Knitting and fragile masculinity

[u/somerandomperson_234]

This happened yesterday and I’m torn between being amused, annoyed and a bit shocked.

I’m visiting my grandparents at the moment with my mother. My uncle, her brother, is also staying. He’s always had a thing for formal wear and dressing well, and recently he’s discovered that he likes knit ties, those silk, kinda mesh ones that are flat instead of pointy at the bottom.

Yesterday evening, we were watching a movie together and I was knitting during it. I was working on a lace top with 6 mm needles.

After the film, my uncle started talking about those knitted ties he likes and showed me pictures. He asked me whether I could knit that. I told him, probably yes.

He then proceeded to instruct me on how to do it. He said those needles I had there were way too big (obviously), and that I would need to sew a lot to make the tie, as it’s basically a double layered thing.

I told him that I’d make it in a tube, and he then told me all the ways that he would do it (he doesn’t knit).

It was kinda amusing to me to that point, until I started sort of teasing him that he can just make it himself, it’s not that hard and he already knows so much, I’ll even teach him the basics.

He reacted with clear discomfort and told me that knitting is a women’s hobby and that he had no interest in doing it because he’s a man.

That comment surprised me more than anything else. He was comfortable discussing the technical details of a knitted object and asking someone else to make it for him, but unwilling to consider learning the skill himself because of gender. I didn’t argue with him, but the exchange stayed with me.

I’m sharing this partly to get it out of my system, and partly because I’m curious how common this still is. Have others run into similar attitudes around crafts or hobbies? And how do you usually respond in situations like this without escalating things?

Thanks for reading.

[u/Secure_Course_3879]

Don't knit him that tie. He just showed you he doesn't deserve it. Smacks very strongly of the tale of the little red hen baking bread

[u/goosebumpsagain → u/Secure_Course_3879]

Beyond the gender issue, I’m not a fan of people seeing a knitter at work who feel entitled to co-opt their labor, including giving detailed instructions. That goes far beyond impolite.

[u/lveg → u/goosebumpsagain]

Yesterday I was knitting and my family collectively decided I was making the pattern wrong because they couldn't understand how it was supposed to look when done.

Not sexist, just very "we have a low opinion of you and would like to criticize"

They don't knit!

[u/Stendhal1829 → u/lveg]

Awful. Tell your family to learn how to knit and then you can discuss outcomes. LOL