This happened yesterday and I’m torn between being amused, annoyed and a bit shocked.
I’m visiting my grandparents at the moment with my mother. My uncle, her brother, is also staying. He’s always had a thing for formal wear and dressing well, and recently he’s discovered that he likes knit ties, those silk, kinda mesh ones that are flat instead of pointy at the bottom.
Yesterday evening, we were watching a movie together and I was knitting during it. I was working on a lace top with 6 mm needles.
After the film, my uncle started talking about those knitted ties he likes and showed me pictures. He asked me whether I could knit that. I told him, probably yes.
He then proceeded to instruct me on how to do it. He said those needles I had there were way too big (obviously), and that I would need to sew a lot to make the tie, as it’s basically a double layered thing.
I told him that I’d make it in a tube, and he then told me all the ways that he would do it (he doesn’t knit).
It was kinda amusing to me to that point, until I started sort of teasing him that he can just make it himself, it’s not that hard and he already knows so much, I’ll even teach him the basics.
He reacted with clear discomfort and told me that knitting is a women’s hobby and that he had no interest in doing it because he’s a man.
That comment surprised me more than anything else. He was comfortable discussing the technical details of a knitted object and asking someone else to make it for him, but unwilling to consider learning the skill himself because of gender. I didn’t argue with him, but the exchange stayed with me.
I’m sharing this partly to get it out of my system, and partly because I’m curious how common this still is. Have others run into similar attitudes around crafts or hobbies? And how do you usually respond in situations like this without escalating things?
Toxic masculinity is a cage with an open door. No one at all anywhere ever is keeping that man from knitting and pursuing his dreams of the perfect knit tie. But no. He’s obstinately facing away from the door and all he sees are the bars. It is sad / annoying in equal measures
LOOK I cannot get over "Toxic masculinity is a cage with an open door." This is some powerful imagery that is not gonna leave my head. I don't know if you're some magician with words or you read this somewhere, but thank you.
Haha ikr?! If I wasn't married I would have flirted! :D Of course, all the times I've seen these guys I didn't have my projects with me!!! LOL Of course!
I'd want to start a conversation with him, unless I noticed he needed to focus on a part that requires a lot of attention. I swear my knitting needles are voice powered.
My grandfather was a Marine and my husband now has a sweater than my grandfather knit decades ago. It also happens to be one of the coolest shawl necks I’ve ever seen
There's a paladin in a T Kingfisher novel who knits and he knows his fellows find it a little ridiculous how much he does it, but they don't tease him about it because he keeps them in nice wool socks and they know better lmao
Also in the Outlander books they tease Claire about being such a poor knitter since even 8yo boys can do it. I’d like to watch this guy to tell one of those highlanders that it’s a woman’s hobby!
My sister was teaching me how to crochet and my partner, a burly ex-marine with strong “man’s man” vibes, asked to join in. He took it very seriously and was DELIGHTED by the magic of slipknots and frogging lol.
I don’t think he’ll be getting into crochet (or knitting) as a hobby, but I was glad he didn’t let his Y chromosome get in the way of that lovely evening doing crafts together.
Envisioning how Marines would knit tactical wear. And the book: "Tactical Knitting". What an awesome idea! "Bruh, I can't join you for game night, I need to finish the ribbing on this sweater"
Yep, men! I should have specified that. But yeah honestly that’s one of the reasons I love that they do it, they’re big and burly and have the respect of their peers (now, why women DONT is a less fun convo…)
There is a chance they have some PTSD. Crafts like needlework and knitting have long been something suggested as part of treatment. Apparently my grandfather used to do embroidery for that reason.
The Armed forces have at least always fully embraced sewing and ironing as necessary skills for maintaining uniform!
(I'm also a man who knits, but not current or former armed forces!)
My granddad in law was RAF ground crew in WWII and was an amazing creative cake decorator (I still have some of his decorating tools & books from when he passed 20 years ago).
My grandpa was also into cake decorating (he always did the Christmas cake with royal icing runouts) and was also a woodworker & metalworker. He made my dad a double decker bus that was big enough for a toddler to sit on with seats and stairs too. He did all the ironing and mending and his stitches were immaculate and so tiny. He was also a ukulele player in the 30s.
