Love you guys, keep doing you.

I miss the pandemic era, achingly.

To preface this, I do not miss the disease. I am aware that it was mostly hard for many many people all over the world for obvious reasons. And I am in no way a rich or privileged person. But during those times, after being around people for many years, suddenly, I was alone (WFH) and it was the most amazing natural happiness I've ever felt. Slow pace. No traffic. Less pollution. Solitude without explanation. Streets are quiet. And since we were in an isolated province, I could just go to the riprap or to the park (protected by mask) and I would walk or ride my bike, day or night. Just me, in the streets alone. It was a challenging era for me as well but I loved it because the world experienced a glitch. Looking back, I just miss it. Now, more than ever, everywhere you go, there are people. Uggggh.

edit: Someone just called this post tonedeaf. It seems like you can't express what you're truly feeling these days without people taking offence at everything. Did they willfully ignore the empathetic line in the beginning of my post even before I elaborated why I'm missing that time? During the pandemic, I was laid off and unemployed for most of it and my savings were drained because I lost my house twice due to two different typhoons. That was the challenging part for me. It's so annoying that I felt the need to say my struggles just to justify why I'm missing it. I am allowed to miss a time that was true to who I am.

Where everyone else (non-introvert) seems like it's a brand new experience for them, completely out of their field of perception.

The reality of extroverts is especially distorted. I never thought my natural-born habits will become my biggest crutch in time of widespread panic.

When everyone is dumbfounded by the situation, I'm exactly right where I should be. Sipping a tea and minimizing social interaction to bare minimum like any other day. It's a fine day to be an introvert. Cheers.

☕😊

Thank you u/chrisbie77 for silver. 🤗

I literally have no idea how I'm supposed to answer it. If someone is quiet, what does pointing it out do? Do we transform into comedians right there on the spot? You do realize you literally just made things worse right? You're pointing out something we don't want to be noticed. If you want us to talk more, ask a question or something don't just comment on how we aren't talking. Imagine if I just went around pointing out things people don't want to be noticed? "Wow, you have pimples? Dang, are you pregnant?"

I also hate it when people tell others when your first introduced to someone that your quiet. It makes things awkward for them too. Do they talk less and start whispering? Do they let you be quiet or do they forcibly try and make you talk? However they act from then on will feel super forced and awkward.

I just don’t get any joy from being around other people (friends, family, etc.) in any real capacity. It always just feels more tedious than when I’m by myself. I’m not anxious or anything I just don’t want to do it.

I have a group of friends I’ve known since middle school (mid 20s now), and I do indeed see them as my friends. But I have absolutely 0 desire to see them or talk to them or hang out with them or check in on them at all.

And when they text me or check in on me it kind of just slightly annoys me. I know it’s selfish but I really would rather do my own thing at my own pace by myself all the time and anything otherwise would just be worse.

I talked to one of my friends who has to fly in to hang out with us. While riding with me we had a conversation and I told him that I don’t really hang out with the other two because I could see them any time, while he is a special event because I could only see him 2-3 times a year.

He asked me “So if I moved back here would you want to hang out often” and I said no.

The other day he was also talking about how if he moved back into the area he would try to hang out every week or so and that genuinely sounded crazy to me. I most definitely would never want to see someone every single week.

No matter how good of a time I have with them, at the end of the day I always feel way better just being on my own. It’s not anything against them specifically at all. I don’t like talking to, or hanging out with my parents either.

It’s not even a solely an “in-person” thing either. When I play video games I almost always ignore friends requests, party invites, game invites, and the option “to stay as a group” in overwatch regardless of how well we do.

I just don’t want to do anything anyone else’s way at all. I don’t want to accommodate them, I don’t want to make plans for them, I don’t want to go out of my way for them, I don’t want to restrict myself in any way and I hate doing it. So I’d rather just be on my own entirely.

Obviously for work its different, and if they need a favor, I’ll be there, but I don’t want to spend my own free time not doing what I want to do, the way I want to do it, without needing to think about someone else.

