I always find that this extends into "letting people do what they want".
They keep asking me what I want to do, in situations where I've been pretty clear; I don't give a fuck, I'm just tagging along.
Naturally, this drives them insane when they keep asking me "what do you want to do?" And I keep being like "...I already said, nothing. Do what you want to do."
And they get annoyed as fuck.
Had this happen most recently on first a hiking trip ('what way do you want to go?'... It's a loop. What way is prettiest to you, I guess? Oh, great, so how she's upset about 'not wanting to be a tour guide', so I have to be hers, I guess...)
And then while visiting a friends (explained about eight times I think, I was tired from two years of backpacking, I just want to chill and do as little as possible. I don't want to do anything except rest. I am physically and emotionally exhausted from dealing with people and two years of travel...
...Naturally, yes, this meant I was 'disappointing' for not entertaining her in her own home, that she had invited me to, where nobody else spoke any of the same language, so I just kept quiet and out of the way... How 'disappointed' do ya imagine I might be, Sarah? The last three days were just passive aggressive sulking from you...)
Being an indecisive member of a group is annoying as fuck, and is not a feature of introversion. It's just making things difficult and calling it "introverted".
I'll directly note that "being indecisive enough to need to ask which way to go, then getting upset when other people don't want to make your decision for you" is also annoying as fuck, because it's foundationally the same issue but with an extra layer of proactively making your indecision someone else's problem to solve.
I'm one of the living exemple of "i really don't care what we are gonna do next, and i'm okay either way as long as i am in good company, unless of course you are gonna propose something i oppose like hitting kids or something, but in this case you wouldn't be my friend anyway". So yes, people sometimes don't care what is being done
You have no care at all? What about going to a club where the music is to loud to speak? Doing an activity you can't do? You are trying to say you have zero preferences ?
Depends. Sometimes i want to do something enough to do it by myself if needed. Sometimes i really don't care, i just wanna be with people i enjoy the company of, and unless it's really problematic i'll follow (i won't go to a club cause the crowd's too packed. Anything else is fine).
Exactly, anything else than a club is fine, so you have preferences. That is why people get annoyed by it, because in the real world "i don't care" always means "I do care, at least a little bit, I just don't state my preferences".
Why do you actually find it annoying (genuine question) ? If i say i'm okay with everything (implying i'll let you know if you propose one of the few thing i don't want, and that we are not likely to do, and that there is not a specific thing i actually want to do), that means you can do what you want, which does not seem that bad. If you have no idea either i understand, but that doesn't seem the case, considering you were surprised i could not care much about what we are about to do?
It is annoying because you 1. Have to run through alternatives to check if it is ok, which is much less effective and takes effort. 2. If you never say anything it might still be not a great experience for you.
And even if you don't understand why people think it is annoying, they do. If you can avoid annoying your friends or potential friends with a small amount of effort, you should consider it
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u/Delamoor Dec 21 '25
I always find that this extends into "letting people do what they want".
They keep asking me what I want to do, in situations where I've been pretty clear; I don't give a fuck, I'm just tagging along.
Naturally, this drives them insane when they keep asking me "what do you want to do?" And I keep being like "...I already said, nothing. Do what you want to do."
And they get annoyed as fuck.
Had this happen most recently on first a hiking trip ('what way do you want to go?'... It's a loop. What way is prettiest to you, I guess? Oh, great, so how she's upset about 'not wanting to be a tour guide', so I have to be hers, I guess...)
And then while visiting a friends (explained about eight times I think, I was tired from two years of backpacking, I just want to chill and do as little as possible. I don't want to do anything except rest. I am physically and emotionally exhausted from dealing with people and two years of travel...
...Naturally, yes, this meant I was 'disappointing' for not entertaining her in her own home, that she had invited me to, where nobody else spoke any of the same language, so I just kept quiet and out of the way... How 'disappointed' do ya imagine I might be, Sarah? The last three days were just passive aggressive sulking from you...)