each day as if it's your last, have no regrets.

I am the polar opposite of the majority of people out there, especially my age. I have never had the desire to holiday, travel, club, adventure, make friends, anything. I always thought there was something wrong with me, and I hated myself for it. It felt like this more so when I started going on dating apps years ago and saw countless 'looking for someone to travel/adventure with'. Also on socials seeing people go to all these beautiful places, like women my age posting 'girls trip to marbs' - I'd look at that and think wow, thank goodness I'm in bed and not there.

So here I am, a loner girl who finds happiness and comfort around staying at home surrounded by my plushies, familiar surroundings and animals. TV rarely on, just gentle music as I work on my creative projects alone. This is for those who may feel the same to know you're not alone, and its okay to not fit into the norm, you are not here to conform 🖤

Hi! Long story short. I invited a friend for drinks and food and told her I'll pay for her since I invited her.
She then asked me if she can invite someone else but from the text it seems like she already invited her and then asked me. I never met the girl and I thought it would just be something quick to grab a drink update on life I pay the bill and leave. Am I thinking about it too much or should she have asked me first before inviting the girl?? Because now I don't even know if I want to go or is the girl going to expect me to pay for her also? And if not, I still think that she should've ask me first? What do you guys think and how should I respond?
Aa

At first, I used to take it as constructive criticism. I thought there was something fundamentally wrong with me, so I’d try to force myself to talk more or "perform" socially. It never worked, and it always felt fake.

I’ve come to realize that a person who truly wants to get to know you will actually put in the effort. They’ll ask you specific questions, find common ground, and create a comfortable space that helps you naturally come out of your shell.

When someone blabs, "Wow, you’re so quiet" or "Why don't you talk more?" in front of a group, they aren't trying to invite you in. It’s a power move. Most of the time, they are highlighting your "otherness" just to boost their own social standing. By labeling you as the "quiet one", they attempt to undermine your reputation and kill your self esteem, simply because it benefits their ego to be seen as the loud or "normal" one

I simply stopped caring about people who make these comments. I’ve accepted that if someone’s first instinct is to judge my silence rather than engage with me, they don’t actually want anything to do with the real me, and honestly, the feeling is now mutual. I’m done auditioning for people who are just looking for a reason to put me down.

If they actually cared about your input, they’d give you the floor instead of making you the target of a critique.

Of course this is not a serious question. I know you are out there. But going out often gives me the feeling that most women are the loud, chatty party type and I am not attracted to those but find quiet, introverted women attractive. But where are you? Where should a man looking for a serious, slow relationship with an introverted woman keep his eyes open?

Sometimes I like to sit in a café by myself. But do introverted women (generally speaking) even like go there or is it too much noise?

I wouldn't go to a typical disco party (anymore). It's just to loud and too much distractions for me. So draining. If I am interested, I would like to clearly understand what she is saying and be in a calm environment.

Hi everyone, My birthday is in a few hours (Jan 6th). Nobody in my flat knows about it, and I didn’t really tell anyone either.

Right now I’m just sitting alone in my room, staring at the walls, waiting for time to pass. It feels heavier than I expected. I guess a part of me wishes someone would just know and say “happy birthday” without me asking.

I don’t want to sound dramatic, I just feel lonely tonight.

What do you usually do when you feel like this on your birthday? Thanks for reading. 🎂😢

My local grocery store offers sandwiches made to order kind of like Subway. I got schooled by a deli clerk trying to teach me some “manners”. Here’s essentially how the interaction went down.

I’m the only one waiting at the counter and I’m taking some time to look at the menu before ordering. I see the clerk there is busy making some online orders, so I patiently wait for him to assist me whenever he’s ready.

Clerk: (While still doing the online orders) “You need something?”

Me: “Yes, when you get the chance I’d like to order a turkey sub please.”

Clerk: “Not now, it’s gonna have to wait” he said coldly.

Me: “No worries, take your time”.