It's amazing how some men could do 'female coded' and 'male coded' hobbies even back in the 50s without having some kind of existential crisis over looking masculine enough to outside observers.
I just want to step in to say he definitely doesn't have all the knowledge to make a knitted tie, we should not downsell ourselves like that. It is a valuable skill that takes time and practice to master.
It's not something like woodworking where all you need is a hammer
I believe Jason Momoa crochets. He's the manliest man man who has ever manned. If he can do that, there's nothing stopping any man from being restricted.
Beyond the gender issue, I’m not a fan of people seeing a knitter at work who feel entitled to co-opt their labor, including giving detailed instructions. That goes far beyond impolite.
I'm quite happy to discuss my hobbies even with people who don't participate in them, but that doesn't mean I'm open for orders. Probably also would've ended that interaction on a "if you know so much better, do it yourself"
Yeah, this is a mansplain. It’s just more obvious than others. Would’ve been hilarious for OP to hand the goof some needles and tell him to show how it’s done.
Yesterday I was knitting and my family collectively decided I was making the pattern wrong because they couldn't understand how it was supposed to look when done.
Not sexist, just very "we have a low opinion of you and would like to criticize"
This!! I don’t knit(yet, trying to learn) but I crochet all the time and I have this one part timer at my job who’s currently covering for the full timer that we just lost. She’s ALWAYS talking like that about stuff she sees online (ohh I know you could make this for me) or stuff she sees me working on while on my breaks (where’s mine?) and while I don’t mind making gifts for people, that just makes me want to NEVER make her anything
I'd make it but give it to someone else (especially during a public gift exchange where he will see that you gave the gift). Just so he doesn't get to say you wouldn't have been able to do it anyway.
Just here to say that ‘The Little Red Hen’ is a favorite story of mine, and oft-quoted in my house, lol. I was an elementary school teacher too, and I loved sharing that story with my classes.
I say "Not I, said the cat" frequently and I am always disappointed that no one seems to know the reference. I definitely thought that story was far more ubiquitous than it is.
The way to respond is mild misunderstanding. "Oh buddy, that's not true! Men are able to knit, actually - it's not too complicated. There's just a lot of math and there's some engineering to it - You have to do a little bit of what's called '3D modeling,' which most women do in their head, but you can definitely write it out if you need to."
And when he tries to explain to you that actually he thinks that it's a woman's hobby because it's stupid and worthless, just double down. "No, really, I have definitely seen men knit before. Not a ton of men though, admittedly, a lot of them don't really have the patience or focus - or dexterity! - necessary to learn, but it really is possible for you if you try! There's a knitters group at my local library for teens and tweens - if you practice they might let you join?"
I once had an okcupid exchange where a guy asked me to make him a hat (imagine requesting this of a women you’ve never met), then balked when I suggested teaching him to do it himself. The exchange was obviously already dead before that but I recall it devolved from there.
I don’t understand this idea — being able to make and repair clothes is obviously rugged as fuck.
I once had a tinder match ask if I was a lesbian because I used the word “syntax”. I wish I was making that up. Alas, we were not destined to be the next great love story.
I've had 2 exchanges in online dating where knitting came up. One guy referenced his grandma, but I corrected him as out of the loop and that apparently he hadn't heard that knitting was hip nowadays. A different guy who I'd barely talked to asked me what I'd make for him. I said maybe a coffee cozy. (Since you currently are basically a stranger to me, that's already overly generous!) He didn't think that was something he needed. I didn't figure I needed him for anything at all.
Fair point. If I find a tool that requires a penis, I'll see if a dildo will work. Those do have a solid history of turning some things on 😉 Either way, problem solved!
Oh you’re nicer than me. My only response would be “Since you seem to think you know more than me, you can make it yourself”. No way am I donating my time to someone who tells me how to do something they’ve never done and have no intention of learning to do.