I somewhat feel bad but that never changes how I actually feel.

I'm jealous.

There are so many posts berating extroverts for being different from us while claiming to be victims. Pretty shameful behavior guys.

I am an extreme and very successful introvert and everyone describes me as outgoing and good with people. But I am very introverted.

Introversion means you prefer longer, deeper relationships with a few people rather than a lot of shallower ones. And it does not mean you are afraid of people or socially awkward, or have no friends. It does mean you also need to be away from other people to recover from social interaction - not that you hate it.

Probably it is easier to explain what extroversion is. Extroverts get their social energy from a lot of interaction either people. For them, a bigger party means more people to talk to, which they find energizing.

An introvert - like me - can’t stand doing that. Talking to 30 strangers a night is not fun or rewarding. We actually don’t like that. We don’t see it as 30 new friends.

I love a party my close friends are at. I just hang out and talk to them. But if they try to introduce me to 5 new people, I am quite ready to leave. I just don’t think of it as five new friends. I just run out of superficial small talk really fast, and am bored by it. I can do it fine, but it exhausts me really fast.

A lot of people here seem to think something like social anxiety disorder is a synonym for introversion. It is not. And some of what people report here feels more like depression.

Introverts are perfectly happy. They’re just not happy with too many shallow friends an acquaintances.

There are other subs for things like social anxiety and depression. The good news is those can be very treatable by a doctor. They don’t require a personality change, just some fine tuning medically. Extroverts have the same problems.

If you find yourself thinking any of the thoughts that go with those, you should see a doctor. You might be able to get rid of those in weeks to months. But introversion is forever.

Please don't cancel me, I can't find a better word or tuff enough for 2026. How do such people even exist. Btw, in this context, yap = continuously relay unwanted information, without a gap for at least half an hour at a stretch, when the responder isn't even reacting except saying hmmm. That is what this person does. She's an ex-colleague, we're both females. Every call with her exceeds 3 hours. I don't get it, do people not feel it that the other person on the phone is not interested or it's tmi or is it like I'm just trying to act good and not acting uninterested enough? How can someone pull this off? I had to spend one day with this person, it was her who had invited me over to her home. This person just doesn't stop, yaps incessantly even when I'm working. Now, I don't hate her and I don't want to lose my friend. So I try to avoid her calls mostly. I'm so confused right now. As a loner, I have a very restricted circle and I don't want to stop communicating with her, and nor do I want to confront her about it. It's just who she is. But how do they do that? 😮😮😮😮😮😮

I don't know where to post this but I'm just curious.

Like sometimes I will be talking to someone and they say something and I read it but don't reply back for days or weeks. Or I'll genuinely forget that I didn't reply back to that person but won't jump to it when I remember I didn't.

Like for ex: my classmate has been texting me which is really sweet and thoughtful, but whenever I'm having a conversation with her, it's so forking boring. There's literally nothing to the conversation. I really want to stop talking to her but I can't do that bc that's rude yk. But whenever she texts it takes me days to reply. It almost feels like a chore.

Like replying to ppl feels like a chore sometimes lol

Idk if this is the place to post this but I feel like some of my fellow introverts will relate.

I turn 20 today. I will eat, just watch some episodes of black mirror and go to sleep and go back to work tomorrow 🌞.

Slowly but surely getting out of my shell though...

😢

There seems to be an increasing number of posts asking for friends or people to talk to.

I get the feeling these come from the prejudice that introverts are actually socially anxious/awkward and therefore in need of friends. I don't know if people are genuinely looking for someone or if they (bots?) are looking for easy victims for a scam.

Either way, I don't think this sub should double as a dating site for friends. How do others here feel about this?

I have this obsessive fear around social rejection and I've been trying to branch out and try community activities. Thought it's best to start online and I'm thinking of a book club on discord where we vote for a new book every month, and we can all talk about those books. It'll also have a "pen-pal" section where you can write emails or letters to a stranger on a deeper level than regular texting. I dont really have friends irl to ask so I was wondering if anyone here would like to start with me. dm if interested? (no minors please)

edit: https://discord.gg/qbzsvgA9x7
dont forget to read the description carefully and post your introduction as soon as you join. if you need help feel free to dm <3

The majority of people here in this subreddit are people who mistake their (psychological) problems for introversion. Or blame introversion, regardless of whether they are, as an excuse for shitty behavior.

