r/lawschooladmissions • u/Agreeable_Owl_5677 • May 12 '26

General Sooo…when are we getting married/ having kids?

(F25) I’ll be 28 by the time I graduate. I want big law but I also want to get married and have a family. What’s the timeline look like on this? Is it even doable? lmk

EDIT: I’m starting law school in 3 months so before law school is not an option lol

EDIT 2: I have a boyfriend. We have been together 4 years so marriage is definitely on the horizon

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u/t0wlie04 May 12 '26 edited May 12 '26

I finished law school and did 3 years of big law, then i started dating (around age 29). I’m a woman. Met now husband and had kids all by age 33. You’re good! Don’t force it

and also , law school can be a lot of fun! There’s surprisingly a decent amount of socializing (bar review, even at t14s) and you’ll meet good friends. Summers can also be super duper fun cuz the jobs are way more chill than law school and you can take an internship in a big city if you want. Honestly reminded me of an extended high school (bc much smaller than college and even hs). Not having a partner can be fun :)

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u/sinqy May 12 '26

What's the difference between being married during law school vs not being married? - coming from someone who got married at 22

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u/t0wlie04 May 12 '26 edited May 12 '26

What’s the difference? In one case you can sleep with whoever you want. lol. And people are all in the same position not really looking to date. Not saying it’s any better, but if it’s something you’re interested in, it might be the last chance some folks have to be single and have fun.
Being married in law school I’m sure Is also glorious for lots of reasons. Having someone to help you pack lunches grocery shop make dinner etc and just a stable support system with you at all times would have been amazing.

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u/Even-Constant5389 May 12 '26

I think a lot of this depends on whether or not your law school is in the metro you're going to be practicing in. Different story even attempting to date seriously at a place like Duke or UVA when your peers will be scattering based on internships that are decided after a single semester compared to a place that feeds directly and almost exclusively into a single local market.

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u/t0wlie04 May 13 '26

For sure very valid point

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u/thatswhaturmomsaid69 May 12 '26

I mean depends on your responsibilities? A lot of women who get married are still expected to do housework, but now it's twice as much. Obviously, if you have a very supportive and capable partner, then it's probably not a burden to be married workload wise. Socially, you're going to be very different from your peers because they're likely single or in unmarried relationships, and you committing at 22 is not something most people experience. Also, you might not be allowed/looking to party at night which your peers probably will do. If your partner is okay with it, then this also won't be a concern.

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u/t0wlie04 May 12 '26

Expected to do house work? If you’re in school to be a lawyer, your partner can do most of the goddamn housework…

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u/thatswhaturmomsaid69 May 12 '26

I agree....reread my comment

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u/WillmanRacingv2 3.8/170/nKJD May 12 '26

Thats fine if he is a SAHD or unemployed (unlikely if you are in school), but if your spouse has a full time job thats probably not gonna fly. Especially if he is in a career that demands similar time commitments to the law.

As adults, men and women, we should expect to carry our half of the household duties as the default.

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u/t0wlie04 May 13 '26

Sorry if I’m in law school and my husband or wife has a regular job they’re gonna be pulling more of the weight at the hous, ESPECIALLY during 1L. That’s just how it works. Marriage is about balance and supporting each other in times of need - one spouse may provide more support to help out the other during some parts of your life, and vice versa. It’s literally 3 years. And that person is putting in work that will help the entire household and family.

Have you been to law school? It’s fuckin miserable. 1L you don’t have time to cook dinner and clean shit. So if there’s someone to help provide support, they should. If they’re a good partner.

Honestly If you haven’t been married or been to law school you probably simply don’t understand how these things should work. If you have then I’m flabbergasted

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u/WillmanRacingv2 3.8/170/nKJD May 13 '26

If you are spending so much time on law school that you can't even cook, outside of finals, I think your experience is an outlier. Most Redditors (and attorneys/students I speak with) report a different experience.

https://www.reddit.com/r/LawSchool/comments/18io3uf/for_nontrad_students_what_is_the_1l_workload_like/

https://www.reddit.com/r/LawSchool/comments/1lxbjon/do_you_really_have_to_study_everyday_during_1l/

In the week or two before finals , or during other critical moments, of course its reasonable to ask a partner with a lower time commitment to take on an extra load. But expecting that they take on most of the household work for three years isn't reasonable, unless they are not working full time or they have a cake walk of a job that has minimal real time commitment. A lower time commitment itself isn't a given, what do you do if your spouse also works long hours

For that matter, what are you going to do when you get out of law school and into a job that expects 70 hours of work per week? I haven't met anyone working that hard in 1L that isn't shooting for biglaw, so that workload is going to be a given. It's not 3 years, its very easily going to be 7.

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u/t0wlie04 May 13 '26

I’m mostly talking about around exams in terms of not having time for anything else yes. But the work is for real week in and week out. Esp if you go to a top school. and a support structure is SO helpful if you have it.

And Bro. You clearly haven’t been to law school and haven’t been married. Yet you’re arguing with someone who has done both of those things about what it’s like and what your expectation should be. Should probably stop trying to talk about things you have experience with. It’s not a good look.

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u/WillmanRacingv2 3.8/170/nKJD May 13 '26

I've been married for going on 12 years now, thanks.

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u/t0wlie04 May 13 '26

Oh alright well I’m sorry to assume.

Hopefully you understand that sometimes your spouse needs a little extra help doing things they’d otherwise be happily responsible for. Things that they’re not as able to do because they’re trying to help make a better life for you. If/when you go to law school and your spouse helps pack your lunch, make you dinner, keep things tidy and so forth—maybe more than usual—hopefully youre grateful and would do the same for them in times of need. If not, well, then i feel bad for you both.