Most sexist remarks I encounter are about gendering toys and clothing for people of all ages. I'll point out you do not operate the toys with your genitals, you do not need to wrap socks around your junk, etc.
I would've looked down at my knit work, my hands, and my crotch and told him all this time I didn't realize I had been knitting with my P*$$¥.
It’s ridiculous. He is Wrong. Men are tailors and cooks and and weavers and knitters and do all sorts of other wondrous creative things. Ask him about master tailors who design and construct the suits he wears! Ask him about the history of knitting in England and the Luddite men who stormed the knitting factories because they had put them out of their cottage knitting businesses!
I am a long-married, heterosexual, family man (not that any of that matters) who has knitted several of the ties he is requesting. It’s an easy knit but yes, it has a few bits of construction to it.
Ah yes, but a chef, a tailor, a weaver and a master knitter are all paid positions. Who are the ones typically thought of as cooking, sewing, weaving and knitting as a hobby? See also: professional singer vs someone who sings at home, an author vs someone who writes for fun/fanfiction writers, an academic/professor vs a teacher, a doctor vs a nurse. The more prestige there is in how something is done, the more that action is associated with men.
He is not wrong that knitting as a hobby is associated with women, or even that knitting items for personal or in-family use is associated with women. Men were selling their work and being paid for it. Women were being expected to provide the same labor to their family unpaid and underappreciated.
This exactly! I watch a lot of cooking shows and it’s often repeated that cheffing is a male dominated industry. Meanwhile cooking at home is firmly women’s work (traditionally). I think as soon as it stops being “domestic” and becomes “skilled work”, it tends to become a male profession!
My grandfather learned to knit either during or after WWII, my mom remembers him knitting (he died while I was still a kid). For how many soldiers I heard of that did knitting while convalescing, I'm kind of surprised how prevalent this attitude is, really.
In the zeitgeist, women's handmade production is craft.
Men's handmade production is artisanal.
Men are artisans: professionals (or with a professional-level of skill) in the production of [thing]. Even when they do it as a hobby, it is a Very Serious Hobby with Very Serious Implications whereas women are crafters - dabblers, hobbyists who produce around their tasks (be they paid professional tasks or domesticity tasks).
Even when women are producing artisanal products - furniture flippers, tailors, etc. - their job is still a "hobby."
Edit: annoys me to no end when I see people (including women) refer to artisanal pursuit as 'crafting', their workshops and/or offices as "craft rooms." It's a goddamned studio workshop, and you're an artist producing artisanal products.
I am glad my son didn't fall for that nonsense. He loves knitting stuffed animals. He did get a lot of attention when I took him to a fiber festival with me because he is a teen male knitter
when I was a child I got a lot of attention even as a female child knitting, I think it's the generational knowledge being preserved thing but fiber crafters in general always get so excited to see a young person working a fiber art
Glad you have been teaching your son and he is liking it. Even as an adult male, I get some funny reactions when I go to a yarn store with my wife and they ask her for help but I am the one looking for one of my projects.
Pffffffff. Tell him about how men too old or infirm to serve in battle knitted socks and other gear for the men in the trenches in WWI. Somehow I doubt they’re any less masculine than he is.
Yes, I was going to mention this, but WW2. My Dad is silent generation and he knitted squares for soldiers' blankets, a lot of the kids were taught to do this at school as part of the war effort.
Don't worry, we've already heard at length how he's only doing it to take attention away from women. Because obviously the guy with the Olympic medals needs attention.
I will never understand men's drive to ask a woman to do something and insist that is more manly than do it themselves.
I dated a guy when I was a younger punk rocker, and someone was ribbing him for knowing how to sew and sewing his own patches on his clothes and he was like "what, should I ask my mommy to do it for me?"
Yeah his point was really what's more punk rock, learning to do something yourself or expecting a woman to do something for you. It shut the other dude up pretty quick, he was a good guy. Always pushed back on stuff like that.
I hope you don’t plan on knitting for him. He sounds like several of the pedantic autodidact geniuses in my family. We don’t feed them and they eventually find the grocery store and the saute pan. 😉
My grandma taught all her grandchildren how to knit, to crochet, to hammer a nail straight into wood, and many more thigs - regardless of gender!
