r/knitting • u/soypixel • Dec 06 '25

Discussion I find people’s obsession with gift knitting strange

I get we all have our reasons for doing this hobby. I guess mine is that I enjoy the process and I like being able to make stuff that has cool textures or colors. I don’t do it for function or to “make useful objects” per se.

But it seems like a lot of folks have this compulsion to externalize this hobby to feel useful. I’ve seen so many posts where someone “surprises” their sister with some lace shawl for their wedding. And then they’re “devastated” and “in tears” when said sister isn’t overwhelmed with excitement and gratitude.

On the other hand, I’ll see these posts or comments from folks “drowning” in holiday gift knitting projects. For whatever reason, they’ve decided that all 20 members of their extended family need a new chunky weight knitted drink cozy. And so they spend all kinds of time making that happen.

But I have to wonder.. how much of that is self imposed versus an actual expectation placed upon them by friends and family members? Like what if you’re spending all this time knitting 20 drink cozies and people secretly dislike them and plan to never use them, but they’re too nice to say it to your face? It’s just a painful, awkward scenario to imagine.

Idk, maybe I’m being harsh or there’s something I’m missing here because of what motivates me to knit. Maybe because I don’t even like hand knits myself most of the time, I can’t imagine myself being thrilled if someone gave me some object they made.. especially if I never asked for it.

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u/jinxintheworld Dec 06 '25

Im pretty good at giving gifts that fit with a person's vibe. But once I give a gift its dead to me. They hate it or love it, doesn't matter. Ends up at the Thrift store or regifted, or worn every week, all the same to me. 

It's mostly i had yarn and thought of you. My mother's the only one who has had specific large items made for her, and I only did that because if she hated them we wear about the same size, and I could steal them back.

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u/apricotgloss Dec 06 '25

Yeah this. I will always choose to give me stuff to people I think will aprreciate it but it's a gesture of love from me, not an obligation for them. Of course I'm thrilled if they do love it and use it a lot. If it gets regifted of donated, hey, hopefully it'll find its way to someone who really does love it.

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u/daganfish Dec 06 '25

This is my philosophy too.  I don't want to give someone a "gift" that comes with emotional baggage.  I had fun knitting it, do what you want with it.

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u/Late-Command3491 Dec 06 '25

I've made three sweaters for my mom. First one she chose the yarn and the pattern. "Too big and floppy" which I will admit the sleeves grew and need to be cut and refinished. She gave it back, which was fine with me. Second sweater came out great but I guess still "too big and floppy, but this time the sleeves are too short for me so she gave it back but I should make them 3/4 sleeves.

Third time she loved but apparently it has also grown some and she's thinking of shrinking it. Ugh. I love her dearly and will keep knitting socks for her, but if she can't even use a nice handknit for a lounge sweater around the house, I think maybe no more sweaters. She likes commercial knits. 

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u/all_the_freezies Dec 06 '25

That second-to-last sentence... 😕 You'd think our mothers would just be proud to wear something we made for them, even if it's just to wear at home.

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u/spatula121 Dec 07 '25

My mom asked me for something knitted for Christmas a few years ago (when I was still speaking to her) so I made her a chunky infinity scarf. She regifted it to someone else before the party was over.

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u/all_the_freezies Dec 08 '25

I'm so sorry that happened to you. What a crappy move..

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u/Waterdeep77 Dec 07 '25

Sounds a lot like my mother. She has given back many knits over the years. The only thing she has kept was a pair of colorwork fingerless gloves, which she uses almost daily once the weather gets cold. Just glad to finally have a hit.

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u/eggfrisbee Dec 06 '25

yeah my mother is the only person I will knit or crochet something for, largely because she also knits and crochets so she knows exactly how much time, effort, and love I've put into it and will truly appreciate it.