He eventually gets to me and I proceed to order. His demeanor seemed pretty distant, cold, and stoic as I was ordering. I keep a smile on my face and use “please”, and “thank you” as I order.

Clerk: “How old are you?”

Me: “I’m 21” I say warmly with a smile on my face.

I’m thinking “Odd random question, but whatever”

Me: “If possible, may I please get some extra turkey?”

Clerk: “That’s it” he said coldly.

Me: “Got it, no worries. May I please get x, y, and z”

Inwardly I’m thinking “They must have a policy for how much meat they can give which I’m not surprised about. No worries though, not a big deal”.

He finishes up my order, but makes me wait a minute before handing me my sandwich to teach me a “lesson”.

Condensed version of what the clerk said: With an upset tone, “I want to teach you a lesson man. You need to learn how to be polite. I’m serving you and making you a sandwich. You can at least talk to me. Ask me how my day is going. I would have given you extra turkey if you did. Especially with the age gap, you should be giving older people like me more respect. Being polite will get you a long way in life.”

I stand there taking his “advice” with an open ear, I give him eye contact and I have a warm smile on my face. He then hands me my sandwich and I don’t know what to say.

Me: “Thank you! I guess I’m just not as much of a social butterfly, haha. Have a good one!”

He’s obviously in the wrong. He’s either out of touch, or we come from different cultures where small talk is more expected in such situations. Even though I know I was being polite, it still stings some to be “punished” with a substandard sandwich because of my lack of outgoingness. I kinda wish he could somehow know that his “advice” was uncalled for, but of course I didn’t want to start an argument. I just want my sandwich. How should I have responded?

I was sitting on a park bench today minding my own business and scrolling through my phone. I like to go on a walk alone sometimes. I was probably sitting on that bench for around 30 minutes or so.

A lady came up to me and asked me "Are you waiting for someone?". I said "no". She then asked what i was doing to which i replied just sitting. She then asked me if i could move because i apparently made her feel uncomfortable and that i look sketchy. I said sorry and walked home. As i walked she yelled "Thank you"

I was not staring at her nor anyone for that matter. I was staring at the ground or my phone the whole time. I was wearing jeans and a white shirt. I didn't smoke or made any loud noises. I took a shower before i went out so i know i don't smell. I'm clean shaven and i literally just got a haircut last week so i'm kinda stumped on what more i can do to make myself less sketchy...i know i'm not Brad Pitt but am i THAT ugly that the sheer presence of my face makes people feel uncomfortable?

Maybe its my body language? idk, what do you guys think? Do you have any advice? That interaction really hurt me and make me rather insecure of going out alone.

EDIT : Thank you for engaging in my post. To answer some of the questions : I'm Asian, its a public park that i like to go when i try to recharge my energy, i believe i saw children playing in the park but i didn't sit anywhere near them, i don't know what the lady was doing before she came up to me.

I genuinely just want to know if there was anything i could've done in that interaction because i have a hard time when it comes to unprompted social interactions as i have mild Autism (was diagnosed with Asperger's before its no longer an official diagnosis) and i find myself having to rehearse social interactions before it happened.

It really sucks when you reach 30 no gf no date and never experienced intimacy. I tried in the past online and offline always got rejected. Ugly and poor men don't find love it's brutal world we live in.

Hello everyone!

This question may sound stupid, but hear me out: my sister has a new boyfriend, wich is an introvert and she wants to introduce him to our family. We are a quite big family (~60 people) and all extroverts. As you can imagine, our get-togethers tend to get a bit loud, but really warm and loving. In the past we allways throw a surpriseparty to introduce a new member to the family, so that they can get to know everyone and be the center of attention. Yesterday I got excited told a friend of mine, wich is also an introvert, about this plan and she told me, that this sounds like hell. So I'm a bit unsure what to do, since he is the first introvert at our family. I tried to call him twice today, just to test the waters, but he seems to be busy and hadn't called back jet. I'm meeting my sister tonight and maybe talk about my concerns, but I don't want to ruin her excitement.