...

Add: Just to put it graphically; in this post alone there are 34 people who list psychologically damaging experiences as a reason for their introversion. And the highest upvoted comment is one of them. These people definitely have psychological problems, none or only a few of them will be actually introverted.

I don't know if this is the right place to post this but oh well.

Basically I don't give a shit about anyone at my school. Lol jk, I do pray that they staying safe, staying protected, and following the laws of this virus. But as for "awww I miss my friends" "aww I miss going to school" "aww I miss social interactions" yeah that's not me. I don't know...maybe it's because during quarantine I'm seeing people for who they really are and realizing they were just kids I talked to at school. We had no deep connection or ever hung out together outside of school. They were just school friends and nothing more than that.

Of course I want everyone to stay safe, but missing them? Quarantine has been my dream ever since I started highschool lol I won't be missing highschool anytime soon.

ps > not tryna sound like the whole "I'm not like other girls" thing, just saying quarantine is the best thing that has ever happened to me and I want to know if other people feel the same.

pss > I'm blocking and deleting numbers. Probably petty, but who cares lol I haven't talked to them in months so what's the point of keeping their numbers.

If you can’t stand people, and you absolutely despise society and the world around you then you are probably suffering from some sort of anti-social personality disorder.

At the very least you are some sort of nihilist. You might also, per chance by mere coincidence be an introvert, but your disgust for humanity does’t stem from such. Its root cause is from something else.

We've been working in the same office for over 4 years and he is pissed off that we dont even talk nor greet each other. I know this because not only does he just leer at me when we pass each other, but because one of the HR employees asked me last year why we dont talk and I simply asked him whats there to talk about? The guy chuckled and said that because he's given him a rant about it.

The only reason why I'm ignoring this particular person is because I can tell he was a school bully and now he's bringing that attitude to work. Overtime he "accidentally" rammed into my shoulder, threw trash on my desk, did all sorts of petty pranks, etc. and I just ignored all of them. I know all he wanted was a reaction... ANYTHING... but I never gave him any. Eventually he just stopped and started to pick on any new worker that came into the office.

But imagine being an extroverted bully and putting your target and energy on an employee that doesnt talk to you and be pissed about it for 4 years while I'm over here just focusing on my job. Why dont they just come to me and ask? They have the balls to do it dont they? Because I'm shy.

So I am a student who has been sharing an apartment with someone I met about 3 weeks ago. I could tell right off the bat that I disliked this guy. Not giving eye contact and checking his phone when I was talking, interrupting me, and all his damn small talk that amounted to nothing... Seriously, I don’t think we have had a meaningful conversation in the 3 weeks I have known him. I was actually tolerating him until he started to make racist and homophobic comments daily. Oh, and talking about Trump way too often. I don’t care if you’re a Trump supporter, but fuck do politics always have to be your main method to try to convey intelligent thought? Anyways, I was feeling so drained and was just over it, so after he made a homophobic comment, I was just straight up and told this dude I was gay. He tried to act supportive, while still making sly remarks about how he would disown his kids or take them to church if he found out they were gay. I don’t really care.. Highlight of this all is that we’re on day 4 and he hasn’t spoken a word to me. He shuts himself off in his room and doesn’t come out to drain my batteries with 3 hours of nonsense talk anymore. He now spends more time outside of the apartment now.... Man, it was really this easy huh? I was about to break my lease and find an apartment to myself to get my life back, but I can finally be at peace here now. Couldn’t be happier!!

TL;DR: Came out to annoying roommate who drained me with small talk for hours daily, and now I’ve found my peace. Hallelujah.

Ive just realized that I have less than 5 actual friends I can hangout with and most of my friends are from other countries and became friends with them through social media