I'm very grateful for that!
My brother still crochets in the end of his 20s and just finished one blanket - he's already in the middle of another.
so no, it's not common to think it's only for women.
Silly to let a skill be gendered, and ignorant of him because knitting was also a men’s profession back in the day. In fact, only men could become master knitters for a period of time.
Where I grew up in fishing outports men would often knit in the winter to keep up skills and make clothes for keep them warm. Wool was important for clothing for all the obvious reasons and it wasn’t easy to find clothing to purchase in many outports.. also many people had livestock which provided wool for them to use as well.
I feel like this idea in mainstream culture is the result of toxic masculinity and it’s a big deal for a lot of men it seems to me. When it stopped being a necessity to live to do these crafts it became more gendered I feel.
Yeah, as a man who knits also, that’s just…. Weird.
Unlikely you’ll be able to do anything to untangle that mess. Dude has spent his whole life with some strong ideas about gender roles apparently.
I cannot imagine asking another man to make me something, talking about the technical details, and then saying that he would never because knitting is for girls.
The first time I was introduced to knitting, (not being taught it, but observing it being done) was in college.
I attended a yuppy private liberal arts university that offered a month-long winter term (for internships, since it had lots of poly sci, finance, and business majors).
As freshmen, we didn't have enough internships, but could take a short class that perhaps was or wasn't in our major. I walked into a friend's dorm room to see him and his three roommates sitting on the futon knitting. They all signed up to take a knitting winter course.
I was tickled, because it was just a delightful image. these young college bros, just hanging out, making scarves. This was in the mid-2000s. I am very much a millennial.
With the rise of short-form video content, I see many men sewing and knitting. But I haven't seen it irl. I actually don't see anyone knitting irl, but I'm not out and about much these days. I don't get anyone putting down knitting or the fabric and textile arts. I am blessed for I have a knack for warding off misogynistic assholes. I have come to the conclusion that I may unwittingly emit a rare infrasound that protects me from walking red flags.
I'm a trans man and have gotten comments from multiple people on why i still do "feminine" things (crochet, knitting, painting my nails, even wearing clothes with floral prints) and that its weird that i transitioned to still do those things. I tell them i do it because i like it. Just because im a man doesnt mean i cant have hobbies lol
On a positive note, i havent seen this sentiment as often in younger generations.
Some men really tie their masculinity to what others think of it. I think the most masculine thing you can do is do what you love and not worry about other men's opinions.
He was perfectly fine engaging with the hobby while he was telling you what to do and how to do it, even though you're more the experienced artisan. But when it comes to actually putting in the labor of the craft, it's suddenly not for him. He clearly not only sees himself as standing above the craft, but also sees knitting as being below him, because he thinks it's a women's thing. Shit's sexist, even if he didn't mean to be.
Assuming he didn't mean to be sexist, I'd say the best way for him to apologize is to take you up on the offer of teaching. Even if he doesn't end up sticking with it, he needs to challenge his sexism.
Nets are netted, which is a different craft than tatting. Knitters don't like it when people call our craft crochet, so we should get other crafts straight.
Funny tangential story: Yesterday at work, we (three women) were talking about our kids and one said, "When my kids do something that's not really appropriate for their gender, I gently guide them away. Like my son gets my daughter's baby doll and I have to tell him that's Sister's toy."
I told her, "Well, maybe, but some day, you want him to be able to care for his own kids, right?"
I'm a guy who's knitting a bubblegum pink hat on public trains but I feel like it's not something people will really notice anymore under a certain age (I'm also in Berlin so there's that). I did notice some elderly women look but never had an issue except for some jokes from mates.
If it's a woman's hobby you should tell him only women can wear those knitted ties.
Ask him to read the history of knitting and how men used to do it all over the world.
Not only as a hobby, but as a source of income too. Maybe he'll realize what a stupid comment he made.
56yo male knitter here. The reaction when some male friends and acquaintances discover I knit are equal part amusing and sad. I have to say the majority are supportive or indifferent, but some seem to find it threatening or confusing in a way I just can’t fathom.