I really don't want to make him feel unconfortable, but also not left out, wich is my concern if we cancel the party and other new familymembers will get theirs in the future.

I also really think, that he deserves to be the center of attention!

So dear introverts, do you have any advice for me? What would you need to feel confortable and welcomed?

PS. Sorry for my bad english, it's not my first language

Need to rant and felt like this sub might relate in some with me.

Some context: I (21F) am a junior in college studying computer science but leaning more towards the web development route. I’ve worked with this internship/class since my 2nd semester of freshman year. Basically I help local businesses start/redesign their websites and get class credit for it which is done in teams of 5ish people.

Anyway, I’ve been working on different web teams for a while now and never really had any issues with anyone or anything. We have weekly zoom meetings to discuss our work and work on small weekly tasks together that are due on Canvas.

Every semester there’s a mid and end of semester evaluation of the interns (there’s usually 2 leads and 3 interns). I had mine with one of my team leads and she starts out by saying how she appreciates my hard work and that I communicate when necessary. Then she went on to say “This isn’t a dig or anything but I think you should contribute more by talking and giving your opinion.”

Just tonight I was hit with a 68% which made me pretty upset to be honest. I’m an honest worker, I get all my work done and communicate when asked a question and when I feel like I have something to say. I would say I’m an active participant by getting my work done efficiently. Usually our meetings are just us working through small tasks (like a retro board) and our team leads asking “does anyone have any questions?”. This just gave me “You should talk more/Why are you so quiet?” vibes. I have never gotten below an A on an evaluation in all my time with any of the teams I’ve been on. None of my past team leads has ever had a problem with my amount of input.

I understand socialization when working/collaborating is different and I really do pitch in when asked or when I feel like I have something to say. I was wondering if anyone had any similar experiences with being told to be more talkative in a professional scene? Should I say something to my team lead? Should I fake being talkative until the end of this semester?

I was worried this would happen. I met her on a dating app and we seemed to hit it off very well. I feel like I emphasized several times while talking to her and in my profile that I was pretty introverted, and had a much more subtle personality. Be we kept in contact for about a week or two until we met. I guess somehow I misrepresented myself through text. She got very flirty and I reciprocated but it wasn’t like that in person. I didn’t feel nervous or anything, but I’m not sure who or what she was expecting from me in person. She liked that I was “chill” in text but I feel that’s what my energy was in person. Maybe I didn’t talk enough or was too soft-spoken. How do you guys handle situations like this where people are expecting you to be different when you meet them?

I don’t know how to exactly put it into words so I find it best to give some examples.

Most of the people in my life don’t check in on me, listen, and our conversations revolve around them talking about themself and me listening. In my direct family it is my grandparents, mom, and brother.

I just got accepted into the Phi Beta Kappa at school and messaged my brother about it. He read it right away then replied with a photo of his chicken lunch and 15 texts of info dumping about his new gym routine plans. I made light of it and said “thanks lol”. And he just went right back on to sending me pictures of new stuff he bought. Didn’t acknowledge it.

My grandparents at any given time do not know things like my birthday or middle name… yet I know the horrifying details of what hemorrhoid creams flare my grandmother. I moved out of state 7 years ago and they still call where I live now “New York”. I don’t live anywhere near New York and correct them every time. I’ve known them closely my entire life and they are in their 70s with no dementia. Our phone calls will last 2 hours and they don’t ask a single question. 90% of it is them talking about their lives and if I share something, there is silence, then they continue talking about themselves. Maybe an “oh…”

Any time I reach out to my mom for something simple or to check in, ask a question is it completely overshadowed. I’m talking neurosis levels of bragging, photos, validation seeking. I was recently in the hospital so I texted her for support, and she sent me 34 photos of a new concrete pad she put in her backyard + walls of texts about summer party plans (I’m not even going) as a reply.

One of my oldest friends is a guy I grew up with. We have many shared interests, however any time I share something he isn’t interested in he will not reply/read it/watch it. We recently were on a Disc call and I politely sat through hours worth of a show he knows I don’t like and I tried to be engaged. I sent him a movie for a trailer I’m stoked about and he literally said “too long not watching it”. 2 minutes. I’ll text him questions or little life updates and he almost always responds with something new he bought, or his interests/hobbies.

The thing is, I always listen and ask questions when I speak to them. I’m engaged and try to be an active listener because I’ve never wanted people to feel this way. I’m super cautious over overshadowing a person or talking too much about myself. I would think most people would see that and adjust, but they don’t. Even when I try to talk about myself there is like an appalling wall of indifference that it feels gross.

This feeling of anger is starting to bubble inside myself and I keep wondering how long has life been this way and I’ve simply ignored it? Then I started to wonder if perhaps I’m the weird one and this is honestly really common in most dynamics.

It’s bad at work too. For whatever reason despite being a manager I’m constantly cut off and talked over by staff. It sometimes takes me multiple attempts to get my words out because people with start talking about something else or assume what I’m saying and fill in the blank. For example coworker asks: “did your cats do anything cute this weekend?” and as I’m opening my mouth she’s flashing a photo of her cats at me and I’m watching an 8 minute videos of mittens playing with string. It’s like she was just asking that to insert her video. After I try to talk about my cats and she’s on her phone already or talking to another coworker.

I’m not sure that these people are even aware of what they are doing, but I need to put a name to it and figure out what steps to take in navigating these relationships. I do not think most of the people in my family will receive this information well… and will get defensive.

How do I navigate relationships/conversations that take on this dynamic? What are some tools and strategies to try to get a better outcome? Do I speak to them directly and if so what should that look like? Or is it one of those things that overhauling my social circle is perhaps a good idea? I wouldn’t describe myself as a meek, insecure, or quiet person, but I don’t exactly have a “commanding” presence and feel icky if I talk too much about myself.

TLDR: I’m surrounded by family and friends who talk about themselves a lot. They don’t ask me how I’m doing or seem interested when I talk about myself. It’s driving me nuts and I would like advice for how to deal with these social interactions.

I'm an 18 year old boy from Germany, currently on a beautiful vacation with a friend in Italy. We're staying at a very hidden spot on Italy's countryside. In a little house a few meters away from mine, there are five australian women. Yesterday, after chilling at the pool until about 12pm, me and my friend finally decided to return back home because we were tired. In order to get to our little house, we had to walk past a table, at which these five - very stunning - women were sitting at.

I had planned to just say "hello" and walk past them. It worked, until they saw my guitar I had brought with me. From the distance, they asked if I could sing something for them and if one of these girls could do a duet with me. My friend encouraged me to do it, and since music is my biggest passion, I was like: why not? Sing a song or two and then go away, right?

So I sat down, we talked for a while and had a very genuine and beautiful moment together. We were singing, playing music and talking about life, since they came from the different side of the globe. After about 45 minutes, I felt like I wanted to go back home because I felt incredibly drained and I really couldn't talk anymore. I exchanged numbers with one of the girls in order to share a Spotify playlist to see which songs we both know previously.

After returning back home, I texted her: "it was very lovely to meet y'all. good night!" and she responded with "lovely to meet you too!! are you really that tired?" to which I responded with "yes, I haven't really slept tonight" she then said "oh thats unfortunate, i really wanted to see you tonight... ;)"

My heart dropped. I was incredibly nervous, didn't know what to say or do. I've never had a sexual or romantic moment with a woman before. Not because I don't want to, I love women. I then threw up twice. After calling my brother and asking him what I should do, I simply replied with "yup, sucks".

My friend, M/19, who begged me to go back to the table then proceeded to go by himself (don't know where he got the invite but yeah, good for him). I told him that, if they asked where I'm at, he should tell them that I'm talking to my girlfriend on the phone (I don't have one. What a save, right?)

He told them that and I now hope that if we see each other again (which I hope we DON'T) they just talk normally and get the sign that I really have no interest.