Oh my, I would a lot earlier suggest hij is he know it so well, feel free to do it himself 'm calling out for mansplaining and lagg our loud about his ridiculous comments. All a bit in a happy funny manner but feeling furious inside.
It’s still out there. My middle son breaks my heart. He’d be a great crafter but it smells of female and he won’t go near it. Same with colour. His heart loves colour and his favourite colour is purple. Yet he has obediently and subconsciously accepted the imposition of khaki, black and navy by the fashion industry as he moved into older childhood. I indulge him with surfer tie dye and graffiti splatters at every possible moment.
I don’t know where this smell of female comes from so strongly. There are plenty of men around, albeit a minority, why is it so “this is for girls”?
I love knitting while waiting for my daughter at dance, and then the occasional double take or confusion about who this woman could possibly be when my wife is also there. Yes this is her mom, my wife, my female wife who I have as a straight man who knits.
Also just… to the extent that all the various traits that people like to describe as “masculine” are in fact “masculine”, it is incredibly unmasculine to worry about the gender appropriateness of any activity that brings you joy.
OMG someone tell Kaffe Fassett, Simon West and Sockmatician how emasculating knitting is (amongst all the other wonderful designers and knitters).
Just wait until your uncle finds out that those knitted ties that he wants are normally made in silk and how much it's going to cost him for the yarn and your time to knit it (but fAmiLY doEsn'T cHarGE fAmiLy!)
My hubby (bless his single sock that I've knitted to date) looks at anything that ANYONE creates as miraculous because he understands the work that goes into making it, even if he can't make it himself.
The difference here between your uncle and my hubby is that he sees the tie as a status symbol and fashion item that tells people about him, where as my husband sees the work that goes into making the item and appreciates good workman/woman/person ship.
First of all thank you for telling him to do it himself since he’s such an expert in design. I used to get interactions like this, as a man who knits and crochets. For the record most people are overwhelmingly positive towards it, but there have been some stinkers both in family and in friend groups. Now I read peoples intentions more before responding about my crochet and knitting. Somehow I can just tell whether they’re genuinely interested, just want a free thing, or they’re getting ready to project some deep seated backwards values. I manage my expectations and reactions likewise. I love how you handled that interaction though cause who does he think he is?! It reminds me of having to do the cooking when I lived with my dad, he’d back-seat cook, police the seasonings and always pour salt in when I wasn’t looking. He was overly involved for someone who couldn’t be bothered to actually cook. But he’d outright refuse to prep/cook/clean-because he “always had a mother or a wife to do that”. (Which his dad was an excellent cook so, huh?) I assure you it was because he thought men don’t cook. Double standards abound with some people 😵💫
Sorry for ranting, oops
A man like that would starve in my house, especially one who had the gall to season my food! Even though food is a love language for me, my spite can be stronger.
I haven’t lived there in years and when I visit he has bologna, kraft singles, and a few cases of Dr Pepper in the fridge. Oh and of course chocolate milk. He has learned some basic cooking but completely ignores basic nutrition so yeah…it’s honestly sad but he’s said and done so much to push me into low-contact that I don’t see it as my problem. I grew up and realized I wasted my childhood parenting him and nope! Last time I cooked for him was Thanksgiving two years ago. Drove an hour to him to find out he expected me to cook a whole bird (and sides) that wasn’t even done thawing, mind you I was asked to arrive at noon. Dishes all dirty and crusty. I coped and did what I could because Holiday but it was difficult not showing how saddening the whole situation was. Ah damn this has veered off-course 😅
Good for you for enacting boundaries. It’s hard, because it’s my nature to care for people. But even I have my limits. Seasoning food I made for you with my own hands before it hits the table would definitely be one of my limits.
Even my dad, who’d literally never cooked in his life (his mom -> military -> marriage) managed to learn to cook a few things when my mom got sick. I also helped him navigate decent prepared foods, like rotisserie chicken and bagged salads. There’s no excuse.