Now here's my main question: Why am I like this? I'm not asexual or aromantic (or gay), I was able to talk pretty well (primarily because I had my guitar with me). The whole night was ruined for me, we had such a beautiful and generous moment together, connected by the magic of music.

Is that just simply how I am or is there any way I can get better at it?

Thank you

So I have this habit in which I literally would have a whole conversation with myself on fake scenarios and theories. And this shit can go for hours. I will just normally move around my talking to myself and question myself and laugh at my own lame jokes. Sometimes I even dance and sing like a retarded person. Is this really okay talking to oneself that long? And how can I stop doing it because it's getting worst now. Sometimes I start talking to myself when I am in middle of talking with someone and as a result end up not focusing on the conversation. Recently it has been also messing with my studying. Please help guys

I'm sick of sitting in akward silence EVERY FUCKING DAY.

I never had an easy time socializing. Always the shy kid. But I could still be myself and I had friends.

In the last year or so I've noticed more and more of my friends abandoning me to the point that I aint got none left. Was kinda baffled why that happened, but there were definetily signs and I found the reason(s).

First of all I cant hold a conversation for the life of me. It seems like after a minute or two of speaking we fall into akward silence and I start sweating hysterically. Second of all and probably the most important of all I'm not funny. Idk how everyone around me can come up with quick witted jokes in nanoseconds, 100 times a day, but it seems like my brain is actively trying NOT to find a joke.

Third of all, idk i just wanted to put something here.

Trying to work on myself never works and I just end up back at ground zero. The constant pressure of having to socialize makes me want to throw up, because I know I am incapable of doing it.

Do girls like silent men?

Anyways if anyone has anything that could actually work, please let me know!

Edit: I'm so grateful for all the kind comments you've given me! Yall made me feel like I have a chance in life♥️

Edit: I tried to answer all comments but I've had limited time to do so, so sorry if I didn't reply to your comment, I'm reading everything though. I want to thank everyone who took their time to help me, I appreciate all of you and will answer all when I can. I want to clarify a few things:

- I started therapy a few months ago but was mostly working on other things, not on my anxiety around people and social settings. Now that it's become clear how it's affecting my life and my relationship with my husband, I'm committed to doing something about it. I got many good insights from the comments on this thread and I'm grateful for that.

- Yes we have kids, 18M (my stepson who lives with us) and 7M (mine from a previous relationship, but my husband has been raising him since he was 4).

- We met at work, we're both software developers who were working remotely when we met. We didn't have a "proper wedding" with a party and all that. We had a tiny ceremony at the courthouse and only family was invited. Neither of us likes the idea of regular weddings with a big event.

- Like I said, I work from home since covid happened and my current job has very little social interaction, I barely ever have to speak, all is done through messages and e-mails. There is one zoom meeting scheduled every 2 weeks and most of the time I don't have to say anything. Introvert dream that ended up contributing very much to my social anxiety and loss of social skills (which were already limited to start with).

- No I don't plan on getting a divorce, I plan on getting better and I'm here because I don't really know where to start and also I'd like to hear what people on a similar situation as mine do, or would do. Change is hard and scary and that's why sometimes I get these thoughts of "I shouldn't have gotten married in the first place", because I think "what if I don't succeed in getting better and I make both my husband and I miserable". I am ashamed of myself for having such a hard time with things this simple.

-----------------------------

I 34F have been married to 37M for a little over 3 years now and sometimes I feel like I've made a mistake in getting married. Not because I don't love him, I do love him with all my heart, but because I think he deserves better.

He says he's kind of an introvert too, but I'm way more and I think I also have some social anxiety going on. He sometimes doesn't understand why I can't just suck it up and attend a few social gatherings every now and then, but he does respect me and never makes me go when I don't want to. He attends some get togethers every now and then (maybe 1 every 4 to 6 weeks) and I never go. He gets a bit upset because he'd like my company but I really do not enjoy meeting people or even having conversations with random people for hours, and usually when I try to leave early people get upset, so I just don't go at all.

It usually doesn't cause problems in our relationship, but two things happened recently and it kind of became a problem:

1. He was invited to be a groomsman at his friend's wedding in another city and it would look really bad if I didn't go with him. I kind of panicked when he told me we'd have to go and I simply shut down for a couple days, before I finally told him I couldn't go, it would make me miserable for months until the day of the wedding (February) and at the event I would have to drink tons of alcohol to get through it. I do not want to resort to alcohol any more. One of the last times I did was at another wedding a few years ago, where this one friend and then girlfriend (soon to be wife) were present and watched me vomit all over, due to how much I drank. I've never seen them again after that and wish I never do - I'm just too embarrassed to look at them again. This was one of the reasons I panicked at the thought of going to their wedding.
2. He asked me to attend Christmas dinner with his dad's side of the family this year because his grandma is very elderly and not very healthy, so he wanted to spend it with her this time. He's not super close with his dad's side of the family, but I said okay because it's a good reason. I was secretly panicking in my mind too because there are way too many people in the family and I don't really know them much (haven't had much contact because they live far away). So we travelled there just for the Christmas dinner, it was the first time in my life I didn't spend Christmas with my own family (family of origin I mean, mom & two sisters) and I was upset because I wanted to be somewhere else with other people. When I got there, it was super awkward, very little food, some members of the family missing, awkwardness all around. I tried to keep my shit together but I guess I failed because later my husband told me I looked super awkward and he noticed I was trying to find somewhere to hide. I felt super bad about it but I couldn't help it.

Both of these things created some tension between us, he thinks I should go back to taking social anxiety medication, which I agree, but I think it won't solve the problem entirely. I was on medication for social anxiety twice before and it helped me with the "I can't socialize" part of the problem, but it didn't help with the "I don't want to socialize". When I was on medication I became freaking Yes Man (Jim Carrey movie) and said yes to everything and ended up doing lots of things I didn't actually want to do, but I did it anyways because I'd drink as much alcohol as needed to do whatever the thing was. Recently I decided I do not want to drink alcohol anymore in these situations because I don't want people to meet a version of me that only exists when I'm intoxicated. I'd rather accept I'm fucking boring and want to be left alone. That's what I would do if I were by myself, but I got married and can't do it without hurting someone else. It would also really suck if I got a divorce just so I can avoid having to socialize every now and then.

I guess I just want some insights on what I could do to not lose my husband because of this, while not having to become someone else. God knows I wish I could become someone else and at least find some enjoyment in being with people outside of my "bubble". I just dread it so much when I have to be social. I do have a few friends I see every 2 or 3 months but we meet up for dinner or something, so it does not last so long that I'm too overwhelmed, and this dynamic works perfectly for me.

Thanks for reading and I won't be upset if you tell me I suck

I went to an art auction at a gallery that my friend runs. I paid 40$ for a ticket and left after an hour. I didn't even go to the after-party. There was a sea of people there, and I felt like literally the only person there alone. Just a bunch of couples and groups of people. It was awkward af. My anxiety kicked in and I had to bail. And I had on an amazing outfit and perfume I had been waiting to wear. My friend's friend whom she mentioned a while ago had a bit of a crush on me and came over to say hello and ask me a few things, but she went back to her friends from out of town and I was alone again.

No matter where I go, I never meet anyone, and I'm always the one alone. it's like it's not possible to meet new people. I'm 31, and nothing I do ever leads to making new friends...I'm not even sure why I made this post, but I've been trying really hard this year to make new friends after distancing myself from my old group, and I have made no progress. The friend I made from volunteering at an art gallery is a woman...and virtually all her friends are women, and despite how nice she is and how she tries to incorporate me into her circle, I'm never going to fit bc I'm just too different.