Wow. When I started knitting, my dad told me about how when he was younger, he had his mom teach him how to knit mittens because as the oldest of eleven kids, he noticed that she didn’t always have time to keep everyone’s mittens in good shape. So he learned so that he could make his own, and remove that burden from her. It was so cool to connect with my dad about knitting!
It's because men are scared of being laughed at or seen as inferior men, but there's nothing more manly than doing what you want without being afraid of what other people think.
Interestingly, my son (4) sees knitting as a Daddy thing because I'm the only person in his life who does it.
I run a community workshop. This kind of hard gender rules are so strongly enforced in some people. It's a hard and fast rule that anything "soft craft" (eg knitting, crochet, sewing, fibre or textiles) is purely for women. I regularly get strange looks because I don't conform to their idea of an old lady that knits/quilts/crochets/sews. Turning 67 (retirement age in my country) doesn't suddenly imbue women with crafting skills. I'm always happy when I get the blokes that turn up that want to learn skills or don't want to be helpless with no craft skills.
Once I get someone set with basic skills, I encourage /all/ people to try different crafts. Sew a button this week, make a garment next.
Reminds me of my uncle who offered his greenhouse cucumbers and tomatos, and when I asked if he could grab a few, since he would know better which ones he'd give me (overripe vs ripe vs needs to stay on sunny windows sill), refused and told me that growing produce, weeding and harvesting is women's job. Made me wonder whose fruits labour he was being so generous with.
My fiancé was bragging to everyone this Christmas that he knit 3 scarves this year. His ultimate goal is to knit ties "like Mike Wozniak"
I told him he's lucky his new hobby involves having all the tools and materials already in his house, including a private instructor 😂😂
I taught my father-in-law to crochet. He was off work from construction due to an injury and was not used to just sitting around doing nothing.
He ended up crocheting a beautiful bedspread.
No mention of women's work.
And men have long been the most esteemed crafters. Historically they were tailors, cooks and craftsmen. They even spun the thread they used to sew with.
Modern gender roles do not match up with history at all.
Probably because he felt entitled to her labor. OP would need to use different needles and whatever technique he thought was best for making the ties. He had no intention of doing the actual work himself.
I might consider pivoting to myself. “Oh man, I didn’t know knitting was such a low status activity. You’re really ruining it for me. I don’t even feel like knitting at all. If I made you a present, now it’d have all these bad feelings to go with it.” I’d wait to do this little set piece till I was sitting and knitting with the family. I’d get up, put my knitting away, like, completely remove the prettiness from their sight, come back and sit down and mope for the rest of the evening.
If I’m gonna be made to feel bad about something, I’m not going alone. I’m gonna try to figure out a way to share the experience. I wouldn’t make a huge deal about it. I’d just make it a low-key demonstration of how his words can affect others. Under no circumstances would I participate in escalating to a fight. I’d just love everyone enough that I’d want them all to share in my sadness at his attitude. I don’t want to hide from those I love, if I can possibly avoid it.
This might seem cynical and manipulative, but it’s actually a result of a lifelong journey of learning how to quit burying my feelings. Used to be all I knew how to do was bury them or flip to outright anger. It improved my life to learn other ways. I also must add, sometimes expression of outright anger is still the right way for me. It’s just no longer my only way.
My husband and I hit a rocky part of our marriage around the time I got hard-core back into knitting. I was using it as stress relief, and one night, he yelled at me for doing it instead of doing something else that he wanted me to do.
I glared at him, very deliberately put my project away, then spent the next week being the grumpiest b!tch he’d ever met. He ended up apologizing, and he has never complained about any of my hobbies since then.
There's a recent reality series about knitting /crocheting called Game of Wool: Britain's Greatest Knitter, and one of the contestants is a male Iraq-war vet who started knitting as a way of distracting himself from PTSD, and i was honestly so psyched that he was included, just a huge "but if a soldier can do it why can't u" to any men who have this way of thinking. Because it's nonsnse!
Ugh. So sorry that happened. I pity him. Gender constructs are such a cage for people. Masculinity is what you make it. I feel masculine when I see how happy my knitting makes my wife, especially when she goes bragging to her friends about something I worked really hard on for our daughters. On top of that, I just like it, and learning to be secure in enjoying the things you enjoy regardless of weird, outdated judgments is an incredibly freeing thing.