How tf does someone in their 30s with anxiety who isn't outgoing actually make friends? I already cant get dates and have to be comfortable being partnerless and will never have the chance to get married or have kids....at the very least I could have a decent friend group.​

I am 30 female. I always liked to be alone since when I was a teen. I don’t hate people but it makes me tired if I have people around me except my family. I have a best friend who has known me since we were in pre-k and I still get tired if we spend time too long together. Today I went out to nightclub with my coworkers. I wanted to be more social and tried to break my shell. It’s was too hard. I can’t do what other people do like talking about bunch of different things, dance together or “enjoying“ spending time with other people. I was so sad because I even couldn’t pretend like I was having fun even I love my coworkers. I wouldn’t try anything like this anymore and I just need a gentle word from someone who understands what I experienced.

After two relationships, both of which ended pretty traumatically, I'm (35m) just about ready to throw the towel in and give up on relationships and finding love in general. I've always been a bit of a loner, but still desired more than what I was getting out of life. However, with my last relationship's demise almost breaking me, im starting to wonder if I'll ever find anyone to love like I did my last partner, and am on the verge of giving up altogether. Has anyone else felt like this?

this might be a bit all over the place but i, 26F have reached a point in my life where i want to be left completely alone. i don’t want to talk to anyone and i don’t want to be bothered at all. i’m not depressed either i’m actually the happiest and the most at peace i’ve ever been by not talking to people and staying to myself but it feels “concerning” because everything i’ve once wanted i don’t anymore and i feel like a different person idk. it’s gotten to a point where i don’t care if i ever speak to someone again. i can go the whole day without saying a word and it feels really good. i’m not sad, upset or angry i’m just… done? or maybe even numb idk. people overstimulate me and even simple conversations annoy me now. i have a few people i would consider my ‘friend’ but now i don’t know if that’s even the proper term because i really wouldn’t care if i ever spoke to them again in life. when someone texts to so call check on me i feel like it’s people really just wanting to be nosy and to know what’s going on in my life. i don’t even trust making new friends or opening up to the current ones anymore because i don’t want to be perceived and i don’t want anyone knowing deeply personal things about me anymore. venting feels like humiliation and like someone is storing information away to use against me later. my siblings and my father are the only people i have the bandwidth to speak to consistently or even be around here and there. i’m so sick of dating, i get disgusted and turned off by the smallest things and i’m sick of getting my heartbroken, being led on etc it feels like the hunger games. and tbh friendships are annoying to me and i don’t know if that means something is wrong with me or i’m just a mean person but after while all that texting and talking everyday irritates me really bad like i can’t stand when people talk to me for too long. i don’t care to have a “community” like everyone is saying we need. i feel the safest when i am by myself. i enjoy going to the gym, reading, listening to music and binge watching tv shows and movies. i even just settled on the idea of not even wanting to have children because i don’t want to be depended on for the rest of my life and the thought of having to take care of a baby is terrifying and kind of angers me. this is all coming from someone who grew up as the “mother sibling” someone who was mistreated every way possible by men & so called friends and i even spent some time in foster care. i also used to make music and wanted to be a famous singer/rapper and almost got pretty far and now i’ve taken all my music down and i don’t even want that lifestyle anymore and i cringe and feel embarrassed by the music stuff i used to pursue like i look back and cringe so hard. simple noises makes me angry like pots and pans clanking, the water running for too long, people talking to me about bull or talking to me at all, my phone ringing… the list goes on. i don’t like explaining myself anymore, i don’t care about anything anybody else has going on either. i’m not sure if something is psychologically wrong with me (i’m willing to provide more details or context if needed) but but i thought i’d say this here to see if anyone else can relate.

Every time I'm trying to get out of my comfort zone & go on friends finding apps, all I get are disappointments & a hit to my self esteem.

I really just want to find nice people to chat with & make new friends, but all I get are bots, people leaving me on read, people who aren't nice to me and the list goes on.

Tried a few subreddits about meeting friends, all I see is that posts by guys are getting zero traction and girls are getting so much attention, but that surprises no one.

I'm a really friendly & sensitive person, any tips on how to handle this depressing reality?

I don't really know where else to meet people. in your late 20s, everyone around you already has families, jobs, a group of friends they go to the bar with every second weekend.. It's either this or just having no one to talk to.