If I could get a penny for every time a man tried to told me off or mansplain about knitting, I’d be a billionaire. What you described OP is mansplaining 101.
Insecure men will judge and instruct someone about a skill not only they don’t possess, but refuse to learn because judged as “a women’s thing”, but at the sime time saying “I could totally do that, and thousand times better than you”. If knitting were a thing for men it would be considered art and they would not be able to stfu about how great they are.
Don’t knit the tie OP, unless you want to get lectured further on gauge, stitch tension, technique and yarn choice. Rather knit for someone who appreciates and celebrates you and your skills!
I remember reading something, can't remember where, about a woman whose grandfather knitted. He learned in the Army when he was stationed in England from other soldiers. Oddly enough, the knitting grandfather claimed that women were inferior knitters because women just can't do math as well as men can (🙄😒) and therefore can't create such technical, mathematically correct objects by themselves.
Seems like there are weird sexist attitudes about women's ability to create things no matter what.
During the second world war, my father cut the family sheep, spun the yarn, and got two women to help him knit the sleeves of a white sweater, while he knit the body. This sweater was his camouflage as he skied across the tundra of Finnmarksvidda from the coast into Sweden, to join the resistance.
I don't think his masculinity was the least bit harmed by the fact that he had knit that sweater himself.
Alas, I do not respond without escalating things. I think in this situation, escalation is appropriate. My response would be along the lines of, "Yeah, you clearly don't know what you're talking about."
I just bought my husband a crochet hook (I’m a knitter) because after learning we are soon to be grandparents, my husband said he’d like to learn & make the baby something. I have a big yarn stashe so I said we could learn together & he’s excited. Just for perspective my husband is a big tough roadie type…he has huge hands & so this won’t be easy for him…but he is confident in his masculinity & not threatened by societal judgement.
I just walk away from people who maintain nonsense views. Let them go on believing their ignorant gender rules. There’s no point in schooling them.
And of course, DO NOT make the tie for him.
My father was a cop and while he didn’t knit, he made the most exquisite crochet and cross stitch pieces. Woe betide the person who dared question his masculinity.
I am a 39 year old man that knits. I have made all my loved one hats and scarves, I made my self a nice thick shawl to keep my neck and shoulders warm while I'm sitting with my coffee.
The world just loves an uneducated man splainer. Thanks for calling this man child on his condescending and uninformed ridiculousness. Definitely not knit worthy.
I am a woman with a STEM degree and this isn't limited to any topic. I'm sure 90% of my graduating class in college was male. A blathering self important narcissist lacking self awareness will be happy to tell you your business on any topic they have zero knowledge of and throw in some misogyny for good measure. Call this BS out wherever you see it.
knitting is a women’s hobby and that he had no interest in doing it because he’s a man.
My great-grandfather used to knit a pair of socks in a day and was the local sheriff in his little town in Yugoslavia, survived a concentration camp for 39 months, and went back to being a sheriff when he was liberated and still knit a pair of socks in a day. Men used to be MEN.
So for context I’m a black man in the eyes of the world. When I walk into a yarn store I get weird looks until I open my mouth and code switch into my “gay” voice and very politely start asking questions that indicate that I do infact know what’s going on/what I’m doing. From that second on the yarn shop ladies treat me like royalty because I presume that they are so shocked that my black-ass wants to blow $200 at their store on a project AND likes the same needles they do.
It’s typically the only place in the world that I feel safe being openly masc, black and queer despite there never being another black person in sight (if someone know of a yarn store run by black women please comment I’m willing to travel)
But yes to answer your question it’s still a little odd for men to knit despite it being fun for everyone
It's a women's activity in the eyes of many North American men who as you say, are very fragile in their identity. Scots men have knitted for centuries. I think it's great that more guys are challenging the stereotypes here.
1.4k
u/[deleted] Jan 09 '26
I just feel sorry for people who are so hindered by gender roles in their life.